Intercaste marriage is it possible?

[mr.gokul]

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That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.
[/QUOTE]

Sir, you have mentioned elsewhere that your children are going to marry whites. Your kasappu towards all tradition, caste etc is understandable. But advice of an old person is taken to be valuable. If some NB guy sees this, he will say "anga brahmin uncles ey sollitanga, apram enna". This is unethical. Dont encourage this. Even if you are totally "chill", we have to live on. Even if we have to watch our own caste go down and diluted, we have to do what we can to save what we can. And like i said, i guess this is natural, and im cool with it too. Maybe weak genes are totally going under the sway of "natural selection". Maybe the only ones that remain are the strong ones... But please dont encourage this ?

 

[renuka]

That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.

Sir, you have mentioned elsewhere that your children are going to marry whites. Your kasappu towards all tradition, caste etc is understandable. But advice of an old person is taken to be valuable. If some NB guy sees this, he will say "anga brahmin uncles ey sollitanga, apram enna". This is unethical. Dont encourage this. Even if you are totally "chill", we have to live on. Even if we have to watch our own caste go down and diluted, we have to do what we can to save what we can. And like i said, i guess this is natural, and im cool with it too. Maybe weak genes are totally going under the sway of "natural selection". Maybe the only ones that remain are the strong ones... But please dont encourage this ?
[/QUOTE]

Dear Gokul...you got the members mixed up..
It is another member whose kids are marrying whites.

Btw why are you saying weak genes and strong genes etc .natural selection?

I am seeing most of the "very strong genes" in any community end up being unmarried.

 

[paramamoorthy]

You are too young (21) to fall in real love and in all probability it is infatuation. In general the maturity level of Indian kids (I was one in my previous life though God forced me to be very independent by 14 by snatching away my dad and leaving an agraharam raised mom and five small kids almost on the streets) of this age is below par as our lives have been decided by parents (go to this college, get this degree, who your friends are, take this job etc.) and their dependency on elders is high (I am not saying good or bad).

Most US born and raised kids of Indian origin do not think about love, marriage as most other American friends of them do (and get married and so on) until 26 (goal to finish BS, M.D., MBA etc. and to attain certain level of maturity) and when in residency, job etc. wait more saying the divorce rate is too high when you are in a high stressed jobs. And I know there are many marriages that are on ropes even in India now.

In my opinion, the reason we went for early childhood marriage etc. before are that the kick in the hormone is much higher and starts earlier than the maturity level and chances for mistakes are higher. And perhaps starting as arranged partners much younger lets them grow and bond together. But in practice, most ended up as child-parents . And it is a story repeated throughout the world though the marriage may be by so called love and not arranged. Women are the ones paying the price when things go wrong. After all, men gives just microscopic sperms and can, and mostly will, walk away. But women have to carry the child to 38 weeks and need to care for them too. Sure abortion is there but it's effect lingers on women for ever.

Spend a year or two without seeing or chat etc. and see if the love is still there or moves to some one else. Good luck.

 

[prasad1]

That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.

Sir, you have mentioned elsewhere that your children are going to marry whites. Your kasappu towards all tradition, caste etc is understandable. But advice of an old person is taken to be valuable. If some NB guy sees this, he will say "anga brahmin uncles ey sollitanga, apram enna". This is unethical. Dont encourage this. Even if you are totally "chill", we have to live on. Even if we have to watch our own caste go down and diluted, we have to do what we can to save what we can. And like i said, i guess this is natural, and im cool with it too. Maybe weak genes are totally going under the sway of "natural selection". Maybe the only ones that remain are the strong ones... But please dont encourage this ?
[/QUOTE]


You have me mixed with someone else.
Then again can you stop mighty Ganga with your fingers? What is that you are trying to defend is indefensible.
If you stand in the way of Ganga, you will be swept over. I am not stopping anyone from following their own choice. Unlike some others, I am not making the choice for the younger generation.

Please treat the young adult with respect, they are not adult and not a baby.
I am very active in my Temple, Chinmaya Mission, and India society. I deal with young adults from all walks, and all regions of India. I have a much broader perspective.

So my opinions are much more liberal. I want other parents who are losing their children because of this narrow outlook. Let us grow and understand the wide world out there.

 

[Jaykay767]

Agree w Renukaji, this thread has to be moderated first.

It is highly disrespectful to other communities, to bash inter caste marraiges. After bashing them, don't cry, they hate us.

Only 2 points, we can all advise on..

1. Age factor, too young to decide life changing decision.
2. Parents oppostion will make life hell for everyone including her partner and their families.

Rest of the areas, as Renukaji rightly pointed out, people learn to live, adjust, and make a good life.

I have said this earlier, you can feel superior, or have 2 horns, or whatever the heck you want, no one would care (not encouraging anyone to feel superior etc.. ), but do not ever discriminate, be condescending to anyone.

 

[Jaykay767]

High time, the moderators lay down rules on caste discussions as well. Some of the words used are highly abusive and should not be encouraged.

 

[Jaykay767]

Another point I want to bring back to moderators consideration, is that only selected people should be allowed to debate in the "debate section".

Our entire community name gets tarnished when one or two people post such abusive content particularly when it comes to other castes and religions.

Not saying we should not debate these topics, but only selected people should be allowed to debate and they have to strictly adhere by the rules. No abusing, no snide remarks, attacks, etc..

 

[Brahmanyan]

High time, the moderators lay down rules on caste discussions as well. Some of the words used are highly abusive and should not be encouraged.

Agreed fully. This discussion is getting deviated away from the main qestion. Enough is enough. Let us leave the young lady to discuss the matter with her parents and well wishers and take a good decision.
Brahmanyan
Bangalore.

 

[Jaykay767]

One of the most disconcerting issue that I see is that, all social media forums have become platforms to propagate hate, abuse against communites, csstes, religions. And some of the abuses in this thread is totally unacceptable.

I mean, why for the love of God, can people not have an open mind and listen to others view without prejudice and spouting abuses ? I mean, counter the others views by all means, without abusing other communities and posters.

Precisely the reason, I said, don't fill the mind with anger and hatred, it will only harm the person who harbours it.

From Brahmin bashing on this forum, we have now moved to the other extreme of openly posting against Muslims, Christians, and other castes.

The entire country has lost its morals, values, and tolerance, so much for following Hinduism and Vasudaiva kutumbakam !

 

[renuka]

Agree w Renukaji, this thread has to be moderated first.

It is highly disrespectful to other communities, to bash inter caste marraiges. After bashing them, don't cry, they hate us.

Only 2 points, we can all advise on..

1. Age factor, too young to decide life changing decision.
2. Parents oppostion will make life hell for everyone including her partner and their families.

Rest of the areas, as Renukaji rightly pointed out, people learn to live, adjust, and make a good life.

I have said this earlier, you can feel superior, or have 2 horns, or whatever the heck you want, no one would care (not encouraging anyone to feel superior etc.. ), but do not ever discriminate, be condescending to anyone.

JK ji..
Its not about insulting any caste here.
I just felt one post was very insulting to Ms Priyanka.
Whatever said and done no one has the right to character assassinate another human being.

 

[Jaykay767]

JK ji..
Its not about insulting any caste here.
I just felt one post was very insulting to Ms Priyanka.
Whatever said and done no one has the right to character assassinate another human being.

Renukaji,
It is both. By insulting the OP, they are also insulting other castes.
I mean, why shouldn't our next gen marry other castes ? What is so wrong ? That they have to bash the OP so much.

This is what I said in my earlier post, any discussion on such topics of caste, politics, religion, immediately descends into hatred and abuse. One can encourage the OP to marry within the same community without directly or in this case indirectly absuing other communities. and castes.

JK.

 

[renuka]

Renukaji,
It is both. By insulting the OP, they are also insulting other castes.
I mean, why shouldn't our next gen marry other castes ? What is so wrong ? That they have to bash the OP so much.

This is what I said in my earlier post, any discussion on such topics of caste, politics, religion, immediately descends into hatred and abuse. One can encourage the OP to marry within the same community without directly or in this case indirectly absuing other communities. and castes.

JK.

Yes...it was insulting other castes too but that i felt was his opinion becos i have seen videos on FB where other caste insult TBs too.

So i gather that is general behavior seen in TN where there are some issues with each other

Also its very normal male behavior to feel angry when another community male gets their girls becos they feel a woman is their property...but same rules dont apply for males...that is a male can marry anyone!

Like how we see Bollywood movies..Indian guy lovvu Pakistani girl but u wont find movies Pakistani guy and Indian girl! Lol

So some amount of such opinions is understandable if the poster is young.
With time and decline in hormones all of us mature and become more sensible.

 

[hariharan1965]

Priyanka,
It is a life's decision which you are making. So any decision that you are taking you alone would be responsible for that decision. So think a lot before taking any decision.
I am not inclined to give an opinion whether it is good or bad. These are very subjective and entirely personal decision.
I can tell you from the experience that I have seen with some of my friends who have gone for intercaste or interreligion marriages. Some of them have completed more than 25 years of marriage.. Some feel they should not have.. while some take it on their stride.
If you are belong to a very orthodox family and if you are brought up like that, you may find it difficult to adjust initially. As some others have pointed out especially in eating veg/ non veg etc.
Marriage itself is based on compromises. Both the husband and wife come from different families, different ways of upbringing, even if they belong to the same caste. It is not the case all the same caste marriages are successful. Again success of marriage is very subjective.
We need to appreciate that two people from different backgrounds will have differences in every thing. The effort is how to make it a life of happiness by arriving at a consensus.
Earlier days women were not financially independent. So they had to go by whatever their parents said, whether they liked the boy or not for marriage. That doesn't mean that arranged marriages are bad. I am only saying it from point of view of decision making.
The present generation parents are very broad minded and they take life as it comes. One of my friends brought up his daughter as a typical Brahmin girl, learning music, dance and very good at studies, etc. she went to USA and there met an American boy who is a Christian and they are married now and have a child also.
Therefore, there is nothing wrong or right in any decision in life. Only time can tell us whether we went in the right direction or not.
But the point that I want you to realise is that whatever decision you are taking you alone will be responsible as there is no point in blaming others. Having said that, life should be seen in a positive manner and hope that everything will be alright.
Pl discuss frankly with the boy whatever your concerns are regarding life after marriage. After that give some thoughts to yourself, then take a decision. Either way dont take a hasty decision. Give some time to think.
Believe in God ! All the Best ! God Bless!

 

[prasad1]

Hariharanji,
A well written balanced view. Thanks.

 

[hariharan1965]

Hariharanji,
A well written balanced view. Thanks.

thank you sir.

 

[teshil]

Let me make it brief!
1. If you can feel the love of the other person and vice versa, then all problems are solvable for the same reason. Where there is love, there is also respect!!
2. Irrespective of what you feel, it is highly recommended that you learn to stand on your own legs and have the freedom to choose, at all times. Such approach is an insurance policy in case of unexpected change.
3. You should be able to practice your faith and customs if #1 is true.
4. Your children will largely emulate the life that they see around them during their formative years. What they will emulate, therefore, will be in your collective hands.
5. Above all, while we all have the free will, every one who come across and the challenges that we face have reasons that we can't understand fully, in this life.

The most important among the five above, is #2. That will help you to make your decisions work irrespective of whether right or wrong.

I believe that everyone must stand on their own legs; particularly the women so that they can be free.

My 2 cents; good luck!!

 

[Priyanka]

Sow.Priyanka,
If your statements are reviewed, it’s clear that being an Iyengar girl (if brought up in a typical Iyengar culture) you have preferred a BC boy outside your clan. This shows, subconsciously, you are prepared to break the tradition. Ok. If it’s not merely infatuation or gender attraction, and you have good reasons to justify to select the boy, please go ahead. However, your option to take opinions from third party and the boy’s decision that he will marry only if your parents agree (an excellent gesture from him) reveals that some corner both of you are NOT serious about the relation. If so, better quit it. Earlier the better.
Now the problems you both have to face are because of total variation in foods, habits, language (slangs), and inter family relations and rituals.
Of all problems, the food is the sole and main problem. Being a Brahmin if you can prepare non-beg or eat non-veg or sit next to non-veg eating relatives and have no issues of non-veg, excellent. 90% of problems between you two are solved. If not, it’s going to be hell for you, after the shine of love post marriage start vanishing. Next comes, inter and intramural family relations. Some one or the other in either community may prick you on a wrong side and may even defame or give pungent remarks on Brahmins and their age old culture. Yes, you have to digest or swallow it. Else, will become an issue. Also,your parents (if they are strict followers of brahminism) voluntarily never like to share the same dining table or kitchen or Fridge having non-veg and problem comes when they refuse to eat or share food items and start saying today is such and such a day and please avoid xyz.
So, you may have unwilling visits of parents and they may keep silence, not because they agreed your actions but for your family harmony.
Next issue is your children and their food habits. You cannot insist on vegetarian food nor anyone including your BC husband will like to hear you or your parents saying his mother was a Brahmin. Please note: Once you marry outside Brahmin culture - I will not say Caste, you loose your own identity as a Brahmin from the day one of marriage. You are neither a Brahmin or BC to the core of your own self consciousness and for the society. You have to be prepared for such un expressible inner emotional turmoils. This may lead to depression or frustration or self deceptive attitudes, which are not good for one’s life.
Finally, I would like to say & conclude more as an elderly (Sr.Citizen), socially aware & self-experienced, Iyengar Individual than as a highly placed scientist (technocrat and professional), widely travelled throughout India and foreign countries (but very strictly following Iyengar traditions & Culture besides being absolutely true vegetarian, no smoking, no drinks, etc): It’s your life, your preference, your freedom of living, etc. But, remember, Veda says, Brahmin, like Hinduism, is not a caste but a highly refined Culture. It takes centuries and multiple births to acquire a real Brahmin culture. On the contrary, If you, as an Iyengar girl marry a BC or any other less fortunate boy/family to learn Veda and inculcate the best points, rituals and traditions of brahminism to that family than that’s a great achievement and your so called inter-caste marriage becomes a boon of your life.
Please remember, nothing is correct, nothing is wrong, and it all depends on how one visualise one’s own action and reaction. Think twice and whatever you have taken you are only responsible and you should not regret later in life. Please note, hardly few Vedic sages were Brahmin and many became sages “Brahmin” by their deeds and enlightenment. May lord Narayana bless you both for a meaningful divine life ahead, as partners or as individuals. God bless all. V.Rajagopalan.

He does not pressure me at all. He is ready to take veg food also. But he always says me that if your parents dont agree to our love I will never force you and you can take your decisions freely and I will be at your side

 

[Priyanka]

Sow.Priyanka,
If your statements are reviewed, it’s clear that being an Iyengar girl (if brought up in a typical Iyengar culture) you have preferred a BC boy outside your clan. This shows, subconsciously, you are prepared to break the tradition. Ok. If it’s not merely infatuation or gender attraction, and you have good reasons to justify to select the boy, please go ahead. However, your option to take opinions from third party and the boy’s decision that he will marry only if your parents agree (an excellent gesture from him) reveals that some corner both of you are NOT serious about the relation. If so, better quit it. Earlier the better.
Now the problems you both have to face are because of total variation in foods, habits, language (slangs), and inter family relations and rituals.
Of all problems, the food is the sole and main problem. Being a Brahmin if you can prepare non-beg or eat non-veg or sit next to non-veg eating relatives and have no issues of non-veg, excellent. 90% of problems between you two are solved. If not, it’s going to be hell for you, after the shine of love post marriage start vanishing. Next comes, inter and intramural family relations. Some one or the other in either community may prick you on a wrong side and may even defame or give pungent remarks on Brahmins and their age old culture. Yes, you have to digest or swallow it. Else, will become an issue. Also,your parents (if they are strict followers of brahminism) voluntarily never like to share the same dining table or kitchen or Fridge having non-veg and problem comes when they refuse to eat or share food items and start saying today is such and such a day and please avoid xyz.
So, you may have unwilling visits of parents and they may keep silence, not because they agreed your actions but for your family harmony.
Next issue is your children and their food habits. You cannot insist on vegetarian food nor anyone including your BC husband will like to hear you or your parents saying his mother was a Brahmin. Please note: Once you marry outside Brahmin culture - I will not say Caste, you loose your own identity as a Brahmin from the day one of marriage. You are neither a Brahmin or BC to the core of your own self consciousness and for the society. You have to be prepared for such un expressible inner emotional turmoils. This may lead to depression or frustration or self deceptive attitudes, which are not good for one’s life.
Finally, I would like to say & conclude more as an elderly (Sr.Citizen), socially aware & self-experienced, Iyengar Individual than as a highly placed scientist (technocrat and professional), widely travelled throughout India and foreign countries (but very strictly following Iyengar traditions & Culture besides being absolutely true vegetarian, no smoking, no drinks, etc): It’s your life, your preference, your freedom of living, etc. But, remember, Veda says, Brahmin, like Hinduism, is not a caste but a highly refined Culture. It takes centuries and multiple births to acquire a real Brahmin culture. On the contrary, If you, as an Iyengar girl marry a BC or any other less fortunate boy/family to learn Veda and inculcate the best points, rituals and traditions of brahminism to that family than that’s a great achievement and your so called inter-caste marriage becomes a boon of your life.
Please remember, nothing is correct, nothing is wrong, and it all depends on how one visualise one’s own action and reaction. Think twice and whatever you have taken you are only responsible and you should not regret later in life. Please note, hardly few Vedic sages were Brahmin and many became sages “Brahmin” by their deeds and enlightenment. May lord Narayana bless you both for a meaningful divine life ahead, as partners or as individuals. God bless all. V.Rajagopalan.

He is ready to opt veg and that is not his problem. He often says me that I can take decisions on my own and he will never force me. My parents are strict and i am a doctor also may be this might be the reason which I think my parents may not agree

 

[Jaykay767]

Priyanka,

Let me add some points, and this will help clarify your doubts.

1. Marraige is not the "end all" and "be all" of life. So don't spend all the time thinking on this, take a step back and look at overall life goals.

2. Build career, & Read and learn about - Literature, languages, culture, traditions, philosophy, religion, etc.. apart from the core career subjects of enginerring. This will be far more fulfilling in your life. Career will ensure you are financially independent and also support the fsmily if by chance, your husband loses his job at some point in life.

3. Assess every decision with pros and cons analysis. You should assess whether you want to marry at 21 yrs even before building a career. Read about people who married very young and regretted, understand the pros and cons.

4. Experience is irreplaceable - so take the inputs from seniors, don't disregard them. for eg, most people particularly those who come from orthodox or fairly religious conservative middle class families will turn to religion in a big way after 40 yrs, sometimes even earlier. At this time, people will regret choosing the wrong partners. Not specific to intercaste marrwiges. Even within community, if you marry an atheist and you turn religious at 40 yrs, you will regret the marraige everyday. Bad marriages do not start as bad, it all starts with love and hope, which turn slowly into a disaster if ideologies, interests, hobbies, careers do not match or do not complement.

5. Children - unfortunately, the biggest impact of inter caste marriages is on children. They will want to marry only with Tamil Brahmins, and most of them will reject the alliances. So in your 40s and 50s you and your partner, both will regret the marraige, seeing your kids suffer.

6. Age 21 yrs is not the time to make any decison that is life long. You will not have the experience to choose the the right life partner whether inter caste or within tambrams. And while divorce is always an option, remember it is not easy and will leave a lot of people upset, will be a painful process for you.

5. Ideologies - you seem to be a smart liberal inclusive girl, and open minded to take advise from others, so you definitely don't want to be married to a "Sanghi family" who will keep spouting anti Muslim hatred day in and day out. Your life will become hell listening to all that negative stuff. Trust me, you are living a great life now, studying, learning and staying in a protective environment with your parents. If you get into a bad marraige, it is all over. You will have to run day and night.

Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing or no one in life, that is worth rushing for and dying for. Not even when someone gives you a billion dollar, because you don't know what problems that money will bring. So take it easy, spend time with friends, and build a career, forget about love stuff for a few years.

 

[tbs]

Priyanka,

Let me add some points, and this will help clarify your doubts.

1. Marraige is not the "end all" and "be all" of life. So don't spend all the time thinking on this, take a step back and look at overall life goals.

2. Build career, & Read and learn about - Literature, languages, culture, traditions, philosophy, religion, etc.. apart from the core career subjects of enginerring. This will be far more fulfilling in your life. Career will ensure you are financially independent and also support the fsmily if by chance, your husband loses his job at some point in life.

3. Assess every decision with pros and cons analysis. You should assess whether you want to marry at 21 yrs even before building a career. Read about people who married very young and regretted, understand the pros and cons.

4. Experience is irreplaceable - so take the inputs from seniors, don't disregard them. for eg, most people particularly those who come from orthodox or fairly religious conservative middle class families will turn to religion in a big way after 40 yrs, sometimes even earlier. At this time, people will regret choosing the wrong partners. Not specific to intercaste marrwiges. Even within community, if you marry an atheist and you turn religious at 40 yrs, you will regret the marraige everyday. Bad marriages do not start as bad, it all starts with love and hope, which turn slowly into a disaster if ideologies, interests, hobbies, careers do not match or do not complement.

5. Children - unfortunately, the biggest impact of inter caste marriages is on children. They will want to marry only with Tamil Brahmins, and most of them will reject the alliances. So in your 40s and 50s you and your partner, both will regret the marraige, seeing your kids suffer.

6. Age 21 yrs is not the time to make any decison that is life long. You will not have the experience to choose the the right life partner whether inter caste or within tambrams. And while divorce is always an option, remember it is not easy and will leave a lot of people upset, will be a painful process for you.

5. Ideologies - you seem to be a smart liberal inclusive girl, and open minded to take advise from others, so you definitely don't want to be married to a "Sanghi family" who will keep spouting anti Muslim hatred day in and day out. Your life will become hell listening to all that negative stuff. Trust me, you are living a great life now, studying, learning and staying in a protective environment with your parents. If you get into a bad marraige, it is all over. You will have to run day and night.

Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing or no one in life, that is worth rushing for and dying for. Not even when someone gives you a billion dollar, because you don't know what problems that money will bring. So take it easy, spend time with friends, and build a career, forget about love stuff for a few years.

hi


5. Children - unfortunately, the biggest impact of inter caste marriages is on children. They will want to marry only with Tamil Brahmins, and most of them will reject the alliances. So in your 40s and 50s you and your partner, both will regret the marraige, seeing your kids suffer.

6. Age 21 yrs is not the time to make any decison that is life long. You will not have the experience to choose the the right life partner whether inter caste or within tambrams. And while divorce is always an option, remember it is not easy and will leave a lot of people upset, will be a painful process for you.




i agreed with u sir...nice words.......probably everything is in an experience point of view...

 

[renuka]

Dear Priyanka,

Since you are a doctor, it would be easier for me to explain.
The human brain as you know is very much under the influence of the endrocrinal system and nature designs us for continuation of species.

So somehow we gravitate towards choosing mates for the purpose of reproduction.

Some of us choose a mate ourselves or chosen by family etc...that is the only difference.

When we choose a mate ourselves there is more endorphin release and the brain feels the effect of attraction and its a intoxicating feeling...Deva and Devis have love marriage somehow...none of them had arranged marriage...only to depict that creative forces are finally in our hands.

Now...in an arranged marriage endorphin release is also there but since there is a sense of security it could go into oxytocin phase of security a little faster becos the environment is a little safer since the odds for differences is less.

Now when one is older having hit andropause and menopause then one realizes in the game of nature we humans bonded for a reason to procreate..to bond..nurture..guide the younger generation and then exit the world.

Now this process can happen between any two individuals and the love as in attraction need not even be a criteria.

To be honest , the guy whom you like is a tad bit more aware of this fact than you cos he has mentally prepared himself for a No from your parents.

He is a practical person who doesnt want to see himself plunge into a depression if your parents say No.

Then there is you who is having doubts too...but may be being young and the idea of love feels refreshing too.

I feel both of you are just fearful and not really willing to face the harsh reality.

Its not that an inter caste marriage doesnt work out....it does..many intercaste marriages work out if the mind set is a less binding one where one can rise above the external differences and not hold on to external as the identity and function as " I am a human " format and not " i am a Varna" format...but sadly its not very possible in India as much as its possible in other countries.

Final diagnosis : its easier to find a vaccine for Covid -19 than trying to find a solution for an intercaste marriage in India.

Treatment : Put a mask on your feelings and marry your own kind.

 

[mr.gokul]

Treatment : Put a mask on your feelings and marry your own kind.

Objection your honor, ma'am. This is popular advice, and I don't like it. Why does marrying your own kind have to be a 'sacrifice'? Why does someone have to bury their feelings and marry into one's own caste half heartedly? Why doesn't nobody point out that this is not "love", but simple, plain old lust?? This word 'love' has been deeply sullied and excessively romanticized, precisely for more of these scenarios to happen. What happens between two hormonal teenagers or two young adults is not love. It's only lust. Love can happen at any age, between anyone, even animals.

It's really sad to see that Brahmins are totally totally clueless about this. Tamil society harasses Brahmin men and glorifies non Brahmin men, thereby encouraging more of these things to happen. Showing Brahmin men as weak, cunning people, and other nb men as tough, humble people with positive attributes. If you notice all the movies, the parents and menfolk of the girl are shown as comedy characters. I'm sure she or her father are also TOTALLY ignorant about the surge of deep anti-brahmin hatred in tamilnadu in recent times. If she knew what brahmin men have to go through, she wouldn't have asked this question.

I'm not a doctor,but I can try to give a doctor-ish response from Google. A Woman has to protected by the menfolk of her clan. Period. Lack of that creates shamelessness in women. Y-chromosome comes only from males. All the nb's of society are conspiring to create a condition that is favorable for upper caste women to "fall in love" with lower caste men, getting the better genes for themselves. The very sense of shame in a girl's mind is imparted only by the males. EVERY ONE does this except Brahmins. In the மெதப்பு of being progressive.

If I'm harsh, excuse me, but I'm so concerned because im also Iyengar, and I'm aware of these things. If anybody is hurt, உங்க மனசு புண்படும்னு பாத்துட்ருந்தா நாங்க தலை ல துண்டு போட்டுக்க வேண்டியது தான்.

 

[tbs]

hi priyanka,

my daughter is also doctor and also marrying a WHITE AMERICAN BOY....but she is more than 30 yrs old...

i may not be OK.....but in USA...its very common...same advice to her also...she is very independent

decision maker...

 

[tbs]

hi priyanka,

my daughter is also doctor and also marrying a WHITE AMERICAN BOY....but she is more than 30 yrs old...

i may not be OK.....but in USA...its very common...same advice to her also...she is very independent

decision maker...

hi

just info...THE BOY IS CHRISTIAN....so inter religion marriage...

 

[renuka]

hi priyanka,

my daughter is also doctor and also marrying a WHITE AMERICAN BOY....but she is more than 30 yrs old...

i may not be OK.....but in USA...its very common...same advice to her also...she is very independent

decision maker...

if the groom is an african american or hispanic or asian or a muslim white guy or arab ? what would be your reaction?LOL