Is the Community digging its own grave

[sangom]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

Dear Shri Prasad,

I have read all the posts after last night. You tried to broker a truce. But now you can see the venom and hatred which is being spewed by our Brahminist friends against those who they perceive as Brahmin Bashers.

It is relevant in this connection to mention that till some time ago, I was also against IC/IR marriages and Shri Kunjuppu and myself have had heated discussions on this point also. But slowly I have come to understand the thought processes and feelings of girls (daughters) born and brought up in our so-called orthodox tabra families who claim in some fashion or the other, that they are holding the ancient "brahmin culture" burning bright. I do not want to elaborate because I am sure it will lead to another bout of nasty posts here. But now I am somewhat sure that more and more tabra girls will select non-tabra boys, insist on marrying that boy, and eventually compel, like an animal trainer, their parents to fall in line.

My only point was that we should become aware of this new trend and that there is no point in holding on to some imagined "ancient brahmin culture" and its magnificence - though the people appearing as most concerned about this, in this forum, may not even know the meaning of one full mantra or sloka correctly, nor even the sandhyavandanam, samidaadhaanam, oupaasanam, vaisvadevam, etc., which are compulsory brahmin daily routines - about which our tabra parents are unable to convince even their own daughters once they get exposed to the outside world; else, they might themselves be IC/IR married or progeny of such marriages and trying to hide their origins.

The most pernicious and venomous was the performance of vaagmi, the new entrant about whose sudden appearance I have my own theory. I have nothing more to say and am prepared to quit this thread, but with the warning that within foreseeable future all this talk of protecting brahmin culture, culture modified brahmin genes etc., will completely vanish.

If we want to maintain a group which will identify itself, at least reluctantly, as brahmin or tamil brahmin, better we try to be "inclusive", i.e., accept IC/IR marriages whenever and wherever they happen and bring those offsprings also under the umbrella of brahmins. If we fail to do that, we will perish.

This is not the first time this problem is discussed in this forum. I give the following as my epilogue:

“It would pain me and, of course, it would pain others, if I should treat fully of all the makeshifts and devices whereby the Brahmanas of today attempt to preserve their totally undeserved claim for ‘spiritual superiority.’ Now that India is really awakening to a New Age, it will be well for my Brahmana countrymen if they voluntarily relinquish all their old pretensions together with the silly and anti-national customs based on such pretensions, and lead the way for the establishment of liberty, equality and fraternity among the Indians.”

Subramania Bharati’s letter to the editor of New India, May 11, 1915.

Now our Brahminist group can attack Subramania Bharati's soul, if they can and want to do so.

Adieu!!

 

[vgane]

1. Without getting into mutual acrimony into the past posts of Sangom, I liked one suggestion put forth by him for Tambrhm couples to go for minimum 3 child norm in case they can financially afford ...For this the entire family has to support...It is worth a try

2. I would like to add that a typical TamBrahm marriage happens when the girl is of 25 years and the boy is between 28-30 years...Preponing marriage by 3-5 years will also help them as our boys are financially independent within 2-3 years of getting a job...ie by 25 years the boy is well settled & can go for a family

3. Every family who has 3 or more children should consider the option of sending 1 child to a religious matam or Hindu organisation (may be Ramakrishna Math or Swamy Chinmayanandha Math) to inculcate /imbibe Hindu traditions/values & culture

4. We should dialogue with our grown up children that they should atleast marry into a Brahmin family (If they are not agreeing for Marriage in the traditional manner)

5. In the case of Marwari families, in case the boy marries Inter caste, then he is not given a penny from the estate by the Parents...This is another Financial deterrent for the children...This is another suggestion that we can consider

 

[Vaagmi]

Sangom's post #626:

It is relevant in this connection to mention that till some time ago, I was also against IC/IR marriages and Shri Kunjuppu and myself have had heated discussions on this point also. But slowly I have come to understand the thought processes and feelings of girls (daughters) born and brought up in our so-called orthodox tabra families who claim in some fashion or the other, that they are holding the ancient "brahmin culture" burning bright. I do not want to elaborate because I am sure it will lead to another bout of nasty posts here. But now I am somewhat sure that more and more tabra girls will select non-tabra boys, insist on marrying that boy, and eventually compel, like an animal trainer, their parents to fall in line.

The thought processes that were understood by you were given by you in 10 points earlier and it was shown that those perceptions were either wrong or were wrongly interpreted by you. You even went to the extent of saying that there is a seething discontent among the TB girls and they are all virtually on the point of raising a revolt banner. The members here know that there is no such thing in the community. Those who go and insist on the Ic/IR marriages are all girls who are either immature or ill-advised. Even if they go that way it will just be good riddance. The community will that much be better off. There is no use wailing over the departure of such stupid girls.

My only point was that we should become aware of this new trend and that there is no point in holding on to some imagined "ancient brahmin culture" and its magnificence - though the people most concerned about this may not even know the meaning of one full mantra or sloka correctly, nor even the sandhyavandanam, samidaadhaanam, oupaasanam, vaisvadevam, etc., which are compulsory brahmin daily routines - about which our tabra parents are unable to convince even their own daughters once they get exposed to the outside world.

This trend has been in existence for many years and not something new. Because these IC/IR marriages just happen, there is no need to accept them as good. The community should always treat such marriages as second rated ones. Accepting them as equal to or better than SC/SR marriages will be the death knell for the community. Brahmin boys who do not know sandhyavandanam, samithadanam, oupaasanam, vaiswadeyam etc., need not feel hopelessly lost. It is enough if they keep the faith that these are not meaningless rituals, that these are pregnant with meaning etc., When the years pass they will find time to go for them again and rediscover the good in them. It would be ideal if TB parents spend a lot of time in conversation with their children about our faith and its systems along with other worldly matters like movies, fashion, money, job, investments, future etc.,

The most pernicious and venomous was the performance of vaagmi, the new entrant about whose sudden appearance I have my own theory. I have nothing more to say and am prepared to quit this thread, but with the warning that within foreseeable future all this talk of protecting brahmin culture, culture modified brahmin genes etc., will completely vanish.

Please do not theorize too much. You have already ended up in many knots. You will be adding to you confusion further. Talk of all these may stop when the need for it stops. But the culture, culture modified genes will be there for ever. Until perhaps the next pralaya. So your fond wish or curse(?) may not affect the brahmin culture or the genes.

If we want to maintain a group which will identify itself, at least reluctantly, as brahmin or tamil brahmin, better we try to be "inclusive", i.e., accept IC/IR marriages whenever and wherever they happen and bring those offsprings also under the umbrella of brahmins. If we fail to do that, we will perish.

These are things that just happen. There is no need for a seal of approval for them. When you insist on that seal of approval you are asking for the community to crawl. The next step will be for the community to do a harakiri and disappear.

This is not the first time this problem is discussed in this forum. I give the following as my epilogue:
“It would pain me and, of course, it would pain others, if I should treat fully of all the makeshifts and devices whereby the Brahmanas of today attempt to preserve their totally undeserved claim for ‘spiritual superiority.’ Now that India is really awakening to a New Age, it will be well for my Brahmana countrymen if they voluntarily relinquish all their old pretensions together with the silly and anti-national customs based on such pretensions, and lead the way for the establishment of liberty, equality and fraternity among the Indians.”
Subramania Bharati’s letter to the editor of New India, May 11, 1915.

I have a lot of respect for Bharathi for his spirit of freedom, his poetic skills of language, and his relentless fight against the british raj. But he was also an unfortunate poor soul which could not come to terms with itself. Thus it went looking for mind expansion with psychotropic substances and became hooked to these substances for a long time. The result was a very awakened soul inside a poorly maintained body. So I take some of his words with a liberal pinch of salt. In this quoted para, he starts with a wrong presumption and uses the terms liberty, equality and fraternity in a archaic cliche. A separate discussion will be needed to sort out what exactly he is talking about. It is certainly not what you think you have understood.

Thanks.

 

[vgane]

Vaagmiji, Saragji, Zebraji, kbji, and Raviji &
Sangomji, Naraji, and kunjuji

Can we call it as a draw ans a truce? Please at least on this subject.

Naraji proposed a solution for the the dwindling TB community to preserve their traditions.
Let us practice it.
None of us can do it all. After all the efforts just accept the results.

Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana - You have the right to perform your actions,but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions.Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani – Do not let the fruit be the purpose of your actions, and therefore you won’t be attached to not doing your duty.

How simple and how relevant even today.I think if Bhagavadgeetha is universally renowned as the jewel of India's spiritual wisdom , its because of Karma Yoga.You rarely find spiritual books/Gurus laying emphasis on doing your work.
Thats exactly what Krishna says here.Always do your best without expecting the results and you will be happy.

Dear Shri Prasad,

As I read your post, my thoughts are as follows:

Have we reached the End of the discussions?

Or is this the Beginning?

May be we have reached the End of the Beginning!

There is much more to discuss...Let us not abruptly close this

 

[sangom]

1. Without getting into mutual acrimony into the past posts of Sangom, I liked one suggestion put forth by him for Tambrhm couples to go for minimum 3 child norm in case they can financially afford ...For this the entire family has to support...It is worth a try

2. I would like to add that a typical TamBrahm marriage happens when the girl is of 25 years and the boy is between 28-30 years...Preponing marriage by 3-5 years will also help them as our boys are financially independent within 2-3 years of getting a job...ie by 25 years the boy is well settled & can go for a family

3. Every family who has 3 or more children should consider the option of sending 1 child to a religious matam or Hindu organisation (may be Ramakrishna Math or Swamy Chinmayanandha Math) to inculcate /imbibe Hindu traditions/values & culture

4. We should dialogue with our grown up children that they should atleast marry into a Brahmin family (If they are not agreeing for Marriage in the traditional manner)

5. In the case of Marwari families, in case the boy marries Inter caste, then he is not given a penny from the estate by the Parents...This is another Financial deterrent for the children...This is another suggestion that we can consider

Dear Shri Gane,

First I owe an apology to Shri Prasad for continuing to post under this thread, though I thought this thread had ended and wrote my adieu.

I do not think your suggestions at point 2 and 3 above can be put into practice in the present times. Firstly, just as a boy gets his first good placement by about the age of 23 or 24, the girls also get equally good or even better remunerative jobs at the same age. And if you are tracking today's matrimonial trends, tabra girls put forward many stipulations regarding the boy they will marry which includes a very high salary. The girls are unwilling to relax any of their conditions till they come to 30 years of age, by which time they are able to secure - at least in some cases - a young tabra or other caste man earning as high as they expect. Hence, AFA arranged marriages or marriages through matrimonials are concerned, it is rather rare for tabra girls to get married at 23 to 25 years, or even at 28.

Regarding point #3, it is well-known that the parents of boys and girls in the marriageable age group have practically no solid grounding in our traditional culture, mantras, daily routine and least of all about our scriptures. We tabras have left the brahmin way of life three or four generations ago and have been compromising with it, in order to earn more incomes and to enjoy material comforts as much as possible, in imitation of the Britishers during their rule and, of late, the westerners from both Europe and the US. So, if a couple has 3 sons and one of the sons is sent to the matam/RK mission/Chinmaya Mission, that boy's future will irretrievably be compromised and this will have lethal effects in the very tabra family system within the next generation (say, 25 years) itself. It is therefore impractical and dangerous to even consider this suggestion.

Secondly, all these Mutts etc., do keep the young children engaged for a few hours, but even today, none of them have devised any workable model in which the doubts and questions of these young intellects/minds can be answered rationally so that these youngsters get really convinced that the religious lore, legends, etc., which are taught to them in these Missions, has the same level of credibility as the matters of science and current affairs taught in their schools. The result has been that many such youngsters from Tabra families turn completely antithetical to religion itself during their late teen years and go irreligious by the time they go to college hostels and then secure jobs in India or abroad. I have two such youngsters who can possibly convince you that hinduism, brahmin culture, etc., are simply irrelevant to Man.

Point #5: unless it is self-acquired asset/s such a discrimination is unlawful today among any Indian community, including the Marwadis. Same applies to our tabras also. But we are, by and large, unlike the Marwadis. In many tabra families today, the parents are poorer as compared to the children who have gone up financially in spectacular ways thanks to the IT sector. Even the assets of the father/parents is in many cases acquired through the remittances made by the sons/daughters. In that sense there are very few cases of self-acquired assets. And, even if the son or daughter is refused a share of this asset, they may care two hoots because they will be earning in lakhs pm. But there are several tabra parents who will crumble down, unable to maintain their glossy life style if the kids stop sending them moneys.

Hope you will look around more into the lower echelons of tabra society also and find out whether my assessments are factual. Thank you,

 

[prasad1]

Dear Prasad,

You may be correct that nothing useful might come out of these discussions on history. It is just that when one often sees selective analysis or twisting of history to demonize our community, it is tough not to respond. It is hard to believe this is being done for the benefit of our community.

I have said this before. I am mostly interested in current affairs only. My worries are just that of common-man brahmin and are of secular issues - corruption, communal discrimination etc. Therefore, I have no problem moving on. However, I have noticed that there is not much interest in this forum to discuss these issues. As you rightly pointed out, some of the members here are comfortably settled abroad and are oblivious to the problems faced by Brahmins in India. That could be one of the reasons. Even if and when these are discussed, the discussions veer down the same path - the blame goes from religion to caste to brahminism to Brahmin. So the truce you have brokered will not last long, unless of course some of us completely shut shop, which could happen in my case at least...

I am with you 100%. I too worry about India, and Indians.
My attempt (failed?) was to call a truce on this subject of Caste based blame game.
I would not want you to "shut Shop", on the contrary I want your input in other threads.
Thank you sir.

 

[prasad1]

Sri Prasadji,

I have written about 10 posts in this thread and almost 8 of them were addressed to Sri Nara and there was absolutely no acrimony in any of them. All the posts were tangential and not much connected with the topic on hand, I admit.

I have never participated in any of IC/IR threads since my joining because i know that ultimately we have to accede to the desire of our child/children and in fact in one of the posts to Sri Nara I had mentioned this. I am reminded of the old tamil song "pettavan maname pittamma, piLLayin maname kallamma"

Yes let us move on to the other topics by all means. Actually my entry into this thread was a sort of obituary after this thread almost died down somewhere in the last week of July, but this thread suddenly developed a life of its own.

Thank you for the conciliatory efforts.

Regards

Thank you sir.

 

[prasad1]

Dear Shri Prasad,



“It would pain me and, of course, it would pain others, if I should treat fully of all the makeshifts and devices whereby the Brahmanas of today attempt to preserve their totally undeserved claim for ‘spiritual superiority.’ Now that India is really awakening to a New Age, it will be well for my Brahmana countrymen if they voluntarily relinquish all their old pretensions together with the silly and anti-national customs based on such pretensions, and lead the way for the establishment of liberty, equality and fraternity among the Indians.”

Subramania Bharati’s letter to the editor of New India, May 11, 1915.


Adieu!!

I am thrilled to be bracketed with such a great luminary.
Please please please do not wish Adieu.
I like to butt head with you on occasion, but admire your knowledge, and contribution to the site.

 

[prasad1]

1. Without getting into mutual acrimony into the past posts of Sangom, I liked one suggestion put forth by him for Tambrhm couples to go for minimum 3 child norm in case they can financially afford ...For this the entire family has to support...It is worth a try

2. I would like to add that a typical TamBrahm marriage happens when the girl is of 25 years and the boy is between 28-30 years...Preponing marriage by 3-5 years will also help them as our boys are financially independent within 2-3 years of getting a job...ie by 25 years the boy is well settled & can go for a family

3. Every family who has 3 or more children should consider the option of sending 1 child to a religious matam or Hindu organisation (may be Ramakrishna Math or Swamy Chinmayanandha Math) to inculcate /imbibe Hindu traditions/values & culture

4. We should dialogue with our grown up children that they should atleast marry into a Brahmin family (If they are not agreeing for Marriage in the traditional manner)

5. In the case of Marwari families, in case the boy marries Inter caste, then he is not given a penny from the estate by the Parents...This is another Financial deterrent for the children...This is another suggestion that we can consider

Sir,
Can I ask you a personal question? How many children do you have? Which child did you send to Matham to study? How is their personal finance?
I do not know, nor do I care about the castes of Marvari families.
I have a feeling that you have not followed any of your suggestions.
Your suggestion will lead to Brahmin family breaking up. If life decision, and financial decision are made on your guideline, family members will end up in court, disputing the will, and no one will even remember you. I am deeply disappointed.

 

[kunjuppu]

[video=youtube;LJr6FknZhpM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJr6FknZhpM[/video]

here is kumbaya to all of you and us.

 

[prasad1]

Dear Shri Prasad,

As I read your post, my thoughts are as follows:

Have we reached the End of the discussions?

Or is this the Beginning?

May be we have reached the End of the Beginning!

There is much more to discuss...Let us not abruptly close this

Sir I did not close the thread (I am just a member not the administrator, or moderator). It was a suggestion (now looks like failed) to move on to other topic as this caste blame is not going anywhere.
But seeing the postings in this thread, I have withdrawn my offer of a truce. So please carry on.

 

[kunjuppu]

1. Without getting into mutual acrimony into the past posts of Sangom, I liked one suggestion put forth by him for Tambrhm couples to go for minimum 3 child norm in case they can financially afford ...For this the entire family has to support...It is worth a try

2. I would like to add that a typical TamBrahm marriage happens when the girl is of 25 years and the boy is between 28-30 years...Preponing marriage by 3-5 years will also help them as our boys are financially independent within 2-3 years of getting a job...ie by 25 years the boy is well settled & can go for a family

3. Every family who has 3 or more children should consider the option of sending 1 child to a religious matam or Hindu organisation (may be Ramakrishna Math or Swamy Chinmayanandha Math) to inculcate /imbibe Hindu traditions/values & culture

4. We should dialogue with our grown up children that they should atleast marry into a Brahmin family (If they are not agreeing for Marriage in the traditional manner)

5. In the case of Marwari families, in case the boy marries Inter caste, then he is not given a penny from the estate by the Parents...This is another Financial deterrent for the children...This is another suggestion that we can consider

vgane and 2 members who liked it,

did you practise this yourselves or in your family?

i think the ideas are unworkable because they discriminate against the child who is send to a religious school, and also 'excommunicating' is illegal in today's indian hindu law. the law infact says, even if the child converts to another religion, you cannot disown re property inheritance.

i think each one of us, as they face the situations in life, will muddle along to our satisfaction. no standard formula is applicable. any more. atleast that is what i think.

 

[praveen]

Dear Mr.Praveen,

Kindly clarify if Prasad has been appointed by you as an authority to instruct / command / order as a police here to control the members from posting their views/counter views? And as such, IF he has the liberty and privileges to take such a spot shot on a member if he finds a member not heeding to his requests?

The tone of the above post that reflects the poster's leadership and arrogance gives an impression that he is either the appointed agent here to carry out the policing job or he is a defacto owner of this Site.

Kindly clarify so that we can do our best to adhere to the rules of the game here.

Thank you.

After reading through the posts i am at a loss to understand why this post was made in the first place. There was nothing from Prasad which, even remotely, looked like an "instruction / comman / order" and tried to "control" the other members from posting their views.

Please do not misunderstand the posts and jump to conclusions.

All i can say is the post that i have quoted in this reply is completely a misunderstanding and is not at all warranted for.

We are all adults and we need to act/behave like a grown-up.

 

[praveen]

To others,

If this thread has served its purpose, please let me know and i will close it.

 

[kunjuppu]

We are all adults and we need to act/behave like a grown-up.

hilarious praveen!!!

 

[prasad1]

vgane and 2 members who liked it,

did you practise this yourselves or in your family?

i think the ideas are unworkable because they discriminate against the child who is send to a religious school, and also 'excommunicating' is illegal in today's indian hindu law. the law infact says, even if the child converts to another religion, you cannot disown re property inheritance.

i think each one of us, as they face the situations in life, will muddle along to our satisfaction. no standard formula is applicable. any more. atleast that is what i think.

Mr. K, is right.
According to the Hindu Law of inheritance:

Any person who commits murder is disqualified from receiving any form of inheritance from the victim.


If a relative converts from Hinduism, he or she is still eligible for inheritance.

 

[Vaagmi]

To others,

If this thread has served its purpose, please let me know and i will close it.

I agree. It is time this thread is closed.

 

[sravna]

Dear Shri Praveen,

I do not think the thread has served its purpose yet. The problem and cause have been discussed at some length though of course there have been a number of diversions. I think the solutions from those who see it as problem need to be discussed in greater depth. We will also then know whether any solution is viable at all and if viable what steps need to be taken to realize it?

 

[zebra16]

Here is a new fodder for all the guys who were active in this thread

Caste bar on marriages became entrenched 2000 years ago, genetic study finds - The Times of India

Perhaps, a new thread may be? LOL

 

[sangom]

Here is a new fodder for all the guys who were active in this forum.

Caste bar on marriages became entrenched 2000 years ago, genetic study finds - The Times of India

Perhaps, a new thread may be? LOL

If some member can get a copy and see the relative position, chronologically, of brahmins vis-a-vis other groups which were studied, it will be helpful to find whose culturally purified genes are older. Shri Nara and Palindrome may be able to secure the issue of AJHG.

 

[vgane]

vgane and 2 members who liked it,

did you practise this yourselves or in your family?

i think the ideas are unworkable because they discriminate against the child who is send to a religious school, and also 'excommunicating' is illegal in today's indian hindu law. the law infact says, even if the child converts to another religion, you cannot disown re property inheritance.

i think each one of us, as they face the situations in life, will muddle along to our satisfaction. no standard formula is applicable. any more. atleast that is what i think.

Iin case your child goes away from you on his or her own volition and chooses partner on his or her own accord then you can decide to leave a will stating that the wealth earned by you (not hereditary) can be distributed without giving a penny to the person who has run away...This was done in some known cases and the will is also registered...This is completely legal

I think sitting in US you do not appreciate or empathize with the Tambrahm parents in Tamil Nadu toiling in dificult circumstances to educate their kid who give 2 hoots to the parents and choose a partner (IC/IR)..

I gave the example of Marwari (Vaishya) community as I have interacted with several of them

 

[C RAVI]

After reading through the posts i am at a loss to understand why this post was made in the first place. There was nothing from Prasad which, even remotely, looked like an "instruction / comman / order" and tried to "control" the other members from posting their views.

Please do not misunderstand the posts and jump to conclusions.

All i can say is the post that i have quoted in this reply is completely a misunderstanding and is not at all warranted for.

We are all adults and we need to act/behave like a grown-up.

Dear Mr.Praveen,


You are finding my post irrelevant, unwarranted, jumping to wrong conclusions, outcome of misunderstanding and utter childish. And, I am not clear if Shri Kunjuppu is agreeing with your observations on me OR he is finding your observations on me as Hilarious?

If you say my post was childish and unwarranted, kindly let me know how matured and fair are the below highlighted statements by Prasad, personally mocking at me that you could find as the most warranted, sensible, appreciable and highly matured..

Ravi you know what you are.
If I call you that name I will be banned, so I am not going to call you that. In addition to being young you are ..........

I called for a truce not a surrender, but then again you are not capable of understanding that.

The above post of Prasad clearly represents his anger and outburst on me for not heeding to his call for truce and making my post.

How many members have accepted his call for truce and have put an end to this debate? Why he is picking up on me and making such a vengeful personal comment on me? How can you justify his post against me as Most Rational, Most Warranted and Most Matured?

I am terribly disappointed!!

 

[sangom]

Iin case your child goes away from you on his or her own volition and chooses partner on his or her own accord then you can decide to leave a will stating that the wealth earned by you (not hereditary) can be distributed without giving a penny to the person who has run away...This was done in some known cases and the will is also registered...This is completely legal

I think sitting in US you do not appreciate or empathize with the Tambrahm parents in Tamil Nadu toiling in dificult circumstances to educate their kid who give 2 hoots to the parents and choose a partner (IC/IR)..

I gave the example of Marwari (Vaishya) community as I have interacted with several of them

Dear Shri Gane,

FYI, I am living in India and not anywhere abroad. One of my distant relative's (tabra, of course and now aged around 80 or so years) only daughter, a highly paid software engineer could not be married due to horoscope matching problems for some years. The girl chose (fell in love? I don't know) a Scheduled caste man, her colleague, informed her parents that she was marrying him by means of a civil marriage. The father, an orthodox tabra of my generation, could not bear this news and immediately threw his daughter out of the house. She took a room in a local hotel, got married as scheduled and went to live with her husband in Trivandrum itself in a flat.

This father-daughter enmity went on for a few years during which the father wanted to disinherit his daughter of the house property and bequeath it to his brother's son who it was hoped, would also do anthyeshti for the couple (periyappa & periyammai). The news somehow leaked to the daughter who promptly sent a lawyer's notice stating that her moneys had been utilized in acquiring the plot, building the bungalow and also maintaining it from time to time and so, if there is any scheme for disinheriting her, she would file a criminal complaint and get her parents, chithappa's family, the document writer, etc., implicated and also claim one crore of rupees as compensation for loss of her prestige plus return of all the moneys taken by her father with court interest (this principal amount was shown as some 70 lakhs) and she claimed that she had all the bank records to prove her case. (I came to know of such details because this old man's nephew is a friend whose daughter loved a Nadar Christian boy and, after initially trying to talk her out of that alliance failed, my friend and his wife agreed to that marriage in a church, etc.) The old father simply had to drop his vengeful idea. After a year or so of this episode, the daughter got pregnant, the mother disregarded her husband's order not to have any contact with the daughter and went to help her during her days of morning sickness, and later during delivery, etc. Today the daughter, her husband and their child are living with her parents in her flat!!

That is how the reality of the world is. I am giving you this true incident so that you as also all readers will think of the many aspects of emotional decisions and their practicability in the real situations of the society and the laws governing us today.

 

[sangom]

I am attaching a pdf file relating to paucity of girls among Kannada Brahmins and how they are now coming to terms with IC marriages for their boys. The head of one of their mutts accepts it and agrees that caste purity cannot be maintained any longer. Kindly read.

 

[Nara]

...How many members have accepted his call for truce and have put an end to this debate? Why he is picking up on me and making such a vengeful personal comment on me? How can you justify his post against me as Most Rational, Most Warranted and Most Matured?

I am terribly disappointed!!

Ravi, just a couple of days back you justified your smiley face for a post that I thought was insulting and mocking. Now that the shoe is on the other foot you are "terribly disappointed". We all tend to be blind to the offence we give and manage to acquire 20/20 vision to take offence. I wish you will think about that instead of offering justifications to me.

BTW, please take a look at who have refused to sign on to prasad1's truce suggestions and that would show you who the initiators of ill will in this forum are.

Thank you ....