Kadalikka Neramillai Kadalippar Yarumillai

[tbs]

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Greetings.

I noticed some of the members have expressed about their "failure" in love affair. There is no such thing as "failure" in love affair.

All love affairs are successful. Most people don't seem to realise it.


hi raghy sir,
like operation succced but patient died....like love succceded....but with other girl...not with lover....so this happens in many places..NOT EVERYBODY IS LUCKY...LIKE URS....

 

[renuka]

hi raghy sir,
like operation succced but patient died....like love succceded....but with other girl...not with lover....so this happens in many places..NOT EVERYBODY IS LUCKY...LIKE URS....

Dear TBS Garu,

I feel many of us are missing the point here...the common thought is Love has to culminate into marriage.

But technically speaking what has love got to do with marriage?

From the varios shlokas of the Love Mahabharat Geeta Parva written by members here in this thread..it surely seems like a despondent warrior not willing to face the battle of love.


Love is a game..play it..don't think too much of the fruits of your action.
That is not in your hands.


Marriage has nothing to do with love cos many of members here are echoing sentiments that they did not experince love before marriage.

Many members were overcome by compassion/fear of the highest kind... not willing to fight for their love....letting their bow and arrows of love slip down from their hands and sit despondently.

All I can say is "where did this weakness come all of a sudden in the moment of need..stand up..arise and fight for your love..abandon this state of mind..fear not that love should end in marriage for Love and Marriage need not go hand in hand..the Victor in Love is the person who fell in love and enjoyed the feeling of Love..he is the True Lover"

 

[sangom]

Dear TBS Garu,

I feel many of us are missing the point here...the common thought is Love has to culminate into marriage.

But technically speaking what has love got to do with marriage?

From the varios shlokas of the Love Mahabharat Geeta Parva written by members here in this thread..it surely seems like a despondent warrior not willing to face the battle of love.


Love is a game..play it..don't think too much of the fruits of your action.
That is not in your hands.


Marriage has nothing to do with love cos many of members here are echoing sentiments that they did not experince love before marriage.

Many members were overcome by compassion/fear of the highest kind... not willing to fight for their love....letting their bow and arrows of love slip down from their hands and sit despondently.

All I can say is "where did this weakness come all of a sudden in the moment of need..stand up..arise and fight for your love..abandon this state of mind..fear not that love should end in marriage for Love and Marriage need not go hand in hand..the Victor in Love is the person who fell in love and enjoyed the feeling of Love..he is the True Lover"

A new "Lovevad" Geeta and one Krishnaa with many (despondent) Arjunas!

 

[P.J.]

Why everyone left from this topic? There are many oldies here who can narrate how that has happened?

 

[renuka]

Dear PJ sir,

As we age we realize that Love is the biggest con job trick God played on us for continuation of species.

Attachment and the feeling of Mine(Mamaiva) is what that keeps every relationship alive.

So for all practical purposes Love is still not a really well understood phenomenon.

 

[P.J.]

renukaji
In General discussion members always have heated discussion, sometime we also need some lighter discussion, hence i opened this topic.
But i find only Raghy Sir, Kunjuppu Sir revealed their past, only you from women side, tbs Garu Sir can share but not doing also other oldies. Raji Madam makes us to run to different threads to her past!!

Waiting for someone to come up with his/ her Interesting post.

 

[renuka]

I was just reading a film magazine where Kareena Kapoor said this:

"Saif and I were just discussing that we Indians are schizophrenic in our behavior.We tend to hide behind the curtain a lot of times"


I tend to agree with Kareena and Saif Ali Khan on that.

BTW sir..you also give some members the benefit of the doubt cos some could have forgotten even the name of their first crush/love too becos old flames are might not be relevant anymore.

Most people of my generation do not even remember their boyfriend's or girlfriend's name.

We have learnt not to attach too much importance to the past cos present is always the most important.

 

[P.J.]

renukaji

if one had more than one girl friend or boy friend chances of forgetting the first one is possible; but that too very seldom as he/ she had the first experience ; in my case, only one, how can i ever forget her name?

 

[C RAVI]

renukaji

if one had more than one girl friend or boy friend chances of forgetting the first one is possible; but that too very seldom as he/ she had the first experience ; in my case, only one, how can i ever forget her name?

Shri PJ,

I feel, you can say, "I fell in love" with just one girl before your marriage AND not to say that you had only 1 girl friend. Because girl friend/boy friend in 99 percent of cases are meant for something special to be obtained/experienced between the two. And, as such, many tend to have multiple girl friends/boy friends and for them there is no need to remember any one's name. Even if they had 1, they obviously would not be inclined towards remembering the name of the person through whom they have experienced something special. At the most, they just cant avoid recollecting at times, as what and how they experienced.

Loving a boy/girl is very much different than befriending the opposite sex to have fun, IMHO!!

When people love some one they naturally tend to get attached and when it fails in some way and for some reason they try to get out of it with great difficulty, in due course of time. And they would not forget the name of the person whom they dearly loved .

When people just get into boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with one or more people, they get into it to have good pass time with lots of fun and pleasures. There is no emotional feelings and nothing called LOVVUU. There is only physical attraction and desire. Its mutual exchange of demand and supply to fulfill needs.

 

[sangom]

Why everyone left from this topic? There are many oldies here who can narrate how that has happened?

It shows the acceptability of the topic. If I say Rama ate meat, then the objection comes that even youngsters will read such "blasphemy" and go the wrong way. Now Tamil and other language cinemas have only Love as their topic and I for one, feel that this is making the youth go the wrong way. And, even in this Forum, supposed to be for "the brahmin community spread across the globe", there is recounting of the numerous loves of the old members. What more do the youngsters want to bolster their exploits in the "Love World"?

I feel you are interested in ruminating topics sexy even at this age. Why not consult your wife?

 

[renuka]

renukaji

if one had more than one girl friend or boy friend chances of forgetting the first one is possible; but that too very seldom as he/ she had the first experience ; in my case, only one, how can i ever forget her name?

Dear PJ sir,

I can understand your case...but actually why do you want to still remember her?

The reason is becos the Unknown is always a Mystery.

But unfulfilled desires or thoughts is not very good for us..so you do this:

1)First option.

You go looking for her..try to locate where she is...take a good look at her..she would have changed a lot by now.

Like actor Vivek comedy where he goes Cheran Autograph style to the house of his ex flame only to find her a leader of a criminal gang now(Swarnakka).

So take a trip and locate her if you really can't forget her and be prepared for drastic changes in her.


2)Second option..forget her yaar..find some new lovvu interest(I hope your wife is not reading this thread!LOL)

 

[P.J.]

It shows the acceptability of the topic. If I say Rama ate meat, then the objection comes that even youngsters will read such "blasphemy" and go the wrong way. Now Tamil and other language cinemas have only Love as their topic and I for one, feel that this is making the youth go the wrong way. And, even in this Forum, supposed to be for "the brahmin community spread across the globe", there is recounting of the numerous loves of the old members. What more do the youngsters want to bolster their exploits in the "Love World"?

I feel you are interested in ruminating topics sexy even at this age. Why not consult your wife?

Sangom Sir

Sorry , you see only negative aspect from my posts.

It is not my intention, we have always some serious discussion elsewhere, this is just a change , like remembering Childhood life. Nothing more.

 

[Brahin]

Sangom Sir

Sorry , you see only negative aspect from my posts.

It is not my intention, we have always some serious discussion elsewhere, this is just a change , like remembering Childhood life. Nothing more.

. Dear P.J some people cant except simple love there is something seriously wrong with them.

 

[sangom]

Sangom Sir

Sorry , you see only negative aspect from my posts.

It is not my intention, we have always some serious discussion elsewhere, this is just a change , like remembering Childhood life. Nothing more.

Shri PJ,

I commented only when you lamented "Why everyone left from this topic? There are many oldies here who can narrate how that has happened?". I was giving the reason why your light topic possibly failed to attract posts from every one. Another member was also perhaps trying to point out the same aspect when he jokingly said you will next start a thread on first nights!

Do you think the Indian (tabra) psyche is such that people will like to open up every personal aspect in a public forum like this?

 

[sangom]

. Dear P.J some people cant except simple love there is something seriously wrong with them.

Dear Shri Brahin,

I do not deny the existence of love or simple love, as you term it. But to me the love which is discussed is not love but only fugacious sexual attraction.

BTW, I have lived for more than 70 years without anybody complaining that there is something seriously wrong with me, at least psychologically, please.

 

[tbs]

hi p j sir,

tbs Garu Sir can share but not doing also other oldies.

i dont get bad name from srimati Raji maami.... Raji mami kobapaduvaa....so i keep quiet.....lol

 

[renuka]

Frankly speaking Love between 2 individuals (heterosexual or homosexual) is always hormonal based.

Ok just close our eyes and try to visualize this:

1)Think deeply of our spouse/chinna veedu/chinna veedan or anyone we love...surely we will be thinking of holding them close to us and at least resting our head on their shoulder and the feelings that come is Moha.



The problem is we Indians tend to over rate love between spouses/lovers as Deivigamana Kadhal.

When the basis of Moha is a cocktail of hormones..why make it Divine?

We should learn to accept that Moha is a very raw direct to a point instinct for continuation of species.

Over the years..people get used to each other, being fond of each other and life goes on.

We all love anything we like and are fond of.

I still have no heart to sell my car of 14 years cos I love my car..so same way we love our spouses cos we are fond of them.

The foundation of any love is hormones but eventually we build layers of affection,mutual respect and mutual dependence around them as we age.

If hormones were not in the picture....people who followed traditional method of arranged marriages would have only consummated their marriages after a few years of getting to know their spouses and falling in love with them.

As far as I know many just can't wait to gun it on their first night itself that too with a perfect stranger.

That shows HORMONES and the feeling of MINE(Mamaiva ) rules...all this Lovvu Givvu comes much later.

I don't know why it is so hard for many to swallow this bitter truth.

May be we have this habit of guDajihvakA (गुडजिह्वका)...smearing the tongue with jaggery before swallowing a bitter medicine so we never actually know that truth taste bitter

 

[sangom]

Frankly speaking Love between 2 individuals (heterosexual or homosexual) is always hormonal based.

Ok just close our eyes and try to visualize this:

1)Think deeply of our spouse/chinna veedu/chinna veedan or anyone we love...surely we will be thinking of holding them close to us and at least resting our head on their shoulder and the feelings that come is Moha.



The problem is we Indians tend to over rate love between spouses/lovers as Deivigamana Kadhal.

When the basis of Moha is a cocktail of hormones..why make it Divine?

We should learn to accept that Moha is a very raw direct to a point instinct for continuation of species.

Over the years..people get used to each other, being fond of each other and life goes on.

We all love anything we like and are fond of.

I still have no heart to sell my car of 14 years cos I love my car..so same way we love our spouses cos we are fond of them.

The foundation of any love is hormones but eventually we build layers of affection,mutual respect and mutual dependence around them as we age.

If hormones were not in the picture....people who followed traditional method of arranged marriages would have only consummated their marriages after a few years of getting to know their spouses and falling in love with them.

As far as I know many just can't wait to gun it on their first night itself that too with a perfect stranger.

That shows HORMONES and the feeling of MINE(Mamaiva ) rules...all this Lovvu Givvu comes much later.

I don't know why it is so hard for many to swallow this bitter truth.

May be we have this habit of guDajihvakA (गुडजिह्वका)...smearing the tongue with jaggery before swallowing a bitter medicine so we never actually know that truth taste bitter

According to me this is "unalloyed" truth coming from the keyboard of an experienced medico. I have heard the same view from my wife's athimbar who owns a polyclinic and is himself a good doctor.

But Tamil literature, and now cinemas, survive mostly by touting the so-called "Deiveeka kAthal" and so they will refuse to see the truth. While I can understand the youth enjoying this untruth and getting vicarious satisfaction of sorts, it is strange that even grown-ups contribute to this concocted notion of deiveeka kAthal !

 

[Raji Ram]

...... i dont get bad name from srimati Raji maami.... Raji mami kobapaduvaa....so i keep quiet.....

. . .

 

[Brahin]

If some of us write our love stories,we will take up too many pages here.

 

[renuka]

Dear PJ sir,

Watch this video...this is how the feeling of falling in love feels.

A person who is in love will feel like doing what SRK is doing in the song.

[video=youtube_share;3uxe_dAKjrM]http://youtu.be/3uxe_dAKjrM[/video]

 

[renuka]

If some of us write our love stories,we will take up too many pages here.

Dear Brahin,

Don't worry...most of us are quite used to Mega serials..so we will surely enjoy reading the stories!LOL

 

[renuka]

But nothing beats this story about how a person never forgot a face he once loved.

Once when I was newly graduated..I was not feeling well and went to a clinic near my parents house which belonged to a doctor they knew quite well.

This doctor used to like one of my father's sister when he was young.

But at that time this doctor was in still in high school and he was too playful types..so no one thought that he will even make it out of high school!LOL

So my father's sister did not reciprocate his love.

Then he went on and became a doc and got married to someone else but he was still on good terms with my mum and dad.

Ok the last time he had seen me was when I was very young cos at that time my family was staying in a different state from his work place.

Then we got transferred to the same place where he was staying and everyone became close family friends.

So he had not seen me for a long long time.

When I went to his clinic and told him that I am not feeling well..to my surprise he was not interested to check me but he kept saying..."you resemble someone I once knew..who are you?"

I resemble my father's sister and this doctor was some 55 years old or more at that time was asking me "Can you tell me who you are?"

Then I said I am so and so's daughter and he was "OMG you must be her niece!"

Then he was so happy to meet me and asked how is everyone at home.

Then after a few days he calls up my parents and said he wanted to propose his brother in law who is a lawyer to marry me.

But I declined the proposal cos that lawyer guy was not my types.

Lawyers tend to drink at parties when they entertain their clients...so I was not keen to marry a lawyer.

But I was thinking no matter what...that doctor never forgot the face of the person he once loved.

 

[P.J.]

Definition of Love

Love placed on our equals is friendship.
Love reposed in elders whether they are noble or not, is respect.
Love placed in younger ones, or those below us, is grace.
Love placed in those who suffer is compassion.
Love placed in noble ones with humility is Bhakti.


Love placed in the noblest of objects is Bhakti.


The noblest object is God and so if we humbly submit to Him with Love that is Bhakti.

 

[sangom]

Definition of Love

Love placed on our equals is friendship.
Love reposed in elders whether they are noble or not, is respect.
Love placed in younger ones, or those below us, is grace.
Love placed in those who suffer is compassion.
Love placed in noble ones with humility is Bhakti.


Love placed in the noblest of objects is Bhakti.


The noblest object is God and so if we humbly submit to Him with Love that is Bhakti.

Shri PJ,

I think the sanskrit word "Bhakti" does not per se mean any love or submission. It means "dividing" and bhakti is supposed to be a kind of sharing the God very much like kids share chundal on Margazhi mornings. The various interpretations and embellishments, right up to the "parakeeya bhakti" of the Gaudiya Vaishnavites, which they consider to be the highest form of devotion to God, are all invented ones, which have been designed to keep people within the bounds of religious control.