Life is in peril...need help.....

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Hi
My husband collegues has severe problem in life. He has been married more than 12 years and her wife abandoned him at middle of life and ran away. She went to court and got expartee divorce. He did not participate any trial. He is trying for the past two years not
successful (to bring her back). He is a very good person and having good conduct and
very pious etc. I know him and visited his house with my husband. He could not get support from his family because other's jealous about him. Further other's are not much educated like him.

He is undergoing severe depression in life. He has to take care of himself and his old mother.
His only support is his mother. One more issues, he did not have proper job so far. He has job contractual then and there. He can not go back to India due to immigration status.
He wants to stay here for another 3+ years earn some money bought a flat in Bangalore and settle down. His mother is very old and living alone. His other brother/sister's are not helping her also. Even though I am a women, I believe now a days women create a lot of problem than men. I never saw a good person like my husbands collegue. He is a man of high caliber and credential.

God punished him , because he is good. I have to say this. No words can describe his sufferings.

I want to help him as a humanitarian means..

1. Anybody doing pooja/vasiayam etc...to unite such ladies...

2. Any living Guru or sanyasi or 'acharya' can intervene and save his life.

3. Any temple visit performing some remedy like yaga or homam will unite this lady
with her.

4 . He need support from his family also....

I appreciate all your comments and ideas...

Sujatha.

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Sujatha,

I appreciate your Helping Tendency. God Bless You.

I dont have belief over any Sanyasi or Acharya because to me all of them are Frauds and 420s.

As a ," Third Person and Good Well wisher " I can hold Negotiations to Unite them in Life.

He can go and perform prayers at all Navagraha Temples around Kumbakonam.

For that also I can assist .

 

[Soumya Ramasubramanian]

I'll definitely pray for him..god is ma best friend and listens to me..I'm sure all will turn out good for him soon...i don't know any other way to help..

 

[kunjuppu]

dear sujatha,

there is no explanation as to 'why' your friend is suffering. sh*t happens, i guess. at random. that is what i believe.

i also believe in God.

i wish he has the strength to tide over this intermediary period.

what i find disturbing, is his sibling's refusal to take care of the mother. it is after all the same lady who gave birth to all of them.

re his wife, it is rubbish. let the lady go. she has been the source of his sadness. dont waste anymore time chasing garbage.

God Bless your friend, and you, for being there for him, atleast to hear him out. and feel for him.

 

[kunjuppu]

TSS,

i suggest, that the wife should be dropped. she has reasons of her own for abandoning the man, and at this stage, i dont think mediation will help. unfortunately such people exist in this world. and prosper too...all random.

 

[Soumya Ramasubramanian]

What is Vasiyam?

 

[Raji Ram]

Google search gives the answer, Soumya! Just search the word 'vasiyam' and you will get A to Z of that! :blah:

 

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I do not know whether negotiation will be successful. Because his wife is earning lot of money and her parents/brother's are eating her money. She is thinking they will take care of her. Further her brother/parents preventing her joining with her husband.
she is staying in california, california has a stupid law who ever ask for divorce it will be granted without any reason.

Only 90 days stay is needed. what I am thinking any guru or some special pariharam/manthrigam will make her unemployed and
after two or three months she will come back. The reason for that her parents/brother are only for money. The moment money
is stopped, they will wash their hands.

Sujatha

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

I refer to post no.8 above.
I may not advise to go in for such activity.The Girl's side may also engage another person more powerful.
If the gentleman can approach"Kodai Varadan"an aged person living in Annanagar,Chennai, who takes lot of money for doing special poojas.
He does not retain any money and gives the entire money to charity.That is why, he is known as "Kodai Varadan".Particulars about him appears in Thuglak magazine.
I know a similar case.In 1960s my office colleague,a Tambran got married to a TB girl.
After staying with her husband,in-laws,sister-in laws,she was not inclined to stay with her husband.She got a male child also through her husband.One day,she insisted to be dropped in her Brother'splace in NewDelhi.
Many friends,wellwishers approached the Girl to live with her husband,if necessary in a separate house.She was not prepared.She was sent to her brother's place as desired.
She stopped all contacts with her husband thereafter.
My friend remained single for a long time hoping his wife will return one day.He used to moan often that he was prepared to forget the past and accept her even after a long gap
and his friends in NewDelhi had told him that his son was just resembling him etc.;
After retirement from Government service,he has married another lady and living a
religious/spiritual life.
The best course would be to forget the woman and select another life partner
who is willing to marry him and live with him.

 

[Raji Ram]

Is it a good idea to make a lady unemployed with some manthrAs? If she is not willing to live with someone, it is very difficult to

change her mind to love him!

BTW, I have a doubt? Is it the husband himself requesting advice from our members? :noidea:

 

[kunjuppu]

i know more things are wrought by prayer, than the human ever dreams of...but saying mantras to wish specific something to happen?
like cause and effect?

i dont know whether these will succeed. anyone promising to do such prayers, need to come up with 'money back' guarantees, before
you shell out big bucks. lots of frauds out there.

 

[Brahmanyan]

I feel very sorry to read the failure of a marriage. According to our belief Marriage is a sacramental "Samskara". This is what the bride groom declares at the time of marriage:

"Ye learned people assembled at this sacred ceremony know it for certain that we two hereby accept each other as companions for life and agree to live together most cordially as husband and wife. May the hearts of us both be blended and beat in unison. May we love each other like the very breath of our lives. As the all-pervading God sustains the universe, so may we sustain each other. As a preceptor loves his disciple, so may we love each other steadfastly and faithfully. -Rig Veda X.85.47"

​

Thus, after the initial period of infatuation, success of a married life primarily depends on mutual trust, love and a lot of adjustments between two individuals who had come together to build a family. Deficiency in any of these causes a split. When one has decided already to leave and taken a divorce, I don't think there is any point in attempting rapprochement between them.

Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[kunjuppu]

B sir,

it is again the family, as per sujatha, that is the culprit.

modern day marriages, the #1 cause of tension, fight and failure, is the interference of one of the parties' families. they somehow cannot let go of the son or daughter, depend on her/him for financial/mental/moral support to the detriment of the couple relationship.

i always wonder, when someone says, that marriage is a union of two families. i would put it more succinctly, marriage is a union of two individuals split asunder by two families .. i think that is today's reality.

 

[Yamaka]

Dear Ms. Sujatha:

Please remember that in the West about 50% of the marriages end in divorce... the rate should be the same or even worse in India - but because of "bogus prestige or culture" the broken marriages are kept "together artificially for too long", although in reality the members (mostly the wife) are crying inside for help, and no one hears those pain and sorrow!!

My solution to this particular gentleman is,

1. He must forget totally about the lady who walked away from him... we don't know why she did what she did... maybe she has genuine reasons for her action.

2. He must find a suitable job at all cost immediately... if eligible he must get Food Stamps and other help from Medicaid.

3. As he planned, he must save some money then move to Bangalore and live happily thereafter with his mother.

4. No prayer, pooja, Vaisyam etc will ever work for anybody... they are all for terribly psychologically disturbed people, just to give them temporary "relief".

Not at all a long term solution.

5. The person should be willing to work multiple jobs - working 15 h a day either as a hamburger flipper or a janitor or whatever job that he can find to support himself and his mother..

He must take charge of his life... no more wallowing about the past... he needs to be an optimist and action oriented man.

I wish him the best.

Cheers.

 

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t

 

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I know my hubby's friend six years....and i have found their family is a good family. What I have found so far,
they do not have any kid . Lot of people are very happy even without kid. Other than that no reason ...
My hubby says' he is a soft hearted person could not take this and suffering with heavy depression.

He cannot live alone and his family did not have much help (all live back in India). Lady is living here because her
brother is working here and eating money.

I am house wife (quit 8 years back ) and taking care of family. My hubby says he is undergoing severe depression
Visiting temple/praying did not help so far.

I will say, it is easy to say but difficult to digest. He says 'women can sustain this type of things, men cann't).

Before we moved to California, I have found another Maharashtrian family in Michigan,ripped apart.

Will Sudharshana homam help to defeat the bogus lady ? or 'Sathru samharam homam' etc.

what is the best way to do ? I read today , Jaya lalitha's ex-friend Sasi kala did the Sudarshana homam in Tiruchy.

Sai baba can do miracle....Any other guru ?

Sujatha

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

If a person does not believe in HIMSELF/HERSELF no guru,
no homam and no miracle can save him or her.

He has managed long enough after your CRY for help.

He will come out of it. Instead of frightening him more and making him more depressed try to make him see the silver lining of the black cloud.

Surely there must be some point in favour of the rift.

Instead of sitting and brooding about the past let him throw in his energy and thoughts in doing something he enjoys doing.

When I underwent hysterectomy in my early forties - I was all alone in a place far away from anyone in the family.

Anybody would have gone into deep depression! I enrolled in the correspondence course for drawing and never had the time to feel lonely or depressed.

We must be able to solve our own problems and go on with life.

 

[renuka]

I know my hubby's friend six years....and i have found their family is a good family. What I have found so far,
they do not have any kid . Lot of people are very happy even without kid. Other than that no reason ...
My hubby says' he is a soft hearted person could not take this and suffering with heavy depression.

He cannot live alone and his family did not have much help (all live back in India). Lady is living here because her
brother is working here and eating money.

I am house wife (quit 8 years back ) and taking care of family. My hubby says he is undergoing severe depression
Visiting temple/praying did not help so far.

I will say, it is easy to say but difficult to digest. He says 'women can sustain this type of things, men cann't).

Before we moved to California, I have found another Maharashtrian family in Michigan,ripped apart.

Will Sudharshana homam help to defeat the bogus lady ? or 'Sathru samharam homam' etc.

what is the best way to do ? I read today , Jaya lalitha's ex-friend Sasi kala did the Sudarshana homam in Tiruchy.

Sai baba can do miracle....Any other guru ?

Sujatha

Can you ask your friend to consider remarriage?
You know we Indians tend to sit and cry when relationships go sour but I have seen many other races just move on with life and enter a new marriage and actually find happiness.

You know after the Tsunami on Dec 26th 2004 which hit Aceh Indonesia the worst ..a documentary done a year later revealed that many who had lost wifes nd husbands remarried each other who were remaining in the village.

The same coverage done in Tamil Nadu showed people still depressed and even blaming God.No one really moved on with life or considered remarriage.

I know we Indian tend rather hold on to virtues and be depressed but I guess there is no harm for your friend to consider seeing a doc cos I feel he is suffering from severe form of depression.

 

[Raghy]

Sowbagyavathy Sujatha, Greetings.

Your husband's friend has to help himself.

If you read my messages in this forum, it's a long list of them, you would picture a dashing, confident and energetic male typing out those messages. Reality is, I went through depression like there is no tomorrow. At times I was so depressed, I already chose the tree and the branch too.

The only opposite feeling to depression is happiness. We can't wait for others to make us happy; we have to make ourselves happy. I watched 'Seinfeld', 'Becker', 'Faulty towers', ' Mr.Beans' again and again. I changed my career. Not a small change, from a tradesperson who worked in machines oil dripping on the face to become a registered nurse.

I always find happiness in the worst of the situations. Like Sowbagyavathy VR suggested, your husband's friend should believe in himself. That is the only solution.

One should not take a female for granted; one should earn her. In the same way, she should earn him too. A man should add value to a relationship. I know my weaknesses, but I always try to add value to my association with sincere efforts. We don't know what we are good at unless we try at it. My Christmas present from work is a cook book written by a famous chef; at home, I got four different cook books, a set or spice containers; a new set of pressure cookers; and a brand new kitchen is being promised! I had no idea how to make a coffee without burning it! But, I took interest and patiently I learned. At my work, ( Ladies are majority at my work), ladies consult me in regards to receipe for cooking a suprise dinner for their partners!

If I can do it, anybody can do it with one arm tied behind. I am serious; I was more close to a nincampoop than an average person when it comes to intelligence. So, ask your friend to change his career, completely different, if possible. He will succeed. Drastic problems require drastic solutions.

Cheers!

 

[S.Ramanathan]

Dear Madam,

I no Tow solutions. The solution no. 1 is "Shirdi Saibaba" who lives every where and knows everything. I request you and the other gentleman whom you refer to pray sincerely and devotedly to sai.

I tell you an incident from my life. I was living in chennai and never used to visit saibaba mandir at mailai. When I was transfered to Kolkata I started visiting sai mandir at lake market area every thursday. Suddenly oneday my son studying in IIT kharagpur booked the ticket to shirdi and we visited him in Feb 2010. Just before a month he applied for stanford, berkly, etc. for his higher studies. During our journey to shirdi he saw a mail in his mobile and was very sad. On enquiry we found out that some student in chennai was given the seat in standford and my son told he will not get since the list is out and his name is not appearing.

At shirdi we prayed sai that he has to give our son a seat in berkly or stanford and we told him that after getting seat in stanford we will come agian and thank him.

After a month has passed and my son and we were in terrible mental agony and not knowing what to do. Whether to pursure further studies or to go for job.

But, we continue to trust sai and we never dropped down from praying and visiting every thursday.

Suddenly, we got the message in the fag end of march that he has been selected by stanford and now he is studying in stanford, california.

A month ago, me and my wife visited sai and thanked him.

Dear madam sai has never let down anybody to my knowledge who trusted him. As Rajini has said in one film that god will never let down which applies to Shirdi sai also. There are many incidents in my life sai has rescued us.

The second solution is one mr. k. satishkumar, a leading astrologer staying in erode writing in Nallaneram website. I hope he can analyse the horoscope of the person and tell him the pariharams. The website is 合コンでマジメな出会いさがし.

Regards,

S.Ramanathan

 

[S.Ramanathan]

Dear madam,

solution no 1. Shirdi sai baba. Ask him to pray sai and visit sai baba mandir every thrusday if there is one in his place. Sai ram has helped my son in getting a seat in stanford, california. If the person is honest and genuine baba will definitely call him. I stayed in mumbai for 10 years but i never visited shirdi, whereas, suddenly he called me in 2010 and again in 2011.

solution no. 2. shri K. Satishkumar, a leading astrologer living in erode who is running a website called www.nallaneram.com. Simply you send the horoscope by email and he will give the predictions and parigarams. It is sufficient that you give the date,time and place of birth and the parents' names of the person for whom you are seeking help.

regards,

S.Ramanathan

 

[S.Ramanathan]

Dear madam,

Please go to the following website www.astrosuper.com. The site is maintained by Shri K. Satishkumar an eminent astrologer who can predict his future and can give parigarams.

You can ask your friend to pray shirdi saibaba everyday and visit nearest saibaba mandir every thursday. Sai has done many wonders in my life including obtaining seat for my son in stanford, california.

Those who trust Shirdi Saibaba will never be let down by him.

with regards,

S. Ramanathan

 

[wrongan]

The good qualities as seen by his well wisher is given 0n #1.Did she not noticed any negative aspect with him.Genaraly a good person in the eyes of all his friends is not so in the vision of his wife who is more intimate with him than others.Please try to get at that and one may get a solution.A PSYCHOLOGIST's help may be useful.

 

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I will ask my hubby friend to visit Shradi. I have another question. I heard there is a Sani temple in Pune .
Anybody knows where it is ? It was told that visiting this temple will solve many problem in life.

Sujatha

 

[S.Ramanathan]

I will ask my hubby friend to visit Shradi. I have another question. I heard there is a Sani temple in Pune .
Anybody knows where it is ? It was told that visiting this temple will solve many problem in life.

Sujatha

Dear madam,

The sani baghavan temple is located around 28 kms. from shirdi (by car about 45 mts journey.). The name of the temple is called sanisingnapur. The god is suyambu saniswaran and looks like a stone which was fallen from heaven. I have visited the god twice in my life. Also if it is possible you can ask him to visit pandaripur which is 6 hours journey from shirdi where you are allowed to bow your head at the feet of lord vittala who is very powerful and listen to our problems.

Regards,

S.Ramanathan