Opinion of Tabra Boys and Girls on Marriage:

[pviyer]

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namaste shrI kunjuppu.




The only exceptions are the profiles of some traditional girls, who are accomplished in karnATik music or bharatanATyam. Such girls seek their varans who would either match or be capable of appreciating their traditional accomplishments, with no regard to the varans' earning power or qualifications.

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Some years back not very long ago, I did remember to have seen a girls specification in a matrimony ad- she was clear that she would not work and that taking care of her future family would be her only priority. The girl had a masters in music. I am not saying such a view has to be taken by all women , but it is interesting to know that our society still has a section which thinks quite traditionally.

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

I think the time has come to undertake a deep study of "Vaikanas Society".They are a group of people following vaishnava sampradaya.
They have their own religious leader and follow their own panchang. This community hails from a village 'Karuppur' nearer to famous temple village'varaghur'.Both the villages are a few kilometeres from 'Tirukkattupalli'.They are spread far and wide just like other communities.Most of them are not fair skinned.
I came to know about this community when a lady from this community joined our house to assist us in our kitchen in 2003.Now she is living with us as one of our family members.Male members work in temples as priests.Girls though having college education willingly marry boys from their own community without minding that the boys do not have even basic education and are working as temple priests in private temples with little income.

 

[Iyyarooraan]

iyya,

inspite of poor execution, the world has been steadily moving towards ideals and idealisms. starting to what i believe, from the french revolution.

the state, which once was a ruler, is today a parent and care taker. one may mock at the goodies coming out for this tamil nadu elections, but is this not a manifest of a parent taking care of the children?

this concept has also seeped into our community, albeit with varying results. sometimes out of choice, and sometimes forced. out of choice example would be the decision of the generation starting from the 60s to give equal opportunities re education and career to our daughters.

at that time, we were still in a mental warp re womenfolk - inspite of all the education, the girl, on marriage meekly handed the paycheque to the mother in law. no more, from what i understand. so this aspect, of the empowerment of the woman towards her own paycheck, has been a result of the thinking of today - and may not be quite welcome among certain boys' families.

we are moving towards thinking our spouse as an extension of ourselves, if not out of sympathy, just because of the earning power of the wife. paycheck is a powerful tool, and how many of us, living in the cities can afford to live with a single paycheck.

it is in this context, i am waiting for the clock to turn further. the day when our girls are willing to arranged marriage of guys, lesser qualified, lesser earnings and overall lesser endowed than themselves. only then i would say, that our females have become truly liberated.

jai woman!!

I agree with you but would like to say the IT laws and other laws consider one earning member is separate from the other. So be it. By clinging to traditional system, it is okay if the girl or the spouse maintains her individuality. But in family matters she should oblige other members like she would agree to her friends. In the midst of other community elders, they touch their feet, but would not stoop in their own home! She should acquire necessary temperament to mingle with her inlaws and behave like their friends. The boy also should give the impression to inlaws that he is a son to them. If either or both of them are modern, where will be the hitch. But both should take a vow that they will not desert both the families. Don't you have differences in the working place or outside in the social circle. Both of them CAN assert their individuality without irritating others. In marriage life or otherwise, problems are bound to be there, face them and solve them by your superiority. Do not become inferior and try to escape. Change the pattern of mother-daughter rift, sister-sister rift, sister-brother rift, woman-woman rift. If they can do that, they become equal to those ideal men. Rolling stone gathers mass, still stone will suffer lonliness. "Stand erect and watch the world go by and it will" said somebody. If you want to be lonely, take to sanyasa and retire to Himalayas. The world offers all fun. You learn to participate and enjoy life in full. Don't pretend you are struck by rigor martis and break your back.

 

[pviyer]

I think the time has come to undertake a deep study of "Vaikanas Society".They are a group of people following vaishnava sampradaya.
They have their own religious leader and follow their own panchang. This community hails from a village 'Karuppur' nearer to famous temple village'varaghur'.Both the villages are a few kilometeres from 'Tirukkattupalli'.They are spread far and wide just like other communities.Most of them are not fair skinned.
I came to know about this community when a lady from this community joined our house to assist us in our kitchen in 2003.Now she is living with us as one of our family members.Male members work in temples as priests.Girls though having college education willingly marry boys from their own community without minding that the boys do not have even basic education and are working as temple priests in private temples with little income.

Here the girls understand that prestige is not from glossy paper degrees, but mettle comes from what an individual really is. I am sure these girls have expectations too, but they have a right set of expectations, the boy must be compatible, must be responsible and must be an ideal man!

Frankly I see no extraordinary worth in these paper degrees as I learnt much after my degrees and other certificates. But working hard and showing pro-activeness in acquiring knowledge(not for degree sake but for its own sake and to find ways of using it) is a great quality