Rahul Gandhi Jokes

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

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Rahul Gandhi was going on a plane trip to New York.

When the attendant came by and asked for his ticket, she told Rahul Gandhi,”I’m sorry. Your ticket isn’t for first class. Could you please move to your seat ?.”

Rahul Gandhi replied,”I’m a Gandhi, I’m young, and I’m going to New York.”

The attendant said,”That’s fine mister, but you’ll have to go to your seat.”

Rahul Gandhi responded again, ,”I’m a Gandhi, I’m young, and I’m going to New York.” This conversation continued, always with the Rahul Gandhi ‘s same response.

The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about Rahul Gandhi.

The captain went and whispered something in Rahul Gandhi ‘s ear and Rahul Gandhi immeadiately got up and went to his seat in coach.

The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn Rahul Gandhi to move.

He said, “I just told him that this part of the plane wasn’t going to New York.”

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

At a pharmacy, Rahul Gandhi asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby he held in his arms.

The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the father and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the father alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

“That won’t work,” countered Rahul Gandhi. “I’m not the father, I’m the uncle.”

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

After failing in everything else, Rahul Gandhi decided to try the job of a painter.

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Rahul Gandhi painting the walls.

He was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked Rahul Gandhi why he was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

Rahul Gandhi showed him the instructions on the tin, “For best results, put on two coats”.

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Video Jokes of Rahul Gandhi....

Some Rahul Gandhi videos | rahulgandhijokes

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Smt Pratibha Patil, President of India, will be visiting N. Delhi, shortly!

 

[ggopinat]

Nice...

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

At a pharmacy, Rahul Gandhi asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby he held in his arms.

The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the father and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the father alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

“That won’t work,” countered Rahul Gandhi and replied “I’m not the father, I’m the uncle.”

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Rahul Gandhi comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that his house is on fire, so he calls the fire department on his cell phone.

“Please state the nature of your emergency,” says the operator. “Help! My house is on fire!” Rahul Gandhi replies.

“Okay, where do you live?” “In a house you silly billy!” Rahul Gandhi replies.

“No,no! How do we get there?” the operator asks frustratedly. “Duh! Big Red Truck!!”

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

In a fancy Geneva restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror.

But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear.

One day, Chidu, Sibal and Rahul Gandhi happen to be in Geneva (Switzerland) as they had come to launder their black money.

They enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.

Sibal goes first. “I think I’m the smartest minister in the cabinet.” “POOF!” he disappears.

Chidu goes up to try. “I think I’m the most capable HM India has had.” “POOF!” he disappears.

Rahul Gandhi goes up. “I think–” “POOF!” he disappeared...

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Rahul Gandhi was really tired of being made fun of, so he decided to wear a mask so that he would look like Narendra Modi.

When wearing the mask, he decided to take a drive in the country.

After he had been driving for a while, he saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, “Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”

He got out and walked over to the farmer and said, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said he could have a try.

Rahul Gandhi looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”

The farmer was amazed – he was right! So Rahul Gandhi, (who looked like Narendra Modi), picked one out and got back into his car.

Before he left, farmer walked up to him and said. “If I can guess which politician you really are, can I have my dog back?”

 

[guruvayurappan]

Rahul Gandhi was really tired of being made fun of, so he decided to wear a mask so that he would look like Narendra Modi.

When wearing the mask, he decided to take a drive in the country.

After he had been driving for a while, he saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, “Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”

He got out and walked over to the farmer and said, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said he could have a try.

Rahul Gandhi looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”

The farmer was amazed – he was right! So Rahul Gandhi, (who looked like Narendra Modi), picked one out and got back into his car.

Before he left, farmer walked up to him and said. “If I can guess which politician you really are, can I have my dog back?”

dear sir !
aiyo onume puriyale sir ! cheat double cheat !!
guruvayurappan

 

[sarang]

1. He was so dumb that he did not know the difference between a dog and a sheep.
2. He was so clever that he took the dog, since he knew that a sheep dog trained by a farmer is far more valuable.

I opt for the second since he had made lot of money from us poor farmers.

dear sir !
aiyo onume puriyale sir ! cheat double cheat !!
guruvayurappan

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Rahul Gandhi (actually Raul Vinci to his immediate family and friends abroad) goes to the see Jurassic Park along with his Colombian girlfriend and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.
His girlfriend asks him “What Raul? Are you afraid of the cinema?”
Rahul Gandhi replies “I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?”

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Before Rahul Gandhi ‘managed’ to get (or buy) a degree from LSE, he was the butt of jokes for his lack of education. So in a fit of anger to prove that he could compete with the best, he went to a job interview for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?
YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light
HARVARD Guy: It’s the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.
MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked
Rahul Gandhi: Its Loose motion
INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Rahul Gandhi’s reply, asked) “WHY”?
Rahul Gandhi: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Before Rahul Gandhi was put on private schooling, he was being sent to a reputed school in Delhi where all the kids used to make jokes about his dumbness. Well, one day Rahul Gandhi just got sick and tired of all the jokes. So one evening he went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the school the next day, some kid started telling a dumb Rahul Gandhi joke. Rahul interrupted him with a shrill announcement,
“I’ve had it up to here with these jokes about me. I want you to know that I went home last night and did something probably none of you could do…I memorized all the state capitals.”
One of the kids, of course, said “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Karnataka?”
“K”, Rahul Gandhi answered!

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

When Rahul Gandhi was pretending to be studying abroad in the nineties, he tried many jobs and failed. One of his failed jobs was at a bakery. Here’s why:
A man wishes to observe his wife’s birthday by holding a party. So he goes to arrange a birthday cake to the bakery that Rahul Gandhi worked at.
Rahul Gandhi inquires him what message he prefers to use on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and tells: Let’s put, ‘you are not getting older you are getting better’.
Rahul Gandhi demands, ‘How do you wish me to set it up ? ‘
The man says, well put ‘You are not getting older’, at the top and ‘You are getting better’ at the bottom.
Why Rahul Gandhi was fired? When the cake was opened the entire party viewed the message decorated on the cake:
‘You are not getting older at the top; you are getting better at the bottom’.

 

[T.S.Sankara Narayanan]

Rahul Gandhi sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing
The bystander says: A Marathon race is going on
Rahul Gandhi: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Rahul Gandhi: Then why are the others running?!