Dear Sri Kunjuppu Ji,
You said:
Mine was a very unique marriage to a very unique lady. I married way, way up (same with my current consort), and perhaps did not do her life any justice.
I was (and still am) a large part a 'moufussil' boy, having been raised in a small town, in a joint family, with no actual guidance. Was quite uncouth, (perhaps as i am today), when I departed for USA, with a scholarship in hand, to my astonishment.
I acquiesced to my mom's demand to have an arranged marriage - even knew the girl she was looking at (a distant relative), and liked her from a distance.
Then I met my late wife in a very unlikely place/event. That moment, changed everything. I, even now look back in wonderment as to how it happened (by the way, it happened again), and what all I can say is that that was the way it was to be.
She came from a very orthodox family, but, she was such an intellectual, she took every religious practice very seriously (she knew Hebrew and had Bat Mitzvah). She questioned the practices, and came to a point, where my own attraction to Vedanta met that point in equality.
We raised our boys, with exposure to both religions, and I am proud to say, they have found their own individual philosophies, that guide them and their families well.
She never tried to convert me, trying her best to understand my religion and vice versa.
We loved each other at a deep human level and that was enough.
Regards,
KRS
dear krs,
thank you for your post. i always felt, that there is no conversion, in affairs where true love prevails. you dont want the other to deny their background or faith, which is the sum of what they are currently. you accept them as they come, and there is a willingness to work together to make out something new.
i am surprised in your case re mrs KRS being an orthodox jew and moreover the emphasis judaism (like islam) places on the female, as the guardian of the morals and propagating it to the next generation. i know a few orthodox marriage to non jews, and all these, conversions to judaism took place. in most cases, there is no contact with the erstwhile christian (white) family.
i have a close relative married to a reformed jew. though the wedding was jewish, the couple, have no children and both are non practising ie barring a funeral they have no been inside a synagogue these past 20+ years. the hindu side for 5 years would have nothing to do with the couple, but now all is ok.
i personally think, that IR marriages are tough in india. as there is intense pressure to convert, if not from one of the couple (islam or xtian), pressure from the family. we know a friend in dubai married to a mangalorean xtian. he is easy going punjabi and all went well first few years, till the wife's mother came to live with them. forced the wife to insist the husband attend church. i think these have separated now.
IC marriages technically should have no pressure. after all we pray to the same god and go to the same temple. the only issue is food ie if both are veg or non veg no issue. otherwise i think, esp in india, cooking non veg is a big deal.
in canada even among tambram non veg is not an issue. we know tambram couples where husband and children eat meat - the wife cooks it but does not eat it. no big deal is made by anyone. the vathiar comes, sees the barbecue in the background, and moves on to say the prayers. good attitude. i think.
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