Retirement Communities

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

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All the communities that I have visited are for Upper Middle Class.

But there are a number of communities specifically targeted at the middle class. They are run by Charitable organizations. I came across a number of them.

Though they may not have all the luxuries of the Upper middle Class communities, they take excellent care of the residents.

Just to take an example in the communities I stayed in, we could not get coffee early in the morning. Then I saw one of my old friends who is staying in the middle class, not so posh communities. He was very happy and remarked how they wake him up with hot coffee at 5.00 A.M.

So it is not necessary that the posh Communities are always better.

Remember it is not the facilities which makes life comfortable, but the people.

 

[Raji Ram]

I went to one of the retirement resorts in outskirts of Sing. Chennai, with a friend, to visit another friend. As soon as we entered

the friend's room, she ordered for three cups of coffee. Within minutes, a tall guy with a bright smile entered the room with three

cups of coffee along with some snacks and biscuits. His name is Kannan. As soon as I heard his name, I sang poet Bharathi's song

'எங்கிருந்தோ வந்தான் இடைச்சாதி நான் என்றான் இங்கிவனை யான் பெறவே என்ன தவம் செய்து விட்டேன் - கண்ணன்'

(engirundhO vandhAn idaich chAdhi nAnendrAn ingivanai yAn peRavE enna thavam seydhuvittEn, KaNNan)

Then he told us his flashback story. He was a very short tempered man till he was spotted by the owner of this resort, a few

years back, at some village down South. He was asked to shift with his family to this place so that he and his wife could cook

food and take care of the seniors and the 'home' will take care of his children's studies in the city! What a good deal! When he

started helping elders, he became a soft spoken humble man, with a bright smile on his face always!

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... So it is not necessary that the posh Communities are always better.

Remember it is not the facilities which makes life comfortable, but the people.

​Very true, Sir!

 

[munsaamy]

I thought it would be nice in Kanyakumari Dist to retire owing to the abundance of water. Would that be true? I have not lived in Kanyakumari Dist. So, I don't know.

 

[tbs]

All the communities that I have visited are for Upper Middle Class.

But there are a number of communities specifically targeted at the middle class. They are run by Charitable organizations. I came across a number of them.

Though they may not have all the luxuries of the Upper middle Class communities, they take excellent care of the residents.

Just to take an example in the communities I stayed in, we could not get coffee early in the morning. Then I saw one of my old friends who is staying in the middle class, not so posh communities. He was very happy and remarked how they wake him up with hot coffee at 5.00 A.M.

So it is not necessary that the posh Communities are always better.

Remember it is not the facilities which makes life comfortable, but the people.

hi nachi sir,

in USA...florida is famous for retirement communities....becoz nice weather with a lot of facilities with tax benefits from local govt...

i used to live in florida some yrs back.....just curious...any tax benefits for these communities.?

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

hi nachi sir,

in USA...florida is famous for retirement communities....becoz nice weather with a lot of facilities with tax benefits from local govt...

i used to live in florida some yrs back.....just curious...any tax benefits for these communities.?

The treatment of senior citizens in the U.S is one of the best. In India the senior citizen is neglected by the state. Even concessions in Railway fare has come only recently. Almost all the public places remain inaccessible for those who have problems in walking.

The retirement Communities in U.S get tax benefits. In India the Government does not even recognize their existence.

 

[Vaagmi]

Those who are articulate have explained their view of what is an ideal retirement home/community and what is their idea of an ideal retirement life in such a home. The community is largely represented by people who can not be so articulate because they are the majority. Now let us see what will be their representative expectations (this excludes those who are dependent completely on their children-both financially and physically because their case is not fit for a retirement home). I spoke to a few people and this is what I got:

First about myself.

1. I am a retired person with a monthly steady income by way of pension. My wife is eligible for family pension after my death. I have a mediclaim policy which will take care of my illnesses and medical needs upto to 70 years. Then I will have to touch my savings which are safely invested and keep growing which are adequate. I have my children living away from me who are settled in their life and they do not need my physical or financial presence in their scheme of things. They are completely independent. Though they would tolerate my stay with them I and my wife do not want to be intrusive/dependent and would like to live our lives independently away from them. Frequent or occasional visits would take care of the emotional needs.

3. Though we are spiritually inclined, we do not rub our faith on others. We do not tolerate others rubbing it on us either. We do understand that in a community living there will always a majority and minority in many matters. If we are the majority we can still accommodate the minority and go out of the way to make them feel comfortable and happy. If we are the minority we can keep to ourselves and live without any grudges or complaints with the majority keeping our identity in tact.

4. We are not snobs. We own a car because we can afford it and we know there are many in the community who can also afford and yet may have chosen to live without a car. We understand that these external trappings have no real value when it comes to relation between individuals. We respect people for their knowledge and compassion, We love people for their innocence, simplicity and beauty, we help people out of a realisation that we are luckier-thanks to God- and they are perhaps not that lucky. In short, nothing can put us off. We can live in any community and yet be ourselves happy. If there are rich snobs in our community we will leave them alone. They will have their other like minded friends each flaunting their possessions and we will enjoy the fun watching it. We have no value for them and they are not useful for us either.

5. Some of us are poor. We have just adequate pension to take care of our living. We too look for a community living which will make the cost of living cheaper for us. A community kitchen, shared services, common facilities all will take care of our need for budgeted expenses and kindred souls in the community will take care of our emotional needs.

So what do we look for:

1. A community in which there are rich snobs as well as hard nosed contented members. There should be scope for these divergent groups to live together peacefully each in his own way.

2. A community where a good common kitchen should be available which makes and serves tasty healthy food without any discrimination.

3. The community should have a good common laundry or should provide a washing machine to individual couples/members.

4. Adequate space for a long evening/morning walk(without any traffic hazard to bother about).

5. Adequate supply of good quality water.

6. Should have adequate number of guest rooms where visiting children can stay for a week or so.

7. A temple nearby or within reachable distance by a cheap mode of transport.

8. A visiting purohit who can help the members perform their religious rituals properly.

9. A visiting Doctor who visits the place once or twice in a month and also on calls

10. Should have wifi connection and other modern communication facilities.

 

[krish44]

vaagmi ji
you have articulated pretty well the the minimal expectations of a retirement community most look for.
whether they are practically realisable is highly doubtful.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Those who are articulate have explained their view of what is an ideal retirement home/community and what is their idea of an ideal retirement life in such a home. The community is largely represented by people who can not be so articulate because they are the majority. Now let us see what will be their representative expectations (this excludes those who are dependent completely on their children-both financially and physically because their case is not fit for a retirement home). I spoke to a few people and this is what I got:

First about myself.

1. I am a retired person with a monthly steady income by way of pension. My wife is eligible for family pension after my death. I have a mediclaim policy which will take care of my illnesses and medical needs upto to 70 years. Then I will have to touch my savings which are safely invested and keep growing which are adequate. I have my children living away from me who are settled in their life and they do not need my physical or financial presence in their scheme of things. They are completely independent. Though they would tolerate my stay with them I and my wife do not want to be intrusive/dependent and would like to live our lives independently away from them. Frequent or occasional visits would take care of the emotional needs.

3. Though we are spiritually inclined, we do not rub our faith on others. We do not tolerate others rubbing it on us either. We do understand that in a community living there will always a majority and minority in many matters. If we are the majority we can still accommodate the minority and go out of the way to make them feel comfortable and happy. If we are the minority we can keep to ourselves and live without any grudges or complaints with the majority keeping our identity in tact.

4. We are not snobs. We own a car because we can afford it and we know there are many in the community who can also afford and yet may have chosen to live without a car. We understand that these external trappings have no real value when it comes to relation between individuals. We respect people for their knowledge and compassion, We love people for their innocence, simplicity and beauty, we help people out of a realisation that we are luckier-thanks to God- and they are perhaps not that lucky. In short, nothing can put us off. We can live in any community and yet be ourselves happy. If there are rich snobs in our community we will leave them alone. They will have their other like minded friends each flaunting their possessions and we will enjoy the fun watching it. We have no value for them and they are not useful for us either.

5. Some of us are poor. We have just adequate pension to take care of our living. We too look for a community living which will make the cost of living cheaper for us. A community kitchen, shared services, common facilities all will take care of our need for budgeted expenses and kindred souls in the community will take care of our emotional needs.

So what do we look for:

1. A community in which there are rich snobs as well as hard nosed contented members. There should be scope for these divergent groups to live together peacefully each in his own way.

2. A community where a good common kitchen should be available which makes and serves tasty healthy food without any discrimination.

3. The community should have a good common laundry or should provide a washing machine to individual couples/members.

4. Adequate space for a long evening/morning walk(without any traffic hazard to bother about).

5. Adequate supply of good quality water.

6. Should have adequate number of guest rooms where visiting children can stay for a week or so.

7. A temple nearby or within reachable distance by a cheap mode of transport.

8. A visiting purohit who can help the members perform their religious rituals properly.

9. A visiting Doctor who visits the place once or twice in a month and also on calls

10. Should have wifi connection and other modern communication facilities.

All the communities I have seen have all these facilities. These are the basic requirements for Retirement Communities. These communities add to these basic facilities. Like a library, Recreation Room, Gymnasium etc.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

A Hassle Free Retirement Township.

Not an Old Age Home.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I will post pictures of different Retirement communities,

 

[tbs]

View attachment 3458

I will post pictures of different Retirement communities,

hi sir,

these looklike modern agraharams....ONLY STRUCTURE IS DIFFERENT.....just my view sir....

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear T B S Sir,

You may like to go through the pages in the following link:

Shankara agrahaaram

 

[krish44]

Dear T B S Sir,

You may like to go through the pages in the following link:

Shankara agrahaaram

RRji
I found the contents posted in the link very interesting. from the bookings done ,it appears a large section of brahmin community aspires for this kind of life after retirement.If they can get it at a low cost why not.?. I know of a relative who sold off all his city assets and after distributing some of the money to his kids , retired to his village near chennai- Tiruvadanthai-a divya desam for vaishnavites and handed over a huge donation to temple there in return for three times food and privileges for worship at the temple. He stays next door to the temple now with his wife.He would like his children to leave him alone.The brahmin community is hungering to return to their roots and would like to live in seclusion with other brahmins sharing their vision and thinking for living far away from other communities.This could be a kind of escapism from rigours and pressures of city living

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

Good to know that you like the contents in the link Shankara agrahaaram.
One of my brothers in law has chosen to settle in his ancestral home in a village, to lead a life similar to his 'mirAsdhAr' father! eace:

His wife finds it difficult to adjust to that sort of life - milk and banana in the morning; then go to the field to supervise the workers;

pooja till noon; lunch much later, around 2 pm; no television; no running water in the kitchen and so on..... She is happy that at least

an overhead tank is constructed to pump the well water and shower and taps are fixed in the bathroom and toilets. Previously, we had
to draw water from the well for all the uses! :ballchain:

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

Good to know that you like the contents in the link Shankara agrahaaram.
One of my brothers in law has chosen to settle in his ancestral home in a village, to lead a life similar to his 'mirAsdhAr' father! eace:

His wife finds it difficult to adjust to that sort of life - milk and banana in the morning; then go to the field to supervise the workers;

pooja till noon; lunch much later, around 2 pm; no television; no running water in the kitchen and so on..... She is happy that at least

an overhead tank is constructed to pump the well water and shower and taps are fixed in the bathroom and toilets. Previously, we had
to draw water from the well for all the uses! :ballchain:

I am thinking of visiting my relative to find out how he is faring in the village.He has cut himself off from the world. definitely ,village life is
not very comfortable for ladies specifically with water,electricity ,transportation hastles.medicare can also bea big issue. the status of public health care in villages is appalling. the villages may have great temples but not decent toilets and drainage. I shudder to think of those who exercise such options willingly.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Moving to Retirement Community means disposing off all unnecessary furniture and equipment. Changing banks and a whole lot of other things. Many people who go to Retirement communities avoid this by retaining their present residence. They take the accommodation in the community on rent or short term lease. They shuttle between the Retirement Community and their residence.

We found that this practice is very common especially in the active retirement communities. Of course then there are people who spend six months in a year with
the children abroad. Though the parents do visit the children in India it is for a shorter period. Of course the reasons are obvious.

In a couple of Retirement Communities we found that most of the residents were temperory. The main reason is that most people find it difficult to cut themselves off completely from their present life.

Many of them are in the trial stage. They take the accommodation on rent or short term lease. It sounds strange that people who have been staying for years n a community refer to a HOME outside. They do not want to accept that the Retirement Community is their home now.

 

[krish44]

i think those in retirement communities think of it as an additional home. they cannot relinquish their old life style. the links in your old place are
difficult to give up. IMHO if they are able to stay for a few months every year when there is bad weather in normal home and treat retirement home as an alternate home ,then they can cope better with life . but that would call for financial sacrifice of maintaining two homes. since they are taking it on short term rent or lease ,it should be OK

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

If you see all the retirement Communities in and around Coimbatore, you would find the vast majority of the residents have shifted permanently.

Older residents do shift permanently.

Relinquishing the old lifestyle and links is done by many people after retirement. We did it more than 10 years back. Independent living. This is what happens in a nuclear family. The husband and wife are left alone when the children leave home for education and then employment. Once the husband retires, they could move to a place of their choice far away from the madding crowd of the cities.

 

[kunjuppu]

.......... Once the husband retires, they could move to a place of their choice far away from the madding crowd of the cities.

i would have thought, that the elder parents, while many still living by themselves, might desire to live 'close' to their children.

definition of 'close' is one's level of comfort, anywhere from a portion/basement of the child's house, to the same neighbourhood or the same city.

staying within 'comfort close' is beneficial for both. from the child viewpoint, if the parent has an emergency, it can be taken care of, with ease and immediate. the farther away one is, more time consuming and logistically difficult it becomes.

i lived in canada, during the peak times of my dad's illness. every night, i used to dread for that long distance call from madras, on hearing which, i had to rush to book tickets, pack up, get work permission, leave my young family alone for weeks and rush to india, arriving there already a basket case, and immediately start bearing the brunt of the crisis to relieve mom.

after three such crisis, dad died.

immediately, i went about getting mom canadian residency. which dad had refused. i had enough of such angst for a lifetime, and did not want to repeat the same for mom. mom came, hated canada, and ultimately died in india, of her choice and love. but that is another story.

 

[krish44]

i would have thought, that the elder parents, while many still living by themselves, might desire to live 'close' to their children.

definition of 'close' is one's level of comfort, anywhere from a portion/basement of the child's house, to the same neighbourhood or the same city.

staying within 'comfort close' is beneficial for both. from the child viewpoint, if the parent has an emergency, it can be taken care of, with ease and immediate. the farther away one is, more time consuming and logistically difficult it becomes.

i lived in canada, during the peak times of my dad's illness. every night, i used to dread for that long distance call from madras, on hearing which, i had to rush to book tickets, pack up, get work permission, leave my young family alone for weeks and rush to india, arriving there already a basket case, and immediately start bearing the brunt of the crisis to relieve mom.

after three such crisis, dad died.

immediately, i went about getting mom canadian residency. which dad had refused. i had enough of such angst for a lifetime, and did not want to repeat the same for mom. mom came, hated canada, and ultimately died in india, of her choice and love. but that is another story.

dear Kunjuppu sir
One good post in retirement community
I do not understand that parents in old age liking to live far away from their children
If they cannnot live under the same roof , they can live live nearby -the distance being in the comfort zone of both parents and children. Old parents need to realise they might require help and should be in easy reach of children . this should enable them to get help at least in a medical emergency.The children,in many cases ,however much wanting to help parents are unable to do much due to logistics and work pressures and have to twiddle there thumbs ,fret and fume besides dreading the inevitable
A family model where the location of parents and children need to get drawn rigidly is an answer.
when our joint family got disintegrated some thirty years back we ensured everyone in the extended family bought flats/houses in 2-4 kilometres of each other. some could have afforded better localities but a part of the city where every body could afford to buy a flat was deliberately chosen . it was bit of a sacrifice. it paid us rich dividends. we have a good back up for emergencies.families continue to be close knit. similarly spreading wings to locate housing in every upcoming metro to suit next generation is a requirement. places like bangalore ,hyderabad ,pune,chennai are becoming work destinations . there is sense to have a presence in these cities even it is a small piece of land . the next generation will bless you for this small wisdom

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

Mostly girls wish to live near their parents. If you see the matrimonial sites, most of the girls employed in MNCs in metros, wish to choose a

guy, willing to relocate to their city. Then choose a flat near their parent's house and settle down! This helps them in rearing the kids later on!

But, what about the parents who have their off springs settled abroad? The affluent / upper middle class parents choose one of the

senior citizen's homes according to their taste, so that they could have a secure and peaceful living!

 

[tbs]

hi

many parents are opting retirement communities/old age home not for selfish choice...its sometimes very neccesity to survive....

but sometimes difference of opinion between kids/parents.....sometimes old parents need freedom/independent.....so every

situation is unique....we can not compare with old genration parents with modern parents.....kids are very different too

sometimes daughter /son may like to keep parents with them.....but daughter in law/son in law different..recently i saw

an ad abt A/C in sun tv during morning news....abt a son in law with father in law ad....so its tough situations with tough

decisions......its not their choice...may be an alternative.....

 

[krish44]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

Mostly girls wish to live near their parents. If you see the matrimonial sites, most of the girls employed in MNCs in metros, wish to choose a

guy, willing to relocate to their city. Then choose a flat near their parent's house and settle down! This helps them in rearing the kids later on!

But, what about the parents who have their off springs settled abroad? The affluent / upper middle class parents choose one of the

senior citizen's homes according to their taste, so that they could have a secure and peaceful living!

MNC marriages are only week end marriages and mnc couples are forced to opt for living in extension of girls' homes- in fact most of the men are only ghar jamai's . they have to put up with the girls parents which many would not have bargained for before marriage. many MNC girls openly now indicate their preference for men near their parental homes in matrimonial sites I do not know about the men they are able to trap into such marriages.in many cases , the parents of the men are left to fend for themselves in this arrangement.
for those settled abroad, of course , parents are condemned to retirement homes . of course retirement homes abroad for NRI is an option. there is no peaceful living for them or their children. that is the harsh reality

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

Somehow you seem to hate retirement resorts (r.r)!

I have found these facts from friends who have settled in r.rs:

1. Childless couple opt to move to r.r on 20 years lease because they need not bother about the enhancement of the value deposited.

(Anyway, one of their relatives may be the beneficiaries / the sum is to be donated!)

2. Those who wish to give monetary benefit to children opt for ownership cottage / apartment, since real estate value escalates!

3. The affluent seniors opt for a r.r according to their taste - only brahmins; all communities; posh surroundings etc.

4. Those who spend half of the year abroad with their children can lock up their cottage and be tension free because of security.

5. Those who wish to participate in bhajans and listen to discourses wish to settle down in r. rs with such groups.

P.S: If the mAmA is very choosy about food, then his better half is left to NO other option than settle in r.rs which allow self cooking!