Retirement Communities

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hi
one thing i heard that the death of any member in retirement communities very depressing...even we have to die one day...

but very close net community member's death affect more.. i think so...

 

[krish44]

Despite all the attractiveness after retirement Singapore is not the best place in terms of cost of living, unless you have some dependents who will take care of you!

Medical costs especially if you take the private ones are exorbitant..

The Government doctors are not that good and you will be forced to go to Private...One of my relations had a severe inflammation of the eye and it was very badly treated by Government doctor , that it relapsed after some time and affected the other eye too..Ultimately they had to go to another private specialist who saved the eyes!

Also getting servants is not easy as mentioned earlier! So at old age doing all the house chores is very strenuous!

getting medically treated in singapore is a big hastle.firstly ,one cannot get medicines over the counter at a chemist shop without prescription. one has to take an appointment even from a GP to get treated who will decide when to meet you.charges are exorbitant besides poor quality of doctors. but their speciality hospitals for specific treatment such as kidneys etc are good. many in india go there for it.
the cost of living matches western countries. it is n open economy with high salaries and high costs. but inflation is low ,tax rates 10 percent and interest rates 4 percent.
so living is costly and not good for senior citizen to live there . but OK for a holiday ifyou would like to stay for a couple of weeks or so . since it is a small city state ,after a week or so you would have a mad desire to escape to a neighbouring country to breathe free and feel like a human being. if you are from india. the rules,regulations and discipline will not suit you and you would miss the disorganised ,noisy environment of free india

 

[krish44]

today ,I read a very depressing news about a retirement community for mentally and physically challenged senior citizen in vasant kunj ,south delhi. they had earlier been housed in old age home leased from DDA the housing agency. once the lease expired, they were forced to go on the roads. a local NGO arranged for make shift tents for them nearby in a plot of land taken on rent by them. some of the tents caught fire due to a short circuit/cylinder blast . two mentally/physically challenged were burnt to death and two more are critical in hospital. when you read about such incidents, one feels depressed and angry.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I am sorry that a wrong impression is being created about these Communities. Unfortunately there are members in this forum who post against this Communities without visiting any of them. Their posts reveal their ignorance about these communities.

I am going to a resort with all the modern facilities. We are looking forward to it.

It is ridiculous to say the least to club the people in these Retirement Communities with Destitute old people.

I have posted about how this is a Dream fulfilled for me and my wife.But some members want to have the pleasure of calling all the people who stay in these Retirement Communities as destitutes. They seem to derive great pleasure in calling people who have invested anywhere between 50 to 100 lakhs in a property and who drive around in Sedans as Destitutes. They would like to portray them as people who have been abandoned by their children and relatives. My threads were started to counter these wrong views.

Many of the posts in this and other thread about Retirement Communities are Insulting. But they also reveal intolerant mind sets and Ignorance. Even earlier threads have suffered the same fate.

Some of the members consider staying with their children as the only way for older people to live. They condemn people who do not agree with this view.

I have started this thread for providing information about the Retirement Communities.

Members who would want to condemn these communities and post Vitriolic and Insulting comments about the the residents of these communities could start their own threads.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

My packers are coming tomorrow. Packing off the computers.

So I will be off the forum till the end of April as I have to get new Electricity and Internet connection at the new place.

 

[vgane]

getting medically treated in singapore is a big hastle.firstly ,one cannot get medicines over the counter at a chemist shop without prescription. one has to take an appointment even from a GP to get treated who will decide when to meet you.charges are exorbitant besides poor quality of doctors. but their speciality hospitals for specific treatment such as kidneys etc are good. many in india go there for it.
the cost of living matches western countries. it is n open economy with high salaries and high costs. but inflation is low ,tax rates 10 percent and interest rates 4 percent.
so living is costly and not good for senior citizen to live there . but OK for a holiday ifyou would like to stay for a couple of weeks or so . since it is a small city state ,after a week or so you would have a mad desire to escape to a neighbouring country to breathe free and feel like a human being. if you are from india. the rules,regulations and discipline will not suit you and you would miss the disorganised ,noisy environment of free india

Dear Krishji,

The Coimbatore ones are really good..Some of my friends have taken up retirement villas there...Villas by Serene etc are class...Please have a look at them..Even in NDTV Profit there is a mention of these communities....When I go to Coimbatore next , I plan to see some of them!

 

[krish44]

Dear Krishji,

The Coimbatore ones are really good..Some of my friends have taken up retirement villas there...Villas by Serene etc are class...Please have a look at them..Even in NDTV Profit there is a mention of these communities....When I go to Coimbatore next , I plan to see some of them!

vganeji
still in india it is more a realty play. big builders like tatas , etc are buying huge parcels of lands outside cities and building gated high rises with flats and villas along with swimming pool,gym,clubhouse with a few senior friendly facilities and selling them at fancy prices. services as such of least concern to them. senior citizens may end up exchanging bad services [lack of servants etc] in cities with equally bad services at these retirement flats with loneliness and death in proximity also thrown in . I do not know if it is a good exchange

 

[kunjuppu]

vganeji
...senior citizens may end up exchanging bad services [lack of servants etc] in cities with equally bad services at these retirement flats with loneliness and death in proximity also thrown in . I do not know if it is a good exchange

dear krish,

with increased overall prosperity, it is only a matter of time, before the concept 'servants' fades from our society.

for example, british society had the 'servant class' distinct, till after the world war 2, when massive social changes brought out the demise of the same. the mid to upper classes, who then , viewed having servants as a 'right' went through a massive mental shift, and today the only ones in britain who can afford servants are the mittals and arab chiefs .

i have laughs when my elderly relatives in india growl in anger at the 'thimir' of the servants, demanding a few thousand rupees for a few hours a day, and walking off even at the slightest correction.

each time we go to chennai, we bribe my mother in law's servant. mil is of the old school, constantly finding fault, paying least and overall a micro manager. this time, i found some of her words to her servant, so offensive, i apologized to that young lady, and asked her not to take to heart some of the exhortations from an 80 year old.

'dont worry saar, i too have a mother in law' replied the 30 something, and went about her way, doing exactly what she did. dont know how long this one would last.

in my younger days, 60 year old men servants used to be addressed by young kids, by their first name without respect. same went for old ladies too. when i think about all that now, i shudder, at our insensitivities.

here in toront we have cleaners come regularly to clean our homes. not daily like india. we treat them like humans, offer coffee in the same mugs that we drink, have given them samples of dosai and upma. these are whites, ukrainians, very amenable to indians and hard working. they leave the house spotlesslessly clean, 2 women in 21/2 hours. it does not take long for my children to mess it up again. but that is another story...

back to india, do we ever wonder, what happens when the servants themselves get old. do they hire servants too? my singapore relatives used to hire malay maids years ago, when malaysia was still relatively poorer than now. and in turn, the malay maid used to import maids to indonesia or philippines to look after HER kids and household. was fascinated by it all .. ie the need to have servants.

my mom never had one. cleaned the toilets herself, and i never knew the 'significance' of it, till much later, when i came to understand 'caste'. to me, even now, though we have maids, i clean, and tell my kids, to brush the toilets clean, after use. i dont think it is anyone's job but our own, to clean up after our own mess. the one exception being the infirm.

though i address this to krish, it is not for him and do apologize to krish, if it sounds rather abrasive. not meant to be, but need to get the idea across, that 'servants' is not a right. it is a privilge than money can buy.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

You will be happy to read this post! During my recent visit to Bangalore, my niece told me that the committee

of the servants maids of her colony have a rule, to refer any servant maid as 'her name + aunty' to the kids!

So, when the door bell rang, one of the kids ran shouting, 'Amudha aunty vandhaachchu!'

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

You will be happy to read this post! During my recent visit to Bangalore, my niece told me that the committee

of the servants maids of her colony have a rule, to refer any servant maid as 'her name + aunty' to the kids!

So, when the door bell rang, one of the kids ran shouting, 'Amudha aunty vandhaachchu!'

dear raji,

dear good lady, i was delighted to read this. yes, those who clean our homes and our mess, are more 'aunties' to us than those visitors, who come and mess it up in the first place.

to be frank, mrs K shudders, when we have guests from india, particularly men alone. the bathroom is a mess of water all over ,and to top it off, the toilet bowl - not quite the state it was in before it was used.

i am of the thick sensitivity sort, and usually end up cleaning it. the kids too would not go anywhere near it. such is our great civilization.

i am now reading a book, 'the BIG necessity - the unmentionable world of human wasete.. and why it matters' by rose george. yes it is about THAT STUFF, that we push out, regularly every morning, as per our culture. awesome book.

over a lifetime, if we add up, we spend 3 full years, on an average, defecating. and more of many many hilarious stuff. i was peeling with laughter, so much, that my daughter is in line for the book when i finish it.

 

[kunjuppu]

a very poignant neeyaa naanna. today..

neeya naana with p.a.krishnan and bharati mani

[video]http://www.tubetamil.com/tamil-tv-shows/vijay-tv-shows/neeya-naana/neeya-naana-06-04-2014-vijay-tv-neeya-naana-april-06th-2014-neeya-naana-gopinath-show.html[/video]

very poignant show. heart warming..and satisfying too.

related to the topic of this thread.

God Bless..

 

[krish44]

dear krish,

with increased overall prosperity, it is only a matter of time, before the concept 'servants' fades from our society.

for example, british society had the 'servant class' distinct, till after the world war 2, when massive social changes brought out the demise of the same. the mid to upper classes, who then , viewed having servants as a 'right' went through a massive mental shift, and today the only ones in britain who can afford servants are the mittals and arab chiefs .

i have laughs when my elderly relatives in india growl in anger at the 'thimir' of the servants, demanding a few thousand rupees for a few hours a day, and walking off even at the slightest correction.

each time we go to chennai, we bribe my mother in law's servant. mil is of the old school, constantly finding fault, paying least and overall a micro manager. this time, i found some of her words to her servant, so offensive, i apologized to that young lady, and asked her not to take to heart some of the exhortations from an 80 year old.

'dont worry saar, i too have a mother in law' replied the 30 something, and went about her way, doing exactly what she did. dont know how long this one would last.

in my younger days, 60 year old men servants used to be addressed by young kids, by their first name without respect. same went for old ladies too. when i think about all that now, i shudder, at our insensitivities.

here in toront we have cleaners come regularly to clean our homes. not daily like india. we treat them like humans, offer coffee in the same mugs that we drink, have given them samples of dosai and upma. these are whites, ukrainians, very amenable to indians and hard working. they leave the house spotlesslessly clean, 2 women in 21/2 hours. it does not take long for my children to mess it up again. but that is another story...

back to india, do we ever wonder, what happens when the servants themselves get old. do they hire servants too? my singapore relatives used to hire malay maids years ago, when malaysia was still relatively poorer than now. and in turn, the malay maid used to import maids to indonesia or philippines to look after HER kids and household. was fascinated by it all .. ie the need to have servants.

my mom never had one. cleaned the toilets herself, and i never knew the 'significance' of it, till much later, when i came to understand 'caste'. to me, even now, though we have maids, i clean, and tell my kids, to brush the toilets clean, after use. i dont think it is anyone's job but our own, to clean up after our own mess. the one exception being the infirm.

though i address this to krish, it is not for him and do apologize to krish, if it sounds rather abrasive. not meant to be, but need to get the idea across, that 'servants' is not a right. it is a privilge than money can buy.

Kunjuppu ji
1.The concept of servant fading may be a desire -but not likely for atleast couple of decades
2. Your are not in tune with times when you say that domestics are ill treated . except a few senior citizens and housewives expecting perfection in work or close supervision might complain. otherwise most servants in metros are treated like delicate china which are not replaceable .
3In fact most domestics collect 200 rupees a day [working in minimum 2-3 houses] which adds to husbands income of 300 rs a day.most live in unauthorised colonies in their own or rented flats [1 BHK} their children go to school-[mostly govt]. most commute to work in e rickshaws -battery operated e rickshaws shared with other domestics. They get their weekly holiday and further cut when it pleases them. most work from 6 to 11 am max. older single ones get govt pension 1500 rs a month.most have gas connections given by govt. tamil nadu has given so many freebies for them.

4since most double income middle class families need them early morning ,they come at a premium and set terms. they are very mobile and change jobs if a harsh word is spoken or close supervision is undertaken.We have added 'amma' to their names so that they get respected automatically by youngsters.
5those who clean toilets at least in delhi are all municipal workers who take it up as additional work to be done weekends ,or holidays and are a different category.They are not part of the domestics who belong to higher caste categories.
6The lifestyle of domestics has improved . My domestics sport gold chain,bangles and ear rings.besides good clothes. My toilet cleaner uses cosmetics ,powder ,lipstick when she goes to work and is just another working woman.most have mobiles. many have fans ,tv sets ,frigs -may be second hand in north or given by govt in south.
7only grouse for them is that middle class has collected huge salaries due to MNCs and govt pay revisions and differences between middle class and domestics has widened leading to some heart burns

 

[tbs]

neeya naana with p.a.krishnan and bharati mani

[video]http://www.tubetamil.com/tamil-tv-shows/vijay-tv-shows/neeya-naana/neeya-naana-06-04-2014-vijay-tv-neeya-naana-april-06th-2014-neeya-naana-gopinath-show.html[/video]

very poignant show. heart warming..and satisfying too.

related to the topic of this thread.

God Bless..

hi K sir,

thanks....nice show by gopinath...as usual....but i feel this group is basically from upper middle class/upper class...but i think

low middle class is not the same....especially tambram joint family members...life is bliss...we have to live...

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

I guess you can obtain a doctorate degree by your research about domestic helpers.

Why don't you enroll your name and start preparing papers! :typing:

 

[sarang]

I am led to think that indian guests visiting american continent do it intentionally as retaliation for snobbishness; since this has happened over (or repeated) hundred times in different topics and threads, what is not clear is whether the same guest made hundred trips or hundred guests visited!

There is a big 20x5 ft sign in a few roads - "keep your city clean; you don't throw rubbish when you visit a foreign country; why do it here?" Implying that only those who go abroad do the dirtying. I will take a pic and post it when I cross the sign again. People who keep the toilets clean in their homes, but do the dirtying outside must belong to this category.

Anyway the unclean gang must be given training or 'boxing the ears'!

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

You will be happy to read this post! During my recent visit to Bangalore, my niece told me that the committee

of the servants maids of her colony have a rule, to refer any servant maid as 'her name + aunty' to the kids!

So, when the door bell rang, one of the kids ran shouting, 'Amudha aunty vandhaachchu!'

This reminds me of the incident that happened a few years back when we (family) were visiting a relative in Delhi. The relative had settled down in Delhi and his children were all growing up as Delhiites. One day the young boy of the family excitedly told his father who came home from work "Daddy, meine dekha. billiji ne ek chuhaji ko khaya. Poor chuhaji". I came to know that that was the result of insistence that the child should respectfully add a ji to every name. LOL.

 

[Raji Ram]

In Tamil a similar story is told!

A teacher asked to add 'thiru' to give respect and when the bell rang, one little boy shouted 'thiru-dan, thiru-dan, thiru-dan',

to imitate the 'dan dan dan' sound of the bell. Everyone started running helter-skelter, expecting an attack by a thief!

 

[sarang]

Tamil TV shows are in the forefront. Even three year old kids are given enormous respect - neenga, vaanga, ponga - it is ludicrous and definitely odd!

 

[sushi55]

vganeji
still in india it is more a realty play. big builders like tatas , etc are buying huge parcels of lands outside cities and building gated high rises with flats and villas along with swimming pool,gym,clubhouse with a few senior friendly facilities and selling them at fancy prices. services as such of least concern to them. senior citizens may end up exchanging bad services [lack of servants etc] in cities with equally bad services at these retirement flats with loneliness and death in proximity also thrown in . I do not know if it is a good exchange

Dear Shri Krish44,

Please pardon me when I say that your comments tend to go negative and seems one sided. Yes - we agree Indian metros have maid (we don't call them sevants nowadays) or assistance problem . The reason could be taken in a positive manner to say that many poor children are getting educated and go in for better jobs or in a negative manner that today's youngsters may even go for bullying or stealing than doing hard work.

Coming to the maid problem, that is more prevailing in single households than in retirement homes. I can say authoritatively as myself and my hubby stay in a retirement home .If one maid is absent, then they sent a different maid for that day. Sometimes when many are absent like pongal or deepavali festive season, then dusting the windows/ bathroom cleaning are done to the minimum. I am quite satisfied with the maid system because when we lived in our own accommodation, we always had the maid problem. This was particularly when we return from abroad after a long stay and the house remaining a mess. Even though we had paid for the absent period so that when we come back she will be there, still on the day of return she will not be there and we are made to clean the house. Now I find it very comfortable when after a long journey staying with grandchildren, the joy is kept alive by ready food waiting for you on your return and the thought that a maid will be there to clean the apartment is in itself very comforting.

So please visit some senior citizen homes, stay there in the guest rooms provided, see the facilities given and then please feel free to air your views.

I am not saying that retirement homes are heaven.. yes there is something amiss.. however much you keep active, there is still time to think.. but if you weigh the pros and cons, I would say the pros weigh more when we take into account, the security, comforts and food.

Sometimes I tell myself 'choti mooh badi baath' (you are too small to talk on this issue) stilll my two cents thoughts.

 

[krish44]

Dear Shri Krish44,

Please pardon me when I say that your comments tend to go negative and seems one sided. Yes - we agree Indian metros have maid (we don't call them sevants nowadays) or assistance problem . The reason could be taken in a positive manner to say that many poor children are getting educated and go in for better jobs or in a negative manner that today's youngsters may even go for bullying or stealing than doing hard work.

Coming to the maid problem, that is more prevailing in single households than in retirement homes. I can say authoritatively as myself and my hubby stay in a retirement home .If one maid is absent, then they sent a different maid for that day. Sometimes when many are absent like pongal or deepavali festive season, then dusting the windows/ bathroom cleaning are done to the minimum. I am quite satisfied with the maid system because when we lived in our own accommodation, we always had the maid problem. This was particularly when we return from abroad after a long stay and the house remaining a mess. Even though we had paid for the absent period so that when we come back she will be there, still on the day of return she will not be there and we are made to clean the house. Now I find it very comfortable when after a long journey staying with grandchildren, the joy is kept alive by ready food waiting for you on your return and the thought that a maid will be there to clean the apartment is in itself very comforting.

So please visit some senior citizen homes, stay there in the guest rooms provided, see the facilities given and then please feel free to air your views.

I am not saying that retirement homes are heaven.. yes there is something amiss.. however much you keep active, there is still time to think.. but if you weigh the pros and cons, I would say the pros weigh more when we take into account, the security, comforts and food.

Sometimes I tell myself 'choti mooh badi baath' (you are too small to talk on this issue) stilll my two cents thoughts.

thank you for your post regarding the facilities at one of the retirement homes you have stayed and liked .
I saw your earlier post with a you tube video where many senior citizen were joyfully doing rope walking.
I had requested you for the details of the home to try a stay there for a few days during summer holidays to allay my apprehensions about these homes.
I do not want my posts to give a one sided impression about these homes.
for me experiencing it would be believing and I am open to correction
I am delhi based and normally I spend 6 weeks in south india every summer . from may15th.I would like to stay in one of the homes for a few days to enjoy a different experience
Pl recommend me one in coimbotore/bangalore/chennai. pl PM me if you would not like to post it directly in the thread
with best wishes

 

[renuka]

This is something serious to consider..never really gave old age homes a thought..it sounds scary but at the same time when I am older I dont want anyone to bother me too.

I really cant stand any family get together sorts so may be a retirement home with total privacy might actually be a good option..but it better be near a jungle with a cascading waterfall with some cute monkeys!

 

[krish44]

are servants/maids are such a big issue in south of india to warrant running away from homes to retirement homes? besides they quote buying provisions and security as other reasons for movement to retirement homes
How servants/maids have been able to drive middle class to such desperation.
similarly people talked of errant autos in chennai until J moved in to regulate them and forced them to operate with meters reducing the intensity of the problem.
It might be a good idea if govt also fixes the wages and working terms for domestic servants.
In singapore ,the rates are fixed at 7 dollars/hr . govt also provide these workers with medical insurance. some institutions can also train them to operate keeping regular hours and groom them also . there are some NGOs in delhi training servants for stay in help at private homes of people. They take young ladies from slums and after training offer them for work. Many foreigners and MNC executives employ them for good wages.also some missionary groups also provide destitutes for home care of kids and the elderly requirements. but they come a bit expensive and they lay down strict rules of employment.
one of the issues these servants/maids face is abuse in homes of people. recently some house owners locked up their maids home and went off for short holidays. the neighbours and police had to rescue them

 

[sushi55]

thank you for your post regarding the facilities at one of the retirement homes you have stayed and liked .
I saw your earlier post with a you tube video where many senior citizen were joyfully doing rope walking.
I had requested you for the details of the home to try a stay there for a few days during summer holidays to allay my apprehensions about these homes.
I do not want my posts to give a one sided impression about these homes.
for me experiencing it would be believing and I am open to correction
I am delhi based and normally I spend 6 weeks in south india every summer . from may15th.I would like to stay in one of the homes for a few days to enjoy a different experience
Pl recommend me one in coimbotore/bangalore/chennai. pl PM me if you would not like to post it directly in the thread
with best wishes

In our retirement home, the guest room charges are 1800/- for a couple per day inclusive of full day food ecpenses. lovely AC rooms, with gym facillity , indoor games , library etc are included. I don't want to mention the name of the retirement lest I am seen as propagating the retiring home where we stay. If you can send me a private message I will give you the name and even book the guest rooms for a couple of days whenever you need. During vacations many children come and stay with their parents and many a times guest rooms are full too. So let me know or if you want to make just a visit then let me know so that i can give a guided tour of the retirement home. This invitation is for all those who wanted to experience the retirement room facilities.

 

[krish44]

In our retirement home, the guest room charges are 1800/- for a couple per day inclusive of full day food ecpenses. lovely AC rooms, with gym facillity , indoor games , library etc are included. I don't want to mention the name of the retirement lest I am seen as propagating the retiring home where we stay. If you can send me a private message I will give you the name and even book the guest rooms for a couple of days whenever you need. During vacations many children come and stay with their parents and many a times guest rooms are full too. So let me know or if you want to make just a visit then let me know so that i can give a guided tour of the retirement home. This invitation is for all those who wanted to experience the retirement room facilities.

sushi ji
thank you for yr offer
rates appear to be reasonable.
normally I stay at woodlands in chennai or hotel tamilnadu of tamilnadu tourism in coimbotore in Ac rooms in heart of the city the rates are about 2000 a day without meals and breakfast covered of course .Out of curiosity I do not mind trying the retirement home since so many discussions have taken place on this subject in this forum. mostly comments are from those who have not stayed for a long time there or have gone visiting a friend or relative there. very few have first hand experience like you. you should know better.
with best wishes
krish44

 

[krish44]

renukaji
i am thinking of visiting a retirement home out of curiosity. I will find out about your preferences of cascading waterfall and cute monkeys. the you tube posted by the member of the forum here showed a mountain trail with only people walking on ropes tied between high trees