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Tamil Brahmin.....

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athimber

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The inspiration to this thread was certain references towards our community in some recent threads of this forum. It is found in general that some of our friends got hurt because post of certain member shown tamil brahmin in poor light. Before going to that details can we discuss what exactly a tamil brahmin is? My intention here is not create panic but to create awareness among those who may be not that well versed with our culture. In fact I myself despite being a TB, am not familiar with many of our customs for reasons I have explained in my intro. So kindly excuse me and correct me in case I post anything wrong here. Despite all those exposure to the extra ordinary broad minded society, TBs some how remained more or less orthodox . As such many of modern day practices among other communities are found no favor with our TB community.

We all know the TB community is mainly divided into two viz. Iyers and Iyyangars. There are subdivisions too like Vadama, Brihacharanam and Vadakalai Tenkalai etc. Broadly speaking Iyers are Shivites and Iyyangars are Vaishnvaites which every one knows what I want to ask here is, is there any major difference in customs followed by Vadamals, Brihacharanams and many other sub sects under Iyers and similarly Vadakalai and Tenkalai etc among the other division of TB. Are marriages between the sub-sects permitted?
I am not sure whether this subject is already discussed in this forum. If so, please guide to the relevant post.
 
athimber said:
The inspiration to this thread was certain references towards our community in some recent threads of this forum. It is found in general that some of our friends got hurt because post of certain member shown tamil brahmin in poor light. Before going to that details can we discuss what exactly a tamil brahmin is? My intention here is not create panic but to create awareness among those who may be not that well versed with our culture. In fact I myself despite being a TB, am not familiar with many of our customs for reasons I have explained in my intro. So kindly excuse me and correct me in case I post anything wrong here. Despite all those exposure to the extra ordinary broad minded society, TBs some how remained more or less orthodox . As such many of modern day practices among other communities are found no favor with our TB community.

We all know the TB community is mainly divided into two viz. Iyers and Iyyangars. There are subdivisions too like Vadama, Brihacharanam and Vadakalai Tenkalai etc. Broadly speaking Iyers are Shivites and Iyyangars are Vaishnvaites which every one knows what I want to ask here is, is there any major difference in customs followed by Vadamals, Brihacharanams and many other sub sects under Iyers and similarly Vadakalai and Tenkalai etc among the other division of TB. Are marriages between the sub-sects permitted?
I am not sure whether this subject is already discussed in this forum. If so, please guide to the relevant post.
Click to expand...

We, Iyers, are not generally classified as Shaivites. We call ourselves as Advaithis, though Advaitham is not a religion.

In order to have broadbased approach, mainly to survive, though Iyers sport Holy Ash, they embrace everything coming under Hindu fold. Some of the best examples are recent mushrooming of Bhagavatha culture, chanting Narayana even by mutt heads sporting Holy Ash, distributing Bhagavatha's literature and chanting Rama and Krishna in Shiva Temples etc.
 
Dear Athimber Sir,

Almost all the threads reach a point when marriages of tambrahms are brought in the discussion! :)

Many of our girls are bold enough to choose their soul mates (whatever it means!) from other castes and religions.

This IS women empowerment! :thumb:

Even when the girls seek the parents to help in the 'search', they chat on pbone; video; in person, to finalize their mate!

Usually, this takes about one year. Very few girls give freedom to their parents to finalize the partner.

Most of the parents don't have any objection the in difference in sub-sects or difference in Iyer - IyengAr. :cool:

BTW, your forum name makes me feel that you are on in our family! :D

Mrs. R R
 
Athimber sir can be brought in for throwing his weight on the side of brahmin parents when they finalise marriage of their daughters.

Usually Athimbers have a crucial role in finalising matches.in brahmin community.

Of course Athimber is our family only.

Our forum is our family

Krish44
 
A TB is not a separate caste or division of what I like to call "Vedic Religion". Tamil is only an adjective that qualifies the Brahmin as one speaking the language of Tamil. So it just a social division among the larger Brahmin community. All humans are Brahmans. They can be descendants of Abraham and Sarah or Brahma and Saraswathi.(Notice the close phonetic similarity) We are all Brahma's Anu/Atom or Brahmanu or Brahman in Sanskrit. The only reason to choose a social sect is for commonality of social customs among that group. We have seen lots of mixed Iyer/Iyengar couples who either struggle with the dissimilarities or embrace both and live in harmony.

In general Iyengars are traditionally Vaishnavism by displaying the tirunamam on their forehead and Iyers tend towards shaivism by displaying the Holy ash on their forehead and even all over their body if they are staunch shaivites. For several generation since early 1900's Iyers have embraced both Vishnu and Shiva deities. Iyengars have also changed and become more tolerant of shaivism. Afterall, Rama did offer his prayers to Shiva at Rameshwaram to obtain the fighting powers needed to conquer Shiva's own devotee Ravana the Asuram King of Sri Lanka!

Let us all just follow the Vedic traditions prescribed for a peaceful human civilization. Look for similarities between your Vedic religion and other religions, of which there are plenty. Differences only divide peoples. So forget the Tamil part of the Tamil Brahmin. Just follow to your heart's content the Brahman way of life which is very simple and does no harm to any one. The only common goal is to seek the ultimate truth about this Almighty power we call God. There is no need to fight over whose "Truthful" realization is truer than any one else. Only in Science we have to prove. In Religion we don't have to prove just pure faith, that's all.
Abraham and Brahma are just the same and so are Sarah and Saraswathi(commonly nicknamed Sara or Saru).
There is no need to conjecture if Vishnu > Shiva or Shiva > Vishnu. Then what about Brahma?
God is the Combination of Generator(Brahma), Operator(Vishnu) and Destroyer(Shiva).

If any chooses to elaborate on these fundamentals of the Vedic Religion then please continue with additional thoughts along these lines.
 
Reference # 1 ,I see that he has just joined this Forum, rather to-day only. in the surname of Athimber, . It is not to be taken as AKKA"s husband/ Athimber , even for Fun , since he is new to this site. Hence the comments at #2 to # 5 by experienced Veterans may not be clear to him & may get confused. have not replied to his doubts directly ., The replies would help after he starts his writings for some more time.
A.Srinivasan
 
Please read the earlier post in which I have cleared all the doubts of Athimber Sir!

So, please do not worry. I like his forum name which makes him close to others! :cool:

100% advice / information will make our dear forum very dull, right Sir? :)
 
Aha, so that the difference between Veterans and newbies. Only veterans know all the answers and the newbies are newborns who can babble and the veterans listen to their "Mazhalai" and smiles at their childish innocence in the forums! A tamil saying translates like this "Empty vessels make more noise"
 
Raji Ram said:

Many of our girls are bold enough to choose their soul mates (whatever it means!) from other castes and religions.

This IS women empowerment! :thumb:
Click to expand...

Is choosing bridegroom from other religions and getting converted an act of boldness and empowerment? If it is true, why don't they try to convert the bridegrooms to Hindu fold? It is nothing but lack of interest in Hindu religion and utter selfishness.
 
In my extended vaishnavite brahmin family ,I had one christian who followed the hindu customs and rituals after marriage.He passed away recently.

He married as per hindu rituals and registered marriage.

He did gruhapravesam as per our rituals using his wifes gothra.lol

His daughter married a tamil brahmin.

I have also another who has married a syrian christian girl

They follow hindu rituals like shraddham for in laws[brahmin] and gruhapravesam.

She also followed her religion and organised church services for her father on his death.

Here there is a mix of both.
 
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krish44 said:
In my extended vaishnavite brahmin family ,I had one christian who followed the hindu customs and rituals after marriage.He passed away recently.

He married as per hindu rituals and registered marriage.

He did gruhapravesam as per our rituals using his wifes gothra.lol

His daughter married a tamil brahmin.

I have also another who has married a syrian christian girl

They follow hindu rituals like shraddham for in laws[brahmin] and gruhapravesam.

She also followed her religion and organised church services for her father on his death.

Here there is a mix of both.
Click to expand...

Did the Christian follow Hindu customs due to pressure from his wife - a Vaishnavite B as you said or on his own?

In any case, TB girls are definitely less serious about Hindu religion than TB boys. It may be due to giving more importance to physique than religion - customs / conventions.
 
CHANDRU1849 said:
Did the Christian follow Hindu customs due to pressure from his wife - a Vaishnavite B as you said or on his own?

In any case, TB girls are definitely less serious about Hindu religion than TB boys. It may be due to giving more importance to physique than religion - customs / conventions.
Click to expand...
I am unable to say whether wife coerced or persuaded the christian man to follow hindu customs.I never asked her .[too personal I suppose].

TB girls have a mind of their own and would like to choose someone they can feel comfortable with and bond well. Like men ,want girls to be pretty , girls like men to

be handsome and muscular. What is wrong with that?
 
raysundar said:
Aha, so that the difference between Veterans and newbies. Only veterans know all the answers and the newbies are newborns who can babble and the veterans listen to their "Mazhalai" and smiles at their childish innocence in the forums! A tamil saying translates like this "Empty vessels make more noise"
Click to expand...
OMG! That is a harsh comment! :brick:
We know very well that some newbies 'act' innocent and ask Q-s and veterans keep on answering them! :typing:

So sad!!!
 
Sri Sringeri Acharya approved for a wedding of Iyer boy with an IyengAr girl.

The boy's family is devoted to Sri Acharya and always follow his advice. :hail:
 
krish44 said:
.......... TB girls have a mind of their own and would like to choose someone they can feel comfortable with and bond well. Like men ,want girls to be pretty , girls like men to

be handsome and muscular. What is wrong with that?
Click to expand...
adak kadavuLE! Krish Sir! Do you mean to say that tambrahm boys are NOT handsome and muscular?

The most sought after group of tambram boys are the ones who are educated in the first ranked institutions. :thumb:
 
Demand is for TB boys who can think on their feet...Smart boys who can impress with their talk..Those who are practical & are smart in behavior (Looks is not prime) attract bright girls
 
Raji Ram said:
adak kadavuLE! Krish Sir! Do you mean to say that tambrahm boys are NOT handsome and muscular?

The most sought after group of tambram boys are the ones who are educated in the first ranked institutions. :thumb:
Click to expand...
Have I said that tambrahms are not handsome or muscular?

Sometimes putting emphasis only on education and not caring about personal grooming and not exercising [going to gym . etc] among TB boys besides not being free with

their money makes them undesirable company for girls.These types are called 'Padips' in local lingo and are left alone by others[ specially girls]
 
Frenz, As usual we are successfully changed track from the original thread except for a post by Rishikesan Sir and post no. 15. allow me to throw some more light on my intention for starting this post. I have been digging old posts in this forum and in many of them were found challenged by our members for one reason, inability of other member to understand our culture. My intention here is to fill that vacuum. Other than Cast, sect and sub-sects we have acharams and pazhakkams within our house holds. "engaathu pazhakkam enna nna"" goes the saying. So my request to members is to share the most commonly practiced habits among Iyer/Iyengar house holds so that others who are not well versed with it could understand (Even many city based TBs are not familiar with these customs you know..) and not cause any embarrassment by posting something contrary to that in this forum.

Well, I also noticed some posts with regards to my handle in this forum "Athimber" I also think I owe you a little clarification to that effect as well. It is the most respected relationship I have ever come across among tamil brahmin house holds. In fact I commanded a lot of respect in my family as being one. More over I owe much to my on athimber for whatever I am to day because it was he who took good care of my self in the early absence of my parents. So in a way it my way of remembering him whenever I use this title. Hope members would now understand my sentiments to this title. Thank you.

NB: By the way my name is Krishnan and any one wants to address me by that name is also okay with me although I would be happy to be known by my handle name..
 
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Athimber
Pl do not be offended.

We have understood our TB culture and moved away from it mostly sometimes consciously to adapt to needs of modern living.

So no sense in researching on TB ways.

Here we have the facility of starting new threads.

So under a different head you can have more discussions.

You can have a thread on athimbers alone .or wonga veetu pazakkam different from others or anything else under the sun.

But something is discussed before , someone will give a link to that thread.
 
krish44 said:
Athimber
Pl do not be offended.

We have understood our TB culture and moved away from it mostly sometimes consciously to adapt to needs of modern living.

So no sense in researching on TB ways.
Click to expand...
Dear Shri Krish,

It is indeed necessary to adapt to modern living but need no be at the expense of culture. One can be modern in the exterior but maintain culture at heart.
 
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