• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Unequal genders?

Status
Not open for further replies.
kunjuppu said:
i just met some relatives from coimbatore. they are living in an old age home and love it.
one is a widowed lady in her 80s, son in b'lore. wishes of her own to live in brindavan, mainly for the social group. she is deeply into bhajan music and such, and has no problems having a gang to sing with and socialize.

another is a couple, related to the lady above, with both daughters in the usa. they visit once a year during summer, but are happy again to go back to brindavan.

the relative, who is the brother of the above two, would have had no issue living in brindavan, but for his sons, both in the usa, got him the necessary papers. and are rich enough to provide health coverage. in fact he envied the lifestyle and comforts of his siblings.
Click to expand...

Dear Sri Kunjuppu,

As an octogenarian of 82 years, I wish to share my thoughts on the subject. When I grew older and looked back, I understood that life does not function on text-book guidelines. There is no one to tell us this is better or that is better in shaping our life. Each one has to find his/her own solution to the problems that he/she had to face. Just like a Card game, "we have to play the game with the cards dealt to us" at birth.

Living with family or in an oldage home is one's personal choice, basing on circumstances and the comfort level that we seek. I and my wife feel happy to live with our only son, daughter-in-law and grand daughters. My son and DIL are in full time jobs. Thus,we make ourselves useful to the family. As in any other family living togather we do confront differences due to generation gap. But we iron out and proceed. My wife is deeply involved in religious activities and being an active person by nature, she spends her time in groups learning and reciting scriptures (slokas), bhajans etc apart from assisting in kitchen. I consider her as the anchor of the family. As for me ,I am just a knowledge seeker, but a free thinker who reads a lot. I have no fixed goal in life. I understood that the path of our life is predestined by some force at birth itself. I have no choice in selecting my birth, neither the course of my life. I play the game to the best of my ability.

That is life.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
Beating up of a wife is something common to all men in the world. What the Brahmin Women are subjected to is humiliation, Cruelty and Ill treatment sanctioned and sanctified by Hindu religion. Or at least their interpretation of the religion. In this forum people have justified the disrobing of Dhrowpadhi, the near rape of Parimala (Surpanaka) and other such incidents from epics/Puranas quoting religion and Sasthras.
 
Brahmanyan said:
I have no fixed goal in life. I understood that the path of our life is predestined by some force at birth itself. I have no choice in selecting my birth, neither the course of my life. I play the game to the best of my ability.

That is life.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
Click to expand...


Dear Sir,

Your post reminded me of this song lyrics:


thaayai therndhekkum
thandhayai therndhekkum
urimai unnidhathil illai

mugaththai therndhekkum
niraththai therndhekkum
urimai unnidhathil illai

pirappai therndhekkum
irappai therndhekkum
urimai unnidhathil illai

eNNi paarkkum vELaiyil
un vaazhkai mattum
undhan kaiyil undu
adhai vendridu
 
Accommodation, adjustment, sublimation. True vanaprasta style.

Brahmanyan said:
Dear Sri Kunjuppu,

As an octogenarian of 82 years, I wish to share my thoughts on the subject. When I grew older and looked back, I understood that life does not function on text-book guidelines. There is no one to tell us this is better or that is better in shaping our life. Each one has to find his/her own solution to the problems that he/she had to face. Just like a Card game, "we have to play the game with the cards dealt to us" at birth.

Living with family or in an oldage home is one's personal choice, basing on circumstances and the comfort level that we seek. I and my wife feel happy to live with our only son, daughter-in-law and grand daughters. My son and DIL are in full time jobs. Thus,we make ourselves useful to the family. As in any other family living togather we do confront differences due to generation gap. But we iron out and proceed. My wife is deeply involved in religious activities and being an active person by nature, she spends her time in groups learning and reciting scriptures (slokas), bhajans etc apart from assisting in kitchen. I consider her as the anchor of the family. As for me ,I am just a knowledge seeker, but a free thinker who reads a lot. I have no fixed goal in life. I understood that the path of our life is predestined by some force at birth itself. I have no choice in selecting my birth, neither the course of my life. I play the game to the best of my ability.

That is life.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
Click to expand...
 
Brahmanyan said:
Dear Sri Kunjuppu,

As an octogenarian of 82 years, I wish to share my thoughts on the subject. When I grew older and looked back, I understood that life does not function on text-book guidelines. There is no one to tell us this is better or that is better in shaping our life. Each one has to find his/her own solution to the problems that he/she had to face. Just like a Card game, "we have to play the game with the cards dealt to us" at birth.

Living with family or in an oldage home is one's personal choice, basing on circumstances and the comfort level that we seek. I and my wife feel happy to live with our only son, daughter-in-law and grand daughters. My son and DIL are in full time jobs. Thus,we make ourselves useful to the family. As in any other family living togather we do confront differences due to generation gap. But we iron out and proceed. My wife is deeply involved in religious activities and being an active person by nature, she spends her time in groups learning and reciting scriptures (slokas), bhajans etc apart from assisting in kitchen. I consider her as the anchor of the family. As for me ,I am just a knowledge seeker, but a free thinker who reads a lot. I have no fixed goal in life. I understood that the path of our life is predestined by some force at birth itself. I have no choice in selecting my birth, neither the course of my life. I play the game to the best of my ability.

That is life.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
Click to expand...

Sir,

Pranams,


Nice posting Sir. I relish every word of it. especially this one “I consider her as the anchor of the family”. This is the fact in most of the families. If they are allowed to take Drivers seat, they actually excel us. It is my personal experience. While you speak genuinely through your heart, most prefer to speak only through their mind. That is the difference. The other one “I am just a knowledge seeker”. Hats off.


With regards
 
We all remember how Smt. Nithyasree Mahadevan was given a hard time

since her husband decided to end his life by jumping into koovam - of all the rivers!

MOST People are biased against women ...not in favor of women! :nono:
 
Raji Ram said:

As I wrote earlier, Brahmanyan Sir is a blessed soul!
God bless his family! :pray2:
Click to expand...

Dear Raji Ma'am,

Indeed your words echo my feelings. I always feel God almighty has blessed me more than I deserve in this life. Of course I have also faced many hurdles in my path of life, that is all in the game of life. I learnt some lesson in every failure and suffering in my life, for which I was/am only the cause.
Wishing you well,:pray2:
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
Nacchinarkiniyan said:
Beating up of a wife is something common to all men in the world. What the Brahmin Women are subjected to is humiliation, Cruelty and Ill treatment sanctioned and sanctified by Hindu religion. Or at least their interpretation of the religion. In this forum people have justified the disrobing of Dhrowpadhi, the near rape of Parimala (Surpanaka) and other such incidents from epics/Puranas quoting religion and Sasthras.
Click to expand...
Seems these are the opinion of a highly prejudiced mind.
 
There are lot of things in indian culture and tradition which defies logic and is based on tribal ritualistic practices. Based on the mode of practice one follows, one classifies oneself into various castes...... each group / religion in the world can be accused of these practices.

Yes we were never brought up with the balance between sexes, roles and privileges were clearly demarcated between the sexes, privileges totally tilted towards the male sex, but not absolute.

But to blame the Brahmin community solely for this is foolishness.

we are yet to wake up, children are yet to be taught to be impartial towards the female sex. we have a far way to go, we will but when we stop beliving in our rituals, our identity revolves around these rituals. and roles as traditionally defined, are kept alive by rituals which are a hall mark of our identity, unless we dump rituals we cannot come out of the frame of minds.

half of this site may be dedicated to some religious/ astrological ritual, we continue believing in them .... echall itting is only a small part of it.

as my respected friend mentioned, its not the harsh feel of the hand against the stone which hurts the human, its the yukky feel of the spilt and spit food, which hurts the soul.

Mops and gloves are not made for us, even a roll of tissue is hard to come by. we still believe in the hand, whether for eating or for washing
 

Dear Arun Sir,

This generation youngster is very considerate to their better half. At times, I find that the husband does more domestic work

than the wife including rearing the children. I want to change the old customs of unnecessary hard work burdened on women folk.

Why not provide a small separate broom for cleaning the spilled food and then a mop stick and lyzol to clean up? No one pays heed,

though I have been saying it ever since I got married! The worst part is that a piece of fresh cowdung is to be added with the water

used for 'echchal ittufying'. Of course, I refused flatly to add 'that' substance!! :D

But other women in the village have to do the mandatory way of cleaning! It is their everyday job! :tsk:
 
renuka said:
It is the general Indian mindset that women are treated with less respect and their opinions hardly matter.
Click to expand...

Not sure this is true in general. Today my wife has already decided where we will go in the evening and what we will eat for dinner. My consent has not been requested, I have just been informed.

I think this depends on the household and the education level of the woman.
 

Even the salary of 'chitthAL' in construction work differs between male and female!

I used to think, 'peN endrAl pEyum (pay-yum) irangum (iRangum)!!'
 
biswa said:
Not sure this is true in general. Today my wife has already decided where we will go in the evening and what we will eat for dinner. My consent has not been requested, I have just been informed.

I think this depends on the household and the education level of the woman.
Click to expand...
Dear Sir,

household ..... YES! education level ..... NO!!
 
biswa said:
Not sure this is true in general. Today my wife has already decided where we will go in the evening and what we will eat for dinner. My consent has not been requested, I have just been informed.

I think this depends on the household and the education level of the woman.
Click to expand...

Dear Biswa,

Well you can look at it two ways:

1) A wife who discusses with her husband everything right from what to do in the evening..where to go..what to eat etc might be seen by some husbands as 'why can't she decide everything and just tell me so that I do not have to crack my head making decisions along with her"

2)A wife who decides everything herself and then just informs her husband without requiring an informed consent might be seen as some husbands as "why doesn't this female ever ask my opinion or consent for anything? Don't I matter ever to her?"


So you see it is actually hard to judge how a man will react to any given situation.

That is why I always give a multiple choice question when making a decision..

a)Where would you like to go for dinner this weekend?

b)Would you want to make the choice this time or should I make the choice this time?

c)None of the above



So let the husband tick the correct answer!LOL

But knowing how man's mind works..he might think "Hey why is she making the question paper?"
 
Last edited:
Everything changes with time, Nothing is constant...This is applicable in this issue also. Things are changing drastically as in our Religion and society, I see the Ladies are having the say nowadays and it is upto the male to make up to whatever the previous generation perscpectives forced on them(Claim that to be positive or negative whatever). As in most of other countries it is time for the Tabra and in general Indian female to get their long due equality.
It's time for the ladies to take this power responsibly as always (They have done the administration right from the Vedic days until today in tremndrous way for this society).
 

Dear Renu,

If a guy gets question papers / choices for every activity, right from choosing dinner menu he is sure to go cranky soon! :der:
 

Decision making!

A lady told her friend that she takes small decisions whereas her husband takes all big decisions.

The friend was surprised and asked how! Then she replied, 'I take small decisions like in which school the kid has to join,

which flat and car to buy, which places to visit during vacation and so on...... Hubby decides bigger ones like which party

to vote to power, how to improve economy of our country and so on.....' :thumb:
 
Raji Ram said:

Dear Renu,

If a guy gets question papers / choices for every activity, right from choosing dinner menu he is sure to go cranky soon! :der:
Click to expand...


Dear RR ji,

One has to have disclaimers..so that one wont be blamed if anything goes wrong.

I remember once me and my husband parked our car in a parking lot and then when we were taking out the car ..my husband reversed the car to take it out of the parking lot and then I told him..since the lot in front of us is vacant..we do not have to reverse the car and just drive the car forwards.

He said good idea and drove the car forwards but both of us never realized that there was a medium height raised divider in between the lots and the car tyre got stuck to it and could not move and the impact caused the bonnet of the car to even come up a little!

The security guards had to help us lift the car to be able to drive away.

I got proper scolding for suggesting that we drive forwards instead of reversing the car.

After that day when ever my husband saw any empty parking spot in front of our car and even if it did not have a divider..I would still get some reminding me about the incident stares from him even after 10 years after that incident.

After that I do no dare make any decision or suggestion!LOL

Lesson learnt: Never mess with a man and his car!
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Share this page

Latest posts

Latest ads

Follow us on Social Media

Back
Top