Born in late 70s, I saw a little bit of agraharam life (at both my grandparents'), and then I could infer from the talks of elders as to how it used to be, and I could say that:
1) The eduppu toilets were a nightmare. Looking back now I dread to think of how it would have been those days.
2) Gossip mongering was a norm those days - emotions ran deep and a lot of blood ran bad. Some even went to the extent of using "pilli - soonyam"...
3) My uncle still owns land, and collecting the dues is still a problem. So I think that was a point that definitely would have been harped on.
4) The "perai" which we used to call had even connecting windows into the other house. The idea of personal space was very limited or non-existent.
But... but... are these the kind of things that were made and agraharam what it was? Certainly not. I also observe that
1) There was, generally, a uniformity in traditional practices - markazhi bhajans etc. Same community living ensures that some practices are continued, such as getting "bommakol bakshanam".
2) Food habits were more or less acceptable to the community living.
3) After land was grabbed from the brahmins, there were plenty of office-goers, as accountants and clerks. Income sources and an adverse politcal scenario pushed them out of their comfort zone and made them go places. It was not a choice.
4) As (little) children we used to roam freely around the agraharam and no one used to bother. Somehow, someone managed to keep an eye on us. The moment we try to stray outside, we would be warned to get inside. A sense of safety and security presented itself in such a setup.
5) Any occasion, willing hands were available to help with the work.
Today, in a cross cultural scenario, I cannot stop the "kottu" than happens if a member of another community passes away, sometimes with a whiff of alcohol and sometimes not.
As mentioned in earlier posts, the whiff of fish or the waft of skin and leather, though revolting, passes through our houses.
At every street corner, a tree stump lies bleakly, foot firmly planted in the soil, to provide support for the butcher's blade as it cuts through mutton and chicken, without partiality.
"kozhai adi sandais" of other communities come with free bonanzas of choicest words that often make the family cringe.
If a family is doing some parayanam, the next door christian may be doing his friday concert, and if it happens to be pentacoastal hall, then woe betide the non christian neighbours.
If muslims are in sufficient numbers, they dictate the terms.
If the house is near to a political bigwig, then some harassment can be expected (this I speak from a friend's personal experience).
Hence, imo, it is only understandable to prefer same community living. But how much of agraharam style would be possible I do not know.
A modern agraharam that is created today could be a success if members willingly participate and it has proximity to medical centres, educatinal institutions and any IT park.
So the niggle can after all be eliminated, but there is always a price to be paid for...
