visa,
i am not so sure, that any of us can convince anyone else to change their views. changing views comes out of a propagandic influence (guru, books) or re-evaluations by one's self.
but the benefit of these discussions, comes forth in the logic and rhetoric that gushes from the likes of yourself, nara, sangom, pann and ever so many. the views are conflicting, but hopefully, with each other, there is a pinging of the other view.
all i hope it does, is to develop empathy.
if we are consider in terms of rights and wrongs, we will have to look at every social action against the absolute - liberty, equality and fraternity. it is but a sad fact, that sanatana dharma is the only dharma, that distinctly stratifies the society as it was milleniums ago, and condemns a good portion of our brethren to less than subsistence dignity.
somewhere in the theetu thread, giri invoked time and his god to prove him right. i respect him for that, because to me there is no 'right' in his viewpoint, when weighed against the egalitarian concepts that we take for granted. had it not been so, the makers of the indian constitution, would have given the brahmin 5 votes or so, for every male brahmin, 4 for the female brahmin, and perhaps -5 for the dalit?
to extend the interconnectivity of attitudes and how it reflects on the society - the TB society by and large have shunned these practices. i think, most of our unmarriable bachelors are of the cadre of who expect strict adherence to theetu or 'aware that the woman they marry knows her place' in the house.
i have one female relative, now pushing late 30s. in her early 20s, she, who has been to the best secular schools, and comes of a upper middle class very highly educated and highly positioned parents (both mother, father had great careers), did courses in philosophy at the masters level at univ of madras. she ended up falling in love with her lecturer.
at first it was all novelty - his mini kudumi, panchakaccham on special occassions, regular chanting of gayatri at the prescribed hours etc etc. so much, that inspite of the warnings of the parents, she married him. ofcourse it was brahmins, but of a kind, strange to the easy going folks that her parents were.
the girl's own parents in law would not eat during the wedding lunch ( they suspected the food was 'contaminated' by cooks of unknown castes). after the muhurtham they left for home. she moved into a joint family, 3 unmarried girls, a tyrant of a father in law, docile son, all sharing a two room house in chennai suburbs.
she had to quit her well paying lecturer job in the city after a few months, as she spent 4 hours commuting, and her husband would not permit her to bring the car that she had when she lived in her parents' house.
the womenfolk went to bed together inside the house, while father & son slept outside in the verandah.
interrupted... more later..
. We were talking about whether or not there are innate differences in abilities based on caste. Suddenly, now, we are into the reservation policy. This cat has way more than nine lives. I am going to pass and let someone else take a shot this time. 
