Brahmin Girls Marrying (Attracted towards) NB Boys

[prabhakaran123]

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brahmin boys.

dt. 2.06.2008

it is ridculous statement to say that brahmin boys are not courageous.
If one read the Indian history the result would show they are not cowards

The Indian army boast of persons like Gen. Krshnaswamy sunderji. co.V.Sriivasan.Airmarshal Rajaram Vice admiral N.KrishnanMajor Gen.Dr.cs.v.subramanian,all tamil Nadu brahmins. Gen. Padmanaban

In those days of freedom sturgle too tamil brahmins have shown their love for the nationand also their valour. To metion few. Vanji nathan,subramania bharathiar, va.ve.su.iyer..rt honble vs. srinvasa sastri.halasyam,rajaji, Mataparai venkarama iyer. are few Who can forge Netaji Subashchandra bose a kolkata brahmin, and savarkar a maharashtrian brahmin courage in freedom fighting.

Inthe rcent past we have found Seshan the former Election Commissonser and Dr. venu Gopal ,Doirector of All Iida Inistitute of Medical science as true examples of courage in fighting against attrocities and political vendeta.principle. It is sheshan who gave a status to tghe Election commisson by his courageous actions gfainst politicians.

Probably the girl is guided by the new trend in Tamil picture which show all Non brahmins are great fighters always moving with sword whre as brahmins are shown as poor victims. Unfortunately the yard stick to judge courage is misspelt.

I would liketo say with vehement force brahmin boys not only of Tamil Nadu but in the entire india right from Kashmir to Kanya kumari are courageous but they beleive in non violance. That is why so many kashmiri pandits who are brahmin have been sent out of their mother land bcause they practice non violance.

So let we brahmins not guided by the cheap gimics of any T.V interview.

Prahakaran.

 

[Ramaa]

Dear Kunjuppu,

i am hopeful, that over time, ramaa will appreciate the benefit of diveristy of views

You should have no doubt about it. I am commenting on those views of yours with the greater emphasis rather than attack on any person especially you. I am sure you and I and most readers know. The exception is the one who keeps coming back (going back many times on his avowed declaration not to come back - so much for the sanctity of avowals!) (who narcissistically post complements on himself in different avatars!!) fishing in troubled water grudging at being ignored. Believe me I will not engage him in my lifetime.

Kunjuppu, please keep posting. And we have a lot to discuss. Above all it will make people to read mine as worthy.

Regards,

 

[kunjuppu]

it is ridculous statement to say that brahmin boys are not courageous. If one read the Indian history the result would show they are not cowards

prabha123,

i think the issue is not one of courage, but one of presentation.

maybe i am wrong, but i have a feeling, that our girls, like most girls around the world, are attracted to men, who groom well, are neat, strong in appearance, a little muscular, slim and trim, and overall present an appearance of self confidence and cheer.

i agree, that these are not the ultimate qualities for a good husband. but these are the stepping stones to a relationship, particularly if one wishes to choose one's own mate.

in an arranged marriage, these things become secondary, as there are other criteria engaged and analyzed.

i am not belittling our boys' achievements. personally i think they are super regarding their career or educational goals. but an added attention to their carriage, is the icing that is perhaps needed to top up the cake.

would you not say that when the roles are reversed, a chubby girl who is shy and introverted, might find it difficult to pass the scrutiny of parents who are looking for a bride for their son? it goes both ways.

rough diamonds, sir, are best appreciated only in the hands of the diamond cutter. not in the retail shops. here only glitter and shine counts.

fact of life.

 

[Ramaa]

kunjuppu,

rough diamonds, sir, are best appreciated only in the hands of the diamond cutter. not in the retail shops. here only glitter and shine counts.

True. But beauty is also in the eyes of the beholder!

excepting for a very few, parents as a whole have not given up on grooming their children. They do see that looks wear off but not values. On the other hand young boys and girls are often blind to these and are carried away by the glitter. Parents' role is therefore very important in the smooth and purposeful life of their children.

The emphasis should be on what is most important and lasting and not on the least important and the fleeting.

I do encourage our boys to look neat and trim. They should. But they don't have to ape anyone. They will get what is destined for them and by and large they do get the best ones that suit them.

 

[KRS]

Dear Sri Kunjuppu Ji,

Thank you for your thoughtful response. Like you, my views also have undergone changes through experience over time. I totally appreciate diverse views and whenever there is a point where I kepp repeating myself with a discussion with anyone, I always attemp to say 'we agree to disagree' and move on.

I especially appreciate the orthodoxy of some in our clan. In fact I have a number of my relatives who are orthodox, who I deeply respect and vice versa. I have no quarrel with those who hold such views. We each understand that neither of us will change our views, just based on our conversations. However, over time I have come to learn from those with differing views from mine. And I suspect that they have done so also.

But what we are encountering amongst a couple of three in this Forum is not discussion. They are bent on making others to change - this is why even if you say 'we agree to disagree', they do not want to move on. They attack personally (please go back and examine the past discussions in this Forum, if anyone doubts my statement and come to your own conclusions) and shout foul when you defend yourself. To them, anything modern is to be sneered at. Modern, automatically means a system with no value, for them. They denigrate other religions, other people and everything else they deem as 'foreign' to their own perceived culture (and by the way, all this, while some living abroad, enjoying the fruits of their labor in those countries which graciously allow them to do it!

As long as this group exists, I will not go away. But as I have said before, I will not be posting anything on various topics. I appreciate your kind words and invitation, but it is best that I limit my role. Because some folks here want me to be gone forever, I will not give them that satisfaction either. My 'solemn' promise is that I will not post but I will be there to counter any hate mongering!

I carry as a badge of merit that some folks here are 'ignoring' me. But their postings belie this assertion! I also just learnt that one can take different avatars just to pat oneself on the back! Come to think of it, this probably has been done before by the same folks who think of others doing it.

Anyways, please carry on. You are doing a terriffic job of analyzing issues with a sweet voice. My namaskarams to you.

Regards,
KRS

 

[baludec48]

I think we must treat this girl as wayward and must not give importance to this weed!

 

[happyhindu]

Thanks very much Sri Kunjuppu and Sri KRS. Am grateful to both of you for you.

I can understand the angst that some sections of the brahmins have wrt to the non-brahmins and its understandable. Find it rather surprising that in fact it should be the older ones showing anger for they were the ones who suffered. Instead they show stoic gracefulness. And its the younger ones that show anger.

For everyone, guess we have had enough of the saga of one man who incarnated his revenge for a bunch of loonies and the revenge becoming an uncontrollable monster of diverse proportions. Its more than high time everyone moved on. To anyone holding grudges, if seeking forgiveness helps, here I am, doing it right now. To all elders who have suffered because of EVR's tirade, here i am falling at your feet and seeking forgiveness.

 

[vanam9394]

No doubt

There is no doubt that Tamil Brahmins are coward. I have never seen in history that TB have raised their voice against all the atrocities committed against them. TB are just good for fighting among themselves and pulling the legs of other brahmins. Such a disgusting community.

I dont agree with the brahmin girl who made that remark in TV. She has absoultely no regard for her family or her community.

Are Brahmin Boys Cowards ?
Dear Friends,
Once Again in
Vijay TV's "Neeya Naana" program (broadcasted on 30/5/2008 between 5.00 to 5.30 PM) on what the young girls and boys look forward to in respect of the future spouse (same topic as earlier but hopefully with different persons).
In that show, one girl who announced herself hailing from a Brahmin community, expressed that she would marry only a NB boy. She stated the following reasons as 1. Brahmin boys are not courageous (she meant explicitly Brahmin boys are cowards) and 2. She wanted to marry only a courageous person.
Normally I don't have time to see TV programmes. It is so happened today when I had a chance to see Vijay TV; that too because of the topic"Neeya Nana "name which I had read in this forum earlier.
I wanted to discuss this in different thread , i.e Brahmins and the Tamil Society but for the sake of completeness of this thread I have mentioned here. I feel though this kind of opinionabout Brahmins in the tamil society is not new, it appears serious for me as it is expressed from a girl of our own community.
I would like to have the views, reasons,future of young brahmins in the tamil society and any probable solutions from the elite members of the forum. By the way I stay outside TN since long.
Regards,
Adiyean

 

[kunjuppu]

vanam,

can you please explain the atrocities committed against tamil brahmins? this is for my education purposes only.

let me explain where i am coming from.

all along, the only group in the hindu fold, who have had systematically atrocities committed against them, i thought, were the dalits. this is on a large scale, entire community wise, to the level of denial of human dignity.

i am not aware of such atrocities committed against tamil brahmins. if at all, and forgive me for my ignorance, the brahmins along with all the intermediate castes, were part and parcel of the type of indignities heaped on the dalits.

incidental intercaste rivalry, one upmanship, jockeying for leadership, out of influence despair - these matters, to the best of my knowledge have been the lot of all the castes at various times, and the hindu fold as a whole when the british and the muslims were the masters. this is my understanding.

so, can you please explain two terms for me in the context of your note and my reply: tamil brahmins as cowards, and the attrocities committed against tamil brahmins.

thank you.

 

[C S Narayanamurthy]

Brahmin Girls and Women let us down

Dear Friends,

In Tamil Nadu, Brahmin Girls and Women have let down the Brahmin community in the name of advancement. In Tamil nadu since 1960's Poor Brahmin boys and men have become laughing stock and they were contantly insulted in Colleges, Cinemas and in agraharams by persons like Veeramani(DK) and DMK/AIADMK goons. There is one *******(Tamil Nadu Brahmins Association) who acts in favor of rich Brahmins and in fact one distric secretary of ******* asked dowry for his sons marriage. Such nonsence by ******* people who are under the influence of their greedy womenfolk. Instead of encouraging Brahmin girls to excel in academics the parenst mostly mothers to earn more money encourage their beautiful brahmin girls to enetr into film world/modeling/TV acting and they go astray. Unless all Tamil Brahmin Boys and Girls excel in academics and shine in IIT's/IIM's/Medicine we can not progress inspight of reservations. All sincere Tamil Brahmin womenfolk must support this. In Tamil Nadu we must unite and teach these Non-Brahmins a lesson. It is sad to hear a BE graduate Brahmin girl marrying N.B boy and spoil our great culture. In the name of love the Non-Brahmin boys lure Brahmin girls as if Brahmin boys are unfit.

Some sefish Brahmins and pseudo intellectuals like K Balachandar, Late Maniyan(Ananda Vikatan), N. Ram/N Murali (Hindu) have back stabbed Brahmins.

The Tamil Brahmin womenfolk and girls must realise that love is not life and above all social responsibilities are important. One can love any one Except Tamil Nadu Non-Brahmins. They are our enemy No.1.

C S N Murthy

 

[happyhindu]

tks sri kunjuppu. wanted to ask that too. in what ways are the current generation of the tamil brahmins facing any attrocites against them in their personal everyday life (forget the politician duds). in the old past yes a few were harassed. most people with fundamentalist leanings talking here were probably not even born that time.

here i am only hoping that ppl can move on and seeking forgiveness for any past mistakes that non-brahmins have done to brahmins. i hope every single person who has any past stories understand, its pointless to hold on to the past and keep spoliling one's present when there is so much more that life has to offer.

 

[kunjuppu]

... One can love any one Except Tamil Nadu Non-Brahmins. They are our enemy No.1. C S N Murthy

csn murthy,

i am not so sure about that. i think, it may be better for our boys/girls to mingle and marry other tamil hindus, than other religions.

tamil hinduism has a great traditions, as is evidenced by our language, culture, music, architecture, literature etc. tamil hindus along with us, share these traditions.

only in the past 100 years or so, have we tamil brahmins, increasingly alienated ourselves from the tamil mainstream, i think. maybe, our youngsters are leaping their attitudes beyond the immediate past, and going further into those times, when tamil brahmins were considered and considered themselves tamils first.

the youngster who expressed her views on t.v. is only two generations removed from those whom we sheared the hair off if they were widowed, along with calling them vile names for having been the cause of husband's demise. such has been tradition too.

it is good that our girls are educated and are able to make up their own minds. many of them, i think, had had enough of the shameless dowry seeking, post marriage salary hand overs, and ultimately in spite of having the same or better potential than the boys, forced to foot the entire wedding bell. sorry sir, i am with the youngsters of today.

i am 58 years old.

thank you.

 

[prabhakaran123]

behmins girls marrying

helo freinds

on this posts i have alrady expressedmy views.

i have cometo know about a recent incident referrred to me by one of my friend who is in love with a brahmin girl Both of them belong to same gothra. but both of them Love each other. They are devout brahmin to the core.

Culturevwce they belong to the very cultured brahmin family . Both of them are duty bound to their parents.

Theri brahminical love and appreciation of each other atuomaticaly mde them to attract towards each other inthe long run

The are in a peculiarsituation now. Thier parents wont agree for this marriageage being orthodox perssons and devout brahmins.

They also did not want to displease their parents as both of them want to get married only with the approvalof their parents.

The boy has no other alternative except to remain brahmachaari. He fels tht he wilbe commiting a sin if he maries without the aproalofthe parents as the kanyadanam and panigrahanam will not be full without approal

The girl is too strong in her feelings and want to mary him, but she also feels the parents aproval is necessary.

Both believe that mata pita as deivam.and both also want to live for eachother.

Inthis peculiar circumstances can any one sugest whether they will be doing a papam of disobeying parents if they marry each other against the willl of their parents more paraticularly on account of sagotram.

Prabhakaran

 

[vijisesh]

First Practical Suggestion for the Bravehearts !

Hi! Mr.Prabhakaran,

I can't really find out if this situation is an inspiration from a movie or a real incident . Under all circumstances a logical solution would primarily depend upon the circumstantial position of our hero in a) being able to support the lady love financially , physically and emotionally ( considering the worst situation to live independent and to start life from square one )

Now it might sound somewhat daring and strange for a few when i ask upon the elders a question to kindle their thought process ....

" What respect do elders deserve if they cannot understand the true happiness of their younger ones ??? What authority against God's will, do they really have over the lives of their offsprings , to separate a couple truly in love ??????"

GOD , the almighty is caretaker of all the souls .......... Any child to a parent if a gift from him and the parent will be having restricted rights on his child , UNTIL the time the child is capable of taking independent decisions ! Then the child will be blessed and guided by GOD throughout his lifetime depending upon his karma -- This sounds logical - doesn't it !

About paapa and punya in this episode , i really feel that this person you are talking about is going to fetch more paap to his parents just by chosing the option of becoming a brahmachari , and maybe in the next janma , the father of this concerned person may even have to run a matrimony and fix the marriage of a 100 couples in love !!, to redeem the lost karma points of the father !

helo freinds

on this posts i have alrady expressedmy views.

i have cometo know about a recent incident referrred to me by one of my friend who is in love with a brahmin girl Both of them belong to same gothra. but both of them Love each other. They are devout brahmin to the core.

Culturevwce they belong to the very cultured brahmin family . Both of them are duty bound to their parents.

Theri brahminical love and appreciation of each other atuomaticaly mde them to attract towards each other inthe long run

The are in a peculiarsituation now. Thier parents wont agree for this marriageage being orthodox perssons and devout brahmins.

They also did not want to displease their parents as both of them want to get married only with the approvalof their parents.

The boy has no other alternative except to remain brahmachaari. He fels tht he wilbe commiting a sin if he maries without the aproalofthe parents as the kanyadanam and panigrahanam will not be full without approal

The girl is too strong in her feelings and want to mary him, but she also feels the parents aproval is necessary.

Both believe that mata pita as deivam.and both also want to live for eachother.

Inthis peculiar circumstances can any one sugest whether they will be doing a papam of disobeying parents if they marry each other against the willl of their parents more paraticularly on account of sagotram.

Prabhakaran

 

[bhaskar05]

Madam Mythreye,

Even if morden men think to follow traditions, women are not willing too, please look into your comment,

"if you want us to serve the way the older generation has served, i am sorry you have entered a wrong era..."

a. How many of the brahmin girls are intrested to marry a non techie guy.

b. How many of them feel the pride of mother hood (proper terms not illegal).

c. How many of them at least respect the traditions, if not to be followed.

d. How many of them try to contribute to the society other than (acting, modelling, RJ, DJ, Software)

A handful can be picked up. Especially Brahmin women now a days want luxury, lust, leverage, which is like a ship without compass.

Disclaimer: This not on the enitre population a handful of sample; which is like a pinch of poison in a pot of Milk.

 

[deepan]

Hi,

two brahmin friends of mine have been in love now for three years and to me they are a perfect pair sharing their sorrows and happiness...but unfortunately the girl is elder to the boy by 3 months and the boy's father is unwilling to consent for their wedding due to this...the boy and girl are now struggling mentally to try and forget each other...can someone let me know if there is a way around it so that i can try and convince the boy's dad?...

 

[happyhindu]

Hi,

Mayb u shd ask your friends to forget the boy's father instead of each other...age is just a number - its no big deal...parents will come around eventually.

 

[vanam9394]

No !!

Girl should always be younger than the boy !!! Thats why arranged marriages are better becs it takes the age into account. Westernization is total nonsense..it only creates choas and leads to major problems....

 

[happyhindu]

ah..i thot a marriage is always in the mind, and age too is just a number of the mind...anyways, diff things makes diff ppl happy...

 

[Rajan]

Marriage and Age

Over the years or over the generation we have seen the age at which marriage takes place ( now nearly 27 to 28 for boys and 24 to 26 for girls in normal circumstances) has shifted from earlier days practice of 15 to 18 years. Why this change happened let us look into. It is mainly because both boys and girls wants to have decent education and followed by decent job / economic independence and matured enough to bring up a family. The change happened only because we found it convenient. When this can happen why not bride slightly elder to bridegroom.At the end of the day living a happy married life and setting an example for future generation is important.

Rajan

 

[S. Krishnamoorthy]

One of my friends narrated the following:
Is your getting married?
Yes.
Who is the groom?
A non-brahmin boy.
Don't worry. So long it is a boy and a Hindu.
This is the present situation - not only of Brahmin community but also of other Hindu communities.
S. Krishnamoorthy

 

[happyhindu]

As long as a couple marries itself is a big thing these days....

there are situations where a couple attends every family event together and the conservative elders feel awkward to explain to the other elders that they live together without a marriage...with no guarantee that they will ever marry...since the 'no-strings attached' is the label ever on display.

the most difficult part for the parents however, is explaining why their son changed the live-in partner - accepting the new girl is seems tougher for them than their non-chalant son....no wonder parents are such a resigned lot these days and need plenty of medical insurance for their frequent chest pains....

 

[ravirustam84]

well, it is perfectly premissible for a boy to marry a girl elder to him as long as she is not more than a year elder to him

 

[vanam9394]

no

Dear Rajan,
You are trying to make a very rational argument. But the problem is, we cannot be always be rational in all matters. There are so many rituals and ceremonies in vedic tradition that cannot be understood by rational mind. So give up your rational thoughts and follow our ancestors. I think that is smarter than being a rationalist ?? are you part of "Pagutarivu group (DMK) "?

Over the years or over the generation we have seen the age at which marriage takes place ( now nearly 27 to 28 for boys and 24 to 26 for girls in normal circumstances) has shifted from earlier days practice of 15 to 18 years. Why this change happened let us look into. It is mainly because both boys and girls wants to have decent education and followed by decent job / economic independence and matured enough to bring up a family. The change happened only because we found it convenient. When this can happen why not bride slightly elder to bridegroom.At the end of the day living a happy married life and setting an example for future generation is important.

Rajan

 

[happyhindu]

Vanam-ji,

Comment was not to me, but me sharing a few thots:

Looks like if we were to truly follow or even 'blindly follow' the vedic tradition, it wud result in complete freedom for women with choice in anything being left to her (another result wud also be a fluid casteless classless society)....

Prob is somewhre things changed...the mindset of people of every section of the society changed...

Also we want to follow our most recent ancestors or ancient ancestors?

(Ps: me not part of any politics, sociology group, rational thot grp, etc - me just a learner, and therefore am certainly not correct in everything i say..but just looking forward to others' thots on this, minus politcs please).