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[manoharkumar]

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Once in Puttaparthi it was Eid and one person wished me Eid Mubarak cos he thought I was a muslim.
My father told me 'I told you to wear Pottu and you did not wear and with your head fully covered who won't think you are a muslim?"LOL

If you appear like that in any Gurudwara people might say "sat sri akal" to you as all the north indians cover their head in front of elders and while in temples/gurudwaras/etc. Even gents have to cover thier heads with kerchief etc in gurudwara... thats the respect for the gurus and elders.. I love going to Temples and Gurudwara as well.. (the food served there would be veru good!!)

Cheers.

 

[kk4646]

When I go for prayers I always cover my head too..somehow feel nice to cover my head while praying and I prefer wearing all white for prayers.

That's why my mother always jokes with me she says "you look so covered up while praying in India...if only people know what you wear otherwise when you are in Malaysia..many might get a shock"

You see VR Ji I am not that young anymore(even though I might look young!LOL Ha Ha Ha) but when in temples/puttaparthi etc I like to be covered up.

Once in Puttaparthi it was Eid and one person wished me Eid Mubarak cos he thought I was a muslim.
My father told me 'I told you to wear Pottu and you did not wear and with your head fully covered who won't think you are a muslim?"LOL

I HATE to see any Hindu girl/women WITHOUT Bindhi/kumkumam/Pottu... When my sons got married the only demands we made were the girl should have Pottu allthe time after marriage whether they wear jeans are not.. It has become fashion for the girls not to have pottu which should be condmed.. Only a christian, Muslim and WIDOW women will not have pottu.. Partly the parents are also responsible for this state of affairs.. In the name of freedom they adopt allow/never care attitude..Children should be made to understand to follow our culture irrespective of status, locations, positions..

TVK

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

But dont you think our TN dress code of earlier days of sarees, and Pavadai Thaavani for girls, and pattu, or Cheeti pavadai for girls were so nice!! the grace of P&D cannot be matched by the churidar and our traditional dress has vanished amidst us, even in the remote corner of any TN village one can see girls of any age in churidar and not in our dress. Schools have shifted thier uniforms to churidar!! need of the time to avoid harassment of girls is what the reason given by them..

I do advice my relatives daughters to try out the P&D , but they run away from it. Sad...

We are stating the same facts in different ways and words!!! out:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

When I go for prayers I always cover my head too..somehow feel nice to cover my head while praying and I prefer wearing all white for prayers.

That's why my mother always jokes with me she says "you look so covered up while praying in India...if only people know what you wear otherwise when you are in Malaysia..many might get a shock"

You see VR Ji I am not that young anymore(even though I might look young!LOL Ha Ha Ha) but when in temples/puttaparthi etc I like to be covered up.

Once in Puttaparthi it was Eid and one person wished me Eid Mubarak cos he thought I was a muslim.
My father told me 'I told you to wear Pottu and you did not wear and with your head fully covered who won't think you are a muslim?"LOL

Either way you will give a shock or a heart attack!!!
Did the person try to give the traditional ID Mubarak hug too??? :becky:

 

[Naina_Marbus]

I HATE to see any Hindu girl/women WITHOUT Bindhi/kumkumam/Pottu... When my sons got married the only demands we made were the girl should have Pottu allthe time after marriage whether they wear jeans are not.. It has become fashion for the girls not to have pottu which should be condmed.. Only a christian, Muslim and WIDOW women will not have pottu.. Partly the parents are also responsible for this state of affairs.. In the name of freedom they adopt allow/never care attitude..Children should be made to understand to follow our culture irrespective of status, locations, positions..

TVK

I am glad that you hold an opinion similar to mine. This is particularly bad in USA, where Indian women stopped wearing bindhi. Compare that to the way many muslim women in USA, in spite of 9/11, have started wearing hijab, head scarf, black dress, etc even while they go out, without being self-conscious!!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I HATE to see any Hindu girl/women WITHOUT Bindhi/kumkumam/Pottu... When my sons got married the only demands we made were the girl should have Pottu allthe time after marriage whether they wear jeans are not.. It has become fashion for the girls not to have pottu which should be condmed.. Only a christian, Muslim and WIDOW women will not have pottu.. Partly the parents are also responsible for this state of affairs.. In the name of freedom they adopt allow/never care attitude..Children should be made to understand to follow our culture irrespective of status, locations, positions..

TVK

Many schools in TN forbid the girls from wearing any make up or even bindi and bangles.
Here in USA, Indians are advised to look like the locals to the maximum extent possible.
My kutty grand daughter loved mini bindis . She wears them everyday and is popularizing it among her classmates.

 

[nsmkrish]

Regarding drinking water, I got those facts from a forward sent to me. I found where it was taken from and am pasting it below. I think any scientific claims should be taken with a pinch of salt and should be verified from all sources possible. But drinking water is not harmful and so I thought I should post it here.
Healthy Living: Water…It Can Save Your Life! « Cyndacation

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

If you appear like that in any Gurudwara people might say "sat sri akal" to you as all the north indians cover their head in front of elders and while in temples/gurudwaras/etc. Even gents have to cover thier heads with kerchief etc in gurudwara... thats the respect for the gurus and elders.. I love going to Temples and Gurudwara as well.. (the food served there would be veru good!!)

Cheers.

Hindu temples here will attract even non believers
with the mouthwatering Indian preparations sold
at a throwaway price or for nominal donations.
Ore kallil irandu maangaai!

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Many schools in TN forbid the girls from wearing any make up or even bindi and bangles.

Possibly the schools run by christian missionaries?

 

[renuka]

I HATE to see any Hindu girl/women WITHOUT Bindhi/kumkumam/Pottu... When my sons got married the only demands we made were the girl should have Pottu allthe time after marriage whether they wear jeans are not.. It has become fashion for the girls not to have pottu which should be condmed.. Only a christian, Muslim and WIDOW women will not have pottu.. Partly the parents are also responsible for this state of affairs.. In the name of freedom they adopt allow/never care attitude..Children should be made to understand to follow our culture irrespective of status, locations, positions..

TVK

LOL!

Why so angry yaar.

I never grew up wearing one and never felt like wearing too.

I do not consider myself a lesser Hindu in anyway.

I lead a full Hindu life right from diet,prayers and my study in Sanskrit.

Yes I follow tradition and that's the tradition of praying to God.

Each one of us have our own preferences.

I am wondering now..aren't you the same person who did not mind inter religious marriage?Ha Ha Ha.(Savitri Sebastian??)

BTW my parents brought me up very well too.

My future Daughter In Law is going to be very lucky cos I will not impose any rules and regulations on her like what you plan!LOL

Let a young girl dress the way she wants.

When Inlaws impose themselves on their Daughters In Laws believe me they might not just really like you inside.

Just let everyone be happy as long the person is a good girl its enough.

The only requirement I have is the moment my son gets married he has to move out and stay on his own.
A couple should build a life together and I am 100% sure any DIL will love that.

They can stay near if they wish but not in my house so that there will be no problems in the future.

 

[renuka]

Either way you will give a shock or a heart attack!!!
Did the person try to give the traditional ID Mubarak hug too??? :becky:

No No..it was a very old person.

 

[renuka]

Here in Malaysia schools do not allow bangles,chains.
Only ear studs are allowed.
Make up is also banned.
Bindis are allowed for Indians who wear it( but not fancy designs..just a single color is allowed)

 

[renuka]

Originally Posted by kk4646
WIDOW women will not have pottu..

Every woman widowed or not is a human in their own right.

Being a widow does not mean a person is lesser in the evolutionary scale.

After all when we were born none of us came out with any pottu on our head and when we die too we are not too sure if there will be a pottu or not.

No woman really knows if she will die a Sumangali or as an Amangali.

Technically speaking since Jeevatma is eternally wedded to Paramatma no one is a Widow or a Widower.

 

[sadasivam.sridharan]

Keeping bhindi ,wearing jeans, keeping short hair etc.are individual's choice and preference.Interfering in these things will only create friction and resentment.As long as girls resort to traditional dress code during festivals and solemn occassions it is ok to have their freedom on other occassions.

 

[manoharkumar]

The only requirement I have is the moment my son gets married he has to move out and stay on his own.
A couple should build a life together and I am 100% sure any DIL will love that.

They can stay near if they wish but not in my house so that there will be no problems in the future.

But why Dr?. All these years you have had only love from a son why not a daughters love for some time before they grow out?. As written earlier i married off my two daughters and both my SIL call me dad only and my dauhters her inlws as appa/amma. That way i have got two sons after marriage. That is also nice in a way. I feel happy when my daughter is called as their daughter when i visit their houses...
So have a open mind on this .. dont close the doors on beautiful relations...who knows your DIL whold even more closer to you than your darling.
Cheers!!

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

According to Indian culture, there is a custom of wearing nose studs. Nose stud is worn
either in the left or right nostril. In some houses, nose studs are worn in both nostrils.
However, in some parts of India, the left side of the nose is generally preferred as the
ideal position for nose stud. Further, in accordance with the ayurvedic guidelines, the
spot generally chosen for piercing of nose is associated with the female reproductive organs.
It is also interpreted that woman who have get nose pierced at that point on the left side,
would experience less pain while delivering the baby and also may have less menstrual pain.
Thus it is a general belief in the village side that wearing nose studs make the process
of child birth much easier. Over and above, nose piercing in major parts of India, is considered
as an important religious event . In some parts of India, piercing of nose is considered as a method
of honoring Goddess Parvathi. In Villages, old people used to say that nose studs make the
girls and women appealing and beautiful besides it enhances their charm. But of late, some of
the girls avoid nose piercing even after marriage too.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[kk4646]

LOL!

Why so angry yaar.

I never grew up wearing one and never felt like wearing too.

I do not consider myself a lesser Hindu in anyway.

I lead a full Hindu life right from diet,prayers and my study in Sanskrit.

Yes I follow tradition and that's the tradition of praying to God.

Each one of us have our own preferences.

I am wondering now..aren't you the same person who did not mind inter religious marriage?Ha Ha Ha.(Savitri Sebastian??)

BTW my parents brought me up very well too.

My future Daughter In Law is going to be very lucky cos I will not impose any rules and regulations on her like what you plan!LOL

Let a young girl dress the way she wants.

When Inlaws impose themselves on their Daughters In Laws believe me they might not just really like you inside.

Just let everyone be happy as long the person is a good girl its enough.

The only requirement I have is the moment my son gets married he has to move out and stay on his own.
A couple should build a life together and I am 100% sure any DIL will love that.

They can stay near if they wish but not in my house so that there will be no problems in the future.

"aren't you the same person who did not mind inter religious marriage?Ha Ha Ha.(Savitri Sebastian??)"

I have written about it already..I am not against anyone changing their religion but Don't make mockery of particular religious customs..

"let everyone be happy as long the person is a good girl its enough."...

Good & Bad are relative opinions which can not be taken as a yard stick...

Do any other religion accept[ or inability] such a violation of age old customs..? What is wrong for a girl to keep her identity by way of her religious custom..? Is there any preaching/teaching not to have thilak .? O.K. let me put it this way.. Westerners or any other person of different religion visit/stay with our people who follows Hindu tradition.. Will they change their dress code or custom because they are surrounded by Hindu people..? The very fact if someone feels it is imposition of customs .well it will only show the immaturity as well as refusal to understand our customs.. Our Hindu societie's value is getting diminished not by any External forces but by our own people only..

TVK

 

[renuka]

But why Dr?. All these years you have had only love from a son why not a daughters love for some time before they grow out?. As written earlier i married off my two daughters and both my SIL call me dad only and my dauhters her inlws as appa/amma. That way i have got two sons after marriage. That is also nice in a way. I feel happy when my daughter is called as their daughter when i visit their houses...
So have a open mind on this .. dont close the doors on beautiful relations...who knows your DIL whold even more closer to you than your darling.
Cheers!!

Dear sir,

For me I think of child as my offspring so sex of child does not make any difference.

I love my son and even if I had a daughter and not a son I would have loved her the same too.

Sir..you know a newly wed bride will have apprehension about In Laws no matter how nice a MIL or FIL is.

Aren't we all extra careful with inlaws but we dare fight with our parents sometimes?

See becos we know there is some unseen barrier when it comes to Inlaws.

I would like my future DIL to stay with my son alone and here every girl likes that cos they feel free to behave the way they like.

All those who stay with their in laws sometimes feel a bit stressed.

I want them to be happy staying alone and discovering married life without anyone bothering them.

It would be their right and decision to decide even if they want to have kids or not cos my duty is just to take care of my son and hand him over to his wife and his life is in his own hands after that.
I am not planning to be like some inlaws who keep asking for a grandchild.
God knows whats the best for each person.
So nothing is in our hands.

They are welcome to see me anytime but when I am older I plan to be a volunteer doctor to see patients for free and also teach Sanskrit so I will not be too free to have anyone staying with me.

A couples best gift is having to stay on their own.

Even my MIL told me this the 1st day I entered their house.

She said to us to stay on your own and be happy.

To be frank I am very scared of those smothering types of people who try to be too loving!

I somehow prefer a normal person who might have moods and preferences.

I have seen so many DIL's just putting on all drama to please in laws.

Nope I am not looking for a daughter.

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

Ear-piercing is an important event in South India, particularly in Tamil Nadu. However,
cultures vary and it has its own significance with regard to ear piercing. Tribal people
pierce their ears to secure protection from evil effects. In some section, it is considered
as a sign of wealth and stature. Generally, Hindus believe that piercing certain parts of the
body gives a way to correct the energy that flows into the body, which would facilitate
in improving health and immunity. Some do it after one year or some after mundam ceremony
i.e. tonsuring of the head, etc. and some do exactly after the 12th or 13th day. Further,
there is an argument about ear-piercing. Some say right ear piercing brings health and
and left ear wealth. Generally in Brahmin Houses, Ayush Homam is performed to please
Lord Shiva for longevity and better health of the child and on that day, ear piercing is done.
As regards wearing of Mitti, ring immediately after the marriage by the women. Normally,
a Silver ring i.e. Mitti is worn in the second finger of the feet at the time of the marriage.
Here also some have scientific reason to tell about this, i.e that the nerves relating to womb
is ending there and a mitti ring in that finger will give acupressure while walking and that
may enhance the functioning of uterus. Generally, this is only a belief.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[renuka]

Do any other religion accept[ or inability] such a violation of age old customs..? What is wrong for a girl to keep her identity by way of her religious custom..? Is there any preaching/teaching not to have thilak .? O.K. let me put it this way.. Westerners or any other person of different religion visit/stay with our people who follows Hindu tradition.. Will they change their dress code or custom because they are surrounded by Hindu people..? The very fact if someone feels it is imposition of customs .well it will only show the immaturity as well as refusal to understand our customs.. Our Hindu societie's value is getting diminished not by any External forces but by our own people only..

TVK

Dear sir,

You see all I wrote in my original post is I did not wear Pottu and was mistaken to be a muslim but I never said that a person should not wear Pottu or neither did I find fault with anyone wearing it.

It was you who started commenting about it negatively so I just stood up to defend my reasons and decision for not wearing.

Further more you did pass a remark that parents are to blame.

So it not really fair to blame parents for everything.

I am sure your ancestors wore dhoti and now you are wearing pants..so can I say that you are not following age old tradition customs?

You see I am a simple person who has my own style of living and doing things.

I wont say I am 100% right.

Those who follow culture and tradition are most welcomed to do so..I never find fault with anyone who does but at the same time a person who follows all traditions should not have a Holier Than Thou attitude cos at the end of the day its Chitra Gupta who is recording my Karma and not you!! LOL

Just a gentle reminder...Following customs need always reflect spirituality.
I do not wear Gold either..when we grow older less is more in the eyes of God.

As far as I know I am still very much within the folds of Sanathana Dharma.

 

[kk4646]

Dear sir,

You see all I wrote in my original post is I did not wear Pottu and was mistaken to be a muslim but I never said that a person should not wear Pottu or neither did I find fault with anyone wearing it.

It was you who started commenting about it negatively so I just stood up to defend my reasons and decision for not wearing.

Further more you did pass a remark that parents are to blame.

So it not really fair to blame parents for everything.

I am sure your ancestors wore dhoti and now you are wearing pants..so can I say that you are not following age old tradition customs?

You see I am a simple person who has my own style of living and doing things.

I wont say I am 100% right.

Those who follow culture and tradition are most welcomed to do so..I never find fault with anyone who does but at the same time a person who follows all traditions should not have a Holier Than Thou attitude cos at the end of the day its Chitra Gupta who is recording my Karma and not you!! LOL

Just a gentle reminder...Following customs need always reflect spirituality.
I do not wear Gold either..when we grow older less is more in the eyes of God.

As far as I know I am still very much within the folds of Sanathana Dharma.

Nothing Personal.. My views are not welcomed by many but I firmly believe the are parents are allowing the children to get away from whatever they do as freedom...

TVK

 

[amala]

A person from Malaysia is as much an athithi in India as one coming from the West!!!

My sentiments exactly! even if they are Indian origin . but i guess sometimes physical appearance matters, as in if we look Indian and looking like a total foreigner (white, east asian etc). People are more inclined to treat you as one of them if you look the same I guess.

 

[amala]

Nothing Personal.. My views are not welcomed by many but I firmly believe the are parents are allowing the children to get away from whatever they do as freedom...

TVK

Sir I agree with you to a certain extent. BUT, there is only so much parents can do or force or coerce or plead or beg. After a certain age parents don't have much control or say over their kids anymore these days. Before perhaps yes due to close knit families etc. Nowadays if you keep forcing your child, they will move away from you. If the children follow and listen then one is a truly blessed and lucky parent.

But generally speaking the days of put up or shut up is long gone, whether children, parents or spouse from what I've observed.

 

[amala]

When I go for prayers I always cover my head too..somehow feel nice to cover my head while praying and I prefer wearing all white for prayers.

That's why my mother always jokes with me she says "you look so covered up while praying in India...if only people know what you wear otherwise when you are in Malaysia..many might get a shock"

You see VR Ji I am not that young anymore(even though I might look young!LOL Ha Ha Ha) but when in temples/puttaparthi etc I like to be covered up.

Once in Puttaparthi it was Eid and one person wished me Eid Mubarak cos he thought I was a muslim.
My father told me 'I told you to wear Pottu and you did not wear and with your head fully covered who won't think you are a muslim?"LOL

Lol this is really funny! Even i don't wear pottu nowadays with ethnic clothes (mostly salwar to the temple as i need to take the tube..and i dunno why feel awkward with pottu!). I used to wear pottu alot back home. In that respect I feel amazed at my mum, who wears pottu all the time when going out, even or especially with western clothes.

 

[sarang]

Tilak or pottu is not just a decoration; it has a spiritual and religious significance attached. When they are lost or not understood or their significance is relegated, pottu makes no sense. When a muslim lady said in an ndtv show that women are beautiful and their beautiful face and body must not be seen by others, she was passionately holding on to her view, that barka dutt and others simply nodded their heads in appreciation. If there is no underlying faith in any activity, it is likely to be dropped. Their significance when told by parents was accepted by their children. But when the youngster finds a guru she respects or a peer group that subscribes to traditions, she will start following the customs.