GENDER EQUALITY - in India - what we practice and what is on paper

[renuka]

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Marriage to me is a total commitment to ONE person, being consumed with that person, at all levels: intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
KRS

Dear KRS ji,


I do not think we can find a person who has all these qualities and neither can anyone of us have all these qualities in the proportions that can make us or anyone else happy.

I am talking about the intellectual and spiritual needs here.

This is the reason why we humans have friends....to meet our specific spiritual and specific intellectual needs.


This is just part of human evolution in thought...eventually a person realizes that no one can make him/her happy and he/she starts to seeks God ....cos God is Perfect match for every human being in this world.

 

[KRS]

Dear Srimathi Dr. Renuka Ji,

Well, I don't know.

I have been married twice. Both 'love' marriages. My first one lasted almost 30 years and the second one just surpassed 10.

Believe me, I am very spiritual, but it is not because I am dissatisfied with either of my spouses. I thought I would not remarry after I lost my first wife of a very loving marriage, but, then I fell in love again and am very happy. Both of my wives are extremely different and I do not believe that I am/have been lacking any match-up deficiencies with either of them.

I think I am very happy because the monogamy aspect suits me.

Regards,
KRS

Dear KRS ji,


I do not think we can find a person who has all these qualities and neither can anyone of us have all these qualities in the proportions that can make us or anyone else happy.

I am talking about the intellectual and spiritual needs here.

This is the reason why we humans have friends....to meet our specific spiritual and specific intellectual needs.


This is just part of human evolution in thought...eventually a person realizes that no one can make him/her happy and he/she starts to seeks God ....cos God is Perfect match for every human being in this world.

 

[renuka]

Dear Srimathi Dr. Renuka Ji,

Well, I don't know.

I have been married twice. Both 'love' marriages. My first one lasted almost 30 years and the second one just surpassed 10.

Believe me, I am very spiritual, but it is not because I am dissatisfied with either of my spouses. I thought I would not remarry after I lost my first wife of a very loving marriage, but, then I fell in love again and am very happy. Both of my wives are extremely different and I do not believe that I am/have been lacking any match-up deficiencies with either of them.

I think I am very happy because the monogamy aspect suits me.

Regards,
KRS

Dear KRS ji,

The key word is You Fell In Love again...this is what I am saying...Monogamy is just Falling in Love with one person at a stipulated period of time...and Polygamy/Polyandry is Falling in Love with more that one person at a given period of time.

None of us are perfect and no spouse can be perfect but over time we learn to live with all our imperfections.

I have no idea if I am a spiritual person even though I love God a lot (becos I have no idea how I rank in God's books) I think a person who feels 100% adequate and contented with anyone seldom seeks God in the true sense..I think we have the story in our Puranas about a form of divinity who took birth as a pig and was so happy with his pig family that he forgot to go back to his abode.

 

[prasad1]

Dear KRS ji,

The key word is You Fell In Love again...this is what I am saying...Monogamy is just Falling in Love with one person at a stipulated period of time...and Polygamy/Polyandry is Falling in Love with more that one person at a given period of time.

None of us are perfect and no spouse can be perfect but over time we learn to live with all our imperfections.

I have no idea if I am a spiritual person even though I love God a lot (becos I have no idea how I rank in God's books) I think a person who feels 100% adequate and contented with anyone seldom seeks God in the true sense..I think we have the story in our Puranas about a form of divinity who took birth as a pig and was so happy with his pig family that he forgot to go back to his abode.

Marriage or sex is not same as falling in love. So please do not equate them, and they are not mutually exclusive either.

Polygamy, polyandry, or having multiple sex partners is purely for sexual pleasure. It has no other explanation. Birds and animals do it. It is human to be in love and take care of each other in time of difficulties, to share happiness and joy together.

 

[Haridasa Siva]

I agree -- in as much as the purpose of life (not consciousness) is to survive and procreate, faithfulness is the best policy for both male and female and we have evolved through natural selection to value monogamy.

best ...

The style of reply does not reflect 'nara' I have known.:nono:
'Nara'nna :boxing::flame:ellam irunthattaan 'natural'a irukkum.

Hope you are doing well. Nice to see you back.

 

[Haridasa Siva]

K Sir have you heard women who are in a relationship/marriage moan how even one husband/partner is enough! or women who are in a polygamous marriage rejoicing that husband is spending the week with another wife! . I have!! Lol Do you honestly think they would be keen on polyandry? I have my doubts, but then again we can't generalise

Ee threadla maatram lethu; nuvvu raase annatlame clarity unthi. Santosham ma. Keep well.:thumb:

 

[sangom]

Dear KRS ji,

The key word is You Fell In Love again...this is what I am saying...Monogamy is just Falling in Love with one person at a stipulated period of time...and Polygamy/Polyandry is Falling in Love with more that one person at a given period of time.

None of us are perfect and no spouse can be perfect but over time we learn to live with all our imperfections.

I have no idea if I am a spiritual person even though I love God a lot (becos I have no idea how I rank in God's books) I think a person who feels 100% adequate and contented with anyone seldom seeks God in the true sense..I think we have the story in our Puranas about a form of divinity who took birth as a pig and was so happy with his pig family that he forgot to go back to his abode.

"Falling in love" is a virtue only when there is a life long commitment to that one partner whom one loves so deeply. I know men who lost their wife (death) in their 40's and early 50's (age). These men had children dependent on them (sons & daughters). The fathers in these cases did not marry (or fall in love again!) but steadfastly functioned as both father & mother (and this latter, you will agree, is more difficult-at least in the more conservative atmosphere in India, generally - in the case of a daughter), gave their daughters in marriage and by that time have neared their 70's (age). They live alone or join some senior citizens' home, according to their financial capacity.

In another case, a young man (tabra to be more precise) had two daughters within 5 years of his marriage and soon after the second delivery the wife turned out to be a full-blown mental case, unfit even to suckle the child. This man faced all the challenges of bringing up the two daughters, giving them in marriage, etc., and did not marry a second time even though the wife was mostly in asylums and (later on) in some old age homes. Despite advice from others he did not go for a second marriage. The first wife is no more now and this gentleman is 80+. Possibly, these are the examples of true love.

 

[kunjuppu]

why dont everyone just fall in love with love. then there is no complications

here, listen to julie andrews telling us, how it feels like falling in love with love itself.

[video=youtube;PBUFFtQx-1c]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBUFFtQx-1c[/video]


"Falling In Love with Love"

Falling in love with love
Is falling for make-believe
Falling in love with love
Is playing the fool

Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy
Learning to trust is just
For children in school
I fell in love with love one night
When the moon was full
I was unwise with eyes
Unable to see
Falling in love with love
With love ever after
But love fell out with me

I fell in love with love one night
When the moon was full
I was unwise with eyes
Unable to see

I fell in love with love
With love everlasting
But love fell out with me

 

[prasad1]

Mr. K
You a NRI with western values, how can you tell us anything about anything (LOL). That too you are quoting a western women in a dress.

 

[kunjuppu]

Mr. K
You a NRI with western values, how can you tell us anything about anything (LOL). That too you are quoting a western women in a dress.

sorry mon. i tried. to get a pix of julie in sari. eh, but that lady did not oblige. so let us stick with julie in pinafores and bobbed hair.

 

[sangom]

Mr. K
You a NRI with western values, how can you tell us anything about anything (LOL). That too you are quoting a western women in a dress.

You mean western women in (some) dress is unusual?

 

[kunjuppu]

You mean western women in (some) dress is unusual?

Sangom,

Prasad was being facetious. .. attempting at humour. Between you and me, he has to try harder

 

[sarang]

Draupadi and polyandry

Whenever polyandry is raised, draupadi's name crops up and there is an immediate conclusion that polyandry has sanction and is more prevalent.

In draupadi's case, it became an issue because kunti said - share the gift amongst all, without knowing what the gift was.

All - kunti, pandavas, draupadi, her parents, brother were against draupadi marrying five princes. They even felt that sin will accrue to all.

How they solved such a complex issue by discussion of pros and cons, and made adjustments, is a lesson for all management gurus and politicians. They arrived at a solution that was accepted by all, and had checks and balances for smooth execution of the agreement throughout their life time.