• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Growing live-in relationships - is it threat to india?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Sastri
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Sastri

Guest
Since the dawn of 21st Century, Indian metros have witnessed mushroom growth of Live-in relationships which have become common among the high-salaried, the IT and the BT class of India. It is slowly spreading its tentacles and growing among the medium-salaried class and among other professions in the Indian Metros.

It would not be a wonder if it spreads to other towns, cities and rural areas too.

Is this a healthy trend and is this acceptable in India?

Would this not stain Indian culture?

Should we not bring in Laws to curb and stem this growth?
 
One will need Morality Police to enforce laws of such kind - and the morality policers have to be trained by the Talibans :-)

Indians love to ape the west

There is only 'aping the west' culture for most part amongst upper middle class Indians (this does not apply to all Indians and not our fellow members here :-) )

Indians need education , not laws
 
Dear Sri Sastri Ji,

On what basis you are claiming that these 'live-in' relationships are 'mushrooming' in Indian metros?

Can you provide data to back up your claim? Thanks.

Regards,
KRS

Sastri said:
Since the dawn of 21st Century, Indian metros have witnessed mushroom growth of Live-in relationships which have become common among the high-salaried, the IT and the BT class of India. It is slowly spreading its tentacles and growing among the medium-salaried class and among other professions in the Indian Metros.

It would not be a wonder if it spreads to other towns, cities and rural areas too.

Is this a healthy trend and is this acceptable in India?

Would this not stain Indian culture?

Should we not bring in Laws to curb and stem this growth?
Click to expand...
 
Sastri said:
Since the dawn of 21st Century, Indian metros have witnessed mushroom growth of Live-in relationships which have become common among the high-salaried, the IT and the BT class of India. It is slowly spreading its tentacles and growing among the medium-salaried class and among other professions in the Indian Metros.

It would not be a wonder if it spreads to other towns, cities and rural areas too.

Is this a healthy trend and is this acceptable in India?

Would this not stain Indian culture?

Should we not bring in Laws to curb and stem this growth?
Click to expand...

Dear Sir,

I think the greatest threat to any country is its security and safety.

This so called decay in morals fear does not pose any major threat in anyway.

Live in relationships is an individual and personal choice and this does not affect National Security and Safety.

Majority of India still is very "moral" but yet rape of even children is on the rise.


I have noticed that the more a society tries to play Moral Police and so called guard virtues..the more the incidences of immoral crimes.

I feel it is better we do not judge anyone.

Cos living in is not a crime.

A person who is in a live in relationship need not be a bad person...he/she is just sharing a living space with the person they are in a relationship with.

What others do behind close doors should not really be a grave concern more than what happens in broad daylight for example Corruption.
 
Dear Srimathi RR Ji,

Yes, all these mention or clarify what a 'live in' relationship is.

But the metrics is missing.

What is the percentage of Indians living in this 'live in' relationship, as opposed to, let us say 20 years ago?

Without this, how can one generalize this and draw conclusions as Sri Sastri Ji did? That is the issue.

Regards,
KRS

Raji Ram said:

Dear K R S Sir,

Please see these links:

Living in Relation in Delhi |Girls for Live in Relationship in Delhi

Law and 'Live-in' Relationships in India

Madhya Pradesh to recognize live-in relationships - Times Of India

Supreme Court of India clarifies live-in relationship
Click to expand...
 
There are few members in this forum, who constantly worry that Indian culture is being corrupted by "aping the west", some of them even live in the west.
There are great practices in the west, east and everywhere. No one can claim any original ideas or culture as totally indigenous to any region. There are bad practices all over the globe as well.
Every 'old' generation laments the progress of the present generation, it was true in the past, it will be same in future.
No one can stop time.
 
Last edited:
tks said:
One will need Morality Police to enforce laws of such kind - and the morality policers have to be trained by the Talibans :-)

Indians love to ape the west

There is only 'aping the west' culture for most part amongst upper middle class Indians (this does not apply to all Indians and not our fellow members here :-) )

Indians need education , not laws
Click to expand...

While I do agree with the gist of your post, I humbly beg to differ about the morality police needing to be trained by the Taliban. Lots of them in this very forum and many more in our own community. In fact I believe they could give the Taliban a run for their money! :D
 
Cultural values, at the simplest level, are commonly shared concepts about what is right, wrong, possible or impossible, true or false and so on. From there, it gets complicated. The arena of cultural values can be as small as each individual's personal set of decisions as to what is acceptable or not. The individual can be firmly set in deciding that existing cultural values are just fine and that no new or different ones are wanted or needed. The individual can be flexible, from being widely traveled, for example, and capable of adhering to the cultural values of many societies in the world. The individual can be required to adjust values as life conditions change.

Again, what are we lamenting?

Culture is in a perpetual state of change - the reason why some cultures retain more of their own distinct cultural forms over longer periods than others is because they continue to be relevant in the practical and/ or spiritual life and in the interaction between the individual and the group and their physical environment.Once a significant number of people in any given society/ community steers away from certain cultural values and practices etc. culture breaks up and forms new connections - following the principle that culture is a system of shared meaning - signs and values stand in for something that is meaningful only for as long as people see it as an important part of their life (within a group).
 
Last edited:
Dear Sri KRS,

Namaste,

Sri Sastry may be partly correct. Though there is no authentic data available for measuring "live in relationships", the News papers carry more news on the negative side of this relationship on daily basis at least in Bangalore.

Live in relationship is a part of changing social obligations or rather a compulsion due to natural factors. Loosening up of parental control over the boys and girls of marriageable age and economic independence have encouraged live-in relationship amongst them when they live away from their families. Some of them blossom into marriage eventually, and some other fail.

But, when I think independently on the subject I find live in relationship is not new to our (Hindu) Society. Till two generations back it was common in Malabar area to have "sambandam" (relationship), which was prevalent among Nair Community. Which was the foundation for the matrilineal system which was known as Marumakkathayam.

Similarly I view the arrangement to keep Devadasis by the Brahmins and the rich and mighty of the foregone era
as a "live in relationship" approved by the then Society, which had set rules for the same.

Let us not be alarmed by these Social changes. It is a natural evolution that no one can stop.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
Last edited:
In the olden days ONLY the stinking rich indulged in these practices
making it look like a status symbol of their wealth and prosperity.

Now the poor people do it to save money by sharing expenses and rent.

DINK = Double Income and No Kids
DINS = Double income and No Sex

Double Income and each one has his / her own, girl/ boy friend.
Same sex room mates become more than just room mates.

WE will never know what goes on behind the closed doors.
 
Last edited:
tks said:
One will need Morality Police to enforce laws of such kind - and the morality policers have to be trained by the Talibans :-)

Indians love to ape the west

There is only 'aping the west' culture for most part amongst upper middle class Indians (this does not apply to all Indians and not our fellow members here :-) )

Indians need education , not laws
Click to expand...

Shr.tks

No one can stop this Live-in-relationship choice of an individual. Aping the Western models is the fast growing fashion in India.

Now some asks, you use all the stuffs that is originated in western world BUT complain about adopting the western culture, then, haw fair can it be?

Such questioning shows that, these people could not find and understand the difference between an object and a healthy human life that is associated with other humans and could not realize that these humans can not be equated with any inanimate objects of comfort and luxury.

Just for an example, if we drive a German made care for a leisure trip to the outskirts, does it mean that we should load our car with Germany brewed brandy or whiskey to justify using a German Car for a leisure trip?


People who have mentally and emotionally migrated themselves to the Western World's Culture, being settled in Western World and People who are not even Indians but just have roots from India would certainly find concerned Indians (who are mentally and emotionally still an India irrespective of where they are) as much experts in moral policing than Talibans and in fact can train them much better for a good money..LOL!!

They either don't know what Taliban's ruling doctrines are and what sort of concerns we carry in preserving Indian culture that helps existence of healthy Indian Society OR they don't understand what pragmatism is while retaining Indian values of relationship


To ridicule the values of Culture of India and and her concerned Indians, these people come up with many such exaggerated taunting that can sooth these Indians with migrated mentality and the mentality of those who just find themselves having roots in India without any bit of real impact to value the Indian Culture of Relationship.


As you rightly said, Indians need education in line with the cultural values of India. BUT, unfortunately Indians have moral boost up as well for such live-in-relationships, being the idea justified and encouraged by emotionally and mentally migrated Indians and by those who are "Root Only Indians". These are the millions of people who have links in India of some kind and promote such concepts, in some way, that is the reason as well behind such relationship mushrooming up in India.



 
Dear Sri Brahmanyan Ji Sir,

You are always way ahead of me and I was about to post this when I saw your post:

LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP AMONG HINDUS: REINCARNATION OF MARRIAGE

Our ancient culture was based on allowing the human expression of all kinds, even in the area of marriage and love. Gandharva marriages, homosexual unions (yes, look up at the way this was allowed under certain circumstances), Chinna Veedu, Draupathi example, and even live-in relationships were allowed. There is nothing new under the sky in our long history, in any field of human endeavor and expression, including science and religious metaphysics.

So, when we say that a 'western value' is creeping up - yes, today, because of our 'Victorian' based prudish culture, this seems like an import. It has such a validity only from that basis.

I think, as magnificent as a culture we have, which fostered all thoughts and non hurtful adult behavior, the one biggest factor that dampened everything else is this darned casteism, in my opinion.

By the way, Sri Sastri Ji (If this handle correctly reflects his identity), has made many apriori statements that beg for validation, in his short time here. It is in this context I asked him to provide the backup.

Regards,
KRS

Brahmanyan said:
Dear Sri KRS,

Namaste,

Sri Sastry may be partly correct. Though there is no authentic data available for measuring "live in relationships", the News papers carry more news on the negative side of this relationship on daily basis at least in Bangalore.

Live in relationship is a part of changing social obligations or rather a compulsion due to natural factors. Loosening up of parental control over the boys and girls of marriageable age and economic independence have encouraged live-in relationship amongst them when they live away from their families. Some of them blossom into marriage eventually, and some other fail.

But, when I think independently on the subject I find live in relationship is not new to our (Hindu) Society. Till two generations back it was common in Malabar area to have "sambandam" (relationship), which was prevalent among Nair Community. Which was the foundation for the matrilineal system which was known as Marumakkathayam.

Similarly I view the arrangement to keep Devadasis by the Brahmins and the rich and mighty of the foregone era
as a "live in relationship" approved by the then Society, which had set rules for the same.

Let us not be alarmed by these Social changes. It is a natural evolution that no one can stop.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
Dear Srimathi RR Ji,

I said '20 years ago' to establish a baseline. The IT revolution was starting and the so called 'western influence' started then. That is why I threw out that number.

Regards,
KRS


Raji Ram said:
Was live in relationship there 20 years ago? :noidea:
Click to expand...
 
KRS said:
Dear Sri Brahmanyan Ji Sir,

You are always way ahead of me and I was about to post this when I saw your post:

LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP AMONG HINDUS: REINCARNATION OF MARRIAGE

Our ancient culture was based on allowing the human expression of all kinds, even in the area of marriage and love. Gandharva marriages, homosexual unions (yes, look up at the way this was allowed under certain circumstances), Chinna Veedu, Draupathi example, and even live-in relationships were allowed. There is nothing new under the sky in our long history, in any field of human endeavor and expression, including science and religious metaphysics.

So, when we say that a 'western value' is creeping up - yes, today, because of our 'Victorian' based prudish culture, this seems like an import. It has such a validity only from that basis.

I think, as magnificent as a culture we have, which fostered all thoughts and non hurtful adult behavior, the one biggest factor that dampened everything else is this darned casteism, in my opinion.

Regards,
KRS
Click to expand...

Shri KRS,

So, do you mean that the establishment of the whole family and social structure through all human evolution process resulting to what we have presently established to define family and society was a total failure?? It was all crape that lead to establishment of family and social living style backed up by legal instruments?

The colors of olden days relationship, love, expression of love etc..etc that you and other members are highlighting, to justify the current trend was not just the monopoly of Indian Culture BUT was there among all human species across the globe. When humans came into existence, were living in caves and no current national boundaries and civilizations were existing, humans definitely might have had crude living style without any family and social system. Humans gradually developed realizing the pros and cons of their living style, civilizations started to emerge, still people had all sort of expressions and actions (viz. gandharva kalyanam, chinna veedu, devadasi etc) and in due evolution process, finally established the definition and values of human living withing the frame work of Family and Society. When still some of this monkey minded humans didn't improve and made hell of fellow humans (spouse, other is society etc), law and order has to be improved and tightened.

What for was all these things done?

Can a wife accept her husband to have chinna veedu because in by gone days males had one?

How many families were happy and safe where husbands had Chinna Veedu set up?

Can a Father accept her daughter be a devadasi and feel proud of it because in those days devadasis existed and Men used their services?

Can we say that "live in relationship" is the most desirable living style without the need for commitment that family set up demands, because its the natural expressions of love and fulfillment of emotional and physical need of the human species?

Just because "live in relationship" as basic expression of love and need of physical fulfillment is adopted by western world, and the same have been gradually adopted in India, should we need to consider it as one of many changes in the society and thus has to be accepted with pride and pleasure? By justifying it with the living styles of by gone days in India/among Hindus or across the world among human species?

If the society is changing, then Yes, its changing and we can't do anything abut it. BUT, glorifying it and justifying it would show the deteriorating and rewinding status of human evolution.

 
are not our epics full of extra marital affairs, out of wedlock children and multiple husbands (draupadi). i find it only the tamil fascist groups like PMK against such stuff..but even in the august forum?

people will criticize it, till their son or daughter or ward enters a live in arrangement. suddenly, it will become a throwback to ancient culture. i have seen people change their minds radically, which had one strong view at one point, but overnight changed, when their child adopted the same.. most frequent of this, here in toronto, is inter religion (hindu muslim) or inter racial (brown white). so far we have only one girl marrying a black..fortunately she did this after so many IR/IR marriages, that it was a non issue :)
 
Last edited:
Dear C.Ravi Ji,

I am not glorifying or justifying any life style.

I am just saying that all these life styles existed, will exist forever, because some of our brethren are wired differently.

Like homo sexuality, which is observed even in animals is about 10% of the population. Likewise, 'live-in' relationships are not a majority, even in USA, this is a minority (about 15%) for obvious reasons. Security and status of children figure in to this.

For a country like India where the social stigma is there, I do not think that this is a very prevalent practice. One should also understand that these alternative lifestyle have limitations - no one wants to be a homosexual as a choice and believe me, a 'live-in' relationship is not as care free as one thinks. For a majority of folks this does not work. Again here, we have to split hairs between such relationships that end in a legal wedding ultimately and those that do not.

Being married to one person for life, according to our religion is a concept that other religions espouse (except for a notable few :). But, intellectually, one subscribes to this only on the basis of the concepts of individual and unique love and commitment, and a world where there is parity among the gender population.

Again, Sri C.Ravi Ji, please don't kill the messenger, who is only trying to state the obvious! :).

Regards,
KRS

C RAVI said:
Shri KRS,

So, do you mean that the establishment of the whole family and social structure through all human evolution process resulting to what we have presently established to define family and society was a total failure?? It was all crape that lead to establishment of family and social living style backed up by legal instruments?

The colors of olden days relationship, love, expression of love etc..etc that you and other members are highlighting, to justify the current trend was not just the monopoly of Indian Culture BUT was there among all human species across the globe. When humans came into existence, were living in caves and no current national boundaries and civilizations were existing, humans definitely might have had crude living style without any family and social system. Humans gradually developed realizing the pros and cons of their living style, civilizations started to emerge, still people had all sort of expressions and actions (viz. gandharva kalyanam, chinna veedu, devadasi etc) and in due evolution process, finally established the definition and values of human living withing the frame work of Family and Society. When still some of this monkey minded humans didn't improve and made hell of fellow humans (spouse, other is society etc), law and order has to be improved and tightened.

What for was all these things done?

Can a wife accept her husband to have chinna veedu because in by gone days males had one?

How many families were happy and safe where husbands had Chinna Veedu set up?

Can a Father accept her daughter be a devadasi and feel proud of it because in those days devadasis existed and Men used their services?

Can we say that "live in relationship" is the most desirable living style without the need for commitment that family set up demands, because its the natural expressions of love and fulfillment of emotional and physical need of the human species?

Just because "live in relationship" as basic expression of love and need of physical fulfillment is adopted by western world, and the same have been gradually adopted in India, should we need to consider it as one of many changes in the society and thus has to be accepted with pride and pleasure? By justifying it with the living styles of by gone days in India/among Hindus or across the world among human species?

If the society is changing, then Yes, its changing and we can't do anything abut it. BUT, glorifying it and justifying it would show the deteriorating and rewinding status of human evolution.
Click to expand...
 

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

We were NOT told the first part of Mahabharatham when we were young. All we knew was about a few

heroes, the greatest war and Krishna told Bhagavat Gita to Arjuna. In fact, I read the whole story in my

early twenties from Sri. Rajaji's book. Some books with talking animals are banned in some countries.

May be the 'saviors of Indian culture' will fight to ban Mahabharatham too?? :noidea:
 
C RAVI said:
Shri KRS,

So, do you mean that the establishment of the whole family and social structure through all human evolution process resulting to what we have presently established to define family and society was a total failure?? It was all crape that lead to establishment of family and social living style backed up by legal instruments?

The colors of olden days relationship, love, expression of love etc..etc that you and other members are highlighting, to justify the current trend was not just the monopoly of Indian Culture BUT was there among all human species across the globe. When humans came into existence, were living in caves and no current national boundaries and civilizations were existing, humans definitely might have had crude living style without any family and social system. Humans gradually developed realizing the pros and cons of their living style, civilizations started to emerge, still people had all sort of expressions and actions (viz. gandharva kalyanam, chinna veedu, devadasi etc) and in due evolution process, finally established the definition and values of human living withing the frame work of Family and Society. When still some of this monkey minded humans didn't improve and made hell of fellow humans (spouse, other is society etc), law and order has to be improved and tightened.

What for was all these things done?

Can a wife accept her husband to have chinna veedu because in by gone days males had one?

How many families were happy and safe where husbands had Chinna Veedu set up?

Can a Father accept her daughter be a devadasi and feel proud of it because in those days devadasis existed and Men used their services?

Can we say that "live in relationship" is the most desirable living style without the need for commitment that family set up demands, because its the natural expressions of love and fulfillment of emotional and physical need of the human species?

Just because "live in relationship" as basic expression of love and need of physical fulfillment is adopted by western world, and the same have been gradually adopted in India, should we need to consider it as one of many changes in the society and thus has to be accepted with pride and pleasure? By justifying it with the living styles of by gone days in India/among Hindus or across the world among human species?

If the society is changing, then Yes, its changing and we can't do anything abut it. BUT, glorifying it and justifying it would show the deteriorating and rewinding status of human evolution.
Click to expand...

Ravi: I understand your situation. some people in this forum are not going to accept your points, they will endlessly argue, they think they know it all. they think they are all bigger than our Genius Guru's. They will continue to preach live-in, homo, everything is alright, this is new age, & others have to change. So there is no point in discussing with these desi turned western. let me assure you, most of these people lives are messed up, their kids are in a even bigger mess, but they will continue to propagate this.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Share this page

Latest posts

Latest ads

Follow us on Social Media

Back
Top