How should we overcome our desires?

[Athreyan]

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Dear Raghy Sir,

Are you still not aware that we all know this: "unga vazhi, thaneeeeee vazhi!' :high5:

This sounds as if Raghy Sir is like Padayappa! ( Or Rajini). But most of us follow similar methods anyway. I could be wrong; but in post #63 it looks like Raghy Sir does not want to debate with Renuka. I don't want to offend anyone. But what Raghy sir says seems to be followed by almost everyone. Only thing is, he is saying that aloud.

Thanks.

 

[renuka]

Sowbagyavathy Renuka, Greetings.

It looks like everyone posted in this thread except me knows exactly what to do to overcome desires and exacctly how to acheive self-realisation.

Chances all these great persons may not have next janma at all. But I think, this earth should be populated. I am absolutely happy to take many more janmas again and again in this earth.

I have no desire to get any self-realisation. I love this life on thisd earth. Why not? For me, This is sorgam......

tamil song - Beer venuma brandy venuma - YouTube

I thank you and all the others who took part in this thread. You tried your level best to show me the way that you are convinced is right. But I am not taking any of those. I am happy to continue the way I live.

Cheers!

Dear Raghy,

You are grossly mistaken..no one in this thread was trying their level best to show you what is right and the best.

It was just individual opinions and the debate everyone had was nice and thought stimulating.

Everyone one of us have desires and that is the reason why we are born in the 1st place.

None of us are faultless and none of us are Jagatgurus out here.

All of us are in the same boat and some of us are honest enough to admit the truth about desires and how we enjoy them.

I do not see anything wrong if a person wants to enjoy his desires the way he knows best provided it does cause long term harm to him/her or anyone else.

So dear Raghy..all of us are mere humans..no one is extra special.

 

[renuka]

a doctor is treating a patient...do they not expect good results.
Shakuntala

Dear Shankuntala,

As a doctor I can tell you the mind set of most doctors.

The answer to your question is NO!

We doctors just try our best as we know off.It is somewhat mechanical at times.


If someone has a disease..we diagnose and treat without any expectations for good or bad.

We do not really expect the best of results cos anytime anything can take a different turn.

In fact it is dangerous for a doctor to be over confidently expecting the best of results cos then he/she might miss a worst case scenario situation.


Each stage in treating a patient is like just doing our duty.

We doctors can't really have a desire for each and every patient we treat.
That will be emotionally draining and disappointing.

It might sound strange to you but this is how I see my patients.

For example if a person is newly diagnosed with Hypertension.
I would work him/her up with all the required blood test etc and then start him/her on treatment and follow up the patient.

When I see the patient again..if the control is still not yet attained, I change the medication and once the control is attained..I just continue the medication and follow up the patient regularly.

At no stage I am going "yes!! I have achieved the target BP control for patient and feel Yes! I have done it! and got the expected results for the patient"

Believe me doctors do not think that way.
We just see a patient,treat him/her and outcome is not in our hands.

 

[Raji Ram]

........ But what Raghy sir says seems to be followed by almost everyone. Only thing is, he is saying that aloud. ....

Is it so, Sir? Then I may have to change my views very soon!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

You have a philosophical outlook of life and so you do NOT boast about your successful treatments. You strongly believe that

the Almighty has HIS own way. But most of the doctors have a TARGET to achieve, which we can very well call as their desire.

Just have a look at the advertisements by SingArach Chennai hospitals.


My brother resigned his job in a top ranking hospitals at Thiruvananthapuram - the then Trivandrum - just because he was
asked to advise surgeries, which were not needed for some patients, just to achieve the target! :target:

 

[Raji Ram]

This sounds as if Raghy Sir is like Padayappa! ( Or Rajini). ........

Dear Sir,

You have just entered this forum. Please read more posts by Raghy Sir!

He is a true friend to all of us here! :grouphug:

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

You have a philosophical outlook of life and so you do NOT boast about your successful treatments. You strongly believe that

the Almighty has HIS own way. But most of the doctors have a TARGET to achieve, which we can very well call as their desire.

Just have a look at the advertisements by SingArach Chennai hospitals.


My brother resigned his job in a top ranking hospitals at Thiruvananthapuram - the then Trivandrum - just because he was
asked to advise surgeries, which were not needed for some patients, just to achieve the target! :target:

Dear RR ji,

I can understand why your brother left.
Hats off to him.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

My father was elated by my brother's resignation. Then he joined his Alma mater at Pondicherry and served for a few years.

Now he is deputy V C (Academic and international affairs) at AIMST university, Penang. :thumb:

 

[sundachu]

One cannot unless he is a saint.

 

[Raji Ram]

[/b][/b] ..... 'அதீதம்' என்பதின் அளவுகோல் எது...? ....

After raking my brain for sometime, I could think of an answer. If we wish to get something which is not within our means, then it

can be labeled 'அதீதம்'. Many persons wish to buy whatever the neighbor has bought, whether they need it or whether they can

pay for it! There is a beautiful film song which explains this:

http://youtu.be/4DvC_ooYhwM

 

[Raji Ram]

One cannot unless he is a saint.

In kaliyugA, many of the so called saint only have lots and lots of desires!! opcorn:

Please have a look at the standard of their living - the cars used by them, the place they stay, the money they get and so on!

Rarely we see persons like Kanchi ParamAchAryA, who taught us simple living and high thinking. :high5:

 

[sarang]

All the traditional, conservative and varna-sect mutts - shaivite, vaishnavite and madhva mutts - are run without money power and pomp by the acharyas.

 

[renuka]

Many persons wish to buy whatever the neighbor has bought, whether they need it or whether they can

pay for it!

Dear RR ji,

I was asking my mum today..does it matter to you what car the neighbour drives?

She replied "BTW I have not even noticed who drives what in the neighbourhood..who cares who drives what."

Most of us are so busy in life to even know who lives next door.

Dear RR ji...I do not even know my neighbour's name.

You know one of my son's classmate's father drives a BMW even though he does not earn much and he goes around borrowing money from others just to make ends meet at home.

Once he asked my father to lend him RM 1000.

I told my father not to lend money to people who drive BMW but can't afford to pay for it.

They should know not to desire beyond their means.

 

[Athreyan]

One cannot unless he is a saint.

Sir,

One need not be a saint. When I look at the titile, it says " How to overcome" not how to control, not how to supress, but how to overcome. Whoever started this thread knws the meaning. It is like bathing in the ocean along with the waves. Waves never stop; if we wait for the waves to stop, we can never take a dip. Similarly, desires never stop; we have to do what ever we think is required for our spriritual advancement. Every breath we take is a desire, sir. We want to live. If we try to control, where is the limit to control? Every person can and will overcome their desire by indulging, by controling, sometimes by supressing. It is all of the combination put together. Even a saint has to breath, has to eat. Eating and breathing itself is a desire, Sir.

The topic is like a trick question. On top of that Raghy Sir is diverting everyone as much as he can. Even he posted a very attractive girls picture to really confuse everyone. From what he says, Raghy Sir must have searched for that picture.

In my opinion, everyone of us can overcome our desires by simple common sense.

Thanks.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

The way we are brought up matters a lot in our lives. If our parents live within their means, then there is no need

to teach us the same outlook in life. There was no credit card when our parents were running the household. Now

many guys buy all unwanted stuff just because they have the credit card in hand!!

 

[Athreyan]

Dear Sir,

You have just entered this forum. Please read more posts by Raghy Sir!

He is a true friend to all of us here! :grouphug:

Raji Ram maam,

I read some of the messages. He is not just frank, I think he is "raw". He knows what to drink.

Thanks.

 

[shakuntala]

Yes, you are absolutely right. No end to desires...they always crop up. So, one should draw a line for desires.To be contented with what one has...not to compete with others...it need not be materialistic things, in anything.It need not be always a car or a diamond necklace or something else. If a friend's son gets seat in a big institute...let one congratulate him. Don't pressurise your child to go for it. Accept things as they are.Set a code of conduct and value system and stick to it...at least as much as possible. We can live at peace.

 

[prasad1]

Raji Ram maam,

I read some of the messages. He is not just frank, I think he is "raw". He knows what to drink.

Thanks.

We do joke with Mr. Raghy, and he is a good sport. He is honest in his post, and fresh.
Please choose your words appropriately, and Like Mrs. Raji said please get to know his style.
:argue:

 

[guruvayurappan]

Dear Renu,

My father was elated by my brother's resignation. Then he joined his Alma mater at Pondicherry and served for a few years.

Now he is deputy V C (Academic and international affairs) at AIMST university, Penang. :thumb:

dear raji ram !
உன் கொள்கைகளை விடாதே .உனது நேர்மை உன்னை உயர்வுக்கு கொண்டு வரும் என்பது உங்கள் சகோதரர் மூலம் அறிய மகிழ்ச்சி
your honesty will be rewarded at appropriate time is proved in your brother case we want more persons like in all fields.

 

[Athreyan]

We do joke with Mr. Raghy, and he is a good sport. He is honest in his post, and fresh.
Please choose your words appropriately, and Like Mrs. Raji said please get to know his style.
:argue:

Sir,

Please don't mistake me. When I said 'raw', I said that in compliment. Raghy Sir is a kind of person who would take the word 'raw' as a compliment. Raghy Sir said he frequents porno sites; the word 'raw' is much liked word in such sites for brutally open and frank comments. If he is this brutal in this forum, I can imagine his dialogue in those forums. I am not young now but I was young once. I know the languages used there. Please don't mistake me. I did not mean any offence.

Thanks.

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear prasad !
you expressed my sentiment also the comment made about Mr.Raghy by mr.Athreyan.
but Mr. Athreyan also accepted his frank thinking

 

[prasad1]

Sir,

Please don't mistake me. When I said 'raw', I said that in compliment. Raghy Sir is a kind of person who would take the word 'raw' as a compliment. Raghy Sir said he frequents porno sites; the word 'raw' is much liked word in such sites for brutally open and frank comments. If he is this brutal in this forum, I can imagine his dialogue in those forums. I am not young now but I was young once. I know the languages used there. Please don't mistake me. I did not mean any offence.

Thanks.

You are probably correct. But sometimes words can have different connotations. Look at word "gay" for instance. LOL

 

[vijay_sivasubramanian]

Raghy,

I apologise if you felt that my post was directed at you. It was absolutely not my intention to judge you personally; may be I should stated my views better.

Sir, you are welcome not to subscribe with my views. But why do you have to add the high-lighted portion? Is it added to make it sarcastic? When you don't subscribe to an idea, why should you make fun of that idea by this kind of sarcastic remark?

I can assure you that it was not a sarcastic remark. It was a honest question; when someone fulfills his desire with a view of eradicating it in the future, what happens if the desire overcomes the person? Suppose I get attracted to the girl who sits next to me at work. If I think I will commit adultery just once and give up my desire, will it work? Even if I can make myself get over the guilt, is this an acceptable behaviour? Again, please do not think I'm judging anyone personally. In this day and age, where new age thinking is challenging our core value systems like never before, these are questions and struggles everybody faces in day to day situations.

Finally, can this "I personally believe the good way to overcome a desire is by indulging in the same desire on a overdrive fashion, enjoy as much as possible and be done with it" be employed with a child/teen successfully? It makes me think it will be dangerous, but again, it is my personal opinion.

Your opinion doesn't count. You are not married to this man, are you? This man says he spoke to his wife over the phone from the strip joint; it is for his wife to set the rule where he can go and where he can't go. His wife is perfectly fine with him knowing very well this man has much better sense control than falling for some random girl in a strip joint. That kind of comfortable relationship between a man and his wife may be way over your head; but, it is daily occurance for this man and his wife. together they set the rules which control them. Thay don't care about any random person's opinion.

Ofcourse, my opinion doesn't count at all. Who said so? The fact that the question was posted in an open internet forum and OP himself had posted certain circumstances in his post, led to this particular discussion. My intention is to learn from discussions and nothing else. Please do not think otherwise.

Did you read the first sentence from Ramana Maharishi? What did I say differently? Following sentences in that reply may not apply to this man; have you thought about that possibility?

Cheers!

Ofcourse Sir, no advice is universal. All the discussion over here (I believe) are with an intention to help oneself get rid of the ignorance. Else, this is just futile! Apologies again.

 

[Raghy]

Sri. Athreyan, Greetings. Welcome to the forum.

One need not be a saint. When I look at the titile, it says " How to overcome" not how to control, not how to supress, but how to overcome. Whoever started this thread knws the meaning. It is like bathing in the ocean along with the waves. Waves never stop; if we wait for the waves to stop, we can never take a dip. Similarly, desires never stop; we have to do what ever we think is required for our spriritual advancement. Every breath we take is a desire, sir. We want to live. If we try to control, where is the limit to control? Every person can and will overcome their desire by indulging, by controling, sometimes by supressing. It is all of the combination put together. Even a saint has to breath, has to eat. Eating and breathing itself is a desire, Sir.

That is a good observation. I like the way you put it when you said even breathing and eating are desires! Good one!

The topic is like a trick question. On top of that Raghy Sir is diverting everyone as much as he can. Even he posted a very attractive girls picture to really confuse everyone. From what he says, Raghy Sir must have searched for that picture.

No my friend! The topic is not a trick question. The topic is a simple honest question. The girl's picture in post #30 is the true representation of my desire; for that anyone's desire. ( I did not include a picture of a male with a six-pack figure to represent girl's desire; girls may desire jewellery, cash, expensive car, grand house... a guy may be very low in their list but the boys want just one thing that is an attractive girl!). i did not try to confuse anyone. You see, lot of people go to temples and drool at the girls at the temple; I go to erotic sites and marvel the presence of philosophy even in those sites! I honestly thought desires can be overcome by indulging. You see, I am not the only one who think like that; other great personalities seem to think so too! For example, this is what Oscar Wilde thinks about temptations...



It takes more than common sense to overcome temptations. Good luck to you!

Cheers!

 

[Raghy]

Raji Ram maam,

I read some of the messages. He is not just frank, I think he is "raw". He knows what to drink.

Thanks.

Sri. Athreyan,

You are not bad at all! 'Raw', eh!... I like that! But mostly it's a girls comment; not usually a boy's comment. I was known to be 'raw'. But not here. I know, I know what to drink. Is there anything else to drink? Nothing to beat JD. ( Don't tell me you drink that too!).

Cheers!