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- Thread starter carvaka
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tbs
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hi amala garu...
naakku vadama root undhi......tatamangalam vaadulu vadama .....telusu gada....thiruvaiyaru vadulu velanati vaadulu....
regards
tbs
tbs
0
hi amala gaaru,
tatamangalam pattar vallu antharu vadama ......thillai sthanam thiruvaiyaru vaddulu telugu velanati vaadulu....so vadama with
vellanatti vaadule.... naaku telusu kaadha...meeru cheppa kondane naaku telusu....thiruvaiyaru tyga brahmam pooja chesa vaadulu
kuda velanati telugu vaadule......tatamangalam whole pattar village belongs to vadama only......just info...
regards
tbs
C RAVI
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ound:
N
nachi naga
Guest
TBSgaru,
Chaala thanks andi info.
Others trying in teluguchaala baagundi (very nice!)
ikkada okka ghoshti allagay okka desamu vocchinndi
tbs
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TBSgaru,
Chaala thanks andi info.
Others trying in telugu
hi amala garu
manamu telugulu matladate......vallu kuda antharikki telugulu malatlatamani anipusthundhi....telugu vaalukku raadhu.....kani
manamu matlatdam kaada...dhaani valla......ikkada antharu manavadule.....
regards
tbs
Dear Valli,
You have a family jewel(a carefully preserved one which has passed hands in the family through generations) which is precious and has been inherited by you. Your daughter, in a moment of weakness(a moment of free-will decision making according to her), gives it away to someone. You may pardon your daughter because she is your daughter but the loss of the precious treasure can never be forgotten and the ineptness in giving it away can never be forgiven. This is perhaps the synopsis of the story so far told in length.
You have a family jewel(a carefully preserved one which has passed hands in the family through generations) which is precious and has been inherited by you. Your daughter, in a moment of weakness(a moment of free-will decision making according to her), gives it away to someone. You may pardon your daughter because she is your daughter but the loss of the precious treasure can never be forgotten and the ineptness in giving it away can never be forgiven. This is perhaps the synopsis of the story so far told in length.
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Dear Shri Raju
So, you are comparing 'brahmin caste' to 'family jewel and precious treasure'!! Oh dear! And the parents and all relatives behave the way they do because the daughter gave it to some NB? So, a mere lifeless jewel means more than a living being - the daughter?? Fantastic!
This creates more questions in my mind!
1. Was there only one family jewel and the daughter stole it and gave it away? So, now the girls side family are bared of their brahmin status and are immediately declared nonbrahmins?
2. Did the nonbrahmin who received the jewel automatically became a brahmin?
3. If the parents had passed on the jewel to the daughter and she decided to do what she wanted to do with, being an adult, how come it would mean the loss of a precious jewel? You can only give a gift to someone, you cannot control what the person does with the gift, or can you?
The pain suffered has nothing to do with the actual rituals, eating the food or wanting to be recognised as a brahmin in brahmin functions. It is all about being included as a family member. I have seen many love marriages between B and NB, but only brahmins exclude the concerned member in even coming to the death house (oh, yeah, they can come, put the garland on the deceased person and walk away as quickly as possible. They should not even dare to ask for a glass of water even if they are dying of thirst!).
Finally, if this is what is going on in the minds of brahmins and if this is their mind set, well, I am glad that the daughter chose a person who values a living person more than a lifeless precious jewel, never mind how precious it is - hell with it!
Thanks for replying, Sir!
Kind regards
renuka
Well-known member
After reading your post Valli..I can understand what you are trying to convey.
Frankly speaking in this world there is no real jewel except the Crown Jewel Of Viveka(Viveka Chudamani) to know real from unreal.
Thats the only jewel we take with us upon death and not any jewel that comes with a name or form or caste or creed.
sangom
0
Smt. Valli,
I am glad that Shri Raju stopped with the singular and did not venture into the plural
Shri raju's message is plain. Each Tabra boy or girl is as precious as a jewel (Kohinoor) and this value gets added to him/her because he/she has been brought up in the so-called tabra way of life, whatever it may mean or consist of. This valued jewel has now been lost, irrecoverably because of "varNasamkara" which troubled the valorous Arjuna also in the Kurukshetra.
There is no question of the jewel being passed on to the NB husband, because the moment that girl, your cousin, wed that NB youth, all her tabra qualities must have evaporated in a nanosecond !
Shri Raju's view is typical of what we, the brahmin-bashers or BAAs according to Shri tks, usually call brahminism. May be we should be more specific and type typical conservative tabra mindset.
All that apart, the family/families which have ostracized that girl who married an NB are, permit me to use the word, rank foolish. They are so foolish that they did not bring up a child but only yet another brahmin womb and this was the pov of many of our smritis. That is why Krishna terms women and sudras as "paapayoni" in Gita. So, no wonder Shri raju follows Krishna; moksham is one step nearer to him.
If, at a later date, someone happens to realize the value of that girl, she or they will never be able to get back even one second from all that lost time. They will then not be able to justify their action even to their conscience.
It is ironically in such ultra-conservative families that children probably get suffocated in this modern period and in an effort to break free of this they prefer a non-brahmin atmosphere. We tabras should realize this and as long as the choice of our daughter is not foolish (like falling in love with a good for nothing fellow who will guarantee a miserable life ahead) we should come to terms even granting that in the initial stages some friction, quarrel and aloofness etc., may happen due to ordinary human weaknesses.
I hope the family of that girl becomes aware of these and makes amends as early as possible.
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Dear Valli,
Your specific line - It is all about being included as a family member - conveys it all.
Rejection from one's own family is quite an unthinkable situation to be in.
Why not some of you sponsor a trip for the elders in your family, if possible, -- i mean, if they go and tour some countries, maybe they will realise how large the world is, how myriad its cultures are, etc, etc. Then maybe their mindset will change for the better.
Perhaps they know not what other kinds of problems people face - like terminal illness, bankaruptcy, etc etc. Maybe they have not been in grave or difficult situations themselves. That is why they are behaving foolishly by having someone to love with them; and yet rejecting their loved one. Hope they will not regret it when its too late.
Best wishes.
Your specific line - It is all about being included as a family member - conveys it all.
Rejection from one's own family is quite an unthinkable situation to be in.
Why not some of you sponsor a trip for the elders in your family, if possible, -- i mean, if they go and tour some countries, maybe they will realise how large the world is, how myriad its cultures are, etc, etc. Then maybe their mindset will change for the better.
Perhaps they know not what other kinds of problems people face - like terminal illness, bankaruptcy, etc etc. Maybe they have not been in grave or difficult situations themselves. That is why they are behaving foolishly by having someone to love with them; and yet rejecting their loved one. Hope they will not regret it when its too late.
Best wishes.
IMHO,We should not take a general view on the basis of a solitary instance of intercaste or interreligious marriages where one party(BOY OR GIRLis from Brahmin community) and try to blame only parents.It all depends on how the TB boy or Tb girl took their parents into confidence
before their love marriage.If Tb boys or TB girls think that they have become adults
and can take their own decision without taking their parents into confidence,they should not expect the parents to give post facto recognition,forget and forgive once they have married the girl or boy of one's choice.In some cases the parents may forget and forgive.In some other cases the parents may have their own grouse that they have been ignored by their wards after staying with them for a number of years.
So I may not like to blame the parents without knowing the full facts of individual cases and I may not like to take an onesided view.
before their love marriage.If Tb boys or TB girls think that they have become adults
and can take their own decision without taking their parents into confidence,they should not expect the parents to give post facto recognition,forget and forgive once they have married the girl or boy of one's choice.In some cases the parents may forget and forgive.In some other cases the parents may have their own grouse that they have been ignored by their wards after staying with them for a number of years.
So I may not like to blame the parents without knowing the full facts of individual cases and I may not like to take an onesided view.
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sangom
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Smt Renuka,
The traditional interpretation and perhaps grammatically appropriate meaning has been to consider women, vaiśyas and śūdras as explaining who are "pāpayonayaḥ". Sankara also follows that line only. But in tune with the times, the latter day commentators waffle and try to add instead to pāpayonayaḥ which is explained even as the criminal tribes legislated by the British
I feel the traditional interpretation, to which Sankara subscribes must be taken as authentic though it may be satyaṃ apriyaṃ today.
मां हि पार्थ व्यपाश्रित्य यॆऽपि स्युः पापयॊनयः ।
स्त्रियो वैश्यास्तथा शूद्रास्तॆऽपि यान्ति परां गतिम् ॥९-३२॥
māṃ hi pārtha vyapāśritya ye:'pi syuḥ pāpayonayaḥ |
striyo vaiśyāstathā śūdrāste:'pi yānti parāṃ gatim ||9-32||
Because, O Partha! taking shelter in Me, women, vaiśyas, śūdras and others born in a sinful class (such as the lowest classes, etc.) obtain the highest state.
śaṃkara’s commentary on the above śloka is given below :
मां हि - यस्मात्
पार्थ
व्यपाश्रित्य - मां आश्रयत्वॆन गृहीत्वा
यॆ अपि
स्यु:- भवेयुः
पापयॊनयः - पापा योनिः येषां तॆ पापयॊनयः पापजन्मानः
कॆ तॆ इति आह - स्त्रियो वैश्याः तथा शूद्राः
तॆ अपि
यान्ति - गच्छन्ति
परां गतिम् - प्रकृष्टां गतिम्
māṃ hi - yasmāt
pārtha vyapāśritya - māṃ āśrayatvena gṛhītvā
ye api
syu:- bhaveyuḥ
pāpayonayaḥ - pāpā yoniḥ yeṣāṃ te pāpayonayaḥ pāpajanmānaḥ
ke te iti āha - striyo vaiśyāḥ tathā śūdrāḥ
te api
yānti - gacchanti
parāṃ gatim - prakṛṣṭāṃ gatim
They who are of sinful birth, are pāpayonayaḥ. Who are they? -Women, vaiśyas as well as śūdras. Even they attain to the supreme goal, O Partha, if they come to Me, seeking shelter in Me.
sangom
0
Shri Krishnamurthy sir,
Namaskaram. IC or IR marriage occurs singly, not in batches, till now. Hence our general views have to be based on what each one of us feels on the basis of all the cases we know so far. And I don't agree that we can adopt a policy of "you tell me the person, I will tell you the rule" principle.
My observation so far has been that the parents and immediate family of brahmin girls who marry ic, ir, do patch up soon even if they have some differences, objections in the initial stages. The parents, the concerned pair and the community (I am talking of ours only - I don't know about the others) are not at all losers and are all happy at the end of the day.
I have yet to come across a case of continued grouse, dislike and ostracisation.
I agree with BK. I think the behavior of the parents under discussion could be more to do with the fact that their girl defied them and chose a partner herself rather than to do with caste. Unlike the west, where the children are made to fend for themselves early in their life, in India, parents take care of children until the time they go to work (i.e. early or mid twentys). In the west, it is normal to date and is customary for the children to choose their own partner and the parents could care less. This is not the case in India. The parents under discussion could not overcome their disappointment and this thevasam and religious ceremonies are an excuse for them to display their disappointment and anger.
sangom,
i am bound to agree with you.
my only thought at where reconciliation is held off, is maybe, maybe, at the instigation of other relatives. and probably, and that too, probably, inheritance money may be involved. i am not talking of valli's instance, but generalizing here based on what i have seen happen in other families.
remember, these days hindu girls are entitled to the same percentage of property as the boys. the only way to override it, is to influence the concerned folks, to write wills against the interests of the girls. i cannot believe that parents will be that much unforigiving but you never know.
re shunning from pondugal idal and thevasam, we are all crazy when it comes to the netherworlds. i have seen thoroughly liberated tambram women and white women partake on those functions. and we have others, who, even if they marry a non iyer brahmin, is shunned, let alone, a NB. there is no reason or rhyme for stupidity and ignorance.
very sad though.
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Dear Friends, every one of us, know fully well the trend on marriages taking place with other caste Boys/ Girls. some of us may have had the first hand experience either within their relatives or friends. I think this trend is increasing because the girls are working with other community boys as colleagues in work places . Though, the parents would have started looking for suitable boys, when she had started earning &start saving enough money. This is the crucial time, when the girl gets involved with the Boys , who by now, would have impressed her that he is prepared to marry. She & He , according to me are infatuated ,as all the environments are favorable, she dares to go against her parents. She starts working our her plan with the boy . As & when the parents come to know of this they are SHOCKED not knowing what to do ?
In most cases the parents become a victim of their daughters obstinance & reluctantly decide & look for reasons to tell their relatives / friends & express their predicament. besides the common trend is that the close relatives who could otherwise try to get the Girl out of this muddle, would not venture, because they would be criticized badly. Besides our nature is not to take BOLd / drastic action & we always reconcile & succumb.
All attend such marriages & reluctantly Bless the Girl. saying "after all it is she, who will be leading the life (in the U.S. ) in a country beyond reach & opportunity to meet the girl also remote.
Let the newly weds reap the consequences, whatever? If divorce takes place, it becomes their funeral (figuritively) Question will always daunt like this :- If she divorces, with a child or without a child, her life is doomed. Any proposal for 2nd marriage will be hell for all of them ( incidentally, my wife , being an Astrologer, in Chennai is approached by such parents to find a solution in such a helpless situation--sometimes before the marriage , or possibility of performing Pariharams,& many after divorce , posing for 2nd marriage ) Since the Mother is really having pains, they seek practical solutions from my wife who is also a talented Counsellor, they get much relief & tell others.
A.Srinivasan) (Rishikesan)
In most cases the parents become a victim of their daughters obstinance & reluctantly decide & look for reasons to tell their relatives / friends & express their predicament. besides the common trend is that the close relatives who could otherwise try to get the Girl out of this muddle, would not venture, because they would be criticized badly. Besides our nature is not to take BOLd / drastic action & we always reconcile & succumb.
All attend such marriages & reluctantly Bless the Girl. saying "after all it is she, who will be leading the life (in the U.S. ) in a country beyond reach & opportunity to meet the girl also remote.
Let the newly weds reap the consequences, whatever? If divorce takes place, it becomes their funeral (figuritively) Question will always daunt like this :- If she divorces, with a child or without a child, her life is doomed. Any proposal for 2nd marriage will be hell for all of them ( incidentally, my wife , being an Astrologer, in Chennai is approached by such parents to find a solution in such a helpless situation--sometimes before the marriage , or possibility of performing Pariharams,& many after divorce , posing for 2nd marriage ) Since the Mother is really having pains, they seek practical solutions from my wife who is also a talented Counsellor, they get much relief & tell others.
A.Srinivasan) (Rishikesan)
It is all in the upbringing.It is all about the dad fopr girls and mom for sons.My mom drilled into me the pride and ethics,she knows what i am.I can assure you,if i bring someone else home,she ll shun me off even if i am the only son.
Same thing with the dad,if the dad has such pride then the daughter ll know what to do abt it.If the dad is a dummy piece,then the daughter wont care.Thats how it works.
It is all about the pride folks,if u dont have it or if it doesn't matter,then screw it.Why bother?
Same thing with the dad,if the dad has such pride then the daughter ll know what to do abt it.If the dad is a dummy piece,then the daughter wont care.Thats how it works.
It is all about the pride folks,if u dont have it or if it doesn't matter,then screw it.Why bother?
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