Kadalikka Neramillai Kadalippar Yarumillai

[P.J.]

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Dear Sir,

There is a time frame called transition zone where a person might want to test a new relationship before officially breaking off the old relationship.

If the new relationship has some plus points only then the old one is discarded..otherwise the old relationship is still maintained for good.

Even a caterpillar gets a firm grip on the next leaf before it leaves the old leaf to move on...if the new leaf is unstable..the caterpillar hangs on still to the old leaf.

So it was during that transition zone that she got caught.


Just like if we are in the transition period deciding to buy a new car or stick to the old car.

We will go to show room and test drive new car and then decide to buy or not.

Then we might go home..thinking that the old car is still in a good condition..so should we buy or not?

So that's why we felt sorry for her cos one should not be held guilty when the mind is in the Manas state and not yet made a decision.

Renuka
Appreciate your explanation; but going with different guys is not like Test Driving and at times the test Drive might end up adding an additional weight to that person!!

 

[renuka]

Renuka
Appreciate your explanation; but going with different guys is not like Test Driving and at times the test Drive might end up adding an additional weight to that person!!

Dear Sir,

Anyway most guys are like a bunch of crash test dummies!LOL
If the car is good they survive the test drive!

 

[kunjuppu]

dear PJ
wonderful thread i am sure many should come forward and share and here is mine as usual our parents are always right from the beginning even if they do mistake and my pop was no different he was a railway official with agreat connection and i still remember a guy telling him how he wanted his girl to be like hema malini's eyes and jaya bhadhuri's hair and so on so my dad just had to hurry in those days 21 was a danger line for girls and i had secured a 1st class in my pre university wanted to study further as my enthusiasm to study began then but my parents had other ideas they got me married to a CABF guy telling all kinds of lie a hotelier and so on, his own flats and hotel in kolkata as every women seek good security as their first step towards getting out of their home.. only to find CABF stood for cambridge applied but failed....he did not have an iota of what is hotel business except take money from kallapetti and spend on girls.... the cotrast of all is the horoscope matched at 35 on 36 only to find nothing there too later in life...to top it my dad said i would shoot u if u refuse this guy and i shot my fate itself and lived a life too pathetic for me to look back now...raw deals scrape away love and i never knew whether human has love at all.....

i enjoy this song though especially the line maamiyar kodumai illai maamanaar yarum illai hehehe

dear sunkan,

so sorry to hear your story.

forcing the girls to what appeared to be a good match, happened all the time, i think, upto the 2000, when IT took off, and provided a clear lucrative career path for our girls, and along with it, the empowerment.

if you dont mind me asking you, how did you handle this CABF guy? did you and are you now maintaining him? what was your father's reaction when all this came out? hopefully the man was contrite enough, to support you, and help you move on. even in many such cases, i have seen parents, tell the girl, to 'make the best' of it and not leave the husband.

so sorry, again.

 

[tbs]

hi
CABF means...sorry..just curiosity....

 

[Raghy]

hi
CABF means...sorry..just curiosity....

Quoting Sunkan.....

only to find CABF stood for cambridge applied but failed

 

[Raji Ram]

........ CABF means...sorry..just curiosity....

Dear TBS Sir,

Ever since this thread started, you seem to be too confused!

When I read CABF degree (!!) I was reminded of the 'officer post' called SSO!!

You know what? Simply Sitting Officer! :lol:

 

[Raghy]

Dear TBS Sir,

Ever since this thread started, you seem to be too confused!

When I read CABF degree (!!) I was reminded of the 'officer post' called SSO!!

You know what? Simply Sitting Officer! :lol:

I heard about FRCS. I actually thought that guy was a FRCS.... turned out, FRCS in his case expanded to " Fooling round the Country Side" !

 

[Raji Ram]

Our family friend, another doctor, used to say this, to remember R S V P funda!

Reply so varAdhu pOnAl. (reply so if you are not coming)

 

[C RAVI]

காதலிக்க நேரம் இருக்கோ எல்லையோ, தைரியம் இருக்கோ இல்லையோ
காதாளிக்கவும், காதிளிக்கபடுவர்துக்கும், காதல் கைகூடவர்துக்கும் ஒருவர்க்கு அதிர்ஷ்டம் வேண்டும்.

I loved a girl, one of my female colleagues when I was working in Chennai. She was a Iyer girl, an intelligent and vibrant personality. Calm and quite, concerned only with her work with all her dedication. She was very responsible and sensible girl. Just smiles and hardly argue with others. She was one of my team members.

Had to interact with her a lot, officially, during the office hours and with in the office premises.

Within 8 months I developed a strong liking for her and so was her reactions towards me that other colleagues of mine too could figure out. We could feel towards each other but held our self back

Neither I had the courage to express myself nor this girl. My lack of courage was not just because she is a girl and am shy to propose. But, it was due to my self imposed restrictions considering her parents who are rest assured that her daughter is working in a good office and she will not get distracted by such stuffs.

Exactly like Shri Kunjuppu's mom, my mother is the one in our home who is terribly strict with her daughter and sons. We can't even talk to our Mama's daughter in a one to one conversation, away from the crowd, though visible to all others.

Her strictness and lectures got drilled in our brains such that, we felt loving and proposing a girl is not a responsible act. Is in not the right way of approach to get your dream girl in your life and does not demonstrate our sense of discipline and respect towards girl's family.

She been brought up in Agraharam in those days, under strict discipline and orthodoxy, had the same ways to mold us.

The days passed by in our office and I was glad to note that she got a good alliance from Delhi. She left our office after 14 months of her work with us. She got married and settled down in Delhi with her husband working in finance in some group of companies.

Those 14 months were period of extreme joy and a sort of flying sensation..LOL!! Now when I look back, I regret for having missed something important that I should have not missed.

What to do? I strongly feel that we cant over rule our destiny. And I convince myself that my pain is nothing compared to the pains of those who loved mutually and sincerely and had to go apart due some strong situations playing against them.

 

[P.J.]

RAVI SIR

These lines impressed me

"Those 14 months were period of extreme joy and a sort of flying sensation"

 

[sunkan]

dear sunkan,

so sorry to hear your story.

forcing the girls to what appeared to be a good match, happened all the time, i think, upto the 2000, when IT took off, and provided a clear lucrative career path for our girls, and along with it, the empowerment.

if you dont mind me asking you, how did you handle this CABF guy? did you and are you now maintaining him? what was your father's reaction when all this came out? hopefully the man was contrite enough, to support you, and help you move on. even in many such cases, i have seen parents, tell the girl, to 'make the best' of it and not leave the husband.

so sorry, again.

kunjuppu,
my parents had to accept and that too in a grand manner they said that was u fate we could do nothing about we showed u three guys but u were ok with this one, i thought the lined up profile and even after i told them he was a womaniser they could only say he promised us in front of aiyappa picture that he is never that i thought ok my fate lined up from pot to fire let me move on, yes i had a tough time tough time indeed today at 60 i think and look back and am happy i am 60 and this life is over and thankfully my children are good to me both girls take care and i can relax now but those days was tiring i should say....
i did all things i never dreamt about like they show in the films with a sewing machine kind i had to knit sew, cook, sing do anything to keep the burner at home and then the children once they grew up that is by 16 itself they had to study and work and keep it going now one is married she has three deg and waiting for the second one to settle....thanku for those soothing word sorry to hear me out...

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Ravi,

You really missed the bus! You should have talked to her first, then to your mother and convinced. But I think the 'funda' of

horoscope matching might have come in the way, since you are not destined to marry her! காதல் கைகூட யோகம் வேண்டும்!

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Ravi,

You really missed the bus! You should have talked to her first, then to your mother and convinced. But I think the 'funda' of

horoscope matching might have come in the way, since you are not destined to marry her! காதல் கைகூட யோகம் வேண்டும்!

Shmt.Raji Ram,

Yes, I missed a very special bus!!

I could have very well convinced my mother and would have got my way perfectly going fine. As long as the girl is Brahmin there would be no objection from my mother.

It is just that she got some ideas/opinions according to which, she lectures us that proposing a girl directly is not a descent and responsible act. when she grew up, her father and all the brothers were damn strict with the girls of the home and had expressed a very bad idea about the guys in the society who were found to be drooling behind the girls, loving and proposing them.

YES! Horoscope matching might have come in the way BUT whatever it may be, I would have not let any such thing hang myself back and would have gone ahead with whatever I should do to have the girl in my life who I loved.

Emotionally I am week and can not give up on anyone to whom I am emotionally attached. And, I can not afford to lose my love and undergo emotional suffering...

 

[P.J.]

Shmt.Raji Ram,

Yes, I missed a very special bus!!

I could have very well convinced my mother and would have got my way perfectly going fine. As long as the girl is Brahmin there would be no objection from my mother.

It is just that she got some ideas/opinions according to which, she lectures us that proposing a girl directly is not a descent and responsible act. when she grew up, her father and all the brothers were damn strict with the girls of the home and had expressed a very bad idea about the guys in the society who were found to be drooling behind the girls, loving and proposing them.

YES! Horoscope matching might have come in the way BUT whatever it may be, I would have not let any such thing hang myself back and would have gone ahead with whatever I should do to have the girl in my life who I loved.

Emotionally I am week and can not give up on anyone to whom I am emotionally attached. And, I can not afford to lose my love and undergo emotional suffering...

RAVI SIR

Just a curiosity; did you tell your missed love to your wife any time after your marriage? i think NOT as you did not have the courage to face your mother, definitely you would not have the courage to tell the entire story without hiding any portion to your wife!!

 

[P.J.]

Dear Ravi,

You really missed the bus! You should have talked to her first, then to your mother and convinced. But I think the 'funda' of

horoscope matching might have come in the way, since you are not destined to marry her! காதல் கைகூட யோகம் வேண்டும்!

Raji Madam

For காதல் கைகூட i think MaTCHAM VENUM!!
That is why friends tell when one gets involved in Love : matchan.. matcham da unakku"

 

[Raji Ram]

RAVI SIR

Just a curiosity; did you tell your missed love to your wife any time after your marriage? i think NOT as you did not have the courage to face your mother, definitely you would not have the courage to tell the entire story without hiding any portion to your wife!!

Our dear Ravi is still in the searching mode!! :fish2:

 

[Amirtha]

I really like to post this message in one of the general discussion threads. But the discussions there seem very serious. So I am posting here.

Even in those days boys had to go to great lengths to marry the girl of their liking. NS Krishnan and TA Madhuram.

[video=youtube;HrYDS9w61AU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrYDS9w61AU[/video]

Enjoy

 

[C RAVI]

RAVI SIR

Just a curiosity; did you tell your missed love to your wife any time after your marriage? i think NOT as you did not have the courage to face your mother, definitely you would not have the courage to tell the entire story without hiding any portion to your wife!!

Shri PJ,

If you go through my post no. 34 & 38, you would know why I didn't propose the girl.

I would certainly tell this to my future wife, if at all by that time I could have these thoughts green in my memory and or if she ask me on these lines.

 

[C RAVI]

Raji Madam

For காதல் கைகூட i think MaTCHAM VENUM!!
That is why friends tell when one gets involved in Love : matchan.. matcham da unakku"

Hahahahaha..Yeah, people say "MachCha Kaaran".

Is there any specific place in the body in which only the presence of Mole is considered lucky OR just lots of moles here and there in the body would mean Luck?

Because, I got probably 100s of MachCham through out my body from forehead to toe!! There is no single place where there is not even one mole.

 

[P.J.]

Hahahahaha..Yeah, people say "MachCha Kaaran".

Is there any specific place in the body in which only the presence of Mole is considered lucky OR just lots of moles here and there in the body would mean Luck?

Because, I got probably 100s of MachCham through out my body from forehead to toe!! There is no single place where there is not even one mole.

RAVI SIR

IT is Like Deva Rahashiyam, Women should not know about it, but all men knew about it !!!

 

[C RAVI]

RAVI SIR

IT is Like Deva Rahashiyam, Women should not know about it, but all men knew about it !!!

Got it!!!

 

[renuka]

Dear Ravi,

You should have told your mother and father that you liked that girl in your office and made your parents go and ask for her hand in marriage.

 

[renuka]

After reading all Lovvu stories of TB forum guys..I am very very disappointed that most or almost all did not try hard enough!

The stories here remind me of actor Murali's movies where he will love a girl deep down in his heart and suppress his feelings out of respect for the girl or out of fear of rejection or becos of family commitments etc.

I expected better from TB guys yaar...after all Kadhal Mannan Gemini Ganesan is a TB,
Kadhal Ilavarasan Kamal Hassan is a TB too!

When you guys have Kadhal Kula Deivams like Gemini Ganesan and Kamal Hassan how come none of you guys worked hard enough to secure your lady love??

Why?? Why?? Why??

 

[renuka]

kunjuppu,
my parents had to accept and that too in a grand manner they said that was u fate we could do nothing about we showed u three guys but u were ok with this one, i thought the lined up profile and even after i told them he was a womaniser they could only say he promised us in front of aiyappa picture that he is never that i thought ok my fate lined up from pot to fire let me move on, yes i had a tough time tough time indeed today at 60 i think and look back and am happy i am 60 and this life is over and thankfully my children are good to me both girls take care and i can relax now but those days was tiring i should say....
i did all things i never dreamt about like they show in the films with a sewing machine kind i had to knit sew, cook, sing do anything to keep the burner at home and then the children once they grew up that is by 16 itself they had to study and work and keep it going now one is married she has three deg and waiting for the second one to settle....thanku for those soothing word sorry to hear me out...

Dear Sunkan ji,

You are a strong woman..you have been through hardship in your marriage.

take care

Renu

 

[Raji Ram]

......... I would certainly tell this to my future wife, if at all by that time I could have these thoughts green in my memory and or if she ask me on these lines.

Dear Ravi,

Don't be a 'chOmAchchu' and tell everything to your future wife. Women are very very possessive and your future wife

will nag you for ever! Take my advice and be smart! OK?

P.S: Don't even tell her that you are posting in this site regularly! :typing: