Kadalikka Neramillai Kadalippar Yarumillai

[Raji Ram]

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Dear Renu,

Those who got their 'lady love' as partner might not write here
because they now :fear: the same 'lady love'!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

Those who got their 'lady love' as partner might not write here
because they now :fear: the same 'lady love'!

Ha Ha Ha!

 

[renuka]

Dear Ravi,

Don't be a 'chOmAchchu' and tell everything to your future wife. Women are very very possessive and your future wife

will nag you for ever! Take my advice and be smart! OK?

P.S: Don't even tell her that you are posting in this site regularly! :typing:

Dear RR ji,

My elder brother used to advise "never marry a man/woman who has never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before cos these are the types that will experiment after marriage"

I feel he is right cos have seen my friends those who never had even one girl friend before marriage become womanizers when they hit 40's but those who have had girlfriends before somehow settle down happily and never cheat their wives.

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Ravi,

You should have told your mother and father that you liked that girl in your office and made your parents go and ask for her hand in marriage.

renu,

i think the word 'should' is a very difficult to both hear and comprehend and accept.

i cannot speak for ravi, but in my case, i would never have approached my mother with any candidate, even though many a times i wished i had such a passion. even without uttering a word, just by her presence, she could overcome me.

i do not know, how it turned this way. we were poor section of a rather rich and influential extended family. so there was always pressure to 'show up'. i had to excel (meaning #1 in class, not #2 or less) in my class, no sports was encouraged. any slippage, and all hell was to pay at home - sample hysteria - we have nothing but our studies, and if you fail(!) we all have to starve.

retrospect, i did the only avenue made available to me. by luck i got into a university where i had to stay in the hostel. the very first day, after my parents left me in the room, by instinct, i shut the windows (it was a practice in our house to keep the bottom windows closed), i realized that i did not have to do so. freedom. and i savoured it for 5 years.

and then i prayed like never, to get some admission, scholarship and leave india.

even when my mom came to stay with us, i had issues with her presence, even though she had mellowed. old memories dont fade as one expects. they are like the tree resin, which gets fossilized into the hard amber. and nothing erases this concept.

i fully empathize with ravi for his non action. been there. and not done it meself

ps...

my sis born 7 years later, used to have her way in our home. simply by threatening to scream . she had a love marriage. and here it was mom who was scared of her maanam. i think we tambrams eunuchize our first born sons. i am glad to have given all that up and ensured that it ended with me. my sons have a romantic life, in a way i enjoy watching, and wished i had but 1% of it !!

 

[P.J.]

After reading all Lovvu stories of TB forum guys..I am very very disappointed that most or almost all did not try hard enough!

The stories here remind me of actor Murali's movies where he will love a girl deep down in his heart and suppress his feelings out of respect for the girl or out of fear of rejection or becos of family commitments etc.

I expected better from TB guys yaar...after all Kadhal Mannan Gemini Ganesan is a TB,
Kadhal Ilavarasan Kamal Hassan is a TB too!

When you guys have Kadhal Kula Deivams like Gemini Ganesan and Kamal Hassan how come none of you guys worked hard enough to secure your lady love??

Why?? Why?? Why??

Renukaji

All TB guys,( most of them) are past 60!! yes we all followed Gemeni like in the movie
in the beginning like this

வாடிக்கை மறந்ததும் ஏனோ? - Vaadikkai Maranthathum Eanoa - YouTube

but later on we had to sing like this
( later part of the song)
Kaadhalile Tholviyuttraal (Kalyaana Parisu) - YouTube

 

[C RAVI]

Shri Kunjuppu,


You are very right. Ours was the same scenario at home as yours.

The one thing I have to tell clearly is that, I got myself changed to mind set of that of my mother's resultant to her lectures, advices, list of code of conduct, list of dos and don'ts etc..etc and held my self back. It was not out of fear of MOM but out of having got into her mindset on this matter of LOVVUU that it is not the way of getting a girl for my life. Though my mother is a tough lady in terms of disciplines, rules and regulations, code of conduct, certain acceptable ways of doing things etc..etc, she is truly a very good friend to all of us. And if I would have had told her about my love, she would have accepted, though she would be skeptical of my choice regarding the girl and her family and that could have well sorted out in a proper channel. My dad having served for Indian Airforce from his young age, though he was strict in terms of day to day discipline was a cool guy, a friendly guy and not critical and skeptical of things straight away.

The moment I got the strong liking for her, seeing her reactions and responses too, the first that came to my thought was, I may be doing wrong for her parents who certainly have their own choices and plans for their only daughter. At any cost I should not interfere with their plans and desires.

Later I could realize, how wrong I was to be too diplomatic and be a loser.

 

[kunjuppu]

..

Later I could realize, how wrong I was to be too diplomatic and be a loser.

so sorry to hear this ravi.

except times have changed. i married in 1980 when mom could still pick candidates. even then she had only one, inspite of the 100s of responses in the hindu. whom i married.

nowadays, i would have remained unmarried, with probably mom frothing off her anger at the thimiru pidichha girls of today. like we find here in this forum, from angry parents.

in any language, the saddest words are, 'what could have been'.

take care...

 

[renuka]

Renukaji

All TB guys,( most of them) are past 60!! yes we all followed Gemeni like in the movie
in the beginning like this

வாடிகà¯￾கை மறநà¯￾ததà¯￾à®®à¯￾ à®￾னோ? - Vaadikkai Maranthathum Eanoa - YouTube

but later on we had to sing like this
( later part of the song)
Kaadhalile Tholviyuttraal (Kalyaana Parisu) - YouTube

I feel sad yaar..reading all stories here..

anyway for the New Generation or any 60 plus who wants to become young again...this song is dedicated to all TB forum guys!

[video=youtube_share;En6hkViaDS4]http://youtu.be/En6hkViaDS4[/video]

 

[renuka]

in any language, the saddest words are, 'what could have been'.

Dear Kunjs,

I feel men find it a bit hard to forget the past compared to women.

But I had seen some girls make major decisions when it came to love..when I was in school my good friend a Chinese girl..beautiful and very intelligent.

She wanted to be a lawyer and her father was planning to send her to UK for studies.

Then she fell in love with a fellow classmate from a poor home who was not at all good in studies and he was not a nice person too.

Before exams I still remember he stole all books of us top students and burnt it so that we wont have books to study and will do badly.

He burnt my books too cos he was not happy to see his girlfriend being friends with a good student and that might make her want to further study too.

He told her that he did not want her to become a lawyer cos he knew he will never make it into university.

And she actually did not further he studies and married him.

They have 3 kids now and she is doing some small job.

I was surprised with her decision cos she was only 18 then and she was such a bright student and was willing to give up everything for a guy who did not have even have good qualities to start with.

I dont know but I would have never done that for any guy....it is not worth it taking major risk for anyone I feel.

In life I feel we need to have a priority for each phase of life.

School days..just study..don't think of love.

College days..just study too..we can hook up with someone if we wish but dont make major decisions yet..
If one relationship does not work out..try a next one.

Once we get a job then we can think of marriage seriously..if we are still with that same person from college we can marry that person..if not take your time and chose another or consider an arranged marriage.

It is actually hard to know what the future will be in any relationship.
Even the best of horoscope matched marriages loses it fizz after a while.

So best is to lead a life with no regrets.
Frankly speaking I do not believe that True Love exists..everything is just experiences and we call it names.


There is a Sanskrit saying that goes:

||भवितव्यानां द्वाराणि भवन्ति सर्वत्र||

Destiny takes its own course everywhere.

 

[Raji Ram]

......... I was surprised with her decision cos she was only 18 then and she was such a bright student and was willing to give up everything for a guy who did not have even have good qualities to start with............

'Mad' love not only makes a person blind but also make the person a fool!! :loco:

 

[Raji Ram]

Most of the teenage loves are foolish!

I know a tambram girl form very good family, who eloped with rickshaw puller! :dizzy:

No one knows her whereabouts after that!

 

[renuka]

I am sure we would have seen a child holding a toy and when we give him a new toy..he leaves the old toy and takes the new toy.

Ok next is a CCTV hard drive..most CCTV hard drives over ride the old stored visual images after 1 month.

Now the reason I mentioned about a child and a CCTV hard drive is....many of males here are married for a long long time....some of you would have loved someone before marriage but eventually married someone else.

Now the old toy has been "discarded" when they new toy was given to you guys during marriage.

After so many years you mean to say the hard drive stored data was still not over ridden?

Doesn't the present delete the past stored data?

Agreed that initially it is stored in recycle bin for a while and as time goes on..it is deleted for good cos present has taken over.

Didn't the present marriage makes us happy enough to look back at our past and laugh it off as 'Oh those were my young days" and not still hold a candle for some old unexplored love like some Cheran movie Pokkisham?

I was just wondering would any husband be able to accept the fact if his wife too had harboured feelings for someone once upon a time and still holds a candle for that relationship somewhere in her heart?

Won't a husband feel that he failed to make an impression in his wive's heart?

I am sure most of us had seen the movie Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam where Aishwarya Rai falls in love with Salman Khan but is married off to Ajay Devgan.

She yearns for Salman and Ajay takes the trouble to re unite them and finally Aishwarya realizes that its is Ajay whom she has fallen in love with and comes back to Ajay.

So in the cases of all the Lovvu stories here..didn't anyone of you guys feel your wife's love over rides the memory of anyone else of the past?

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear renu,

I think, myself included, have shared some of our life experiences, particularly relating to our interactions with the other gender, prior to marriage. These things happened, and were stored in our mental databases, and at this time of our lives, atleast, I am able to dispassionately look at it, and narrate it to an audience.

There is no right or wrong in my narration, I feel. It just happened this way. Every one of us, is a story book, and there are chapters. And this was one such chapter in my life.

I have moved on with marriage, which I would consider a success under any normal parameters. My wife comes from as close a similar family value and background, as ourselves. So adjustments regarding food, attitudes, outlook on life, spending, thrift, entertainment etc were almost identical. In other cases, they were complementary, and we have not had direct conflicting views on any major involvement together.

So your analogy of a toy, I find it, somewhat difficult to comprehend. There was no toy to choose. There was no plaything.

Just life. With its myriads of facets, unfurling itself, and becoming a part of our uniqueness. no shame. no pride. and with the understanding, my spouse, just like myself would have had her share of loves and infatuations pre marriage.

what is good for the gander, is also good for the goose.

Hope this explains.

Thank you.

 

[sangom]

Hahahahaha..Yeah, people say "MachCha Kaaran".

Is there any specific place in the body in which only the presence of Mole is considered lucky OR just lots of moles here and there in the body would mean Luck?

Because, I got probably 100s of MachCham through out my body from forehead to toe!! There is no single place where there is not even one mole.

Dear Shri Ravi,

Of late, i.e., after the age of 68 I developed lot of moles in my body and my doctor then told me it could be due to liver malfunction and should not be left just like that. Tests like scan showed symptoms of fatty liver and my doctor told me to reduce fried items, ghee and other fatty items of food, prescribed long walks daily. I am unable to go for regular long walks due to other health problems; so I have cut down AFAP on fatty foods.

If you drink even occasionally, try to stop that also.

Just a suggestion please.

 

[sangom]

After reading all Lovvu stories of TB forum guys..I am very very disappointed that most or almost all did not try hard enough!

The stories here remind me of actor Murali's movies where he will love a girl deep down in his heart and suppress his feelings out of respect for the girl or out of fear of rejection or becos of family commitments etc.

I expected better from TB guys yaar...after all Kadhal Mannan Gemini Ganesan is a TB,
Kadhal Ilavarasan Kamal Hassan is a TB too!

When you guys have Kadhal Kula Deivams like Gemini Ganesan and Kamal Hassan how come none of you guys worked hard enough to secure your lady love??

Why?? Why?? Why??

Madam,

May be it was because their inner voice told them that ultimately marriage is like "Dilli ka Laddoo" (jO khAyA voh pachtAyA, jO nahin khAyA voh bhi pachtAyA!)

 

[P.J.]

Renukaji

Your observation is not fit for our time Love.

"I am sure we would have seen a child holding a toy and when we give him a new toy..he leaves the old toy and takes the new toy"

we did not easily get even the first toy!! There was no chance for the second toy.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Sangom Sir,

One of my uncles developed moles on his bald head!

No tests were done because he is 90 years old now!

 

[P.J.]

Most of the teenage loves are foolish!

I know a tambram girl form very good family, who eloped with rickshaw puller! :dizzy:

No one knows her whereabouts after that!

Raji madam

i came to know about a Brahmin girl running away ( or probably walked away ) with Milk man's son.

In those days , we used to have Milk , milked from cow in front of our homes!! so it seems the boy used to come for that and developed intimacy with the girl, and one day she told her parents that she would marry him only!!!

Probably like this it has happened!!

Shenbagame shenbagame - YouTube

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Shri Ravi,

Of late, i.e., after the age of 68 I developed lot of moles in my body and my doctor then told me it could be due to liver malfunction and should not be left just like that. Tests like scan showed symptoms of fatty liver and my doctor told me to reduce fried items, ghee and other fatty items of food, prescribed long walks daily. I am unable to go for regular long walks due to other health problems; so I have cut down AFAP on fatty foods.

If you drink even occasionally, try to stop that also.

Just a suggestion please.

Shri Sangom,

You are right! I have read about it online some time ago.

I got lots of moles right from my childhood days. As well, I undergo master check up every year I visit Chennai, India on my yearly vacation. Only during my last check-up in 2012, it was identified that I have mild fatty lever and was prescribed with some tablet for 3 months.

Here, I don't eat oily stuffs. The reason for my fatty lever probably was due to consumption of a bottle of 200ml Milk every day without fail, in the morning. So, I stopped that and take a glass of hot milk in the hotel as and when time permits, before leaving for office.

 

[sangom]

Dear Sangom Sir,

One of my uncles developed moles on his bald head!

No tests were done because he is 90 years old now!

Smt. Raji Ram,

Your post, I hope, does not intend to poke fun on what I wrote out of certain concern for the health of a young man like Ravi. For a 90 year old person of course the considerations of even the treating doctor will be different, let alone ordinary persons like myself.

 

[P.J.]

Shri Sangom,

You are right! I have read about it online some time ago.

I got lots of moles right from my childhood days. As well, I undergo master check up every year I visit Chennai, India on my yearly vacation. Only during my last check-up in 2012, it was identified that I have mild fatty lever and was prescribed with some tablet for 3 months.

Here, I don't eat oily stuffs. The reason for my fatty lever probably was due to consumption of a bottle of 200ml Milk every day without fail, in the morning. So, I stopped that and take a glass of hot milk in the hotel as and when time permits, before leaving for office.

Dear RAVI Sir

Apart from our jovial posts, please take care of your health.
When you go next time to Chennai, Apollo Hospital, please consult Dr.Murlidhar Raja Gopalan
Apollo Hospitals::
He is THE BEST on Skin related issues.
You need prior Appointment for consultation.
Apollo Greams Road Chennai No. 21, Greams Lane,Off. Greams Road Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India Zip - 600006 Phone - 044 28290200

He is also consulting outside in his Clinic
Dr. Muralidhar Rajagopalan, Adyar, Chennai | Dr. Muralidhar Rajagopalan, Doctor in Chennai - Reviews - asklaila

You can fix an appointment for his consultation there also.

Please take care of your health, as i am not in Chennai, moving to US, in February, (now in UK) not able to help you personally.
Sorry for that.
Keep me posted info after you meet him please.

 

[Raghy]

Most of the teenage loves are foolish!

....

I know of well settled couples where the girl was a teen ager. I can think of minimum 4 such cases. That is from Tamil Brahmins. Amoung the NBs I can think of at least half a dozen.

 

[renuka]

The most common cause for Fatty Liver is being overweight,obesity or even normal weight individuals with fat distribution around the abdomen.

Most doctors will recommend LIV 52 for Fatty Liver or Essentiale Forte tablets.

Taking tablets alone won't help..cos we will never make attempts to lose weight when we know there is always a tablet to take.

For my patients with Fatty Liver I put them on a strict exercise regimen...those who drink alcohol need to cut it down and the best is to lose 10kgs and you will see the Fatty Liver disappear.

Fatty liver is getting common in males cos of long working hours sitting down at desk and also not able to get time to exercise.

BTW consumption of milk does not really cause Fatty Liver..lack of activity and excess body weight is the culprit.

 

[renuka]

Renukaji

Your observation is not fit for our time Love.

"I am sure we would have seen a child holding a toy and when we give him a new toy..he leaves the old toy and takes the new toy"

we did not easily get even the first toy!! There was no chance for the second toy.

Dear Sir,

When I used to word Toy..I meant a memory..The toy analogy here means having a Memory of someone.
So when a person gets married he gives up the previous memory and takes a new experience.

BTW an Atma itself gives up the old body and takes up a new body..storing all previous birth data in the Chitta portion of Antahkarana which is just inactive Archives..so when God Himself designed our mind and body to forget each birth and start fresh with each birth..what is so hard to let go of the past?

 

[Raji Ram]

....... When I used to word Toy..I meant a memory..The toy analogy here means having a Memory of someone.
So when a person gets married he gives up the previous memory and takes a new experience..........

The toy is 'pokkisham' Renu!

Here is the proof: Autograph - Nyabagam varudhe