My Experiences in a Retirement Community

[sarang]

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Having the car is a luxury in Coimbatore

Understatement. Coimbatore was always ahead of other cities in india; cell phone penetration, foreign bank branches, sale of luxury cars, modern petrol pumps, 24 hour xerox - all these and many more facilities were available in the nineties. Mnay businessmen were having two mobles each when the call rates were rs 30 and 24 (for incoming calls). Last year audi sold max cars in coimbatore. I can make a big list.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

There are 15 residents in our community who have cars. Many drive their own car. But even driver assistance is available. I am taking Driver assistance for my car. So it is a Chauffeur driven car.

 

[vgane]

Understatement. Coimbatore was always ahead of other cities in india; cell phone penetration, foreign bank branches, sale of luxury cars, modern petrol pumps, 24 hour xerox - all these and many more facilities were available in the nineties. Mnay businessmen were having two mobles each when the call rates were rs 30 and 24 (for incoming calls). Last year audi sold max cars in coimbatore. I can make a big list.

Car penetration is overall very low in India...Coimbatore is a Tier 2 city...Businessmen may be buying luxury cars..Not the middle class...I found cars parked in many societies in Kovai..Very few use these cars...Either driver is not there or owner does not drive because of age/health issues (I happened to check the car penetration data ..It is 35 per 1000 in Coimbatore, it is in the top 10; Chandigarh leads with 82 followed by Delhi at 54)

 

[vgane]

Understatement. Coimbatore was always ahead of other cities in india; cell phone penetration, foreign bank branches, sale of luxury cars, modern petrol pumps, 24 hour xerox - all these and many more facilities were available in the nineties. Mnay businessmen were having two mobles each when the call rates were rs 30 and 24 (for incoming calls). Last year audi sold max cars in coimbatore. I can make a big list.

Car penetration is overall very low in India...Coimbatore is a Tier 2 city...Businessmen may be buying luxury cars..Not the middle class...I found cars parked in many societies in Kovai..Very few use these cars...Either driver is not there or owner does not drive because of age/health issues (I happened to check the car penetration data ..It is 35 per 1000 in Coimbatore, it is in the top 10; Chandigarh leads with 82 followed by Delhi at 54)

 

[P Sundararaman]

Hello Nacchi Sir,

I am also interested to know your experience in Retirement Community.

P.Sundararaman

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I traveled to Coimbatore by car a distance of about 40 Kms. Left at 2.00 P.M and returned at 9.00 P.M. Paid the Driver Rs.600. I travel to Coimbatore once in a month at least and other travels cost me Rs. 1500 peer month. A very small price for having a Chauffeur driven car.

In fact I bought A Toyota Corolla Sedan just before shifting to the retirement Community since I felt that having a car is essential to living comfortably in the place.

 

[kunjuppu]

dear nacchi,

if you dont mind sir, i do look forward to your experiences, same as i look forward to my morning coffee

i can give you suggestions about what i seek. how about keeping a diary here by the day, things that you can share with us. also interesting peoples, no names needed, but you can call them a b or c, and be consistent (note down in a place somewhere who a b c is).

these maybe people with whom you react daily. also a day menu of food, and how the hours are spent. how does mrs nacchi feel and some of her feedback too.

thank you sir.

 

[tbs]

hi

im curious abt playing cards in the community.....

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I would say that it is only by divine providence that I shifted to this community. On 23 rd April, 2014, I suffered a massive heart attack. I was with my son in Bangalore. My heart stopped beating. 100 % blockage. I was taken to the hospital by good neighbors. I was lucky that I was able to reach the hospital within 30 minutes. So I was clinically dead for only about 30 minutes. They revived me and then did an Angioplasty and put a stent in my heart. In fact I do not remember anything which happened. I do not remember what happened even earlier.


Unfortunately it was discovered that I was suffering from Diabetes Type II. I have been put on Insulin and then Diet Control. Diet Control is the only way to control diabetes.


If you know about Diet Control in diabetes you would find it very difficult to follow. If we had stayed at home we would have found it difficult to follow. But staying in a retirement community your food requirements are done in the common kitchen. So it is easier to follow a Diabetic diet. In fact there are a number of Diabetic patients here. Though all of them do not follow the diet rules, the community does give special attention to this. I get special diet prepared. Of course I am charged an additional amount.

The place with no pollution, noise makes it ideal for rest and recuperation.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

The Retirement Communities are very good for rest and recuperation. The Diet can be controlled because of the common cooking facilities. Open places for taking long walks. There may be other residents suffering or recuperating from some illness or other. We have had a couple of people recuperating from Knee Replacement surgery.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

This thread seems to be nearing its end. I did not write about my illness in the beginning since I knew that would not evoke interest. The Retirement Communities as Assisted Living places are yet to pickup.

We have some interesting people in the community. There is an Anglo Indian who has retired as a Driver from The Indian railways. His children are in Australia. He is able to move around only in wheel chair. He is suffering from various illness. He is looked after by a person who is appointed by the community.

We have one gentleman whose sole interest is food. He is all the time talking about food. He would like the food to be more modern. He is Single. has no family or children.

Then we have another Single man staying with his friend. He suffers from diabetes and has lost his vision almost fully due to Diabetes. He was in one of the homes in Chennai earlier. He is alone with no children. He has moved into a home on the death of his wife. But the most impressive thing is that he is with his friend who is staying here because of him.

Then we have a gentleman who is a Green-card holder. His children are in the U.S. But they refuse to support him financially. He is a diabetic whose one leg is affected badly. He can not move about. He has an attendant with him. He would be better off in a Community with good Assisted Living. But his children refuse to finance him and he is stuck here.

We have Single men/women whose children are in U.S, U.K, Australia. They do visit the children. But I have not seen their children so far.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Nachi Sir,

Good to know that assistants are allowed in your senior resort.

Before closing this thread, please answer one question. How did you feel when you had your heart attack?

I am curious because, when I was given anesthesia during delivery, I felt like going into a deep, long and

dark tunnel, as if someone was pushing me to go through it and my head seemed to oscillate slightly!

 

[kunjuppu]

thank you nacchi for this thread and all the posts that it invoked.

may you and your wife have a long peaceful and contended stay in your new abode.

thanks again.

 

[sudeshwer]

well, it looks good. we have two children: one in USA with whom we stay and another, in Australia. they may not allow us to stay in Retd Home, it looks as it is now. nobody knows about tomorrow. I am 79 and half and, my wife, almost 71. we wish to carry on like this and go as it is. but who knows what is going to happen. we only want healthy life and not money. that is why I keep myself busy, employed for 2/3 hrs a day, doing good amount of exercises and conduct a laughter club. y know, laughter is the best medicine for good health. I do drive even in USA on fast roads; ofcourse carefully. we do have some health problems but as it is managable - srinivasan

 

[prasad1]

well, it looks good. we have two children: one in USA with whom we stay and another, in Australia. they may not allow us to stay in Retd Home, it looks as it is now. nobody knows about tomorrow. I am 79 and half and, my wife, almost 71. we wish to carry on like this and go as it is. but who knows what is going to happen. we only want healthy life and not money. that is why I keep myself busy, employed for 2/3 hrs a day, doing good amount of exercises and conduct a laughter club. y know, laughter is the best medicine for good health. I do drive even in USA on fast roads; ofcourse carefully. we do have some health problems but as it is managable - srinivasan

Good for you sir, congratulations. Wish you happy times.

 

[tbs]

hi

thanks nachi sir....we all born alone.....we got mom/dad/sibilings ....after sometime ....we got friends....we got wife /kids....we have

to move on....there is an ending for every thread and life also.....life is unpredictable....keep good health and do good to

others as much as possible.....like william shakesphear word....WORDLD IS THEATER .....WE ARE ALL ACTORS IN IT...

so we try to do our roles as much as possible....

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

There is a resident whose children are in U.S. She is alone. She firmly believes that those who come to these Retirement Communities have problems getting on with their children. There are many members of this forum who also share this belief. This is a hangover from the good old days when people believed that the only way of spending the old age is with the children. We have discussed this attitude before in this forum. Once in a while such members post a message emphasizing this. Like saying "Look how lucky I am?" But we read one too many stories about how cruel children can be to older parents.

I could start a thread and post all the articles about the inhuman treatment meted out to parents by children. But that would serve no purpose since all of us know the real facts.

 

[balak223]

very interested to hear from you as I am going to retire next month.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Dear Nachi Sir,

Good to know that assistants are allowed in your senior resort.

Before closing this thread, please answer one question. How did you feel when you had your heart attack?

I am curious because, when I was given anesthesia during delivery, I felt like going into a deep, long and

dark tunnel, as if someone was pushing me to go through it and my head seemed to oscillate slightly!

Unfortunately I do not remember anything about my operation or what happened during the days prior to that and after that.

 

[Raji Ram]

Unfortunately I do not remember anything about my operation or what happened during the days prior to that and after that.

​Thank you Sir.

 

[tbs]

There is a resident whose children are in U.S. She is alone. She firmly believes that those who come to these Retirement Communities have problems getting on with their children. There are many members of this forum who also share this belief. This is a hangover from the good old days when people believed that the only way of spending the old age is with the children. We have discussed this attitude before in this forum. Once in a while such members post a message emphasizing this. Like saying "Look how lucky I am?" But we read one too many stories about how cruel children can be to older parents.

I could start a thread and post all the articles about the inhuman treatment meted out to parents by children. But that would serve no purpose since all of us know the real facts.

hi

i feel both sides....some are lucky with children till the end of life....some are left alone in the old age.....

some reasons....

1 financial problems...

2 adjustment problem with DIL and other family members...

3 medical facilities...

4 single child in abroad......

5 freedom in the old age....

just info...now a mother in the retirement home chennai alone...ONLY SON IN USA....SHE DOES NOT LIKE USA...SHE CANT STAY

ALONE IN HER OWN HOME IN CHENNAI...SHE NEEDS SUPPORT FOR HER DAILY NEEDS...SHE NEEDS FREEDOM TOO.....SHE

DOES NOT LIKE ADVICES/OPINIONS FROM FAMILY MEMBERS.....SO OLD AGE HOME/RETIREMENT HOME IS ONLY OPTION....

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I disagree with the above post. There is nothing lucky about being with the children till one dies. In fact one is lucky to be independent till he dies. Independence means not being dependent on the children. I had written about this earlier. Living with Dignity in Old Age. Not being dependent on others. Emotionally or Financially.

Unfortunately one thing I noticed after being in a Retirement community is being slaves to food habits. There is a Brahmin family staying near our community. They supply food to some of the residents. In fact there is on resident who gets his entire food supply from them.

 

[kunjuppu]

I disagree with the above post. There is nothing lucky about being with the children till one dies. In fact one is lucky to be independent till he dies. Independence means not being dependent on the children. I had written about this earlier. Living with Dignity in Old Age. Not being dependent on others. Emotionally or Financially.

Unfortunately one thing I noticed after being in a Retirement community is being slaves to food habits. There is a Brahmin family staying near our community. They supply food to some of the residents. In fact there is on resident who gets his entire food supply from them.

well said nacchi. i agree with you 100%.

i am in my mid 60s. self and missus are planning our retirement. have told the kids, including the eldest one who is planning to have an 'in law' apartment in his house, that we will not stay with any of them. maybe if it works out, live close by, but would prefer our own and when unable to take care of ourselves, ensure to be admitted to a home, with professional care. we are careful to set aside money for that.

even with your kids, one has to adjust, as it is only fair, that it is THEIR house and we have understood ourselves to be thoroughly independent of thought and habits.

with modern communication tools, it is not an issue to be in touch with your loved ones on a daily basis. that is probably the only imposition we can do to them ie daily chat on skype, iphone or such. apart from that, i do not see myself, nor does the missus, of anything dependent on the children. we have also told them, on emergencies, we will come and help out with the babies, but not full time. as we have a life to live too, and we have done our share of nappy changing and baby bathing

 

[krish44]

well said nacchi. i agree with you 100%.

i am in my mid 60s. self and missus are planning our retirement. have told the kids, including the eldest one who is planning to have an 'in law' apartment in his house, that we will not stay with any of them. maybe if it works out, live close by, but would prefer our own and when unable to take care of ourselves, ensure to be admitted to a home, with professional care. we are careful to set aside money for that.

even with your kids, one has to adjust, as it is only fair, that it is THEIR house and we have understood ourselves to be thoroughly independent of thought and habits.

with modern communication tools, it is not an issue to be in touch with your loved ones on a daily basis. that is probably the only imposition we can do to them ie daily chat on skype, iphone or such. apart from that, i do not see myself, nor does the missus, of anything dependent on the children. we have also told them, on emergencies, we will come and help out with the babies, but not full time. as we have a life to live too, and we have done our share of nappy changing and baby bathing

kunjuppuji

nothing wrong with your living model after retirement of parents or in laws living close to children. living under the same roof has its own issues which married

children or parents may not relish though it has its plus points. one negative aspect is what happens if one of the parents unfortunately passes away . then in that case

the other parent is left alone helpless. bonding later on and integrating with childrens family after years of childrens marriage becomes more difficult. in many cases

women outlive men as there is an age

difference between senior married men and women which increases the chances of man dying earlier.

of course the ultimate comfort level between generations , varies from family to family and there are no ready made solutions.

all of us aspire for independant living as long as possible . how much we are able to realise it is a matter which we can only time can tell

 

[kunjuppu]

kunjuppuji

nothing wrong with your living model after retirement of parents or in laws living close to children. living under the same roof has its own issues which married

children or parents may not relish though it has its plus points. one negative aspect is what happens if one of the parents unfortunately passes away . then in that case

the other parent is left alone helpless. bonding later on and integrating with childrens family after years of childrens marriage becomes more difficult. in many cases

women outlive men as there is an age

difference between senior married men and women which increases the chances of man dying earlier.

of course the ultimate comfort level between generations , varies from family to family and there are no ready made solutions.

all of us aspire for independant living as long as possible . how much we are able to realise it is a matter which we can only time can tell

very right sir. we make plans. but the MAN UPSTAIRS has other plans. most often.