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My jokes in Tamil and English
- Thread starter rgurus
- Start date
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rgurus
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A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..." The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
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rgurus
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அம்மாள்: : எங்க பெண்ணுக்கு வரன் பார்க்கணும்.
புரோக்கர்: அப்படியா? அமெரிக்காவிலேயே பிறந்து வளர்ந்த பையன். அவனுடைய அப்பா அம்மா எல்லாம் நம்ம ஊரிலே இருந்து போனவங்க தான்.
அம்மாள்: : ஓ! அந்தப் பையனையே முடிச்சிடலாம்.
புரோக்கர்: அந்தப் பையனோட தங்கை ஒண்ணு இருக்கு, அங்கேயே பிறந்து வளர்ந்தது. அதை உங்க பையனுக்கு.....
அம்மாள்: ஊஹூம். அது வேணாம். அது நமக்கு சரிப்பட்டு வராது.
புரோக்கர்: அப்படியா? அமெரிக்காவிலேயே பிறந்து வளர்ந்த பையன். அவனுடைய அப்பா அம்மா எல்லாம் நம்ம ஊரிலே இருந்து போனவங்க தான்.
அம்மாள்: : ஓ! அந்தப் பையனையே முடிச்சிடலாம்.
புரோக்கர்: அந்தப் பையனோட தங்கை ஒண்ணு இருக்கு, அங்கேயே பிறந்து வளர்ந்தது. அதை உங்க பையனுக்கு.....
அம்மாள்: ஊஹூம். அது வேணாம். அது நமக்கு சரிப்பட்டு வராது.
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rgurus
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An anecdote
Sanskrit class
My second language was Sanskrit in my high school as well as in intermediate. 'Mudhra Rakshasa Nataka Katha' was our prose and 'Kumarasambava' of Kalidasa was our poetry prescribed for the course. Usually in all schools and colleges, Sanskrit teachers are the 'taken for granted tribes' ignored by the faculty and pooh poohed by the student community. Our Sanskrit teacher at the college was a lean figure with a tuft that would immediately create a revulsion among the students even in those days. He was handling Kumarasambhava for us. As per our syllabus we had the first three cantos i.e., "up to the birth of Kumara" for our course.
" Kumarasambhava" essentially talks about the courtship of Lord Shiva and Parvati. Devas are as usual worried about the atrocities perpetrated by the demon Taraka who had a boon that nobody could kill him except the son born of Siva and Parvathi. Devas are directed to strive for the union of Lord Siva and Parvati to decimate Taraka. Parvathi gets separated from Lord Siva in her previous birth as Dakshayani, the story of which most of you will be familiar with. In her next birth as Parvathi, meaning the daughter of parvatha that is mountain ( Himavan, i.e., Himalaya) is bent upon marrying Lord Siva, but Lord Siva has taken recourse to Sanyasa renouncing all worldly pleasures probably because of his previous unpleasant experience with Daksha. The bulk of chapters have enormous details about the love and romance between Shiva and Parvati . Devas appeal to Parvathi to somehow entice Siva and make him fall in love with her so that their union would result in the birth of Kumara. Parvati assumes the role of a sishyai and helps Siva in his Tapas. Siva goes into deep meditation, and so to help Parvathi, Devas approah Manmatha, the lord of love to excite passion in the mind of lord Siva using his Bana, i.e., arrow of flowers so that he will fall in love with Parvathi. Manmatha aims the Asthra towards Siva , lord Siva gets disturbed, irritated and opens his third eye even as devas shout 'U MA' meaning 'please don't' , but by then Manmatha gets burnt and so the story goes. After much efforts and penance, Parvathi wins the love of Lord Shiva and takes his hand in marriage. After sometime, Shiva and Parvati are blessed with a son whom they named Kumara. He grows up and slays the demon Tarakasura and re establishes peace and glory of Lord Indra and the divine world."
The first three cantos deal mainly with description of Himalayas, Devas appeal to Parvathi, penance of lord Siva, burning of Manmatha by opening the third eye of Siva, restoration of Manmatha visible to only Rathi, courtship between Parvathi and Siva, how Parvathi wins over Siva and takes his hand and the birth of Kumara. In this canto that deals with the romance of Siva and Parvathi, there comes the 'Padhathikesa" description of Parvathi running to over fifteen slokas.
Every sloka of Kalidasa is beautiful beyond words. Our Sanskrit pandit would read out the sloka first, then give word by word meaning, elaborating the overall meaning of the sloka, the grammatical peculiarities involved, vigrahavakyas of important words, the details of the tenses involved, roots of some of the words and the different forms it will assume, the similies and metaphors therein, a complete analysis of words based on Panini Sutra and so on, thus spending about thirty minutes for each sloka. So in each class he would cover at the most two slokas. No student ever cared to interrupt his lectures for asking any doubt or clarification not because they didn't have any doubt, but because of their inherent inertia and disinterest. Everything went on well till we reached the canto describing Parvathi from foot to head. He was trying to go fast to cover these slokas without spending as much time as he used to for the other slokas. Students who never stood up in the class to ask doubts started standing up and asking doubts on certain delicate points pertaining to the description of Parvathi's Angalakshanam. In literature these are all very common, but to tackle it in a class room to young students becomes very embarassing to anybody. Those who have read this part of Kumarasambhava will understand the delicacy involved in dealing with it and in teaching it to the youngsters, all being males (fortunately there were no girl students, since the college was a men's college). Every one started asking as many doubts as possible just for the fun of it and to put the teacher in an embarrassment. Pandit said that thes were not very important and that the students could read this part themselves and tried to skip it. There was huge protest from all corners of the hall with thumping of desks and floor saying that the teacher should explain them in detail as he had done so far. He paid no heed to these requests(!) and covered the description part of it in just three classes. I leave it to the imagination of the readers the rest of the thing. But students did not relent and put spokes in his lectures. Somehow he managed these few classes with great difficulty and ultimately proceeded forward. Within a week after this hullabaloo he was dealing with Cupid shooting the arrow on Lord Siva and devas from the sky were shouting at Siva requesting him to please stop and cried U MA. (Please 'Don't), but by then it was late. Manmatha was reduced to ashes. As the Sanskrit pandit was explaining the term UMA, there was a sound from some corner of the lecture room 'Maa, Maa' like the bleating of a goat. The noise started increasing and we saw a goat emanating from one corner of the hall getting trapped on all sides by unwary students not knowing the way out. Immediately there was a chorus from the entire class which grew louder and louder with every one shouting 'Maa, Maa' and the entire hall was reverberating with that sound. Sanskrit pandit was at first flabbergasted not knowing the reason for the chorus , but later when he saw the helpless goat in the corner of the hall getting cornered not knowing how to escape and go out, the pandit asked the students in that part of the hall to give way and allow the goat to go away. Bleating Maa,Maa, the goat ran out of the hall with the entire hall reverberating with that sound. This drama lasted for more than thirty minutes. Nobody knew till date how the goat managed to come to the hall in the first floor of the building. The class was over by then and everybody vacated the hall shouting Maa, Maa and a few shouting U Maa, U Maa. Whether this was the climax in Kumarasambhava of Kalidasa or not, this was the climax for the entire class which I couldn't forget till date!
Sanskrit class
My second language was Sanskrit in my high school as well as in intermediate. 'Mudhra Rakshasa Nataka Katha' was our prose and 'Kumarasambava' of Kalidasa was our poetry prescribed for the course. Usually in all schools and colleges, Sanskrit teachers are the 'taken for granted tribes' ignored by the faculty and pooh poohed by the student community. Our Sanskrit teacher at the college was a lean figure with a tuft that would immediately create a revulsion among the students even in those days. He was handling Kumarasambhava for us. As per our syllabus we had the first three cantos i.e., "up to the birth of Kumara" for our course.
" Kumarasambhava" essentially talks about the courtship of Lord Shiva and Parvati. Devas are as usual worried about the atrocities perpetrated by the demon Taraka who had a boon that nobody could kill him except the son born of Siva and Parvathi. Devas are directed to strive for the union of Lord Siva and Parvati to decimate Taraka. Parvathi gets separated from Lord Siva in her previous birth as Dakshayani, the story of which most of you will be familiar with. In her next birth as Parvathi, meaning the daughter of parvatha that is mountain ( Himavan, i.e., Himalaya) is bent upon marrying Lord Siva, but Lord Siva has taken recourse to Sanyasa renouncing all worldly pleasures probably because of his previous unpleasant experience with Daksha. The bulk of chapters have enormous details about the love and romance between Shiva and Parvati . Devas appeal to Parvathi to somehow entice Siva and make him fall in love with her so that their union would result in the birth of Kumara. Parvati assumes the role of a sishyai and helps Siva in his Tapas. Siva goes into deep meditation, and so to help Parvathi, Devas approah Manmatha, the lord of love to excite passion in the mind of lord Siva using his Bana, i.e., arrow of flowers so that he will fall in love with Parvathi. Manmatha aims the Asthra towards Siva , lord Siva gets disturbed, irritated and opens his third eye even as devas shout 'U MA' meaning 'please don't' , but by then Manmatha gets burnt and so the story goes. After much efforts and penance, Parvathi wins the love of Lord Shiva and takes his hand in marriage. After sometime, Shiva and Parvati are blessed with a son whom they named Kumara. He grows up and slays the demon Tarakasura and re establishes peace and glory of Lord Indra and the divine world."
The first three cantos deal mainly with description of Himalayas, Devas appeal to Parvathi, penance of lord Siva, burning of Manmatha by opening the third eye of Siva, restoration of Manmatha visible to only Rathi, courtship between Parvathi and Siva, how Parvathi wins over Siva and takes his hand and the birth of Kumara. In this canto that deals with the romance of Siva and Parvathi, there comes the 'Padhathikesa" description of Parvathi running to over fifteen slokas.
Every sloka of Kalidasa is beautiful beyond words. Our Sanskrit pandit would read out the sloka first, then give word by word meaning, elaborating the overall meaning of the sloka, the grammatical peculiarities involved, vigrahavakyas of important words, the details of the tenses involved, roots of some of the words and the different forms it will assume, the similies and metaphors therein, a complete analysis of words based on Panini Sutra and so on, thus spending about thirty minutes for each sloka. So in each class he would cover at the most two slokas. No student ever cared to interrupt his lectures for asking any doubt or clarification not because they didn't have any doubt, but because of their inherent inertia and disinterest. Everything went on well till we reached the canto describing Parvathi from foot to head. He was trying to go fast to cover these slokas without spending as much time as he used to for the other slokas. Students who never stood up in the class to ask doubts started standing up and asking doubts on certain delicate points pertaining to the description of Parvathi's Angalakshanam. In literature these are all very common, but to tackle it in a class room to young students becomes very embarassing to anybody. Those who have read this part of Kumarasambhava will understand the delicacy involved in dealing with it and in teaching it to the youngsters, all being males (fortunately there were no girl students, since the college was a men's college). Every one started asking as many doubts as possible just for the fun of it and to put the teacher in an embarrassment. Pandit said that thes were not very important and that the students could read this part themselves and tried to skip it. There was huge protest from all corners of the hall with thumping of desks and floor saying that the teacher should explain them in detail as he had done so far. He paid no heed to these requests(!) and covered the description part of it in just three classes. I leave it to the imagination of the readers the rest of the thing. But students did not relent and put spokes in his lectures. Somehow he managed these few classes with great difficulty and ultimately proceeded forward. Within a week after this hullabaloo he was dealing with Cupid shooting the arrow on Lord Siva and devas from the sky were shouting at Siva requesting him to please stop and cried U MA. (Please 'Don't), but by then it was late. Manmatha was reduced to ashes. As the Sanskrit pandit was explaining the term UMA, there was a sound from some corner of the lecture room 'Maa, Maa' like the bleating of a goat. The noise started increasing and we saw a goat emanating from one corner of the hall getting trapped on all sides by unwary students not knowing the way out. Immediately there was a chorus from the entire class which grew louder and louder with every one shouting 'Maa, Maa' and the entire hall was reverberating with that sound. Sanskrit pandit was at first flabbergasted not knowing the reason for the chorus , but later when he saw the helpless goat in the corner of the hall getting cornered not knowing how to escape and go out, the pandit asked the students in that part of the hall to give way and allow the goat to go away. Bleating Maa,Maa, the goat ran out of the hall with the entire hall reverberating with that sound. This drama lasted for more than thirty minutes. Nobody knew till date how the goat managed to come to the hall in the first floor of the building. The class was over by then and everybody vacated the hall shouting Maa, Maa and a few shouting U Maa, U Maa. Whether this was the climax in Kumarasambhava of Kalidasa or not, this was the climax for the entire class which I couldn't forget till date!
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rgurus
Active member
One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Here is a Doctors certificate for your employer."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure.
He then went back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.
In ten seconds the computer prints the following: "1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant --Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better."
"And, as always... Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Here is a Doctors certificate for your employer."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure.
He then went back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.
In ten seconds the computer prints the following: "1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant --Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better."
"And, as always... Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
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rgurus
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எனக்கு இஷ்டமான அஷ்ட லட்சுமி கோயிலுக்குப் போனேன். அங்கே ஒவ்வொரு லட்சுமியாப் பார்க்கிறதுக்கு ஏறி ஏறி இறங்க வேண்டியதாய்ப் போச்சு. முழங்காலெல்லாம் ரொம்ப வலி தாங்க முடியல்லே. போதாததுக்கு அங்கே என் செருப்பு தொலைஞ்சு போச்சு.
உங்க இஷ்ட லட்சுமியைப் பார்க்கிறதுக்கு அஷ்ட லட்சுமி கோயிலுக்குப் போனது உடம்பு பூராவும் வலி எடுத்ததிலே கஷ்ட லட்சுமியாய்ப் போய், இப்ப செருப்புத் தொலைஞ்சி போனதினாலே, நஷ்ட லட்சுமியாவும் ஆயிடுத்துன்னு சொல்லுங்க.
உங்க இஷ்ட லட்சுமியைப் பார்க்கிறதுக்கு அஷ்ட லட்சுமி கோயிலுக்குப் போனது உடம்பு பூராவும் வலி எடுத்ததிலே கஷ்ட லட்சுமியாய்ப் போய், இப்ப செருப்புத் தொலைஞ்சி போனதினாலே, நஷ்ட லட்சுமியாவும் ஆயிடுத்துன்னு சொல்லுங்க.
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rgurus
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'முக்கிய' செய்திகள்
மத்திய மந்திரி எதிர் கட்சிகளின் கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் சொல்ல முடியாமல் 'முக்கு' முக்கென்று 'முக்கி'னார்
150 வினாயகர் சிலைகளை பக்தர்கள் கடலுக்குள் 'முக்கினர்'
கேட்ட கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் சொல்லத் தெரியாமல் 'முக்கி' முனகின மாணவனின் தலையை ஆசிரியர் நீரில் 'முக்கினார்'
மத்திய மந்திரி எதிர் கட்சிகளின் கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் சொல்ல முடியாமல் 'முக்கு' முக்கென்று 'முக்கி'னார்
150 வினாயகர் சிலைகளை பக்தர்கள் கடலுக்குள் 'முக்கினர்'
கேட்ட கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் சொல்லத் தெரியாமல் 'முக்கி' முனகின மாணவனின் தலையை ஆசிரியர் நீரில் 'முக்கினார்'
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rgurus
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Lying in the hospital bed, a dying man began to flail about and make motions as if he would like to speak. The priest, keeping watch at the side of his bed, leaned quietly over and asked, "Do you have something you would like to say?"
The man nodded to the affirmative, and the priest handed him a pad and pen.
"I know you can't speak, but use this to write a note and I will give it to your wife. She's waiting just outside."
Gathering his last bit of strength, the man took them and scrawled his message upon the pad which he stuffed into the priest's hands. Then, moments later, the man died.
After administering the last rites, the priest left to break the sad news to the wife. After consoling her a bit, the priest handed her the note. "Here were his last words. Just before passing on, he wrote this message to you."
The wife tearfully opened the note which read: "GET OFF MY OXYGEN HOSE.
The man nodded to the affirmative, and the priest handed him a pad and pen.
"I know you can't speak, but use this to write a note and I will give it to your wife. She's waiting just outside."
Gathering his last bit of strength, the man took them and scrawled his message upon the pad which he stuffed into the priest's hands. Then, moments later, the man died.
After administering the last rites, the priest left to break the sad news to the wife. After consoling her a bit, the priest handed her the note. "Here were his last words. Just before passing on, he wrote this message to you."
The wife tearfully opened the note which read: "GET OFF MY OXYGEN HOSE.
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rgurus
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இலை ஏன் பச்சையா இருக்கு? சொல்லு.
ஆண்டவன் அப்படி படைச்சுட்டான் சார்.
முட்டாள். அதுலே க்ளோரோஃபில் இருக்குன்னு நான் சொல்லித் தந்ததை மறந்துட்டியா?
க்ளோரோஃபில் இருந்தா ஏன் சார் இலை பச்சையா இருக்கணும்?
க்ளோரோஃபில்லோடே நிறம் பச்சையா இருக்கிறதாலே இலை பச்சையா இருக்கு.
க்ளோரோஃபில்லோடே நிறம் ஏன் சார் பச்சையா இருக்கு?
அதுலே இருக்கிற வேதிப்பொருள் பச்சையா இருக்கிறதாலே க்ளோரோஃபில் பச்சையா இருக்கு.
ஏன் சார், அந்த வேதிப்பொருள் ஏன் பச்சையா இருக்கணும்? ...................
அதுதாம்பா கடவுளோடே படைப்பு.
அதைத்தான்சார் நான் முதலிலேயே சொன்னேன்:
ஆண்டவன் அப்படி படைச்சுட்டான் சார்.
முட்டாள். அதுலே க்ளோரோஃபில் இருக்குன்னு நான் சொல்லித் தந்ததை மறந்துட்டியா?
க்ளோரோஃபில் இருந்தா ஏன் சார் இலை பச்சையா இருக்கணும்?
க்ளோரோஃபில்லோடே நிறம் பச்சையா இருக்கிறதாலே இலை பச்சையா இருக்கு.
க்ளோரோஃபில்லோடே நிறம் ஏன் சார் பச்சையா இருக்கு?
அதுலே இருக்கிற வேதிப்பொருள் பச்சையா இருக்கிறதாலே க்ளோரோஃபில் பச்சையா இருக்கு.
ஏன் சார், அந்த வேதிப்பொருள் ஏன் பச்சையா இருக்கணும்? ...................
அதுதாம்பா கடவுளோடே படைப்பு.
அதைத்தான்சார் நான் முதலிலேயே சொன்னேன்:
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rgurus
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பாட்டி: தலைவிரிகோலமா இருக்கா. நெத்தியிலே பொட்டு இல்லே. தலையிலே பூ இல்லே. கழுத்து மூளியா இருக்கு. ஐயோ பாவம். அந்த சின்ன பொண்ணுக்கு இந்த சின்ன வயசுலே இப்படி ஒரு கஷ்டம் வந்திருக்க வேண்டாம்.
பேத்தி: என்ன பாட்டி சொல்றீங்க? நீங்க நினைக்கிற மாதிரி இல்லை. இந்த மாதிரி இருக்கிறதுதான் இப்ப ஃபேஷன்.
பாட்டி: துக்கம் வந்த மாதிரி இருக்கிறது ஒரு ஃபேஷனா? காலமே அலங்கோலமாய்ப் போயிடுத்து.
பேத்தி: என்ன பாட்டி சொல்றீங்க? நீங்க நினைக்கிற மாதிரி இல்லை. இந்த மாதிரி இருக்கிறதுதான் இப்ப ஃபேஷன்.
பாட்டி: துக்கம் வந்த மாதிரி இருக்கிறது ஒரு ஃபேஷனா? காலமே அலங்கோலமாய்ப் போயிடுத்து.
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rgurus
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பையன்: அப்பா என் கிளாஸ்மேட் ஸ்மார்ட் செல்ஃபோன் வச்சிருக்காம்பா. எனக்கும் ஒண்ணு வாங்கிக்கொடுங்க அப்பா.
அப்பா: அதெல்லாம் என்னாலே முடியாது. நமக்கு வசதி பத்தாது.
பையன்: இல்லை அப்பா. வாங்கிக் கொடுங்க அப்பா. அப்பத்தான் அவன் என்னை மதிப்பான்.
அப்பா: உன்னைவிட செல்ஃபோன் வாங்க முடியாதவங்க எத்தனை பேர் இருக்காங்க?அதை நினைச்சுப் பாரு. நம்மளைவிட மேலே இருக்கிறவங்களைப் பார்த்து வருத்தமோ பொறாமையோ படறதை விட நம்மைவிட கீழே இருக்கிறவங்களை நினைச்சுப் பார்த்து சந்தோஷப் படறதுக்கு கத்துக்க.
(சிறிது நாள் கழித்து)
அப்பா: என்னடா கணக்குலே இவ்வளவு கம்மியா மார்க் வாங்கியிருக்கே. உனக்கு வெட்கமாயில்லே. உன் ஃப்ரெண்ட் ராமு நூத்துக்கு நூறு வாங்கியிருக்கான்.
பையன்: அப்பா என்னை விடமுப்பது பேர் கணக்குலே கம்மியா மார்க் வாங்கியிருக்காங்க. ராமு மாதிரி ஆட்களைப் பார்த்து வருத்தப் படறதை விட என்னைவிட குறைச்சலா மார்க் வாங்கினவங்களைப் பார்த்து சந்தோஷப்படுங்க அப்பா.
அப்பா: அதெல்லாம் என்னாலே முடியாது. நமக்கு வசதி பத்தாது.
பையன்: இல்லை அப்பா. வாங்கிக் கொடுங்க அப்பா. அப்பத்தான் அவன் என்னை மதிப்பான்.
அப்பா: உன்னைவிட செல்ஃபோன் வாங்க முடியாதவங்க எத்தனை பேர் இருக்காங்க?அதை நினைச்சுப் பாரு. நம்மளைவிட மேலே இருக்கிறவங்களைப் பார்த்து வருத்தமோ பொறாமையோ படறதை விட நம்மைவிட கீழே இருக்கிறவங்களை நினைச்சுப் பார்த்து சந்தோஷப் படறதுக்கு கத்துக்க.
(சிறிது நாள் கழித்து)
அப்பா: என்னடா கணக்குலே இவ்வளவு கம்மியா மார்க் வாங்கியிருக்கே. உனக்கு வெட்கமாயில்லே. உன் ஃப்ரெண்ட் ராமு நூத்துக்கு நூறு வாங்கியிருக்கான்.
பையன்: அப்பா என்னை விடமுப்பது பேர் கணக்குலே கம்மியா மார்க் வாங்கியிருக்காங்க. ராமு மாதிரி ஆட்களைப் பார்த்து வருத்தப் படறதை விட என்னைவிட குறைச்சலா மார்க் வாங்கினவங்களைப் பார்த்து சந்தோஷப்படுங்க அப்பா.
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rgurus
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A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.
When returning to her car she found she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter, she didn’t know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and she did not know what to do.
The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, “You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.”
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.
Then she looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t know how to use this.” So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, “Great God. This is what you sent to help me????”
But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said “Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car, I must get home to her.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car.”
He said "SURE". He took the hanger and within minutes he opened the lock. The lady hugged him with tears in her eyes saying "thank you so much. You are a very nice man"
The man replied, “Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour.”
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud….. “THANK YOU GOD FOR SENDING ME A PROFESSIONAL!
When returning to her car she found she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter, she didn’t know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and she did not know what to do.
The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, “You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.”
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.
Then she looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t know how to use this.” So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, “Great God. This is what you sent to help me????”
But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said “Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car, I must get home to her.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car.”
He said "SURE". He took the hanger and within minutes he opened the lock. The lady hugged him with tears in her eyes saying "thank you so much. You are a very nice man"
The man replied, “Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour.”
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud….. “THANK YOU GOD FOR SENDING ME A PROFESSIONAL!
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rgurus
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A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
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