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My Pursuit - 2 (Redefining what I thought needs to be done)

2006


June 10th 2006 - Graduation ceremony was over at university of cincinnati and it was time for me to start. I had already got the contact of a software consultancy from mouli and was in touch with sam geed from that consultancy. They had asked me to come over to san jose. The direct flight out of cincinnati to sanjose was very costly so I booked a flight out of Columbus in Ohio. I took the greyhound bus to columbus and asked my friend Gokul to help me out. He let me stay in his apartment and dropped me at the airport the next day. I don’t remember if I had a connecting flight or not.. but on the last leg of the flight into sanjose, I was sitting right at the back of the airplane and no one was in any of the seats within reaching distance. The airhostess kind of gave me a doubtful look but was nice enough to ask if I wanted anything, I asked for coffee and milk. She stared a bit but brought it for me. She stood for a second to see what I was doing and when I poured in the milk into the coffee, she said ooh.. u take milk with coffee.. and I said yes smiling. When I landed in sanjose airport, I saw that the handle on my suitcase was broken. I complained to the flight staff and they suggested they can take any of the suitcases which was left behind but I had to give my suitcase to them. The alternative suitcases was worse than my suitcase so I said its ok and left. Sam was waiting in the parking.

PWCUS was the software consultancy name and the person heading it was Chuck (chockalingam from tamilnadu. He had done his university in annamalai university.) Sam geed was the main recruiter. After reaching, I was accommodated with a few other MS graduates like me. We started to take Siebel CRM classes. I was late and in the middle of the teaching session so it did not make a lot of sense to me. Somehow I ended up in an altercation with one of the roommates and I called the police. The police got angry that I had called for a frivolous reason and left. The people in PWCUS decided to give me a different room. Then started the siebel analytics course. I learnt siebel analytics from scratch and was soon able to install a AWS siebel server in a clean PC and setup the whole thing. I also made friends with the others at the PWCUS office.. a few I can remember are pampa reddy, kriparam mannaraj, ajay tummala. Ajay used to also invite me to play cricket with him with a leather ball. Kriparam and sam used to play with the tennis ball cricket association and I also tagged along. I soon found that there was also a bunch of people playing cricket on the play ground nearby. Thats how I came to know Ramneek real. I also remember befriending a telugu person (Venkat??) who had moved to US much earlier.. he was also bald like me. I think he was a citizen or atleast his residency was firm. I ended up joining with ramneeks team and playing with that team.

Although I was also becoming well versed in siebel analytics, I was also trying to get a job in electrical engineering so my degree is not a waste. I had attended a job fair and had gone a company stall saying formfactor. I talked to the person there and he said he was not the hiring manager but adam was. He asked me to come back later. I went around the other stalls, chatted with a few other jobseekers also and finally came back to Formfactor stall. I had a talk with adam.. he said they might be interested and asked me to go onto their website and apply. I did that. But I thought that was that and forgot about it until one day morning Emad called. He just asked if I can take the interview now and answer a few questions. I initially said yes and then within 2 mins I realised I was not prepared. So I requested another time to talk. Before the phone interview, I went on their website, read about all that they were doing, read about the related courses I did and also some extra, revised my thesis and waited. The phone interview went well and I also told them what I knew about their work. Emad said,”looks like you did your home work” we would like to have you for an in-person interview.
 
The confirmation for the direct interview came from a HR person called Taran Dhillon. She had given the time, the interviewers details and the address. I saw the name Uttara Sampath and thought thats fantastic..I had assumed that she must be a married woman with kids and I might be able to get good south indian brahmin food which was non-existent in US.

On the day of the interview, I rented a car (Chevy Aveo) from a rental agency with my discover card and started driving. At Fremont, I took the wrong exit and started driving in the wrong direction till I came on a exit sign saying santa clara. I was sure I was going in the wrong direction so took an exit and asked help in a gas station. The person there helped out and told me how to go on my way. I called taran dhillon and said that I will not be able to make it in time and asked what to do. She asked if I was on my way and asked if I can reach by 10.30am. I said Yes. I reached Formfactor and went for the interview. The people who interviewed me were Emad Hreish, Ryan Matsuura, Uttara Sampath and Stefan Graef. Ryan seemed new to interviewing and was smiling most of the time. We became very good friends later on. Uttara sampath to my surprise was a younger girl, she asked a few questions and I answered where I could. Finally she started to find faults in my resume like I was putting gpa of 3.24 and things like that. I was really angry and was about to say.. you are also like me only. But I just did not. I later found her to be very quiet and non-interactive. Adam told me that she was from pune and knew four or five languages and was very intelligent. Anyway that only irritated me because I felt that I was somehow lesser. Anyways, as I was driving back from the interview still angry with uttara picking holes in my resume, the front right wheel burst and there was a jerk in the steering wheel, and suddenly I noticed a toyota some suv coming up behind me, so in a hurry to correct the wheel and control the car, I also slammed on the brakes. The car went into a skid and I ended up smashing a good length of fencing on the side of the highway. I tried calling for help and also the card number but I could not reach anyone. So I just stood by the car and my legs were shaking. FInally a police car came up and the officer came over and talked to me. I told him, I was coming back from an interview and this happened.. he said thats ok, I can see the skid marks and I will write an accident report and he gave me a card. When people at PWCUS learned about the accident, chockalingam called me to his office and scolded me. I realized he was only trying to take care of his people and so I kept quiet. Later I was informed that I was selected and I ended up joining formfactor.

On joining, I met the team of Ben (malaysian), Ryan Matsuura, Uma, Jagjit saini, Rose chao and Uttara. As I was learning the first steps, I started talking to people and realised that jagjit was a bit stressed and was working all the time. I went over to her and tried to talk. She did interact too..and when I tried to see if we can give her a break from sitting at her desk and eating.. I asked if I can go to lunch with her and rose if possible. She suddenly said, if I want lunch, I will ask my husband. I realized I was misunderstood and stopped talking. But I continued to talk with other people and make friends.. The first person I met from sales was Dane Granicher, good guy with a straight forward approach and talk mannerism. As we continued work, I realized that things were a bit tough.

In the middle, I also had to find a way of leaving PWCUS which had sponsored my H1B and shift the H1B to Formfactor. I was a bit stupid and incompetent at handling the situation and ended up messing things up. Anyway, a deal was struck and I had to pay 5000 USD to PWCUS and they will give me the copy of the H1B, I borrowed money from the other guys in PWCUS paid the money and transferred the H1B to Formfactor. During this time, I got in touch with a friend called Saravanan Namasivayam from Chennai who had done his GRE/TOEFL Classes with me and another friend. We three had a great time together and we roamed around chennai when there was no class. Now, saravanan said, lets find an apartment together somewhere between san jose and livermore so we both can goto office. We found an apartment on Fremont Blvd / Leslie street. The first month electricity bill was a lot even though we had not stayed the entire month.. I remember thinking whether they bugged our apartment and were making us pay the bills for it.. but laughed at the thought like it was an inside joke. It was funny then..
 
Saravanan had introduced me to this mechanic when he was trying to fix his car. Saravanan also had helped me find my car when he drove me down stevenson blvd and across different carsellers. I think I bought that car at the toyota company. We had tried different cars before and saravanan had said those were not good as I did not have full control. When we test drove this car, he said he felt finally safe and laughed. So we bought the car for 7000USD. I had no clue it was a cadillac till one day at a gas station, I found a guy staring at my car and he said.. “cadillac? Good car..”. Thats when I realized its a pretty nice car. This happened sometime in December 2006 or very early Jan 2007. At that time, i did not know anyone else other than Adam, Ryan and possibly Dane Granicher in Formfactor. I remember the salesman who sold me the car too.. he was working in some other area and had ended up being a salesman. He was not proper american either although a caucasian.. Saravanan shared a smoke with him. There is no way anyone could have manipulated that sale.. I was actually looking at other cars because the salesman was trying to sell me a newer car. I out of my own choice looked around and saw this dark green car which was to be my cadillac and asked if I can test-drive it. Even then, the salesman had not really seconded my choice.



2007



As I started to learn my job, and also play cricket with ramneeks team, and spend time going around fremont, livermore temple and such. I started to find time in the evening to say sahasranamam in the shiva vishnu temple at livermore. I made friends with one of the priests and also a person from livermore laborataries who came to the temple. Eventually, I saw suresh narasimhan in the temple and talked to him. He said he was working in Quality department and we started to talk regularly in the evenings.

Somewhere in between, work began to become hectic and there was discussion that the title Project leader should be changed and the HR description of Electrical Design Engineer should be used. This was because every person in the company was reaching out to the project leader whenever something happened and this created a lot of work in addition to design and such.. Jagjit was also starting to send emails complaining that work should only be 8 hours and things like that. Around this time, I had become good friends with just about everyone..Theresa weeks from engineering, Sergio from Mask, Stas, Sam (tamilian),James Wu, Ram Golla, and a whole lot of other people.. just cannot recollect their names after all these years.

Around this time, I started to have arguments with Saravanan, he had gone to India and had gotten engaged. He told me the entire story.. he also suggested he will help me find a job because he thought I was working too much.. he said that after I told him about certain things. But I said its ok, I will just get the first year of work experience under my belt and switch as changing after 6 months will make it tough for me in the job market. But eventually when the lease ended, we had to move out. Saravanan was going with his friend and we had a few arguments but I ended up asking suresh narasimhan for help. He said he can allow me to stay with him in his house in 5 Kansas Way in Fremont. So moved in with him.

Around the same time, my college classmate Kishore had come to bay area on a project. I went to meet him and we decided to go on a small road trip with his friends. That day morning, we filled my petrol tank and started to drive out..when I heard a small click behind me, I turned slightly to see what it was and ended up pulling the steering wheel. As I was accelerating to join the road from the gas station exit and also turned the steering wheel involuntarily, I ended up hitting a lamp post. None of us was hurt because of our seat belts. But the front right side of the car was crunched completely. Kishore later said one of his friends who was sitting in the back had a little chest pain.
 
But immediately after the accident, we did not know what to do and so we just walked to their apartment nearby. After a glass of water when I returned to my car, the police were already there. There was a lady officer and a male officer. The lady officer was quiet but the male officer was quite angry, he gave me a piece of his mind and said I was very close to being arrested. I was scared but sincerely told him the truth that I was really in shock because my car was in an accident and I did not know what to do and so had gone to my friends apartment to get some water and was coming back. The police called a towing company and the car was towed.

The towing company later called and told me the damage was bad and the insurance will not cover the damage. I thought it was such a nice car and did not want to loose it. So I reached out to a indian/fijian automechanic and asked if he can fix the car. He said he can and took the car and helped me arrange insurance payments to him. He also gave me a stand by car to drive.

It took a long time to get back the car and I was also with Suresh at that time and he was also insisting that I get the car back. After a slightly bitter discussion, I got the car back.

On one day, it so happened that I was trying to complete a design and I was not really getting alot of help with things I did not know. Because of this, I was ending up working late and still getting it wrong. Finally when the design review again came up wrong. I just took emad to a conference room, told him I am bloody irritated and taking 2 days leave and left.

When I went home, suresh asked what had happened and I told him. He scolded me thoroughly and asked if I had come to work or go on a holiday and forced me to go back to work. Which I did. Later, we learnt that jagjit saini had decided to leave. In the midst of all this, I had also made friends with Martin Schonhoff from germany office and also nikhil verma. We three started to hangout after office when possible. I went out to clubs with both of them twice. First time, I ended up vomiting badly. Second time, we went out, it was with susan fan from mechanical department and a friend of Martin who looked like klotskin, a professor from cincinnati. We went around SFO that night and I reached home around 3-4am. We did not really go out after that. But through Nikhil, I also met a few R&D people who were in another office. By this time, through all the attention to my car, I was getting attached to it.

After sometime. Rose Chao called a lunch for everyone at Livermore. We all went.. and jagjit was there. They announced that jagjit was pregnant and that she was walked out of the office without being able to return to her desk because she was complaining about working long hours. This disturbance about long hours started to do the rounds and finally we ended up in a meeting with the entire team, the HR vice president (a lady) and Richard freeman. They were beating around the bush the whole of the meeting and me being stupid, inexperienced asked something like..”are we going to do something or not” for which richard said “ we will definitely see what we can do”. Later I left a voice message to Adam saying I thought that was useless.
 
Things kept rolling and suddenly suresh said that I have to move out of the house and find another place. He had also helped another guy from india to stay with us and we kind of understood a bit of each other. He was from kerala. When I was asked to move, I shared that I was looking for accommodation with sam at the office and a few others. Sam suggested I look for a place in pleasanton since it was nearby. And I started looking for pleasanton rooms online. I got a advt for a room for 800 USD and decided to not follow up since I thought it was costly. But there were not many other advts. When I tried to call another advt.. the same person emailed me and asked if I was still looking for an apartment. Well, I did not have a lot of options so I took it up.

Around this time, I was regularly having lunch with ryan and ben and whoever will come join us. We also had lunch once with the sales team. They were starting up the singapore branch around this time and the VP of singapore happened to be in livermore, so I went with him and ryan also once or twice. People like gensaku nagai from japan also joined us for lunch whenever they were in town.

One day, the VP of HR came over and asked me if I can help a recruit from singapore to settle down as he was supposed to be trained to be a project lead in singapore. He was kelvin lim. She gave me the apartment address which the company was providing for him. When I went over the first time, kelvin was still jet lagged. But anyway, I ended up being friends with him but eventually a larger singapore group came in for training in pcb and other teams and he joined that group.

When I moved into pleasanton, everything was ok. Until, the guy who rented me the room said he was moving away and his friends will stay in the house. Around this time, I also met Rajesh Khanna a college friend.I took him and his friends to the cinema showing in Dublin arranged by formfactor and introduced them to a few people.

This was happening and I was also asked to use the new T3 technology to design a solution for texas instruments. It was not going to work. But I made a few adjustments and so it just fit the requirements. But I had forgotten to add a marker which said, this side up. And my colleague angela loo added it for me and cheerfully said..krishnan, I added that in your design, so don’t worry, you don’t have to do it again.. She was actually helping out like a good friend. But that small marker made a big difference and the mistake was found at only a very late stage. The first few emails were ignored by me but the issue escalated until there were too many people in cc and someone put my name in Capital - KRISHNAN PARTHASARATHY.. I was shocked looked at what was happening and found the issue with the marker. I designed a solution without opening my mouth and also sent out detailed instructions for the corrective measures. After that Emad came over and asked me to call a meeting to clear the old problem and coordinate the settlement of the design. It was a bit too much for me and I did not know who were in the meeting and after 45 mins.. I gave up and told emad, I really don’t know what to do.

Thats when the problem started.. till then, things were great.. I also found that uma was going hiking with roy and tried to join them 2 or 3 times. It was fun.. but just walking around the bushes was not very interesting to me. So I stopped. But the new roomie at pleasanton started picking unnecessary fights. One day as I was starting to work. I forgot my id and went back in to get it. I had left the key in the ignition and the door open. When I came back the car door was closed and the car was running. I did not know what to do and called angela to tell her to tell sanjay that I will be late. Then I called nikhil to see if he can come over and help. He came over immediately, drove me to the post office and helped me get my car registration copy and then drove me to the cadillac showroom in pleasanton/dublin… and get a duplicate key made. Sanjay Arora was now the manager because he was called from canada to replace adam. Adam had informed me two weeks before he left the manager position that he was asked to move and he will be looking at doing something else at the company. Eventually, the genial head of design Kunio Hasebe also left suddenly. He said that he will now relax and go fishing.
 
Soon after, I noticed that it was time for servicing my car for 60,000 miles. So I drove it over to the cadillac showroom and was surprised to see smoke coming out of the bonnet. I eventually proceeded to give the car for servicing and told them about the smoke. They gave me a substitute rental car but ended up extending the time they kept the car.. excuses given were like..there was a strike and parts were not being delivered.. some nuts or bearings in the engine needed to be replaced and such. After spending a lot of the rent for the rental car.. I just told them to return the car so I can drive it away. I took the car and left. The roommate at pleasanton was also creating problems.. one day he put a bunch of wooden twigs in the toilet and said it would not flush. I bought a plunger, cleared the twigs and cleared the toilet also. I also communicated I was having these issues to rajesh khanna, he suggested that I move in with him. I said ok. But the car also started giving unknown problems..the indian/fijian guy said there was dirt in the petrol which has clogged the engine and the car will not start. I was tired of him and just told him to start the car and give it back. When I drove the car back to rajesh khannas apartment in grimmer blvd, it would not start again when I was going to leave.I had to call Allways towing from fremont. They came towed the car and again gave me differing problems. Finally I got the car back and it was already time for me to return to india for my parents 60th anniversary. So I took the car and rajesh khanna to my pleasanton room, moved all my things to rajesh’s apartment in fremont and went to the SFO airport to board the flight. I was basically out of money after spending all my cash on the unexplained repairs of my car. But I was super happy that I was returning home.

I had been in pleasanton from september to october 2nd when I left for india. In india, it was a great time, I had gotten engaged, the engagement was a big ceremony and all our family had come.Everything was so happy.

I have already described what happened after I returned to SFO on November 2007 to you.
 
2008


Everything from Jan 14th when I got on sq1 singapore airlines flight to the end of the year.. I am pretty sure you know..

The significant things were..

In mid Feb 2008 – Formfactor emailed me that they were reducing their workforce and therefore I had to leave and they were giving me a termination package. I got seriously angry and told them that after the contributions that I have made to formfactor, it was insulting that I am being given a termination package and I would like to quit. Therefore, I submitted my resignation letter and requested it to be considered as of the same day itself. The HR emailed and asked for my phone number so that they can talk to me. But I just said.. I have no interest anymore in view of all that had happened.

Around April I was medicated..


Now.. rewind to the top of my posts to see what is happening..
 
Smriti..








After basically no serious work from whenever in Australia, I got my first work assignment in security in Yarrawoonga from IPS in Melbourne. I just joined and was assigned the shift around 9pm.. I had to take the train the next day to yarrawoonga at 7AM from southern cross. The last bus back from lorimer street was gone and I had to go back to IPS to request them to get me a cab. The cab driver was a punjabi.. got into chatting with him. I needed newer and local friends. Needed to setup another support system so chatted freely with him trying to see what kind of a person he was. He responded and also gave me his card. He said I can call him when I was back, we could talk sometime.





The next day, I got on the train. The train went upto Benella station and I had to take a coach from there. I thought the myki card would work and had not bought a ticket. But the lady at Benella station was kind enough to not get angry and instead helped me pay for the ticket at the station.





I reached Yarrawoonga, it had been a nice picturesque ride across the australian countryside. On reaching I immediately went to the aged care centre where the other guard Hamza was waiting. I told him I will get something to eat and come back. I walked around the main street where woolworth and other shops were, I noticed an indian restaurant which seemed haunted (no living person visible), a fish and chips store which was closed and a chinese restaurant where an asian man was standing at the door. I went to the chinese man and asked for take away fried rice and some chicken. Went straight back to the centre to relieve the Hamza. The people were friendly there. Well, obviously, I could not just be professional and stand at a respectable distance by myself, so I ended up talking to some of the residents. I even got a coffee from the lady who was serving it to the centre residents. Things went on and I went to the hotel for the night and slept.





After two days, I had to get another white shirt for going to work as I had just packed a back-pack and had come over to yarrawoonga. As I searched the local target store, a lady came by and I asked her where I can get white shirts.. she pointed to a set of 4-5 shirts and said that it was all they had. As I was trying to check the sizes, she came around and asked me.. are you working at the aged care centre? I heard there is a really nice guy who started as security there..





I was shocked. I did not know what to say and just stared back with a questioning glance. She just said.. oh.. maybe you dont know.. and she left.





I happily whatsapped this incident to just about everyone of my contacts.. some unknown person had just referred to me as “a really nice guy”.. yippeee..





As the days progressed, I was trying to find a local laundry to wash my clothes. I had just found one down the road on that day morning and had told Hamza about it. That evening, when I came back, I started taking out the clothes and without realizing what happened, I slept. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed I had slept over my clothes on top of my pillow. I was a bit shocked. I almost never sleep like that.. and I had basically done no physical work in the past week.





There started the slow realization of what was happening.. It is now my understanding that some form of medicine was applied to make me sleep. These medicines always have a weird effect, and right now, it began to give me the ability to better analyze what was happening.





I looked around and started noticing that the residents dont seem all that genuine except for the old dutch lady. She always kept mumbling and could not understand or respond to anyone.. and possibly one other resident .. I dont clearly remember all the peoples names who might have been real.. since everything around me has come crashing down to reality since then. But there were three people I remember .. Kayla ( a healthy woman), Kelly ( a nurse who could easily make conversation) and Laureen ( some sort of head nurse??).. these were good genuine people as far as I could say.. and yes.. there was this girl Lani.. nice girl.. had what you would call “Lakshanam..” or looked apt for what should be a girl.. or the meaning is something like that.. I hope she gets a nice husband who takes care of her. . but yes.. lets get back to the now..





By Saturday morning and still more of the supposed ‘good’ sleep.. I realized things were just too shitty.. I did not tell anyone but I just asked one of the nurses if I can talk to someone senior. She immediately showed a glint of recognition and I knew I had talked to the right person.. See.. god is there.. and he works in mysterious ways.. She immediately called two people to come and talked to me. I was upfront to the most possible extent when talking to them.. I just told them, that the indications or setup for my loosing my mind were all there and I dont want to run around shouting only to end up being tazed or shot. They just kept quiet for about 2-3 mins and asked me what I wanted them to do. I told them, I dont know.. I was actually asking them for suggestion on what best to do next. One of them .. (Tara.. real name??) asked me to talk to my security company and go back home. I told her that the company had already been notified and they will send another relief guard on monday.. she said she will call the agency and let me know.. at around 8.30 to 9am, she came back hurriedly to me and said I should leave and that she had already talked to the security company. She let me out the door personally as the lady at the front desk was on the phone. As she opened the door, she told me to first take care of myself.. I smiled without understanding.. but eventually got on the bus back to Benella that day evening. There were a few other noteworthy people too.. like Jim.. and the afternoon of saturday when I talked with Hamza.. and the new guy at the hotel who was rude/menacing.. bordering on aggressive when I asked him to help me get back into my room.. I thought the hotel owner was a nice short man.. cheerful and smiling.. he had offered to get me food at the centre if I decided to call him.. Anyways..





As I talked to Assam on the way back and she was advising me to sms the security company that I had left work and things.. There was a rush of thoughts about what happened in the US. Most of the train journey back to melbourne was drowned in those thoughts..





Thats when I started wondering if the covid thing was actually crap.. I did go over to prashants place when I started having thoughts pushed into my brain.. I do believe they were doing this scientifically.. just like our olden days people when had done this and had painted it beautifully as asareedhi in our historical stories.. to my limited knowledge.. most of our stories .. called myth by the western people.. basically are a very good allegorical portrayal of science which was very advanced..





I think someone had quoted..





“Any technology sufficiently advanced, is no different from magic”





I think it needs a slight modification..





“Any technology sufficiently different or advanced, is no different from magic”





and that is why we push aside the ideas in our itihaasa – puranas as magic which is not something real and thus the stories are called myth..





probably.. this too will go down in history by some other name.. but lets see..





I am still unable to assess prashant’s reaction.. I still believe that if he crossed the line and helped out directly, then they will go after him too… So I am trying my best to keep a random conversation or text going without getting too close… I know the asuras too well by now.. these fucks will do anything.. but I still have to see what I can do to save myself too..





Now, I am sitting here.. with some level of understanding.. but still cannot assess the limit of depravity that the current society has been pushed to .. are they actually watching me on live tv?? with popcorn and things..? that would match the description of kali (the current time period is called kali in the hindu scriptures) in srimad bhagawatham..





But, for now..





Its like one of those story books from the 80s and 90s.. where you can choose your storyline.. where at the end of the page.. it gives you a choice and you have to choose which page to go to depending on your decision..





I now have to make choices and get out of the shit.. but every choice I make leads to another problem.. they just want me to die.. yeah.. I have something else coming.. My reaction would be something like that at the end of Matrix movie first part.. where neo says.. “ I know you are listening.. babababa..” without knowing there are going to be two more movie parts before the final “The end”.. Lets see.





Anyways, I have now contacted the indian embassy in canberra.. inspite of the multiple hoax websites quoting melbourne embassy sites.. but lets see.. will the embassy turn around and help out.. we just have to see.. the srilankan airlines has already cancelled the flight that I booked..





But having been through this multiple times.. I know one thing.. if this continues.. that is the thought interruptions.. I will end up a lunatic talking to myself.. like a true schizophrenic. Because I continue to think that the voices are still there even after they have stopped.. that means I am now talking to myself without making any meaning and basically.. going mad. I have already started talking to myself as late as yesterday.. ever since the first thought interruptions took place last sunday morning.. April 12th ?? It would suffice to relate to what happened in 2008.. although the stress of scorpions sting had gone and I had returned to India, the stress and the medicines had been applied for a sufficient duration that the mental aberration lasted far longer?? or am I wrong and the stress did continue well after I returned to India.. you tell me..





We really need to do something about the scorpion.. dont we ..??





For now, I just need to get back to some form of peace and quiet and also a familiar setting to get my mind back on track. Will I be able to get there..??





Sarvam srikrishnarpanamasthu..
 
Ok.. thats too much theory.. for a gap and that situation song which is needed round about now..

prachana prachana ethana prachana.. (problems problems so many problems..)
sirichi sirichi therichitaen (laughed laughed and burst.. )

lol...


 
Irrespective of what happened in the US.. I feel completely let down by my country and family.. its 12 years.. why did someone not just sit down and talk??

And I was a person who said Country First, Family Next.. (copied.. albeit)

Now, I have decided to pursue legal action to first set my home right.. look at my own back.. and then we will look at what the US did..

1. I had emailed the Ministry of External Affairs in Australia for assistance and did specify that my medical symptoms were worsening and I needed to get back home with the local gp also suggesting the same.. But still no response since the 23rd email.

I will be petitioning the high court and see what happened..

for all the anti-US rhetoric.. they actually spirited a US woman accused of aggravated murder because she drove on the wrong side of the road in Britain and killed a british man. The US woman was taken in a transport plane and is now safe on US soil.. cannot be sentenced in Britain.

And my country does not respond..

2. I am going after my father and my brother for the money I paid for clearing his loan back in 2010.. these same people were the cause for everything that happened.. This is my father.. he should have sat down and talked to me after the marriage was cancelled.. I cannot understand what international pressure or government order or medical advice would make a father that is my dad today.. I talk so much about the vedic system and family.. and my own family is like this..

For the 12 years since 2007 end.. I want atleast 3 years Rigorous imprisonment for my father and brother who connived and repeated statements I made in the US back to me when I was trying my best to say I dont know what is happening.. They packed me off on that fateful day from besant nagar CPWD quarters.. I will never forget that night..

3. I am bloody well going after bosch.. 2 Labour commissioners have given opposing statements that they are both not involved.. then who is to answer?? what? Indian people are koththu adimai?? slave labour?? who is answerable.. I am going to push as much as I can..


Hopefully, I force a knee jerk reaction atleast and no one in india lets their own man down like this..

Lets see.. (cannot think of another song right now.. )
 

Dont start a riot .. she said..



I have now decided that it is useless..

If the average citizen does not want to kill the blanket legal surveillance that led my life to this.. then lets give him his wish.. Let me strengthen the reasons for surveillance.. more strict now..

If I do not get a message from the embassy before May 6th about my scheduled departure.. I will take to the streets..

Dont start a riot.. she said..

I am going to start one..

No I will not hurt the average citizen on the road.. I am going to go to the police station and take it out on the nearest police vehicle.. Its ok if the police shoot or taze me.. they are still people so I will do my best to not blow my top.. Lets see..

when they discover that I have been posting online for so long and no one saw this.. they will flash news across all the tv channels that their surveillance and security measures failed.. they will strengthen it.. closing the noose tighter around everyone.. Thab dekhenge..

Lets see if they respond faster to a complaint from a online forum administrator or to my email to the embassy.. better to have your cameras trained on the st.kilda police station on May 7th..

Dont start a riot .. she said..






Krishnan.vp said:
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Dont start a riot​



Her name was neeraja. She was attractive and healthy. She spoke tamil, that is, until she began talking in malayalam to the girl sitting next to me. It seems she was born in India and shifted to Singapore and then did her masters in the UK. Now married to an accountant in Oz, she was taking the flight to melbourne. She was seated next to me. Yup. I was seated in the middle of two young women on a 8 hour flight to Melbourne from Singapore...

"Irundhutaalumm..."

I remembered my friend quip when I last told him about the time I had a hot babe sitting next to me on a flight. The literal translation to english would be something like.. "Even if that happened.." but the real purport of the word/phrase is.. even if what you are saying had truly happened, it was of no use because you are not going to do much or get much out of the situation.

Which is true.. I am never really going to be able to get out of the brahmin conservative mindset that I was brought up with. That is the primary reason I have not been able to get myself a girlfriend or spend a night at the local brothel. But yes.. I am working on it.. I am sure I will end up on the lap of some girl who is willing to screw a middle aged man just for the novelty of it. Lets see...

Quite talkative and not having anything else to do anyway, Neeraja and I started talking. The flight was delayed from take off due to a passenger being ill and the flight having to return to the bay.

Eventually as the flight took off almost 2 hours late, we had had quite a talk and did not have much to say to each other. I turned to the other girl on my left and asked her what her name was. She said Chandni. It seems she was also travelling from India to Melbourne to meet her family who were already there. she had just passed out of college and had been working in a software firm for only a year. Easy to smile shyly, she responded to most of the questions I asked her. But then I too was tired and decided to sleep a bit. I woke about 4 hours into the flight and saw that both the girls were bored. There was no in-flight entertainment on scoot you see. After a bit of chit chat, I went back to sleep.

As I woke up again, the air hostess was announcing that they were approaching melbourne and we need to keep our seat belts on. I could sense neeraja's relief after sitting doing nothing for more than 10 hours. Chandni was just bent over leaning into the seat in front. She too must have been really tired from the abnormally long flight. And thats when it struck me..

Why not try a social engineering experiment..?

So.

I started another conversation with neeraja and told her that I was going to share the truth about myself to her and would like to know her true reaction. I noted that since we were not obviously going to see each other after the flight.. It should not be a problem to either of us to be 100 percent truthful. And I told her the gist of my story in the next 8-10 mins.. schizophrenia, hospitals, engagement cancelled, excellent work experience, my book and finally.. Assam.

I told her that since I knew that my life was going no where, I wanted to start acting like the protagonists of the indian movies of the mid 90's.. These movies usually depicted the story of a straight forward, simpleton who undergoes traumatic events and becomes a rowdy much like a sword etched by fire and goes after all the badies in the world.

I told her I was going to get myself a menial 8 hour job in Melbourne and spend atleast a week in India every month where I will file legal cases against all the dirty politicians, baddies and you know.. the rest.. I also told her about the 50 million case against Bosch that I had already filed to enunciate the fact that I was being very serious.

Her eyes widened slightly. She asked " Do you really think you will get money from Bosch?" . "No." I said. I dont think I will get any money at all from the court case. But I just wanted a judgement that clearly went against me. I would then use that judgement and present the emails with Bosch to the Australian courts. This would prove that Bosch was open to using unethical and anti-labour activities when and wherever this was possible. I would aver that they would do the same in Australia if they could and thus needed to be stopped from operating anywhere. Nope. It would not result in anything. But it would create a ripple. At least a few would turn around. Maybe someone will notice the poor labour conditions in India.

Maybe something will change.

I was willing to bet on the small 'Maybe' in the above sentence. I also wanted to try and question dirty politicians legally in court. If everyone had thought that nothing could be done about our earlier CM Jayalalitha, she would never have seen jail. Somebody did not think so. And thus today is happening.

Similarly I want to be the somebody who questions things. You do realize that someone has to do it. And I actually qualify for the position.. with no real life, no future, no family, just single old me.

Just for the bravado.. let me add the following..

Saying that someone robbed you is just a normal affair, anyone would do it. Going out and catching the thief is what a real man should do.

To be hundred percent truthful and grounded in reality, this should end up something like in the movie "Evano Oruvan" with me dieing in some unknown location trying to go back home and the poor police officer forever regreting that it was he who had to pull the trigger...

Trailer of Evano Oruvan...


Evano Oruvan was the remake of the original Dombivli fast in 2005.

After listening to everything, she said, I think you should concentrate on trying to make a difference in the life of the one person who said she will be by your side, Assam. Yes, by going after badies, bosch and all you might make a difference (or may not) in many lives. That we are not sure about. But what we are sure about is that you can really make a difference in Assam's life because she says she will be with you.

I retorted that Assam is always saying that she will leave me and that we are getting into fights every other day or so. But she just said.."She did not leave you, did she?"

Neeraja had this to say to sum it up.

It is all good and nice to see that you are willing to go around beating baddies with a stick. But it does not really happen in real life. And it is my request to you that even if you are really going to go after wrong-doers, try to do it in a realistic and sane manner. Dont start a riot.


Its a different matter that Assam has now left following the irreconciliable argument that started between us on the very same day as this flight. She had been angry that I had boarded this flight to melbourne even after we had specifically agreed that we would spend 6-8 months in India after marriage. She was also angry about how I could take my brother to court, with him being my family. This made her to stop all communication with me.

Now that I really dont have anything in life..

Dont start a riot... She said.. hmm..
Click to expand...
 
And after that post..

I went for a walk.. around melbourne CBD.. throwing around cars with my eyes.. lol..

I tried to go to the ISKCON food centre in the alley inside Little Collins.. But it was closed.. cha..

they have lassi, orange juice, unlimited rice and vegetarian gravy with appalam (crackers) basically all unlimited and also yes.. sweet kesari with custard.. and I think they also have dates cake or dates brownie or something which they give if you ask for it..

Thought I might as well give 9 AUD for the unlimited food and also help them spread peace.. well.. it was not to be..

Went down to flinders station too.. but decided to just come back.. and yeah.. I tried spanish churros finally.. they were quite good. especially when you take with the side dips.. yes.. a little bit too sweet once you dig into them.. but definitely good.. you should try..

As for scaring the admin on this forum.. well.. it just ended up like that .. not sure what to say..
 
KGF – Without Rocky’s order nothing happened in Bombay


Rocky oda order illama Bombay la edhuvumae nadakkathu..

One day back in 2007.. I was filling out the design details on the database form. I think it was the checkbox for Flash Card which was on the left. It was too near to another option for the design spec. So I just took a screenshot and sent an email to a person I knew. I wanted the checkbox to be on the right so that I do not mistakenly click it. When I came back after lunch, it was on the right.

Very simple thing right?

Wrong.

When you are in the IT department of a Multinational company, you will know that anything which has to do with changing the outlay or outlook of a particular screen .. especially in a database screen.. takes and requires approvals and emails from atleast 2 different heads.. and later it has to actually be implemented by a programmer, tested and released.

All that had happened by the time I got back from lunch..

No. I was not Rocky from KGF. But for some reason ppl listened to me. Was that the reason these fools are so scared of me that they have to pull me down everytime I seem to be getting back up?

Tralier of KGF..




If you gain courage because a thousand people are standing behind you.. then you can win a war..

But if a thousand people gain courage because you are standing in front of them.. then you can conquer the world..

Me..?? Should I try ..?? Will it work .. ??

By the way.. when is KGF 2 coming out?? am waiting for it dude..
 
The KGF Effect

I would call it the KGF Effect. Its what happens when you watch KGF movie and try to type up something.. which is my earlier post..

So dont take it seriously.. and go on.. go do your work.. dont be lazy now..

shoo.. go..

I am going to sleep, its already 11.15pm
 
The cycle



Kritha, Thretha, Dwapara, Kali – The chathur yugas.. It is said that the chathur yugas keep repeating themselves in a cycle. Each time with slight variations but always the story remains the same.


This chathur yuga is signified by the swetha varaha.. or the white varaha avatar.


It is said that in the first Yuga – Kritha Yuga.. the asuras were in other worlds and they attacked earth. In Thretha yuga.. they came to live in our world itself but in different continents.. like lanka (Ramayana happened). In Dwapara yuga.. they lived among us.. the mahabharatha war was between cousins. And it is said that in Kali.. the asuras live within us.. it is said that we ourselves, or a part of us, will actually crave depravity and a lack of rules wherein we loose sight of what is actually needed.. which is a peaceful life..


But having been able to look around me.. I think and believe that we are only 5000 years into kali.. and there are still people who crave a peaceful life. Unfortunately.. lanka has become bigger and badder.. so have the asuras and their brethren who weave their black magic.


I am able to see this.. but what can I do?


Maybe I should not think about what I can do or achieve.. maybe I cannot do or achieve anything at all in reality..


But


I have to do what needs to be done. I will persevere to bring peace to the few who desire it. I know and understand the sloka Asathoma sargamaya.. which states that we go from darkness unto light and from light unto darkness.. meaning from peace to chaos and back again in an eternal cycle.


If the gods are watching as I write this.. I pray.. please guide me.


Lets hope the Mythili Initiative works.


As always.. I believe in.. Sri Rama Jayam.


Sarvam srikrishnarpanamasthu.
 
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Why burden me?


If our scientific theory of evolution is true and darwin was right.. and if our puranas are merely allegories to teach us the best path to a peaceful life.. then the vedas are the supreme source of knowledge as has been laid out in the texts.


And if the chathur yuga is merely a concept and we have our timelines wrong because even the measurement of length and weight are different in the stories.. what if we have got the concept of kali wrong..


We do see a central control of all our data and eventually our lives by certain people.. and these certain people lack morals from what they have been doing in the last twenty years.. what if it was time for a resurgence.. what if it was time for peace as in the sloka asathoma sargamaya.. as in after chaos..


The only thing I do not understand is why would someone like me who is so uneducated in the ways of the old and the vedic texts be central to this plot.. should it not have been someone who knows the reality of the vedic texts who brings this to light??


I dont understand it.. why burden me?


The only significant thing I have achieved so far is I was able to influence a small part of the ‘their’ community when I was 27 back in 2007 and got work (what I wanted) done efficiently as I have described in KGF – Without Rocky’s order nothing happened in Bombay.


But I still do not have any inkling what is said in the Rig, Yajur, Sama and Atharvana vedas..


In the stories, it is said that the vedic mother of knowledge will cry that she will be misunderstood if a person comes to her without first reading the Itihasas and Puranas in that order. If the goal was to propagate vedic texts.. then I have read only the Itithasas and only one purana out of the 18 puranas.. I have not even so much as learnt the spelling of the yajur veda that my family lineage is meant for.


So


I really dont understand it.. why burden me?


ISKCON has already been established for the caucasians.. only problem being they have mixed up the concept of christian priests and sanyasi.. In the vedic texts, the family life or grihastha time is considered an important part of the everyday life and sanyasi or christian priest oriented life is only for old age after one has established an appropriate lineage and progeny. And without progeny, the sanyasi cannot really pass on the great knowledge to the next generation. Getting progeny through a properly established family as per the texts is therefore imperative for continuation of the knowledge. Anyway, that is the view of an onlooker into a very peaceful way of life led by the (ISKCON) International SriKrishna Consciousness people. I am not enlightened enough to comment further.


Too many unsolved questions.. god has a reason for everything they say.. I guess it is not my job to find answers to these questions.. but it is my job to go forth and do what needs to be done. But I must say.. I am very happy that I have been used as a tool.. if at all I have been used so far..


Or was it my job to create the mythili initiative only..? and let society take up the research into what is said in the texts so that we can test the frontiers of space and science in the coming generations in a peaceful way?


Ok. I am going in circles so I am going to stop. Let us see..


Sarvam Srikrishnaarpanamasthu.
 
ISKCON vs Mythili Initiative






I pray that my wordings come out just right in this particular topic.


I do not know why I included a short paragraph about ISKCON in my previous post, it was included after I had completed writing it. So, I would like to elaborate a little bit about my thoughts on ISKCON.


I do believe ISKCON is a good starter course for people not knowledgeable of the Vedic culture. But it must also be noted that they put undue importance on the Krishna Avatar and Srimad Bhagavatham which is just one out of 18 puranas.


From what I have seen (which might not be much), they pay more importance to the bhagavad gita which is also symptomatic of the caucasian treatment of the bible. To put things in perspective, the position of gita in the vedic texts is as follows – Vedas > Puranas > Itihasas > Bhagvad Gita. Irrespective of the importance of the gita itself, the aforementioned lineage is how the text is presented in historical timelines.. something like in a book, we have Table of Contents > Chapters > Sub Topics > Tabular column and/or Illustrative example. What if someone said that the Illustrative example is the most important part of the book and it is not important to read the book itself but just read the example. For some this is correct, for some its not.


ISKCON also concentrates on the satvic way of life as it is deemed the best. But the vedic system divides all forms of life into rajho, satvic and tamas wherein, all gamuts of life forms are adequately represented and respected. Concentrating on and celebrating the satvic alone might be faulty in my opinion. And this is what causes ISKCON to mostly reject any text related to shiva or shakti or Amman.


Mythili Initiative on the other hand is aimed at understanding the whole gamut of concepts which encompass life on earth as a whole and is an attempt to translate this knowledge into helping modern science.


Did that come out right? I hope so.


But ISKCON is a good starting point for people who dont know a lot. In the end, just like every life form has a right to exist, so does every belief methodology also have a right to exist. There is no right and wrong. But we already know what is right.. dont we? If you are able to understand the previous line, you will already know why ISKCON is good for everyone. As to why there is no right and wrong.. that is a topic for another post.. cheerio for now..
 
Right and Wrong






When I first started teaching my friends son, who is about 9, about spirituality.. I was a bit afraid that he might take things literally and not concentrate on the real world. So I made it a point to tell him at the start itself that it is important to be spiritual but it was equally important to understand that we have to live in the real world.


I started with the concept of spiritual beings around us. It is said that the human form is limited in its experience because we have only 5 senses. The more we proceed along the current time line, the more people will be limited by the experience given by their five senses and they will ignore anything that can exist outside of our five senses namely touch, smell, taste, sight and hearing. Therefore, ppl will not accept that there are spiritual beings all around us.


I went on to say that these spiritual beings or fairies, although present all over the place, usually congregate in places of worship and the pooja room in our house. The more strict your mother is, the better your pooja room and therefore, more the number of spiritual beings in your house.


Now, these spiritual beings go around saying thathasthu to just about everything you say – irrespective of whether it is good or bad, right or wrong. Thathasthu basically means ‘so be it’. So you have to be careful what you wish for.. especially in the temple where there are a lot more spiritual beings and all of them together will say thathasthu to your wish and make it come true. That is why you should not use cell phones and other distractions in places of worship. So you can concentrate on the right things and get it granted by the spiritual beings.


From the above comes the question of why would the spiritual beings say thathasthu to everything? Are they not intelligent? Can they not say thathasthu to only the right things or the good things?


For this, the answer is that Good and Bad as also Right and Wrong is only in the realm of man. The spiritual beings know that there is no Right and Wrong because Right and Wrong is determined by three things.. time, place and who we are. Do you realize that online method of teaching is right and acceptable now because people no more have the time to go to college and get a full 3 or 4 year degree? Would this have been acceptable in the 18th century or the 19th century? In those times, you would have been required to compulsorily spend time completing a prescribed course is it not? So what is right now is not right in the 19th century. Therefore, time determines whether something is right or wrong. Similarly, where you are and who you are also determines whether something is right or wrong. Something which is right to a Japanese (unquestioned work ethics at the job) will not be right to someone in India (Work ethics are not so strict and we can chat or have lunch during work times as we desire). So you see whether you are in Japan or India (place) and whether you are japanese or indian (who you are) determines what is right or wrong for you.


Since right or wrong is forced/determined by more than one factor, there is no ‘fixed’ right or ‘fixed’ wrong. The spiritual beings who understand this therefore just go around saying thathasthu. But we in the realm of mankind do have right and wrong because we perceive it as such. Therefore, we have to be careful what we wish for.
 
Requesting Bosch to consider negotiations


Now that we know what is happening and all.. I dont believe we will be backing down from the labour case with Bosch .. righta??

But just like in just about all folklore.. let us give them yet another chance to realise and accept their mistake.

For me to consider withdrawing the labour case, Bosch will have to agree to the following..

1. Publicise that they support the Mythili Initiative as described on my website and donate 50 million USD to my trust to carry out the Mythili Initiative.
2. Agree that going forward the work timings for Bosch and its subsidiaries in India will be 8.30am to 5pm only and its employees will not be bothered outside of working hours just like the german labour laws stipulate.
3. Every person employed by Bosch and its subsidiaries in India who are managing a team of more than two should be able to answer a test on what is said in the Bhagavad Gita. Random Tests will be conducted by a neutral third party like samskrita bharathi.

If they accept and do the above, they will come out smelling like roses from this quagmire they built for themselves. Else, it will be slowly but surely dragged across the streets of India. If you are really paying attention to the above three points, all three of them are eventually going to be my priorities if I do or even do not get to stand in the state elections. I will publicize my mythili initiative and will probably get more than 50 million USD, as also, I will be pushing for adopting European labour laws in India just like we adopt European pollution standards for vehicles. Will Bosch realise this and jump the line to accept these conditions and prove to be magnanimous when people look at things in hindsight after I push for changes to the labour laws?

Will Bosch be intelligent enough to realize that the above three points are but eventualities and accept the conditions and avoid standing before the courts publicly or will they choose the other way.. They did declare an average of 1500 crores profit year on year for the last 5 years.. Will they risk loosing that future?


Lets see..
 
The smirk on your face


The smirk.. yes.. the smirk on your face.

I do realise that you have it all over your face. Given all that had happened and possibly now that everyone knows the Bosch story and what happened with my immigration application and et al..

But still.. I stand by my argument.

Why?

Because the facts for that argument were created a long time before I even had a need to create an argument in court. Such is the play of God.

Even today, if the Bosch case were to go on in front of a Judge. I would happily say right to everyones face, the following facts..


On Jan 28th 2016 I created my immigration account with Australian


On Feb 26th 2016, I received an invitation to apply on Skill Select.


On Apr 20th 2016, I had posted my immigration application..


On Oct 7th 2016, I had couriered my FBI clearance application to the USA.


On Mar 7th 2016, I got my immigration grant notification.


Based on my ACS letter, it is clear that all I needed was 6 more months of experience to get a full PR. Therefore, I asked for a letter from Bosch management before end of september 2016. If I had got that letter, then even before the request for information came in from Australian Immigration, I would have directly applied for a full PR.

So the first argument in my accusation, still stands. Which is that I could not get full PR because of Bosch.

The second statement.

It should be crystal clear from the emails that I had informed Bosch about my interview. Having realised that the employment letter is not going to come had seriously affected my ability to respond to the selection criteria. This was because answers to the selection criteria were based off my experience in Bosch. How can I give those answers if the employment letter does not show up? Therefore I had to provide only a base version of my experience and not account for all the questions in the selection criteria. This formed the basis for my removal from consideration as per the feedback email.

Thank you.


As for the smirk on your face..


Its on mine now.


Teehee.
 
All the people who touch a woman are not men and All the people who touch a gun are not shooters

Now.

I just emailed my brother the core of the charity that I will be creating for the Mythili Initiative in Australia. I remember this one comment on my posts some time in the past.

It had said something like it would be good to talk about achievements once in a while.

Now, I dont know if I will achieve the creation of the charity. But I do know that I have taken the steps necessary for that. This was done not in a back alley in India wherefrom an armchair critic had posted a comment on my thread. This was done, right here, very much near the CBD at St.Kilda in Melbourne.

As for the title.. lets watch.. KGF (yup.. again..)

 
Mr VP Krishnan,

You have been writing here for a while. It is hard to process all the information and details and it is not because of lack of clarity in your writing.

Bottomline: Do you feel you are well now? Do you have a source of income to support yourself? Is there someone interested in marrying you as of now, if so when? Why not forget the past events and make a clean fresh start without the baggage of all the past memories? Past memories can only make you suffer.
 
Marriage..??

Kya Saab? Kahaan the aap aajkal.

Ennanga? enga irundheenga ithana naala??

Check this online wikipedia report and what it says..

Devyani Khobragade incident - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org

What the report does not clarify is.. why the diplomat had to be arrested in such a surreptitious manner and manhandled. Devyani was arrested when she was dropping off her child at school.. why deceit? why could they not arrest her in front of people. After her arrest, inspite of her noting that she has diplomatic immunity, she was strip searched and her anus was checked. They said its part of usual procedure.. is rectal search of diplomatic people that too a woman part of usual procedure? And when this was brought up, they said it was a Indian senior official who ordered it. The visa fraud case which was strung up aside.. just look at the manner things were handled.. do you really think its because of visa fraud?

I do know that you and your army of armchair critics will say.. there are people to take care of it or it will be taken care of.. But if everyone says that then who does take care of these things?

I am going to try and see what I can do.. they did what they did and said an indian authorized it.. I am going to create problems now.. and say .. what??

Its another matter that I am now suicidal and blabbering shit. But its just that I have done this every single time these idiots intruded and every time, I have come thru.. - forcing them to come back and try again. And I am pretty sure that before their next attempt, we will see a different reality..

As for the song this time around.. Main lad jaana.. from Uri The Surgical strike.

 

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