PS: This post is NOT applicable for people living overseas, since they have a different set of standards in raising kids !!
First off – Pl don’t listen to any of the wrong people & their wrong advise. All the advise, saying love your kids, don’t reprimand them, if love is strong it may come back blah blah blah crp crp crp.
In short: when it comes to lifestyle, marriage, parenting & food – just follow our south Indian tradition – be docile, soft, don’t be over ambitious etc.. similary on the food – just follow the ancient food habits – never deviate one bit unless advised by a Doctor, & similarly for marriage & for parenting.
A distraught father came to me one day & cried that his daughter (30 yrs) is refusing all alliances & he doesn’t know what to do. I told him –“Shevuta kati rande Kuduppa, everything will be alright….” Initially he was shocked, then he went and did as I told, gave a absolute dressing down to his daughter, & she got married in 45 days !, she said yes to the next alliance & now all are happy. Years of self created suffering was over in a matter of hours. Today he always to refers our discussion to all.
So when it comes to parenting, do exactly like out grand parents/parents did. Just forget the love shove crap, kids have to come up in discipline.
Infact I once met a 45+ yr old lady who is happily married. She comes from a very rich Iyengar family & when we were discussing similar issues, she told that her father went on a fast to force her to marry at 25 yrs. She was extremely unhappy when this happened & under pressure married the next alliance that came. Now after 20 yrs, she realized what a great gift her father did, many of her class mate friends are unmarried & suffering in life. Her husband turned out to be a great friend & supporter for her, to build her career & manage 3 kids.
See, all of you need to understand, kids unfortunately do not have the wisdom at that age, it comes from experience. If as parents people don’t advise their kids, then they will go astray !! that advise many times, will come only when you do a “Shevuta kati… dressing down”..
Similarly when it comes to marriage, go with the Jadgams where possible, go with arranged marriage instead of love/shove crp. These are tried & tested for 1000s of generations.
Similarly when it comes to food, conservative lifestyle.
One of the people I happened to know is a UP friend, he settled in south decades back & he did extremely well. He was very aggressive, bought 4 houses, 5 sites & huge mortgage & successfully paid off. He had 3 kids who were similarly very aggressive. He always used to tell me – you south Indians are very docile, soft, & you are losing out on life. I always used to say, maybe, but our south culture is the safest & culture always defines our decision, a aggressive culture will lead to aggressive behavior. We used to laugh over it & agreed to disagree.
Now fastforward - his first son was killed in a road accident, his second son was beaten on the road due to a silly fight & he died of sever injuries. His daughter is unmarried, a drunkard & is a full time alcoholic !! Once in a while he will come to meet me when I am in India. He will say – JK, I will give up everything for my kids to be alive & safe. I always remember our conservation – culture defines our decision & cries over it .
I can continue to write on many many such tragedies. Pl be aware of what will happen if you listen to the new age tid bit time passer comments.
First off – Pl don’t listen to any of the wrong people & their wrong advise. All the advise, saying love your kids, don’t reprimand them, if love is strong it may come back blah blah blah crp crp crp.
In short: when it comes to lifestyle, marriage, parenting & food – just follow our south Indian tradition – be docile, soft, don’t be over ambitious etc.. similary on the food – just follow the ancient food habits – never deviate one bit unless advised by a Doctor, & similarly for marriage & for parenting.
A distraught father came to me one day & cried that his daughter (30 yrs) is refusing all alliances & he doesn’t know what to do. I told him –“Shevuta kati rande Kuduppa, everything will be alright….” Initially he was shocked, then he went and did as I told, gave a absolute dressing down to his daughter, & she got married in 45 days !, she said yes to the next alliance & now all are happy. Years of self created suffering was over in a matter of hours. Today he always to refers our discussion to all.
So when it comes to parenting, do exactly like out grand parents/parents did. Just forget the love shove crap, kids have to come up in discipline.
Infact I once met a 45+ yr old lady who is happily married. She comes from a very rich Iyengar family & when we were discussing similar issues, she told that her father went on a fast to force her to marry at 25 yrs. She was extremely unhappy when this happened & under pressure married the next alliance that came. Now after 20 yrs, she realized what a great gift her father did, many of her class mate friends are unmarried & suffering in life. Her husband turned out to be a great friend & supporter for her, to build her career & manage 3 kids.
See, all of you need to understand, kids unfortunately do not have the wisdom at that age, it comes from experience. If as parents people don’t advise their kids, then they will go astray !! that advise many times, will come only when you do a “Shevuta kati… dressing down”..
Similarly when it comes to marriage, go with the Jadgams where possible, go with arranged marriage instead of love/shove crp. These are tried & tested for 1000s of generations.
Similarly when it comes to food, conservative lifestyle.
One of the people I happened to know is a UP friend, he settled in south decades back & he did extremely well. He was very aggressive, bought 4 houses, 5 sites & huge mortgage & successfully paid off. He had 3 kids who were similarly very aggressive. He always used to tell me – you south Indians are very docile, soft, & you are losing out on life. I always used to say, maybe, but our south culture is the safest & culture always defines our decision, a aggressive culture will lead to aggressive behavior. We used to laugh over it & agreed to disagree.
Now fastforward - his first son was killed in a road accident, his second son was beaten on the road due to a silly fight & he died of sever injuries. His daughter is unmarried, a drunkard & is a full time alcoholic !! Once in a while he will come to meet me when I am in India. He will say – JK, I will give up everything for my kids to be alive & safe. I always remember our conservation – culture defines our decision & cries over it .
I can continue to write on many many such tragedies. Pl be aware of what will happen if you listen to the new age tid bit time passer comments.
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