Suicide by Mahadevan, husband of singer Nityashree

[Visalakshi Ramani]

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Respected Madam VR,

Nalla oru kavithai. Facutal words. Whatever were good in the initial stages of married life slowly turned into reasons for turmoil and problems in life. This sort of situation prevails in very many houses. Career is important but at the same time a big question comes to mind that what is the use of such an important career when it has not given much needed peace of mind for the persons. I am not writing this specific to this news but in general.

Very glad to know that a good poet is a member in this forum and request you to continue with such good tamil Kavithigal and post the same in this forum.

Venkat K

Dear sir,

You seem to like Tamil poetry.

Please Visit these sites for more of my poems

and the English translation of those poems.

எண்ணங்களின் வண்ணக் கலவை |

A rainbow of thoughts relating Mankind to God and the World.

Thiruvilaiyadalgal

Kandapuraanam

 

[renuka]

.NOBODY HAS HAPPY REALLY IN THIS WORLD..

Dear TBS Garu,

You are right. No one in this world is 100% happy.

But not everyone of us is depressed.

Sorrow is absence of happiness but it need not be pathological.

Clinical Depression is a mood disorder when the feeling of sadness is prolonged and interferes with normal functioning of life.

Exact cause is sometimes hard to pin point..... causative factors can range from chemical imbalance/changes in the brain,genetics,exposure to stressful events or a cocktail of everything.


Yes I did mention in my earlier post that Arjuna had Lord Krishna to help him out of depression.

The difference is God does not judge anyone but only renders help..we humans tend to judge everyone and worst still many people even harshly treat people who are going through a bad phase in their lives and add fuel to fire.

That is the reason why it is hard to treat depression.

Work performance is affected and co- workers and even employer will view a depressed person differently.

Friends and relatives will call a depressed person weak/coward etc.

We Hindus are not very good at helping the depressed.

Most Churches these days employ pastors who have a degree in psychology to counsel and help the depressed individual who turn up to church.

We Hindus will only blame everything on some planet etc and if person dies..we will say 'O it was his/her Karma etc..aiyoo what will happen to his family now"

We are only good for lamenting but not taking remedial steps to treat any condition.

Fear still rules the Hindu mind...fear of what people will think sometimes only spells death.

It's high time we get rid of that mind set of fear in us and arise after all Lord Krishna did say:

kshudram hrudaya daurbhalyam thykthothishta.


That line was not only for Arjuna but for the rest of the world too.

 

[Raji Ram]

..... As the Latin saying "De mortuis nihil nisi bonum" “Of the dead, say nothing unless good”. .....

Dear Brahmanyan Sir,

Thank you very much for your reply. The Latin saying should be followed by us.

 

[mkrishna100]

Depression is most commonly over looked in our Indian society.
It is often just thought as a temporary phase and the person is always kind of looked down upon as weak etc.

Depression is an illness that needs careful monitoring,psychotherapy and also medication.

People generally have less sympathy for a depressed person.

Its like this..a person with Cancer is often viewed with sympathy cos of the impending death that sometimes follows.

Depression is Cancer of the mind...death usually follows if not promptly treated.

Spot on Renukaji .

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Dear Mrs Raji Ram,

I agree fully with your wise advise. Let us understand the pain of separation and not comment further on
the reasons. As the Latin saying "De mortuis nihil nisi bonum" “Of the dead, say nothing unless good”.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

How nice it would be, if it were possible
to extend this, to include this clause too!
“Of the living, say nothing unless good”.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Depression zeros in on the introverts
who would share neither their happiness
nor their sorrows with the others.

Human happiness and sorrows obey
very strange laws of mathematics.

When a joy is shared it multiplies - instead of decreasing!!!

When a sorrow is shared it - decreases instead of increasing!!!

Human life is to complicated to be borne alone - all by oneself.

That is why marriage can never disappear from our lives even
if it takes newer forms like the living in relationships!!!

Caring and Sharing make our lives worth living.

 

[renuka]

How nice it would be, if it were possible
to extend this, to include this clause too!
“Of the living, say nothing unless good”.

LOL! That means it can not be Satyam Vada anymore!

 

[renuka]

Originally Posted by Brahmanyan
..... As the Latin saying "De mortuis nihil nisi bonum" “Of the dead, say nothing unless good”. .....

Becos the living TAUNT and the dead HAUNT!

 

[amala]

There is a similar English saying to the Latin De mortuis nihil nisi bonum.

'Don't speak ill of the dead'.

 

[Raji Ram]

......... Caring and Sharing make our lives worth living.

Dear Sis,

You missed the main point - fighting, which adds pep to life! :thumb:

 

[Raji Ram]

Becos the living TAUNT and the dead HAUNT!

Dear Renu,
Should we say, 'Because the living ONLY taunt but the dead WILL haunt! :fear:

 

[sangom]

I feel definitely sad at the suicide of Shri Mahadevan. Newspaper here reports that the reason for this extreme step was "family matters". Contrary to the general opinion expressed here, I feel it will be useful to get the facts as near to truth as possible so that we will come to know what types of problems haunt (not "taunt") persons like Mahadevan who, it seems, was a mere househusband at the time of his death and had to take care of the children almost throughout the day. But I agree we should not go on discussing fruitlessly based on hearsay.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

LOL! That means it can not be Satyam Vada anymore!

dear Renu,

As you can see it is a hypothetical situation,

almost impossible except in our imagination.

It follows the second statement give below.

Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat
na bruyat satyam apriyam
priyam cha nanrutam bruyat
esha dharmah sanatanah

Only speak the truth that is pleasant to others
Do no speak the truth that might be unpleasant to others
Never speak untruth that is pleasant to others
This is the path of the eternal morality called Sanatana Dharma

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Dear Sis,

You missed the main point - fighting, which adds pep to life! :thumb:

May be! But it should be like the piece of pickles we eat with our food

and not become the main course of our meal!

Any one can imagine the consequence of feasting on a plateful of spicy pickles! :scared:

But loving and caring should be the tasty and nourishing main courses of our lives.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

When a man is identified by his famous wife,

when he basks in the borrowed glory of his wife,

he has to make some adjustment and compromises

for living happily and peacefully without ego struggle.

Otherwise he should marry an ordinary girl

who is willing to share his glory-if he has any!

 

[Raji Ram]

....... But I agree we should not go on discussing fruitlessly based on hearsay.

Dear Sir,

Every family has one problem or the other. It is enough to show our heartfelt sympathy to Smt. Nithyasree and pray for her

recovery from this shock. Let us hope that she will continue her journey in the music field soon and enthrall her audience.

 

[renuka]

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They take turns meeting at each other's homes. First, refreshments must be served, that is the one strict rule. There is no need for further agenda, as conversations, testimonials, outpourings and sharing of all kinds take off spontaneously. Sometimes, someone reads from a holy text, usually Hinduism Today or another Himalayan Academy publication. Then comments, questions and discussion follow.
"The best part," explains one member, "is that we all feel at ease. We share our enthusiasm, our realization—or questions, doubts or even personal problems, sometimes. In fact, difficulties have led us to really nice discoveries. One day, someone shared his pain at being out of work. We discussed it, offered suggestions, nothing earthshaking. But soon thereafter, he did find a job, and a good one. We all felt overjoyed, feeling our focus had helped open the door."

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[ozone]

Instead of discussing the reasons (not speculating) that could have pushed him to this extreme step, I see everyone rushing to console NSM and empathising. I am not saying this is not needed.
Were this to be a suicide of a women, the discussion would all be about the women and the causes that lead to it.
This site is no different in that aspect.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Instead of discussing the reasons (not speculating) that could have pushed him to this extreme step, I see everyone rushing to console NSM and empathising. I am not saying this is not needed.
Were this to be a suicide of a women, the discussion would all be about the women and the causes that lead to it.
This site is no different in that aspect.

Proves beyond doubts that
whether the victim or the victor,
woman would be discussed about and
dissected by the general public.

 

[renuka]

Instead of discussing the reasons (not speculating) that could have pushed him to this extreme step, I see everyone rushing to console NSM and empathising. I am not saying this is not needed.
Were this to be a suicide of a women, the discussion would all be about the women and the causes that lead to it.
This site is no different in that aspect.

There is no harm having compassion.

No one is blaming anyone or supporting anyone here.

Mr Mahadevan,Nithya and their kids are victims here.

Suicide is a drastic step that still brings tears to people's eyes.

One of the reason I did not watch the movie Dirty Picture becos I thought it was disrespectful to make a movie about a person who had committed suicide.

To me I feel the movie disrespected Silk Smitha.

We have to respect the privacy of a dead person.

So any suicide is painful to read..most of us in forum are not playing the blame game here.

BTW reasons for his extreme step is not really known but speculation has been done.
Read some posts.

I have noticed that news from Indian channels show victims of accidents lying dead on the road with grievous injuries...not even blanked out.

Total lack of respect for dead people.

The dead are also entitled to privacy.

Most other countries news blank out the injury visuals or issue a warning saying "scenes are graphic and disturbing in nature..viewer discretion advised"

It's high time mindset is changed.

 

[tbs]

hi
i personally feel 2 things now a days .....especially in ******* families....1 divorce 2 suicides...these are the byproducts of so

called developments in material world....these 2 are unavoidable....we can hear more like this....side effects of western culture....

western countries these 2 things very common...not a big deal.....but our developments also the same....if we want develop

like western nations...then we have expect these things in a day to day manner...only gun culture is not much in in india as USA....

becoz we dont have like 2nd ammendment...

 

[renuka]

...only gun culture is not much in in india as USA....

Dear TBS Garu,

It is becos it is not so easy to get a gun licence in India.
I know a friend of mine from India who wanted to get his father's gun licence transferred to his name and it involves tooooooooooo many steps and take too long and officers will be expecting bribes etc.

BTW when I was in college the nearby engineering college used to have Bihari students who carried home made guns too!LOL
Some have even shot each other in gang wars and one guys leg had to be amputated becos of bullet wound infection.

So gun culture like Hunters of Wasseypur is still very much around!

 

[mkrishna100]

only gun culture is not much in in india as USA....

Within the next decade you can see this becoming common . With More Gun fights being visible in Tamil Movies , as well as violent Video Games showing Gun fights , young people will have a fascination for Guns and who bothers about license , Rich guys can always buy it from Black Market and not so rich guys can buy cheaper home made guns from Bihari Gangs .

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear Sir,

Every family has one problem or the other. It is enough to show our heartfelt sympathy to Smt. Nithyasree and pray for her

recovery from this shock. Let us hope that she will continue her journey in the music field soon and enthrall her audience.

Dear Raji Ram,

True words. All families have problems on some matter or other between the husband and wife. Some get sorted out and others get aggravated due to outside interference. But It is none of the concern of others to gossip after the same. It is better to leave the matter to be sorted out by the families themselves, if we can't help them.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

This IS the time when Smt. Nithyasree needs support. Even if tears don't appear in the eyes of a few people,

at least they can let others console her! We do not have any right to do the 'postmortem' again! :nono: