Brahmin Girls Marrying (Attracted towards) NB Boys

[sriniranga]

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Where is our culture, our elder generations strightly follow that culture and hand over to US. leave that gauvaram and all. it the basic sense that we need to follow our culture. U Know maximum of the Muslims are following their culture they are doing 5 days in ramzon and strightly follow the viradam not taking even single drop of water before 6 PM.
Western is good place to stay worst place to live, why 40 year's old couple are moving to India and living here with their kids. u know why there kids should not adopt western culture or grown up in western culture. I know one of my Iyengar friend married Mexican American ,are you think there parents provde about their saying that my son married one American girl and settled in us, both happned in my family itself Marriage and moved to India with their kids
One of my friend married tamil Iyer girl and promissed before marriage that i never take Non-Veg,Drinks,Cigreet. But he is taking it when he is with the friend. do you never feel that our bramin girl cheated by the promisses. i know our bramin guyes are doing the same taking non veg currently, ciggret, drinks and even going for Girls too This they should have to think about our values and stop it. There are more Non Bramins stopped all these things because they want to fine tune them self between animal and human being
Leave all these things. What will happen to our culture, Christians, muslims and others are practising their culture strightly, but why we need to lose our culture. currently we lost 50% of our culture by saying open minded.

srini,

as i understand your post, i think, what you mean is a society mindset.

i agree with your baseline assumption - intercaste weddings in india may run into rough weather, based mostly on society gauravam and rigidity of social/religious practices.

in that context, i have always advocated that inter caste married couples move to the west, if possible.

the same goes for inter religion, though inter religion may not have so much conflicts, as one partner, under indian conditions, totally renounces his/her hitherto background. this is from what i have seen.

back to the mindset issue re gauravam and society reputation.

personally, i think these are phantoms that we build on ourselves.

young couples who took the plunge, somewhere along the line, are unable to withstand the onslaught of parental or society pressures, and succumb to the inevitable sorrow or split.

i think it is the fault of parents, who all along, perhaps even unknowingly, work to sabotage the marriage. i think, many a times the couple is not given a fair chance to succeed.

what is a fair chance? just leave them alone, to adjust and build a household. constant interference and advice are like needles pricking an open wound. nobody needs that.

even in same caste marriages, such advice is unwelcome. except, in this case, the parental pride is swallowed and withers into bitterness over time. only because, most same caste marriages are arranged by the parents, and they cannot admit a mistake.

personally, if i were in india, i would tell my children that should they chose their spouses out of caste, to go and seek a livelihood in the west, where living for such couples is easier.

if they have to remain in india, i would tell them to atleast move far away from where the parents stay and build a quiter life in a new city.

thank you.

 

[RVR]

Culture Dilution

Where is our culture, our elder generations strightly follow that culture and hand over to US. leave that gauvaram and all. it the basic sense that we need to follow our culture. U Know maximum of the Muslims are following their culture they are doing 5 days in ramzon and strightly follow the viradam not taking even single drop of water before 6 PM.
Western is good place to stay worst place to live, why 40 year's old couple are moving to India and living here with their kids. u know why there kids should not adopt western culture or grown up in western culture. I know one of my Iyengar friend married Mexican American ,are you think there parents provde about their saying that my son married one American girl and settled in us, both happned in my family itself Marriage and moved to India with their kids
One of my friend married tamil Iyer girl and promissed before marriage that i never take Non-Veg,Drinks,Cigreet. But he is taking it when he is with the friend. do you never feel that our bramin girl cheated by the promisses. i know our bramin guyes are doing the same taking non veg currently, ciggret, drinks and even going for Girls too This they should have to think about our values and stop it. There are more Non Bramins stopped all these things because they want to fine tune them self between animal and human being
Leave all these things. What will happen to our culture, Christians, muslims and others are practising their culture strightly, but why we need to lose our culture. currently we lost 50% of our culture by saying open minded.

In the western world, church has lost all the controls. I have seen personally in Germany where no body goes to the church on Sundays. When I asked one of my friend, he asked me back, Why should I go to Church?

My elder son is in gulf and he says Muslim women are totally unhappy with the muslim customs. There is a fear among the men folk that their ladies may jump out of their religion even if they get slightest chance.

This is a global problem for all the religions. You are right we have given up lot of our daily routines as per our customs. My father gave up Panchakacham and Kudimi which was practiced by my grandfather. My father was doing Sandhyavandhanam daily without fail which I have given up. My children will dilute further.

It is high time our Acharyas suggest a new set of procedures which can be followed by all of us under the present circumstances.

 

[uksharma3]

I want to share my own experience regarding brahmin girls marrying NB and vice versa. I am looking for a bride to my son. I have posted his profile in the prominent matrimonial sites. During the last 3-4 weeks I have spoken with several parents of girls.
I am really sorry to say that the main question almost all of them asked was what is the income of my son. In the beginning I told the answer, but now when they ask the question I tell them that he earns enough to run a family and that's why he is seeking a bride.
It is very sad indeed, from my experience, now most of the Brahmin community is after money. Gone are the days of family values. There is an old saying "Never ask a man's wage and a woman's age".
Now many Brahmin girls are well employed and earn lot of money than actually a person needs. One of my friends told me that this is a reason for increase in divorce. It seems the western culture has gripped the Brahmin community than any others. Now the western influence has enslaved our people more than when actually the country was ruled by western powers.
I am now seriously considering to look for a non-brahmin girl and my son also agrees.
Incidentally, I got a call about one week back from an adi-dravda father. I spoke with him for about 5 minutes but he never asked how much my son is earning. Unfortunately, the girl is non-veg so I had to forget about it.

 

[uksharma3]

I have seen in newspapers some Brahmin parents proudly says their son married an American girl, British girl, German girl etc. Even White people had system of caste (not like ours). I have a friend in UK who is an engineer now. His family name is Townsend. He told me that name was given to his family because they lived in the Town's End as they were doing the dirty works like scavenging. This man has married a woman who is from the Potter community (who made clay pots in the past). Even though it looks on the surface that the white people have no difference among them, when it comes to family matters, still they consider their original community. May be not the younger generation.
Will these Brahmin parents accept if their son marry an African girl, even an African-American one?

 

[pannvalan]

Gone are the days of a male marrying a female. For the past 20 years or so, marriage has been between girl's education, employment and family status with that of the boy's.

So, money matters much and people do not think twice before asking questions on income, wealth and family connections, from both sides. The other side also takes the questions without much fuss and pretension.

In this process, the character, ideals and values are the casualty. Then, the incidence of divorce on flimsy grounds at a later stage of the wedded life does not surprise people like me.

But, despising this practice, wantonly searching for a bride from other communities, especially adi dravidar is like cutting the nose to spite the face.

 

[silverfox]

We are racists, too!

Good one, uksharma!
Yes, these very same people who proudly claim that their son/daughter married a white person, will not, I repeat, will not have anything to do with it if it came to a black/Afro-American!! Forget the blacks! Do you see all those matrimonials where these people stress on skin color being 'fair'!! So... in essence, for all our bragging about being humanistic, we all are racists in our hearts!!

I have seen in newspapers some Brahmin parents proudly says their son married an American girl, British girl, German girl etc. Even White people had system of caste (not like ours). I have a friend in UK who is an engineer now. His family name is Townsend. He told me that name was given to his family because they lived in the Town's End as they were doing the dirty works like scavenging. This man has married a woman who is from the Potter community (who made clay pots in the past). Even though it looks on the surface that the white people have no difference among them, when it comes to family matters, still they consider their original community. May be not the younger generation.
Will these Brahmin parents accept if their son marry an African girl, even an African-American one?

 

[drsundaram]

dear uksharma3ji,
It is unfortunate that non brahmins respect brahmins but brahmins to brahmins the weightage is given to other factors and not to the main "oneness". I don't know what will be in store in future.

 

[PANCHANATHAM CHANDRASEKAR]

I totally concur with the views/replies that has been prevalent in our community. The other side of my own friend's experience is that his daughter(a tamil brahmin culturally wedded family) is married to a NB boy. Initially she was happy. Later on she was tortured like anything compelling her to prepare NV food. The boy later had an affair with his sister's daughter and led a separate life. Can a brahmin family face this challenge before a NB family. Their family members openly commented us that "Pappan family" spoiled their son's future and threatened them with dire consequence. The girl's parents have become sick and one of them died. Now the girl repents for her action. We the parents of our community should preach the budding girl child from the beginning on the negative side of the marriage to a NB. As one of the respondents pointed out, that our brahmin families are mainly running after money (of course to run a family this is needed but to some extent) not realizing the character of the boy and the family status. They should alsochange.
GOD BLESS OUR COMMUNITY

 

[pannvalan]

Dear Panchanatham Chandrasekar,

I have also seen some girls from our community getting married to well-educated and decently employed boys from other communities. But, in their cases too, the husband forced his wife to cook NV, to serve liquor to him and his friends and yet developed extra-marital affair, with impunity. Unfortunately, there was none to defend the girls'
interests and afford them physical safety and protection. This has further emboldened the rogue husbands to indulge in more harassment and physical torture too.

I am of the opinion that there is a growing fancy amongst NBs and also muslims to marry a brahmin girl only to ditch her at the end. Parents of such boys also tacitly encourage this and close their mouth and eyes while witnessing all the sufferings of the girls right in their presence later.

 

[pannvalan]

If we analyze the family background and psyche of the brahmin girls marrying boys of other communities, following points emerge.

1. The girl's parents are not showing enough interest in marrying her off to a boy of
her liking (not necessarily a case of love/romance).

2. The girl by nature is a rebel and does not like the superstitions, so many rituals
and family/societal controls which she considers as restricting her freedom of
choice, takes pride in telling others that she could break the shackles of caste
etc.

3. The girl's marriage is getting delayed due to several inexplicable reasons and she
turns desperate and wants to somehow marry someone, even if that 'someone'
is not well known to her.

4. The girl falling in love with a boy of her age, working in the same institution where
she also works and who occasionally helps her on some simple matters which
tempts her to form a false opinion about the boy's whole persona.

5. Miscalculation made basing on economic factors alone.

6. Mere infatuation.

 

[KRS]

I have been advocating a community sponsored, supervised 'meeting' place in all cities/towns were we have a sizeable population. This is one way to ward off our children 'falling in love' with boys/girls outside our community. The Jewish community has done this in the US, where JCCs are everywhere where specific social activities where boys and girls mingle under supervision are structured.

If our children graduate and then work in jobs that ask for close comingling with the opposite gender, given the harmonal impact, sparks will fly. This can not be avoided. Given that most of us raise our children to think independently, it we suddenly try to control, other adverse results will follow.

My two cents.

Regards,
KRS

 

[kunjuppu]

krs,

i heard that 1 in 3 jews marry outside the community. i am aware that this is a concern for many jews, but i am not so sure if anything could be done about it.

we increasingly, are in a multicultural society, whether it be north america or india ie intermingling on a level very closely, across antecedents defined by birth and class.

love between two people is a complex phenomenon which defines rationality.

personally, i think, it may be useful to tell our kids, right at the beginning, some of our misgivings, and reasons for doing so.

we cannot be putting too long a list for it is bound to be ignored. maybe three or four key parameters as musts, and a few would likes.

i see some of the posts, re strong sentiments against intermingling. i too have relatives in my family with similar sentiments, who go to cruel extents to villify such of the younger generation who opt out of the community.

also, they tend to mock the parents of children who married across caste, re such acts result in apparent loss of maanam or self respect. we can be very cruel to our own kind.

i do not bother to utter any of my thoughts to these kind of folks, but their bigotry is no less than the rednecks of the old american south.

also, with such attitudes, they are probably setting themselves for sorrows, which they bring upon themselves, as the youth seldom relents when it comes to the matters of the heart.

 

[amala]

I think the community sponsored meeting place for young adults of marriageable age is a brilliant idea. But I'm not sure how this would work in the say the UK where I am, because eligible Iyer 'boys' are practically negligible.

As I was saying in an earlier thread, the Tamil film industry has a lot to answer for as far as romanticising TB/NB relationships.

 

[kunjuppu]

i appreciate the source of the sentiments of uks, pann, panch, drs and krs. that is one advantage of having the same background.

i have similar scenes played out several times when i was growing up. except, we were on the end that received the shaft ie the girls' side with no money - double whammy of whammies.

after is not our tradition அஞ்சு பொண்ணை பெத்தால் அரசன் கூட ஆண்டி ஆவான்

i understand the underlying tones of frustration, anger, indignation and above all a sense of loss, for as parents of youngsters in lookout for wives, there are coming up with stonewalls, which they did not anticipate.

what, they had imagined, was a jolly adventurous time, picking out some eligible belles from a bevy of applications, processing their suitabilities over a service of bajji/sojji and holding everyone on the girl's side with suspense akin to oscars (or nobel - take your pick), open the envelope and announce the grateful winner.

now, this process has become a nightmare - we see youngsters in their thirties, whose wards, we as parents, assumed the responsibility of finding a good wife, a good daughter-in-law with somewhat of a fond hope of good caregiving in our sunset years, and above all, a chance to play a star role in a public function, at the expense of someone else...none of which appears to be fructifying.

all of the above are not unlike the proverbial castles in the air whose combined dash leaves us with a feeling expressed in the notes of panch and countless fathers of young marriage age brahmin boys.

i am not so sure about pann's analysis of the situation. to sum up, the way i understand the gist of it, and i may be reading it wrong or marginally wrong...

- that our girls are 'airheads' entering into marriage arrangement with NB boys for it appears to be a one way street into unhappiness.

i wish to counter that by saying i know of TB girls delirously happy by marrying across caste/religion, treated as princesses there and would not even think of returning back one second to a formula marriage prescribed by parents.

for every bad marriage there may be an unhappy one. whether it be within the caste or without.

i think there is a great level of wishful thinking about 'family support' for a troubled marriage.

i have come across a few in my family, and what i have found, is that 'family support' translates as 'making the girl see sense' - ie put up with demanding in-laws, a**-***e of an husband and learn to live with abuse, in the hope that things will get better.

the sad fact, is that the children too, very soon get into the mood of treating mother like s**t. these are from family experiences of mine.

ofcourse, there are equal number of happy incidents or perhaps more happy couples. probably many more happy couples within the community. but i think, we have an almost equal number of happy children married across communities.

i think, while community may be a factor, marriage is basically a lottery and it is the luck of the draw. we never fully know whom we marry. or whose family we marry.

all research comes to nought, when we are exposed to the naked truths of untruths, secrets, lies and warts, discovered layer by layer, over months after a marriage. it happens on both sides.

so, any research, is only good to an initial first impression. the only exception, are those families whom we grew up with and with whom, we hardly have any secrets.

pann, i do not think, you do justice to our girls, in your analysis of why they wish to marry non TB boys. it is our daughters that you are talking of. i think, we bring them up to be much more accomplished than the marks that you gave them.

i agree, pann, that this may be the marks of wishful thinking with a dash of disappointment and dismay thrown in.

i can see what we all wish for: educated, highly accomplished girls, religious, earning a fat salary which will now be a source of income for the boys' family, be a care giver to the inlaws, service the husband, be a good mother and above all completely assume the personality of the boys' family.

those are what bollywood and kollywood made of.

also, i do not understand amala's statement re the Tamil film industry has a lot to answer for as far as romanticising TB/NB relationships.

i read a sense that it is a crime for boys from other castes to cast their eyes on our girls. that our girls are innocent victims of diabolical plot to snatch those sweet smelling roses into the arms of monkeys not much unlike those proverbial கொரங்குஸ் snatching our பூமாலைஸ்.

this above, i interpret as plain arrogance, an attitude which has caused us more issues than anything else.

it is not the attitude of our distant forebears. this, i think, came out of the sudden burst of prosperity starting at the dawn of the 20th century.

each time, i read the angst of the boys, i see yet another perspective of a person, caught in a paradigm, unable to extricate himself, and in the end blaming the community values for his misery.

i understand the sorrow. but i do not have sympathies for the handwringing blame throwing whining adult. i would suggest, they take charge, and evaluate what is important - a married son or a frustrated bachelor taking control of his own life. heaven forbid, if he comes home with a muslim or a christian bride (!)

there are solutions. but the solutions demand that he look at the world with a different set of glasses.

uksharma has, i think, thought one way to solve this problem. i have always felt that mudaliars, pillais are very close to us in lifestyles, values and incidentally also bearing the cross of 'forward caste'.

they are mostly vegetarians and it might be worthwhile to look outside our castes and bring them to our fold.

the fact is that we are widely dispersed and also stable in our numbers.

best wishes to uksharma for his endeavour. personally, if i were in such a position, i would be more anxious than ever, to find a wife, regardless of caste, but a gem in her own right, for his ageing son... for which girl would want to marry a 40 year old?

thank you.

 

[RVR]

swaminatha sharma ji,

Good work,

Good article,

Please keep it up

All the best

 

[pannvalan]

Dear Kunjuppu,

I am the last person to perpetuate casteism. But, at the same time, I am very sensible to the fact that castes cannot be abolished in a foreseeable time horizon, say the next 100 years. That apart, I am proud of many traditions and practices we Tamil Brahmins have been following for ages. I do not think I am narrow or racist in my outlook. I have close friends from different castes, speaking different languages and following different religions too. Notwithstanding, I am of the firm conviction that by establishing marital ties within our community, I cannot be labelled racist or prejudiced against other communities.

Friendship or other kind of working relationship is certainly very different from the marital bond for life. I do not want to mix both, only to earn good name and reputation amongst all classes. As long as I respect others belonging to other castes/religions, as long as I do not criticise their customs and practices, as long as I don't interfere in their personal life, as long as I do not condemn them basing on the attributes what they acquire by birth, with no choice of theirs, I am considered a fair and good person by them.

I am under no compulsion to demonstrate my non-discriminatory attitude only by establishing ties with them, through the marriages of my daughters or sons with the wards from their families. This is a wrong argument and an unfair expectation.

I also agree that Tamil cinema has a fair measure of blame to be taken for highlighting the love between a (Tamil) brahmin girl with a boy from a different community. This has certainly poisoned the minds of our youngsters. I am aware of the power and reach of the cinema and TV and even well-educated people are very easily influenced by these media.

Finally, God doesn't mandate that every youth should necessarily fall in love lest they will be damned. It is a wrong notion or idea that has unknowingly crept into the minds of most of the youngsters of the present generation. I do not know much about the youth of other nations/societies.

 

[uksharma3]

Good Analysis

If we analyze the family background and psyche of the brahmin girls marrying boys of other communities, following points emerge.

1. The girl's parents are not showing enough interest in marrying her off to a boy of
her liking (not necessarily a case of love/romance).
....

Pannvalan Sir,
You have very correctly analyzed the situation.
I want to indulge a bit further into my personal experience.
One day I spoke with the mother of a girl about alliance. The girl is 31 years old and still not married. During the talk I was able to guess the reason why the parents could not find a groom for her. Yes, your guess is good as mine!
My younger brother married in 1974. His FIL has 7 daughters and only 1 son. FIL was working as cashier in a commercial establishment and he did not have much property also. My bro married the eldest daughter. FIL gave 2000 rupees as dowry. At that time, my brother worked in the same commercial store as accounts clerk. However, within 1 year my brother got a lucrative bank job. Now he is retired and enjoying a luxury life abroad. His FIL married all the girls to boys who were in lower positions - one boy was unemployed. I asked him why he is marrying his daughter to an unemployed boy. He said, once the boy gets married he should/would find some way to run the family. That man's words were prophetic. Now all the 7 girls families are doing well, have children and grand children also.
According to present economy, if a boy or girl is employed and earns about 20000 p.m., it is quite enough for a true Brahmin family. But, in case of boys, even if the boy earns 50000/m, his parents expect the girl also to be employed and in the case of girls if the girl earns 30000/m, her parents wants a boy who earns 70000 or more.
I really cannot understand what the young family would do with 1 lac income per month. Will any other thing needed to corrupt the young Brahmin family?
These are things that we have to think about if we want to preserve our own culture and family values.
May be we can extend the purpose of this website by beginning an awareness campaign.

 

[pbkhema]

The phenomenon is becoming more rampant.The girls are getting well educated.They are independant and they think for themselves,But in my view the mistake lies partly on the side of the parents too.They are busy with their on llives and they do not spare a thought for their daughters marraige.Thinking "innu konja naal polam"By that time the girls choose their husband.I have personaly seen that happen in 2 families who are our family friends

 

[silverfox]

My exact sentiments!

Dear Pannvalan:
Excellent views; I couldn't have said it better.

Dear Kunjuppu,

I am the last person to perpetuate casteism. But, at the same time, I am very sensible to the fact that castes cannot be abolished in a foreseeable time horizon, say the next 100 years. That apart, I am proud of many traditions and practices we Tamil Brahmins have been following for ages. I do not think I am narrow or racist in my outlook. I have close friends from different castes, speaking different languages and following different religions too. Notwithstanding, I am of the firm conviction that by establishing marital ties within our community, I cannot be labelled racist or prejudiced against other communities.

Friendship or other kind of working relationship is certainly very different from the marital bond for life. I do not want to mix both, only to earn good name and reputation amongst all classes. As long as I respect others belonging to other castes/religions, as long as I do not criticise their customs and practices, as long as I don't interfere in their personal life, as long as I do not condemn them basing on the attributes what they acquire by birth, with no choice of theirs, I am considered a fair and good person by them.

I am under no compulsion to demonstrate my non-discriminatory attitude only by establishing ties with them, through the marriages of my daughters or sons with the wards from their families. This is a wrong argument and an unfair expectation.

I also agree that Tamil cinema has a fair measure of blame to be taken for highlighting the love between a (Tamil) brahmin girl with a boy from a different community. This has certainly poisoned the minds of our youngsters. I am aware of the power and reach of the cinema and TV and even well-educated people are very easily influenced by these media.

Finally, God doesn't mandate that every youth should necessarily fall in love lest they will be damned. It is a wrong notion or idea that has unknowingly crept into the minds of most of the youngsters of the present generation. I do not know much about the youth of other nations/societies.

 

[pannvalan]

Tamil Brahmin girls marrying NB boys

Thank you, Silverfox.

Why we are unable to see you nowadays, as frequently as you had been visiting the site before?

 

[kunjuppu]

pann,

if you read through my post, i think you will find we are both complementary in views.

i have no way indicated that all TB should marry out of caste. it is a very personal thing.

my post was based on the current predicament of boys families. it is not without sympathy. but i have put it in a historical perspective.

believe it or not, i agree with swami, that we are reaping today what we sowed years ago - i think practising family planning.

we simply do not have the numbers to choose reasonable partners.

this is not going to change as our numbers are steady, but moving widely across the globe, thus further limiting choices and access to choices.

at the end of the day, people like uksharma are still left holding the empty bag. i do not envy his position.

over here in the forum, there has been discussion as to resolutions.

swami himself is thinking out of the box, as is evidenced by his willingness at all to consider outside the caste.

i think, once again, as TB community, we are very adept in dealing with our own family situation and coming up with solutions. maybe the next adi dravidar girl will be more compatible. who knows?

such as those of us who are not faced with such complex immedate family wrenching issues, can take a relaxed back seat approach and pen ideas at our leisure.

but for those boys' parents, whose clock is ticking steadily in years from 29 to 30 to 35, this is disaster.

i wish uksharma all the best.

thank you.

 

[pannvalan]

Dear Kunjuppu,

Consider my experience. Three of my wife's 'chiththis' are married to Iyengar men.
One of my close relatives is married in a Telugu brahmin family from A.P. Another one married a U.P. boy. Another married a Gujarati. Another one married a Mudaliar boy. Days are not far off, even having foreign sons-in-law may be very common.

I do not buy the argument that girls are less in number than the boys. There is a marked difference. Girls today have better say in their marriage matters and they have started asserting themselves, much to the chagrin of the elders in the family.
This is the real reason for girls or their parents filtering or even rejecting good number of cases, who are ideal matches for the girls in question.

 

[silverfox]

I am back!!

Dear Pannvalan:
I am sorry I have been away due to business/personal reasons. But I am back!! Thank you! It is nice to be wanted!
If you may remember, until last year, I was busy trying to establish a trust for tamilbrahmins.com but with so many obstacles it didn't materialize. With the help of friends like you, we will try again this time.

Thank you, Silverfox.

Why we are unable to see you nowadays, as frequently as you had been visiting the site before?

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Kunjuppu,

.
I do not buy the argument that girls are less in number than the boys. There is a marked difference. Girls today have better say in their marriage matters and they have started asserting themselves, much to the chagrin of the elders in the family.
This is the real reason for girls or their parents filtering or even rejecting good number of cases, who are ideal matches for the girls in question.

... good point pann. i tend to go along with this, as one more reason, why there appears to be dearths of available girls for our boys.

it may not be the only one.

i think, as a population, we are skewed in favour of the males. please remember even a 1% difference makes a lot of difference, because we are looking at critical age group 25 to 30.

also, perhaps, girls' parents are also of a tougher calibre than their counterparts of yore.

all in all, the emancipation of girls in our mentality, has produced some interesting side effects, which we probably did not anticipate.

undoubtedly, it was the right thing, to treat our girls the same as boys. as a community, we have changed totally in this attitude.

i always feel positive of the future, and shed no tears for 'good ole days'. to me, it is a figment of imagination, clouded with fading memories and forgotten agonies.

thank you.

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

Our community generally had accepted girls' education and supported it even from earlier than Indian society in general. Freedom granted to girls in good faith.
Then as the total population is very less, each case will appear magnified.

And above all, there is no umbrella community watchdog(moderator of behaviour).

Compared to our community, inter faith marriage by girls from other communities appear lesser in percntage -not in absolute numbers-.due to the umbrella community supervision-visible or invisible. And many times if it occurs conversion happens in that faith's favour.