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Brahmin Girls Marrying (Attracted towards) NB Boys

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Somayaji

>>I am really worried.whether I am in a Real or Virtual Tamil Brahmin forum--& is it worthwhile to continue--are we going to discuss Tamil Brahmins' issues or dissipate our energies in Jalpam and Vidhanta.<<

Non-brahmins means,what?Other than Brahmins.That is the title of the thread.So,naturally one should discuss,Tamil Brahmin Versus Non-Brahmins.That is what i am doing.I may be un-popular,becoz of my direct way of writing and putting things very very bluntly.By nature,i am like that.Plz understand,its not jalpam nor vithandam nor unnecessaary bhedam!!

sb:)
 
Dear all,
Whether it is Brahmin girl marrying a NB boy or a Brahmin boy marrying a NB girl, both are equally not good for the community. Let us not discuss whether boy is superior than girl and vice versa. Our main interest is to preserve our tradition without any compromise at the same time without affecting others sentiments. We can't avoid sending our children to schools and universities or for employement where the mingling with the other sex is not there. In the present world we need to accept this and impart moral education to our own children and explain to them about the good and bad. Let the parents be an example, get involved more in religious activities by which automatically the children also follow the good path.
Namaskars.
 
Rules,Regulation,Traditions....etc are all subjected to review and changes.It should be dynamic not static..thats what life is all about..every generation goes thru these cycles of apparent change...but its always old wine in new bottle...

sb
 
s007bala said:
Rules,Regulation,Traditions....etc are all subjected to review and changes.It should be dynamic not static..thats what life is all about..every generation goes thru these cycles of apparent change...but its always old wine in new bottle...

sb
Click to expand...
the analogy of wine to me seems a bit... er... unpalatable...

change is inevitable... agreed... but only in certain areas... that is why, certain rituals (gayathri japam, learning vedas, pujas etc) are stressed upon strictly... for whatever be the other change, performing such rituals and observing dharma would ensure that the core objective is not lost in the vagaries of life...

in financial terms - there is always a fixed cost, variable cost and semi-variable cost... so there is both a static factor and a dynamic factor embedded here which would help us tide over any changes...
 
re

Seshadri Subramaniam said:
the analogy of wine to me seems a bit... er... unpalatable...
Click to expand...

Ok,then i will change it to old monk in a new bottle..khe khe:tea:

change is inevitable... agreed... but only in certain areas... that is why, certain rituals (gayathri japam, learning vedas, pujas etc) are stressed upon strictly... for whatever be the other change, performing such rituals and observing dharma would ensure that the core objective is not lost in the vagaries of life...
Click to expand...

I stopped doing all the above except Gayathri Japam,becoz Mahaswamigal has insisted i must do that.

in financial terms - there is always a fixed cost, variable cost and semi-variable cost... so there is both a static factor and a dynamic factor embedded here which would help us tide over any changes...
Click to expand...

Seems like a costly affair,with so many costs..khe khe.Wish our girls marry our men only,instead of marrying nb's.:bolt:

sb
 
The girls need to be wedded soonest possible time at least on or before they attain age of 21 and not thereafter at all. If they grow older than 20 or 21, things get worse....it is even more worst when they get into employment and get the financial independence...Girls, by nature, never care about others except themselves. They are, by nature, selfish by nature (how ever some people may argue that they carry children and give birth and do all sorts of sacrifices for the child. I would say all these are done only for their joy and fullfilment and for nothing else. If that is the case, then why girls are not showing the same affinity on other's children? We can argue it separately if needed). So, once they are grown and gets sexual urge to large extent, they do not mind to get any companion for them. More over, the indifferent attitude of Parents also adds fuel to the fire. Parents, whether the girl wants or not, should get them married soon without expecting any financial help from daughters via their getting employment. Sooner the better...Boys, by nature, can hide and ventilate their sexual feelings...but girls do not....So, it is an earnest appeal to the Parents to get them married soonest possible.....
 
hemamalini

If children do not want to listen to parents,there are consequences,which they will face.If,they have the fortitude & courage,to choose life partners of their choice,then parents in present legal set-up can do zilch about it.But more often,in indian society such marriages is breaking up,due to pressure in society.Even between brahmin marriages,there are so many differences within a couple-it is only, give & take philosophy, for a smooth sailing marriage to work.

So,between non-brahmin partners,also, there will be good period and bad-period,and the couple will have to work at it to stay together,despite provocations from many sources.

In my view,there are only two species,ie man & woman,for marraige to work.Rest lies in elders blessings,gods blessings and above all the couples blessings to each other,for a successful marriage,as envisioned by the couple.

I believe i did marry the woman i loved and wanted to marry after seeing her physically once,and i made the decision solely by myself,with lots of love from well wishers,we are happy.So,everyday is a new day,and we come to know each other everyday,unlike falling in love,living together,and then deciding to marry or go seperate ways.In the west,its an entirely different scenario amongst man-woman interaction,and as parents,we have given freedom to our children,to choose their life partners,when such a situation arises.

sb
 
This philosophy is a bit archaic, anachronostic and unjust. Would you deny the freedom of choice to your daughter (in r/o life partner), deny her the opportunity to pursue her career, treat her less than equal when it comes to education etc. ?

Boss, you really need to get your fundas examined !


Jamadaggni said:
The girls need to be wedded soonest possible time at least on or before they attain age of 21 and not thereafter at all. If they grow older than 20 or 21, things get worse....it is even more worst when they get into employment and get the financial independence...Girls, by nature, never care about others except themselves. They are, by nature, selfish by nature (how ever some people may argue that they carry children and give birth and do all sorts of sacrifices for the child. I would say all these are done only for their joy and fullfilment and for nothing else. If that is the case, then why girls are not showing the same affinity on other's children? We can argue it separately if needed). So, once they are grown and gets sexual urge to large extent, they do not mind to get any companion for them. More over, the indifferent attitude of Parents also adds fuel to the fire. Parents, whether the girl wants or not, should get them married soon without expecting any financial help from daughters via their getting employment. Sooner the better...Boys, by nature, can hide and ventilate their sexual feelings...but girls do not....So, it is an earnest appeal to the Parents to get them married soonest possible.....
Click to expand...
 
Lotus!

I think you miss the gravity of the situation...

Jamadgini is genuniely concerned with Brahmins marrying Brahmins. So he is suggesting early marraige.

I see his fundamentals are genuine concern of our society. His advise has all the merits it deserves.

He is not against women education or employment.. which they can pursue even after marraige.

Palindrome...

Iccha Shakti is 8x more in women than men , that's what I heard.

Ofcourse , all action are for SELF only. "ATMANAASTU KAMAYA SARVAM PRIYAM BHAVATI"

So I see some practical solutions in his post.
 
atleast 21 is better than 26 ..

but i take your 16 ..... that's the best
 
if the taker is competent - why not ?

it all boils to who I give.
 
Dear Mango (Malgova, not Alphonso !),

1.0 Hope you recollect our previous round of exchanges. I have fond memories of the same. I fully appreciate the gravity (?) of the situation. Some esteemed members are concerned about TB girls not deciding to marry TB boys. To some extent, replace "T" with any other alphabet and the problem does exist in other ethnic / linguistic groups of 'B" in India.

2.0 Let me draw parallelism between this situation and the one in the old saying..."If you really love someone, set him or her free, if he/she comes back to you, he/she was always yours, else he/she never was !..."

3.0 If the B/ism is so appealing, I am sure TB girls (or for that matter, other shades like [A-Z]B girls) will always prefer to choose boys/girls within the same community. If he/she does not, then you have a problem. Problem in the available stock and the quality of the potential partners / contenders.

4.0 The only solution is for the "also rans" is to jack up their marketing appeal / public image / saleability / perceived value. And to do so, they got to take a real hard look at what they do or value. Critical examination of old, outdated and archaic practices is one thing which immediately comes to the mind.

5.0 Besides, people got to learn from the books instead of mugging them by rote without understanding them. Sage Parshuram was said to be a "B", and when pushed to the wall, abandoned the books, picked up the axe and went about his task in a business minded manner ? Now re-read para 4.0 !

Rest of the assertions like ...." The girls need to be wedded soonest possible time at least on or before they attain age of 21.......Girls, by nature, never care about others except themselves.....selfish by nature....their joy and fullfilment...........grown and gets sexual urge.........adds fuel to the fire.......ventilate their sexual feelings...but girls do not....So, it is an earnest appeal to the Parents to get them married soonest possible....." are unadulterated and unsubstantiated drivel.



malgova.mango said:
Lotus!

I think you miss the gravity of the situation...

Jamadgini is genuniely concerned with Brahmins marrying Brahmins. So he is suggesting early marraige.

I see his fundamentals are genuine concern of our society. His advise has all the merits it deserves.

He is not against women education or employment.. which they can pursue even after marraige.

Palindrome...

Iccha Shakti is 8x more in women than men , that's what I heard.

Ofcourse , all action are for SELF only. "ATMANAASTU KAMAYA SARVAM PRIYAM BHAVATI"

So I see some practical solutions in his post.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
re

lotus_quartz said:
Dear Mango (Malgova, not Alphonso !),

1.0 Hope you recollect our previous round of exchanges. I have fond memories of the same. I fully appreciate the gravity (?) of the situation. Some esteemed members are concerned about TB girls not deciding to marry TB boys. To some extent, replace "T" with any other alphabet and the problem does exist in other ethnic / linguistic groups of 'B" in India.

2.0 Let me draw parallelism between this situation and the one in the old saying..."If you really love someone, set him or her free, if he/she comes back to you, he/she was always yours, else he/she never was !..."

3.0 If the B/ism is so appealing, I am sure TB girls (or for that matter, other shades like [A-Z]B girls) will always prefer to choose boys/girls within the same community. If he/she does not, then you have a problem. Problem in the available stock and the quality of the potential partners / contenders.

4.0 The only solution is for the "also rans" is to jack up their marketing appeal / public image / saleability / perceived value. And to do so, they got to take a real hard look at what they do or value. Critical examination of old, outdated and archaic practices is one thing which immediately comes to the mind.

5.0 Besides, people got to learn from the books instead of mugging them by rote without understanding them. Sage Parshuram was said to be a "B", and when pushed to the wall, abandoned the books, picked up the axe and went about his task in a business minded manner ? Now re-read para 4.0 !

Rest of the assertions like ...." The girls need to be wedded soonest possible time at least on or before they attain age of 21.......Girls, by nature, never care about others except themselves.....selfish by nature....their joy and fullfilment...........grown and gets sexual urge.........adds fuel to the fire.......ventilate their sexual feelings...but girls do not....So, it is an earnest appeal to the Parents to get them married soonest possible....." are unadulterated and unsubstantiated drivel.
Click to expand...

lq

maaza aagaya yaar ( happiness abound ) with your finesse in thought.Especially about Sage Parashu-Ramar part.Yes,TB's or any B's in the world ( ie Jathi/caste/nomenclature- Brahmanas ) need to revise thought process.

In fact,i was asked to stop learning Karate at the instance of Mahaswamigal ( but now i think,my parents tricked me using Mahaswamigal ) when i was training myself for ' brown belt '.I was getting out of line brought dis-repute by my actions,thru violent means to acheive my way!

Girls are girls only,just as boys are boys.During teens,the hormones are raging and only physical needs are pre-dominant in majority of the cases( aasai 30 naal,moham 60 varusham= lust is 30 days=but desires is for 60 years ) .But practically my sincere advice to folks is,if you are jathi brahmana its better to choose from your own jathi.There are exceptions always to rule.I believe India is also changing in younger generations perception about having pre-marital physical intimacy,dunno how far its true,though?

sb
 
re

palindrome said:
So girl getting married at 16 is fine with you. Great. :laser:

What if a girl falls in love and elopes at 16 and falls out of love and wants to divorce at 21?
Click to expand...

palindrome

Divorce is a painfull process for all concerned except the attorneys and legal industry.But society has changed,so divorces are there to stay.Our vedic cultures too had seperation and in fact a woman can choose or reject partners in life.Old wine in a new bottle.I am glad women are getting a better deal in life today.:hat:

sb
 
re

palindrome said:
Jamadagni is saying girls must be married before 21.

What if a brahmin girl elopes at the age of 17? Someone eloped at 16 !!

Would you suggest getting your daughter married at the age of 15 ? Maybe 12 will be better :baby:
Click to expand...

In cases like this,one should handle things very very carefully,otherwise children will commit suicide even.Mind is a funny thing,never know how it works to detrimental situation for other folks.Let them meet but must earn respect of all concerned before tying the knot or slipping the rings.

sb
 
lq!

please be reminded, you are replying to a simpleton.

I only understand you took the opportunity to shed a piece of advice.
On Lord Parashurama! I don't quite understand what you are trying to convey AND how it is connected here. BTW ... Lord Parashuram is Kshatriya by Birth - Do you know that ?

Neverthless , I don't see you are offering any solutions to the problem facing the community .


May be Jamadaggni put it bluntly .. .. but this is how the things are .
 
Jamadaggni Ji,

Let me first say that your usrging of parents to get their married off early at the age of 21 has some merit. I think at that age, most of the girls are not exposed to working outside and thus won't generally in a place where they can develop contacts at work which may develop naturally in to romance. By the way, same hold true for boys.

What I don't understand however is your total generalization about the other gender as sex craving, harmonal driven selfish human beings. This has no root in logic nor is it backed up by any studies. You may have some anecdotal evidence to this effect in some instances. But to generalize it like this and slam the whole population of a particular gender is unwarranted. Your statements show a lack of humanity and is misogynistic.

I am sure you are a man. Only a man can say such words without thinking. Such words have no place in civilized conversation. If you are a woman, then it is much worse.

KRS

Jamadaggni said:
The girls need to be wedded soonest possible time at least on or before they attain age of 21 and not thereafter at all. If they grow older than 20 or 21, things get worse....it is even more worst when they get into employment and get the financial independence...Girls, by nature, never care about others except themselves. They are, by nature, selfish by nature (how ever some people may argue that they carry children and give birth and do all sorts of sacrifices for the child. I would say all these are done only for their joy and fullfilment and for nothing else. If that is the case, then why girls are not showing the same affinity on other's children? We can argue it separately if needed). So, once they are grown and gets sexual urge to large extent, they do not mind to get any companion for them. More over, the indifferent attitude of Parents also adds fuel to the fire. Parents, whether the girl wants or not, should get them married soon without expecting any financial help from daughters via their getting employment. Sooner the better...Boys, by nature, can hide and ventilate their sexual feelings...but girls do not....So, it is an earnest appeal to the Parents to get them married soonest possible.....
Click to expand...
 
my stong contempt

Mr.jamadagni!!!
I strongly oppose what u have said.Many scientific studies have pronounced that women are mentally stronger than men.Even now they have to face lots of hardships in running their daily life in this world. What evidence do u have to say that women have more sexual feeling than men. I think people like u donot travel by bus at all.U can very well see the state of mind of men very candidly. Male chauvinists like u hate women progressing in all spheres. I am damn sure that women have knowledge about the sampradaya and rise to the situaton and act upon as the society expects them to do.
 
re

Seshadri Subramaniam said:
A sincere appeal to all Brahmin guys - please develop your physique as well... it pays...
Click to expand...

yes,buy bullworker and do it for 7 mins every day.bulges at the right places to make the fairer sex swoon and gasp and thud they will fall.:eyebrows:

sb
 
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