Pl don’t listen to wrong people/wrong advise !!

[biswa]

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Regarding why old men try to control the reproductive status of young women, it is the old idea. If I am not getting something, nobody else should!

 

[renuka]

How old is an old man???
It is quite natural that old men lose their power.
What is so strange about it anyway?
They will deal with it in the best way known to them.

Dear VR ji,


When I was in college...I remember on post graduate doctor telling us girls that we should get married fast cos girls are not ever green like men.

Then one Chinese male student in our class told him "Yes I agree that men are ever green but as men age..the shade of green changes"

All of us started laughing.

 

[renuka]

When I read some posts here I feel the most dominating type of male is the type that tries to control the reproductive rights and choice of a woman.

A woman might not view herself as baby making machine operated by a male....some might even opt to have 1 child or even not having children.

I am going to put it bluntly here..we women never try to control a males reproductive organs(it seems to have a mind of its own!LOL)...so why do some males to try to control a female most personal possession?

 

[Jaykay767]

A woman might not view herself as baby making machine operated by a male....some might even opt to have 1 child or even not having children.

Dear Renuka:

On the point of some might even opt to have 1 child or no children – again my advise is go with the tried & tested age old method.

One must have 2 or 3 kids, you never know what happens in life, for eg, God forbids, if by chance a mother loses one kid post her menopause, she will have atleast have others with her. Of course there are many advantages of having multiple children in the family as pointed out by recent researchers.

So, Ignorance is bliss in such cases. People are learning the real hard way by discarding all that was old & then becoming a living example for others.

Cheers,

 

[Jaykay767]

Our ancients have seen it all, they have seen all the “Hares” jumping around like in this forum with the new “tatvams” & then ending up with disasters.

Finally they saw the "Goondu" Tortoise with the "old tatvam" crossing the final line laughing !! - LOL !!.

Hope KRS does not find this post offensive.

 

[renuka]

One must have 2 or 3 kids, you never know what happens in life, for eg, God forbids, if by chance a mother loses one kid post her menopause, she will have atleast have others with her.

Cheers,

What!!!

Treating kids as commodity?

That is if one dies..there are still other kids left for us?

A human life is not merely statistics..a life lost is still a life lost no matter how many kids a person has.

Even if a mother has 10 kids and 1 dies..she might have 9 remaining but she will never have the one which died.

Just like mortality statistics in a hospital...mortality statistic might be only 5% in some cases of illnesses but to the family that lost the loved one it is 100% for them.

Going by that...if we need more than 1 kid so that if anything happens there is some others left..then why dont people have multiple spouses..in case one spouse dies there is still others balance?

Get what I mean?

 

[Jaykay767]

Hi Renuka,

I am not treating Kids as commodity, you are misinterpreting my post. Of course the grief of losing any kid is enormous & will always remain.

This is reality however tough it is to understand/agree, one would be better off with 2 or 3 kids.


Well dont people marry after a spouse passes away ??

Cheers,

 

[sarang]

Ayyo pavame!

With the recent high profile reporting of rape, this issue of consent and marriage has come to the fore. If the age of consent is reduced to 15, but the age for legal wedding is 18. This leads to legal and moral confusion; perhaps encourages more hanky panky.

The rest of the mumbo jumbo may be interest to the initiated; rest can ignore.

Are you OK? I mean, seriously.

What's the connection between what i wrote and your comment?

I was commenting on ability to reproduce at any age until menopause (based on the health not age of women). My comment was not about reducing marriage age to promote mating between pre-teens or teens or about west.


Why ten year old kids, why not 2 or 3 year old kids? Is this some kinda khap mentality ? Or some way to promote pedophilia of Manusmriti style? or mating with 9 year old Aisha in sharia style?

Guess what, some men are born crazy. Religion has nothing to do with it. Crazy men create religion and laws in certain ways. And its never women, its always men (supposedly charismatic military leaders). In addition to variants of MAOA gene aka 'warrior gene' which makes men very driven to conquer land and women (with some variants also implicated in psychopathic behavior such as rape and murder), men can also carry a gene variant for vasopressin, which is being implicated in poor interpersonal bonding as well as greater likelihood to exhibit clan behavior (tribalism). Also explains why women everywhere bond easily, while men hesitate. Also explains why some men think they own women, can dictate their lives. Marriage at 10 indeed. Sigh!

 

[renuka]

Hi Renuka,

I am not treating Kids as commodity, you are misinterpreting my post. Of course the grief of losing any kid is enormous & will always remain.

This is reality however tough it is to understand/agree, one would be better off with 2 or 3 kids.


Well dont people marry after a spouse passes away ??

Cheers,

Dear JK,

I feel it is up to a person to decide the number of kids we have and that also depends on the desire of the parents.

Recently one woman aged 60(my mums friend) saw me with my husband and son at the shopping mall and she remarked that "when are you going to have another child?"

I thought that question was an invasion of privacy and even my son told me later why cant that lady mind her business.

You see that lady has 2 grown up sons..both married and she adopted a girl some years back cos she always desired a daughter.

Since she was bugging me for an answer I told her that it is my personal choice to have only 1 child and she was not taking that for an answer..she went on saying that "when we look back at things and when kids grow up..we will feel happier when we have at least 2-3 kids"

This time I was getting annoyed and I told her "that is subjective..it all depends on our desires and how we would view happiness in life..happiness is within and subjective and what we view as happiness might not be the same as another's view"

She did not seem satisfied with my answer and when on nagging me still..finally I told her "dear aunty..when we are all going to die one day..why have so many desires...let your desire be yours and my desire be mine..they need not be the same"

Then she kept quiet.

The only way to shut some people up is to talk about death in a philosophical way!LOL

 

[Jaykay767]

Dear JK,

I feel it is up to a person to decide the number of kids we have and that also depends on the desire of the parents.

Recently one woman aged 60(my mums friend) saw me with my husband and son at the shopping mall and she remarked that "when are you going to have another child?"

I thought that question was an invasion of privacy and even my son told me later why cant that lady mind her business.

You see that lady has 2 grown up sons..both married and she adopted a girl some years back cos she always desired a daughter.

Since she was bugging me for an answer I told her that it is my personal choice to have only 1 child and she was not taking that for an answer..she went on saying that "when we look back at things and when kids grow up..we will feel happier when we have at least 2-3 kids"

This time I was getting annoyed and I told her "that is subjective..it all depends on our desires and how we would view happiness in life..happiness is within and subjective and what we view as happiness might not be the same as another's view"

She did not seem satisfied with my answer and when on nagging me still..finally I told her "dear aunty..when we are all going to die one day..why have so many desires...let your desire be yours and my desire be mine..they need not be the same"

Then she kept quiet.

The only way to shut some people up is to talk about death in a philosophical way!LOL

Hi Renuka,
Yes, it is a personal choice & you can choose to decide the way you want. However that does not make it the “right choice”.

My post is for the general public not specifically for you. Just because some one forcefully argues a point does NOT make it right !!

Cheers,

 

[sarang]

Who is that person - husband or wife or chinese government?

In the hey day of planned family planning, hundreds of posters adorned the walls of tamilnadu - 'we two, ours two' with the youthful picture of mu karunanidhi looking down two kids, a boy and a girl. Even his hard core followers couldn't digest it.

Dear JK,

I feel it is up to a person to decide the number of kids we have

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

ONLY child is a lonely child. out:

The parents have no moral rights to deprive :nono:

him/her of his/ her very own blood brother/ sister.

 

[palindrome]

Ayyo pavame!

With the recent high profile reporting of rape, this issue of consent and marriage has come to the fore. If the age of consent is reduced to 15, but the age for legal wedding is 18. This leads to legal and moral confusion; perhaps encourages more hanky panky.

The rest of the mumbo jumbo may be interest to the initiated; rest can ignore.

My post was on women who can gave birth all the way till menopause depending on health. It had nothing (in the first place) to do with age, reducing wedding age, getting 10 year old kids married or west. Based on your senseless (non-sequitur) response ("Why not reduce the age of marriage to ten") i added something to enlighten you about khap mentality and genes involved in certain behavior. Now your current response on consent remains a non-sequitur. It is a pitiable response (and a dumb one at that, if i may add so openly).

 

[palindrome]

Back in time, women were confined at home, doing only house hold chores. They were not exposed to the environmental pollution of the present days. They were not into mechanical life of today. Adulteration was very meager and people had healthy food.

For the last few decades, the scenario is totally different. That's the reason hell lots of fertility center has mushroomed up!


Couples who were married after 30-35+ are going through lots of dysfunctions. From ED to Low active sperm counts in men and from the women's ovary issues to quality of women's eggs where her eggs are as old as her age and as fragile as her health is, in this mechanical life style. Hormonal imbalances are on rise and are leading to many complications in men and women.

Thus, considering the women of back in time, we can not sit back and relax, generally considering that, today's older women too have the high ability to conceive, carry and successfully deliver healthy baby at 35+ of age. And that, such older ladies of today too have no risk to her life in going through pregnancy.

Because, the present truth is different and is visible to every one of us. We cannot deny today's reality.

Not just women today, infertility is on the rise in men too, as you rightly point out. As an observation, am told, often wives of techie (IT) guys have miscarriage or foetal abnormalities. The problem appears to be with the male's damaged sperm (attributed to constant exposure to computer usage, especially laptop use). As such there is a rise in male infertility: Infertility on the rise among Indian men - Times Of India

A man 35+ may also end up needing Vicky Donor for artificial insemination of his wife, like a female aged 35+.

Yes i agree with you, couples married after 30-35+ may have issues.

 

[palindrome]

ONLY child is a lonely child. out:

The parents have no moral rights to deprive :nono:

him/her of his/ her very own blood brother/ sister.

Not necessarily true madam. If a child has good friends, there is little chance to be lonely. Maybe it depends on how the child is raised.

 

[Raji Ram]

Not necessarily true madam. If a child has good friends, there is little chance to be lonely. Maybe it depends on how the child is raised.

I agree!! My son (only child) grew up with close association with all his cousins! :grouphug:

 

[C RAVI]

Raviji, you write post #90 did not read post#89.
Look around you, the world has changed, and you are being left behind.

I did not write post no.90. It was written by Shri Kunjuppu..

 

[C RAVI]

Not just women today, infertility is on the rise in men too, as you rightly point out. As an observation, am told, often wives of techie (IT) guys have miscarriage or foetal abnormalities. The problem appears to be with the male's damaged sperm (attributed to constant exposure to computer usage, especially laptop use). As such there is a rise in male infertility: Infertility on the rise among Indian men - Times Of India

A man 35+ may also end up needing Vicky Donor for artificial insemination of his wife, like a female aged 35+.

Yes i agree with you, couples married after 30-35+ may have issues.

I have indicated the same in my post that you quoted while posting the above post. I said both men and women at 30-35+ age end up with lots of complications/dysfunctions. From ED to low active sperm counts in men to women's ovary issues and female eggs that become as old as her age is and as fragile as her health at that older age, having a mechanical life, surviving under extensive pollution and highly adulterated and less fresh/natural foods. And that, given the present environment, hormonal imbalances among men and women are in rise that shows its negativity in due aging process

Unfortunately some members here have preconceived ideas that some male members here are interested to find faults and issues in females only and with that preconceived ideas ignore to read the post properly, posted by a male poster.

 

[palindrome]

I agree!! My son (only child) grew up with close association with all his cousins! :grouphug:

A lady known to me has 3 siblings. Has too many problems with siblings. In such cases, one wud wish she had no siblings. Irrespective of single child or many siblings, the outcomes of our lives can be so random, unexpected, or can turn out mundane, ordinary,....all karma, i feel.

 

[C RAVI]

Not necessarily true madam. If a child has good friends, there is little chance to be lonely. Maybe it depends on how the child is raised.

I would suggest you to watch a very good topic in Neeya - Nana - "The reasons for a child and more than one child."

If we go through the show fully, we can realize which one is good.

Some times for some people, it is not possible to opt for the best option and they would be forced to end up with only 1 child. But, just for that, a person need not to disagree with the positivity of more than one child just to justify his/her choice, given his/her situaltion.

Here is the link -

Neeya Naana | ???? ???? - The reasons for a child or more than one child - YouTube

 

[palindrome]

I would suggest you to watch a very good topic in Neeya - Nana - "The reasons for a child and more than one child."

If we go through the show fully, we can realize which one is good.

Some times for some people, it is not possible to opt for the best option and they would be forced to end up with only 1 child. But, just for that, a person need not to disagree with the positivity of more than one child just to justify his/her choice, given his/her situaltion.

Here is the link -

Neeya Naana | ???? ???? - The reasons for a child or more than one child - YouTube

I agree Ravi. Some may be forced by circumstances to have only 1 child. Some may have many kids but wish they had fewer (a chinese lady in her early 40s has 3 daughters now trying to get pregnant again to have a boy baby... she is not interested but her husband wants to try for a boy baby). Perhaps just like death is not in our hands, birth too is not in our hands. So whether we have 1 kid or many kids, giving them the best is all we can do. Rest is left to God, Karma, Nature....

 

[Raji Ram]

I would suggest you to watch a very good topic in Neeya - Nana - "The reasons for a child and more than one child."
.........

I did not watch this because it is too late anyway!!

First guys and girls should get married and then only comes the question of having children.....

At least this sequence is NOT changed till now! God bless!! ray2:

 

[C RAVI]

I did not watch this because it is too late anyway!!

First guys and girls should get married and then only comes the question of having children.....

At least this sequence is NOT changed till now! God bless!! ray2:

Shmt Raji Ram,

You are right. But, it is not that unmarried guys and girls who are still single have no caliber to understand what is good and what is not good in/for a family life. AND, it is not that their participation in such family and social topics are useless or senseless.

 

[renuka]

Hi Renuka,
Yes, it is a personal choice & you can choose to decide the way you want. However that does not make it the “right choice”.

Dear JK,

In our life..there is nothing called Right Choice or Wrong Choice..just like there is no such thing as eternal punyam and eternal papam..everything that we go through or do in life are just experiences.

Yes I agree...a person's choice might not be 100% right and just to add it is not 100% wrong either but what amazes me is people imposing their choices on others as if they are 100% right.

As a person who decided to have only 1 child I never go around asking people "OMG why are you having 2-3 children..OMG OMG how could you?" and neither do I ask a childless person "OMG when are you going to have kids...OMG OMG don't you want kids?"

Get what I mean...I let others make their own choices cos what is right for me might not be right for others and the reverse is also true.

We Asians tend to be imposing and invade the personal choice and privacy of others...we need to respect others choice and decision whether it is right or wrong.

 

[Jaykay767]

Hi Renuka:

I am not at all imposing this on you nor on anyone. If yousee my first post on this subject, I only said my advise is to have 2 or 3 kids.

There may be situations/circumstances for each & everyperson, so this is totally understandable.

So for the unmarried, newly married couples or people planningfor the family way, it may be of interest to evaluate all options & thendecide for themselves.

Cheers,