Qualified brahmin!

[Raji Ram]

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SAsthigaLs know how to please people! One guy in our extended family loved a girl from Thailand and a grand Iyer type wedding

was organized. Due to some problems in flights, only the bride and her father could arrive for the wedding. Idea!!

NAmakaraNam, annaprAsana were done for that girl prior to her wedding and the groom's mAmA and mAmi 'adopted' her with

proper mantrAs and gave her away, clad in traditional madisAr, to the groom.

P.S: Qualified 'Iyer Bride'. :thumb:

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Sasthrigal know how to plese people - My mama's G daughter fell in love with her cousin of same Gothram Idea

Namakaranam Annapprasanam were done for the girl prior to her wedding The girl was 'adopted' by her mama & mami of different Gothram with proper mantrams and gave her away clad in tradional madisar to the groom . Can happen even when the varan is from Thai land (Nadu) and not necessarily from Thailand!

 

[CHANDRU1849]

SAsthigaLs know how to please people! One guy in our extended family loved a girl from Thailand and a grand Iyer type wedding

was organized. Due to some problems in flights, only the bride and her father could arrive for the wedding. Idea!!

NAmakaraNam, annaprAsana were done for that girl prior to her wedding and the groom's mAmA and mAmi 'adopted' her with

proper mantrAs and gave her away, clad in traditional madisAr, to the groom.

P.S: Qualified 'Iyer Bride'. :thumb:

How will you qualify an Iyer bride, if she marries an Iyengar boy, wears madisar of boy's tradition, has Andal kondai and performs namaskarams multiple times?

What is her qualification?

 

[sarang]

Rules are simple. Before mangalyadharanam, the girl belong to her parents' sect. Reborn into the boys' side after the event. In maharashtra, the girl is given a new name and that is used. Followed by all, nothing to do with brahmins.

How will you qualify an Iyer bride, if she marries an Iyengar boy, wears madisar of boy's tradition, has Andal kondai and performs namaskarams multiple times?

What is her qualification?

 

[Raji Ram]

Sasthrigal know how to plese people - My mama's G daughter fell in love with her cousin of same Gothram Idea

Namakaranam Annapprasanam were done for the girl prior to her wedding The girl was 'adopted' by her mama & mami of different Gothram with proper mantrams and gave her away clad in tradional madisar to the groom . Can happen even when the varan is from Thai land (Nadu) and not necessarily from Thailand!

P.S. Think or Blink 'Brahmin Bride '

Very very old fashion J J Ji!!

The latest and hottest trend is this: The tear-eyed- mom of the bride would tell the near and dear ones that the gOthram of her

dear daughter is getting changed, whereas the sAstrigaLs would say the SAME gOthram for both the groom and the bride, while

all the invited guests would be very busy, chatting about everything under the sun !! :blah:

 

[Raji Ram]

How will you qualify an Iyer bride, if she marries an Iyengar boy, wears madisar of boy's tradition, has Andal kondai and performs namaskarams multiple times?

What is her qualification?

Very simple! She will be a qualified Iyengar bride! :thumb:

So far the bride follows the customs of the groom; soon it might be uLtA!!

 

[sadasivam.sridharan]

The Sastrigal seems to be a clever person . He has created a win win soution by his smartness.

 

[CHANDRU1849]

Very simple! She will be a qualified Iyengar bride! :thumb:

So far the bride follows the customs of the groom; soon it might be uLtA!!

Is it not male chauvinism? The religion has not given her freedom. Once becomes Iyengar bride, she has to follow the customs prevailed there. Is it not conversion?

 

[Raji Ram]

Is it not male chauvinism? The religion has not given her freedom. Once becomes Iyengar bride, she has to follow the customs prevailed there. Is it not conversion?

:nono: It is NOT conversion!

Not a big deal since she continues to be brahmin!

BTW, males are considered 'more than equal', always!

 

[renuka]

Rules are simple. Before mangalyadharanam, the girl belong to her parents' sect. Reborn into the boys' side after the event. In maharashtra, the girl is given a new name and that is used. Followed by all, nothing to do with brahmins.

I have heard about this too..but frankly speaking nothing really changes for anyone..we are what we are till the day we die.
Our physical body has genetic imprints that do not change becos of marriage.

 

[Raji Ram]

I have heard about this too..but frankly speaking nothing really changes for anyone..we are what we are till the day we die.
Our physical body has genetic imprints that do not change becos of marriage.

Very true, Renu!

But since a girl is given 'away' in marriage, she is supposed to follow the customs and traditions of her husband's family.

Some rules are disgusting too! A female has only three days theettu when one of her parents leave this world. But for the

persons of same gOthram in the husband's family, whom she might not have seen, she has ten days theettu! Such are the

practices. One mAmi used to lament about how she was forced to celebrate Vinayaka chathurthi, with all the neivEdhyams,

on the fourth dayof the sad demise of her dear father in his mid 50s! :sad:

 

[Vaagmi]

Very true, Renu!

But since a girl is given 'away' in marriage, she is supposed to follow the customs and traditions of her husband's family.

Some rules are disgusting too! A female has only three days theettu when one of her parents leave this world. But for the

persons of same gOthram in the husband's family, whom she might not have seen, she has ten days theettu! Such are the

practices. One mAmi used to lament about how she was forced to celebrate Vinayaka chathurthi, with all the neivEdhyams,

on the fourth dayof the sad demise of her dear father in his mid 50s! :sad:

A line has to be drawn somewhere. Otherwise the exercise will become regressive and unending. It is better to draw a line, move on to the next moment and live the life fully.

 

[Raji Ram]

A line has to be drawn somewhere. Otherwise the exercise will become regressive and unending. It is better to draw a line, move on to the next moment and live the life fully.

​Not better sometimes, Vaagmi Sir!

Losing a dear father in his mid 50s gives lot of grief and that mother-in- law is surely insensitive!

 

[sadasivam.sridharan]

It is really insensitive on the part of in laws to persuade the girl to celebrate the festival in such a situation .At least her husband should have advised his parents to understand her feelings and leave her alone or send her to her parent's home , if it is possible.

 

[sarang]

But they want to be called by the new given names.

I have heard about this too..but frankly speaking nothing really changes for anyone..we are what we are till the day we die.
Our physical body has genetic imprints that do not change becos of marriage.

 

[auh]

Is it not male chauvinism? The religion has not given her freedom. Once becomes Iyengar bride, she has to follow the customs prevailed there. Is it not conversion?

nice try

 

[Raji Ram]

J J Ji,
Please add 'Copy paste brahmin' and 'Copy cat brahmin'!

P.S: The world has male and female brahmins!

 

[renuka]

But they want to be called by the new given names.

Dont these females feel that they at least need to honour their parents by retaining their birth given first name?
By accepting a new name given by the grooms family it makes it seem that a female has no identity of her own..as it is the so called gotra shotra changes..then the first name too changes..what the heck yaar? No wonder the behaviour of a bride too changes and she becomes a nagging wife!LOL

 

[renuka]

Very true, Renu!

But since a girl is given 'away' in marriage, she is supposed to follow the customs and traditions of her husband's family.

Some rules are disgusting too! A female has only three days theettu when one of her parents leave this world. But for the

persons of same gOthram in the husband's family, whom she might not have seen, she has ten days theettu! Such are the

practices. One mAmi used to lament about how she was forced to celebrate Vinayaka chathurthi, with all the neivEdhyams,

on the fourth dayof the sad demise of her dear father in his mid 50s! :sad:

Dear RR ji,

This I feel has no valid religious significance..its more of a patriarchal custom not taking into account of the feelings of a woman and her blood ties with her family.

Especially the Asaucham period for a married female and her blood relatives.

For me its simple ..its the same number of days no matter what the relationship is whether the person is my blood relative or my husbands relative....I need to honour the departed soul and there has to be equality.

 

[sangom]

Dear RR ji,

This I feel has no valid religious significance..its more of a patriarchal custom not taking into account of the feelings of a woman and her blood ties with her family.

Especially the Asaucham period for a married female and her blood relatives.

For me its simple ..its the same number of days no matter what the relationship is whether the person is my blood relative or my husbands relative....I need to honour the departed soul and there has to be equality.

I think the time is not far away when the husband will observe Aasoucham for the death of his relatives, while the wife and kids will be free from it and vice versa.

 

[sarang]

Ok if one can write a new dharmasastra and it attracts followers. Now suyamariyadai marriage concept promoted aggressively by the black dravidiyan group is on the wane, as many have have switched to traditional vedic or equivalent tamil ritual.

Dear RR ji,

This I feel has no valid religious significance..its more of a patriarchal custom not taking into account of the feelings of a woman and her blood ties with her family.

Especially the Asaucham period for a married female and her blood relatives.

For me its simple ..its the same number of days no matter what the relationship is whether the person is my blood relative or my husbands relative....I need to honour the departed soul and there has to be equality.

 

[renuka]

Ok if one can write a new dharmasastra and it attracts followers. Now suyamariyadai marriage concept promoted aggressively by the black dravidiyan group is on the wane, as many have have switched to traditional vedic or equivalent tamil ritual.

There is no need to write any new Dharmashastra..one just has to follow what the heart says.

The words of the heart is the true Svadharmashastra.

 

[sarang]

Fine, as long as only self is to be satisfied;

There is no need to write any new Dharmashastra..one just has to follow what the heart says.

The words of then heart is the true Svadharmashatra.

 

[renuka]

Fine, as long as only self is to be satisfied;

Its for the sake of SELF that we even love anyone or anything.

 

[Raji Ram]

In our family circle we have the mourning period as one year, whether the departed soul is that of the husband's parent or the wife's parent.

Ram's very traditional brother in law actually started this practice. :thumb: