just to give you another point, to reflect vasumathi mention of 'sentimentality'.
someone known to us lost his only son 21 years old in a car accident night driving sober no alcohol from bangalore to chennai while driving with friends. all were teetotalers, and i wish to emphasize that. also no drugs as these were good kids.
a rogue lorry driven by the cleaner hit them head on and the son was instantly killed.
the shocked parents, ofcourse, went through the cremation, more in state of shock than anything else.
now, about 10 years later, the immense wealthy parents, live with this grief which appears to never heal.
the father, in a poignant chat with me, a while back, mentioned, that instead of blindly following the tradition, he wished he had buried his son, in one of his (father's) estates.
it appears that the father and son were the best of friends. he feels now that atleast he would have had the consolation of sitting next to his tomb, and getting the feel of him, chat with him, and be able to grieve. for the father, has still not been able to find a mode to grieve.
ஆறாத புண் ! what to do? i had no consolation for the father. one could only sit and listen. even to open my mouth, appeared a violation
which is why, when people come up with rules, i have an issue re exceptions. there is always circumstances which may justify doing things in violation of tradition. there are those who live by the tradition, and consider it their fate. and then there those, liek the father in this true incident, who wished he had done something different.