suraju06 Sir
" Living in a family together is a beautiful experience. It ends only when one of the two members die"
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As you have rightly said 'Living in a family together is a beautiful experience. It ends only when one of the two members die' is going to come any day to us.
To some extend , the love from grand children, son, daughter in law can compensate but not altogether.
I am of the opinion a woman can manage to stay alone without her husband with son's family, but for a man without wife might prove a difficult task.
Don't know how other members react to this.
Years ago, a tambram gentleman immigrated to Canada. He was nearing mid aged, and left a flourishing career in india, to seek out fortune in Canada. He landed in Toronto, and became a paying guest in one of our friend’s homes.
This was then a young family, the husband wife both yet to have children, with a heavy mortgage and two jobs. Both left early and came late. To add to the discomfort, they lived in the suburbs of Toronto, meaning that there is no convenient and frequent public transport. The gentleman from india was thus isolated and faced big odds trying to find his first job.
As usual, he expected 4 meals a day, starting with coffee, then breakfast/brunch, lunch, tiffin and finally dinner. Imagine his shock, when he woke up the first day and found himself alone, with a note from the host wife, to fix himself toast or cereals, and instructions to make coffee. No word of lunch (!).
The poor guy was in tears as he did not know even how to boil water.
Time and again, I have found that my male relatives, on visiting us, are amazed at how handy I am not only in cooking, but am responsible for putting food on the table many a times, while the wife is away working or out of town or has other activities keeping her away from kitchen. The concept that men can and need to cook, is thoroughly alien to these.
I am not at all surprised. As I was the same till I was 23. Actively prevented from entering the kitchen other than to seek some food, already prepared, I did not have a clue to making sambhar or rasam or any such stuff. It was only coming to Canada, living alone, and slowly but very quickly learning to prepare rudimentary kozhambu/vegetable as otherwise only starvation faced me.
I think the western counterpart hubby learns from an earlier stage to prepare food. But then their ordinary day to day food, is far less complicated, compared to us, re mixture of ingredients and variety of sauces. A steak or chicken or fish, grilled or barbecued is the main meal. Salt and pepper, added to provide the spice. Vegetables boiled or raw salad with not tasty concotions. And other ready made frozen stuff available in the markets.
I find that we too have ‘improved’. Now a days, I can go to any indian store, and get ready made food, in vacuum sealed packages, same as in india. I look at the labels and note the chemical contents – so many sulfates, malleates, magesiums…that I wonder, how much of it is really the ‘real food’.
Personally I think, for an old man, to live with his son is definitely not half as easy, as to live with his daughter. Daughters, generally, have a soft corner for their father, and would go the extra mile to take care of him. Daughter in law, may be ok, but can never replace a daughter, in affection. A daughter, though not quite, can be as understanding as a wife, and more amenable to old age needs, than a daughter in law, but there are exceptions everyone.
Generally speaking, it is good to leave the earth, while in good health, and save everyone the trouble. But God often has other plans I guess.