Brahmin Girls Marrying (Attracted towards) NB Boys

[nachi naga]

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Sri.Sankara Narayanan said :-

"A few members have approved the inter-caste marriages. But, Sir, it is not correct. In Bhagavatgita, Arjuna laments that he had been forced to wage a war, the results of which would be far-reacahing and damaging. One such damage, he says, is 'varna sankara'. And this would lead to chaos in the society; entire dharma would be uprooted. So he admonished that the 'varnasankara' -ie. inter-caste marriages- would ruin the very fabric of our dharma."

Respected Sir, I am one of the few members who would approve inter-caste marriage if it was opted by my children.
Sir, you have quoted Srimad Baghavad Gita (BG) verses from 39 to 44 in chapter 1. That's where Arjuna lamented. But Sir, you had not quoted Sri.Krishna's reply though. After listening to Sri.Arjuna, Sri.Krishna said with surprise ..

Sri-bhagavan uvaca -
kutas tva kasmalam idam visame samupasthitam
amarya justvam asvargyam akirti-karam arjuna - BG 2:02.

Sri Krishna said - My dear Arjuna, how have these impurities come upon you? They are not at all befitting a man who knows the value of life. They lead not to higher planets but to infamy (Translation by Srila A.C. Bakthivedanta Swamy Prabhupada , from Bhagavad Gita 'As it is).

Cheers!

Raghy,

Well quoted with absolute brilliance.Surrender to Lord Krishna,and he will take care of you and your needs.One of the best scriptures is ur Bhagavath Gita during Kali Yugam.

nachi naga.

 

[pakkaiyengar]

Ego of branhin girls family

Dear, friends,

As this thread is about bramhin girls marrying NB boys, i would like to share some of my views.


Today we have to understand one basic thing about bramhin girls

and how cheap they have gone(Including their parents), What i

feel is Non-Bramhin girls are more disiplined & decoremed in

comparing towards bramhin girls. why iam saying this is becoz you take for instance today when a boys family approach a girls family for marriage there are a number of cheap things asked by the girls family most of them say boy should be BE or MBA so as per their plan people other than BEs and MBAs should be bachelor for lifetime they demand that boy should have a 3bedroom flat ,in todays cost of living you can imagine one buying flat in city like chennai or bangalore .The second thing they ask is he has to own a car.Bull shit ,iam asking they are doing marriage or trading with their girl, there are other type of people who very much want the boy to be out of india atleast dubai or singapore ,if so what for boys living in india are for, This is the selfish charecter of todays bramhin girls family, they want to see foregin thro their girl they made them a travel agent. Everybody is aware there is only less girls available for marriage in bramhin community. But this is not the excat fact .there are lot of girls available but they are rejecting till they get a boy favouring their selfish dreams .That is not going to be a problem for boys becoz a man can live separatly for long time but think about women they cant. What they will do is marry other cast boys who rich and well. So at the out set Non-bramhin girls are much bett5er than bramhin girls.:heh::spy:

 

[happyhindu]

A few members have approved the inter-caste marriages. But, Sir, it is not correct. In Bhagavatgita, Arjuna laments that he had been forced to wage a war, the results of which would be far-reacahing and damaging. One such damage, he says, is 'varna sankara'. And this would lead to chaos in the society; entire dharma would be uprooted. So he admonished that the 'varnasankara' -ie. inter-caste marriages- would ruin the very fabric of our dharma. so it should be rejected outright. But alas! now the overall thought is against normal marriage, encouraged they are by government. Main reason for this is that expecting rational justifications for notional thoughts, which are to be believed and followed as handed down by tradition. Pray Lord Meenakshisundareswara that they alone should put a stop to this dangerous trend.

sir, marrying from the same culture is a sort of comfort zone, atleast one knows what to expect in terms of life style...

things obviously started changing ever since ppl moved out from living in villages and/or from the joint family system, so today its all abt the man and the woman in question a lot more than anyone else....

its hard to say if one must favour or disfavour intercaste marriages...it all depends on the couple and each is a case unique to itself....but if a couple does marry, i think its best to leave them alone to make a life for themselves...there is one intercaste couple i know of whose case is now in court for divorce...both sides the old folk interefered so much, they made life miserable for the couple right from day one...

the girl calls the boy thanjavur thala aattu bommai bcoz he shakes his head to everything that his relatives say (he is too mild to stand up for what he feels is right) and the boy calls the girl headstrong, too independent and not the kind who 'understands' him....

i dunno what is varna-shankara in such a case really since both come from trading type of communities, just that one is a telugu and the other is a tamil.

and quoting phrases abt varna-shankara after a few millenia does not seem to make sense, considering that the world has changed with the kind of upheavels which even mahabharat times might not have witnessed.

also krishna's answer seems to be on the spot for arjuna's question, considering that he himself was born to indra and kunti...

 

[happyhindu]

pakkaiyengar,

am sure you are aware that the same demands are made by NB parents for their daughters as well..

all parents want their daughter to have a comfortable life

esp mothers who say 'i struggled or i did not have all this vasadhi in my time, atleast let my daughter have a good life'...

parents naturally have the desire to see their daughters well settled with a good guy of a good character with a good career...nothing wrong with that.

 

[pakkaiyengar]

pakkaiyengar,

am sure you are aware that the same demands are made by NB parents for their daughters as well..

all parents want their daughter to have a comfortable life

esp mothers who say 'i struggled or i did not have all this vasadhi in my time, atleast let my daughter have a good life'...

parents naturally have the desire to see their daughters well settled with a good guy of a good character with a good career...nothing wrong with that.

@ happyhindu

Respected sir,
I agree that every parents want their daughters to be happy in life iam not denying that fact, but what iam trying to state is only the unresonable expectations fro the girls side , just imagine logically 70 to 75% of men in india in the age group of 25 to 35 are not setteled completly in their life so all the girls are targetting only the remaining 25% men, i dont know you are aware or not they simply insulting saying that we dont want you. So think about the mind set of boys family ,it is not their mistake for non settling in life everybody dont get the chance to settle in life perfectly dose that mean that they are fit for northing,, this is my personal view only if iam wrong forgive me as a senoir to me both in this thread and life

cheers:cell:

 

[Nara]

Today we have to understand one basic thing about bramhin girls and how cheap they have gone(Including their parents),

I don't know how far this is true, but if it is, then I think they learned all this from the families of Brahmin boys over the years. All of what you are saying were demanded by boy's side from the girl's side.

Leaving that aside for the moment, all this is part of the blind-watchmaker, the unstoppable urge to find mates for procreation and survival.

Males of all life forms look for females of their species who possess the ability to carry the pregnancy they cause, to term, and then to look after the babies. Females of our species signal this through family background (god fearing, homely (funny word!), traditional) for fidelity and physical beauty for fertility. These are only surrogate measures, not always guaranteed. Physical beauty may be made up, and family background is what it is.

Females of all life forms look in their males the ability to protect and participate in the raising of the offspring. The males of our species signal this with higher education (B.E., M.C.A.), good job (MNC or foreign), and property (flat, car, etc.) for ability to protect and provide, and good character, family (non-smoker, teetotaler) for commitment to stay and raise children. Once again, no guarantee, a teetotaler with a lucrative job, could very well be a philanderer.

So, girls and boys, you can't find a mate in the cheap. Calling the other side cheap won't help. You have to win them over by the rules that prevail.

Cheers!

 

[amala]

Dear, friends,

As this thread is about bramhin girls marrying NB boys, i would like to share some of my views.


Today we have to understand one basic thing about bramhin girls

and how cheap they have gone(Including their parents), What i

feel is Non-Bramhin girls are more disiplined & decoremed in

comparing towards bramhin girls. why iam saying this is becoz you take for instance today when a boys family approach a girls family for marriage there are a number of cheap things asked by the girls family most of them say boy should be BE or MBA so as per their plan people other than BEs and MBAs should be bachelor for lifetime they demand that boy should have a 3bedroom flat ,in todays cost of living you can imagine one buying flat in city like chennai or bangalore .The second thing they ask is he has to own a car.Bull shit ,iam asking they are doing marriage or trading with their girl, there are other type of people who very much want the boy to be out of india atleast dubai or singapore ,if so what for boys living in india are for, This is the selfish charecter of todays bramhin girls family, they want to see foregin thro their girl they made them a travel agent. Everybody is aware there is only less girls available for marriage in bramhin community. But this is not the excat fact .there are lot of girls available but they are rejecting till they get a boy favouring their selfish dreams .That is not going to be a problem for boys becoz a man can live separatly for long time but think about women they cant. What they will do is marry other cast boys who rich and well. So at the out set Non-bramhin girls are much bett5er than bramhin girls.:heh::spy:

Wow I'm flabbergasted at such anti-brahmin girl posts and this isnt the first time I'm reading this in this forum.

To be honest this is the same question Brahmin girls are asking their parents, is this marriage or paying the guy to marry you when they ask for huge amounts of dowry (please note its not even trading as the girls side gets nothing in spite of giving their daughter...its basically paying someone to take you away).

I for one am trying to marry within the caste so to speak but all this dissing of Brahmin girls every so often on a Brahmin forum of all places makes me wonder why I bother.

 

[Nara]

Wow I'm flabbergasted at such anti-brahmin girl posts and this isnt the first time I'm reading this in this forum.

Dear Amala, just ignore these posts, they are hopefully exceptions that we can afford to ignore. You are a lovely young person and I hope you don't turn away from the rest of us because of a few outliers.

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Dear all,
Thats why the best way is marry someone who is like you in most aspects or equal standing.
I will give my example...My marriage was arranged ...since I am a doctor,my parents wanted me to marry a proffesional and my husband is an engineer.
They chose similar background.
Earning capacity is the same for proffesionals here.
I never bothered to ask about his property,car etc becos I knew since we are both proffesional we can buy property after marraige also.
I was more interested in his basic nature.
Money comes and goes...its morality which grows and grows.

I would have never wanted to marry a person who was way too much richer than me becos lifestyle will differ so i chose someone who is like me and we will build a life togather.

nowadays many want ready made life...
Nowadays since both husband and wife work..why dont both put their money togather and build a home.What is so difficult?
Both will contribute,both will save and both satisfied that its all own money.

 

[Jambu]

Recently I had to attend a spate of Arya Samaj wedding (Hindu Wedding) since one of
the spouse happens to be Brahmin Then Registration of the wedding in Registrars office And finally a weeding according to the non Brahmin traditions (including Islamic and Xian rituals)You do the wedding 3 times! Traditional Brahmin wedding seems to decline in all house holds. I will be attending one Suya Mariathai wedding (Political Dravidian style) involving one Brahmin Girl All these weddings I feel there is no fun of marriage as used to be in Traditional wedding

 

[sathya71]

Hello,

Just I'm seeing this thread and not fully viewed all posts.

I want to share my points.

Do not target Brahmin girls only or their parents.

Not only this intercaste marriage many more things happened in our culture. Why?

Actually Brahmin community should not think about money is everything but our grand grand parents forget this rule and occupied the jobs in the british govt and started to change the life style and culture of the community. Then the community start to forget our own vedas & vedic culture and follow western.

Our community only introduces the western dresses to NB people before that they were not using it. Now this affected their girls also to do intercaste marriage. The reason for the less rate the NB parents are violent and thy are going the worst end.

The girls who are respecting the culture also doing intercaste marriage. Why. We have to blame our boys, They are ready to broke the culture and forget their parents when they want to drink, smoke, eating non-veg but they will listen their parents for the dowry & looking status.

When the brahmin boy having no culture and no guts to tell his views against dowry, socially irresponsible they can find NB boys little better than them.

The girls parents looking for professional boys, green card holders and who is having money only. Both the (Girls & boys)parents never looking for the charector and family values. Having mistakes with the parents they can not blame their kids. They got what they fed.

Simply paramacharyar patahai partha vilunthu sevipom, kannathila pottupom ana avar sonnathai mattum vasathia maranthiduvom. If we remember him and his words to follow seriously we can overcome all the problems. Our community again can built our own society and lead the Nation as a leader to the world.

I want to tell one incident, Progit who is well known to me went to one home. The couple told during the conversation" umakenna oru swaha sonna 1000 rupa kidaikumpa". The progit replied yes you are right, I know a boy who has completed the veda athyanam and his parents are looking for Girl. Why don't you marry your daughter to him" The couple told no no we are looking for highly qualified, professional guys. So on their views vedam is not higher one, Not only this couple most of the society thinks like this. Also parents of same kind hesitated to send their son for Veda athyayanam. They know the treatment what a person get after veda athyayanam among the community.

If somebody's son did it great, samathu nana patichirukan. Anna ponni kodukamata. Iva paiyanai vedam padikka anupamatta. This is the position of our society.

In other thread we were discussing about whether we can support the old vedapatasala or open a new one. Why we have to do that if no one of the Brahmin community whole heartedly respect it.

Finally either we have to get back our originality or support the intercaste marriage. We do anyone whole heartedly.

I try to write my thoughts. I beg your pardon if anything hurts anybody or any mistakes in my writings.

Namaskaram

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Amala, just ignore these posts, they are hopefully exceptions that we can afford to ignore. You are a lovely young person and I hope you don't turn away from the rest of us because of a few outliers.

Cheers!

i second this. amla, best to ignore upsetting posts.

 

[sreeramhariharan]

Its horrible situation

How many of the boys are asking for Varadakshina and all these blah blahs.? From where you got these 20th Century ideas man? I have seen the problems of a brahmin girl marrying a NB Boy and they cant come back and get locked. Do you think love is the only motivating force for marriage?

Sree Ram

Hello Ram,

Your concern on this issue is understandable and to be debated in right sprits. I understand that you father in law is very religious. He has educated his daughters and might have sacrificed a lot. After her tech education, your father in law will start hunting for prospective grooms, negotiating varadakshnai, mandapam, nadhaswaram, cook, tuni, nahai, patram..........seer varisu........on a guarentee that her life will be happy ? Now as a matured 21 st centuary humans... see that if their love is not infatuation...talk to the boy on his future plans.....explain to your SIL on the praticle aspects, his and her adjustments.....
With Best Wishes,

 

[amala]

Dear Kunjuppuji, Nara mama thanks very much for the kinds words. Will do just that

 

[Iyer]

It is natural for a girl to be drawn towards a boy and vice versa. Love knows no religion or caste. Love is a chemistry of the hearts. Where does caste come into play? A sensible woman would choose to love and marry a boy who is intelligent, wise, bold, brave, courageous and who is of an exemplary character and conduct, financially sound. A girl naturally chooses a boy who will keep her happy and if she finds one she falls in love and eventually marries him regardless of caste or creed or color or religion. What is unusual in this especially in the 20th century? Why should it be perceived as Brahmin girl eloping with NB boys? Why should it be given a communal color?

 

[C RAVI]

Dear all,
Thats why the best way is marry someone who is like you in most aspects or equal standing.
I will give my example...My marriage was arranged ...since I am a doctor,my parents wanted me to marry a proffesional and my husband is an engineer.
They chose similar background.
Earning capacity is the same for proffesionals here.
I never bothered to ask about his property,car etc becos I knew since we are both proffesional we can buy property after marraige also.
I was more interested in his basic nature.
Money comes and goes...its morality which grows and grows.

I would have never wanted to marry a person who was way too much richer than me becos lifestyle will differ so i chose someone who is like me and we will build a life togather.

nowadays many want ready made life...
Nowadays since both husband and wife work..why dont both put their money togather and build a home.What is so difficult?
Both will contribute,both will save and both satisfied that its all own money.

Dr. Renuka ji,

A very perfect feedback.

If not mistaken, I believe you belong to a bit older era where girls and boys got a different mindset and now its absolutely different.

If the community blames today’s guys than all the TB guys would feel too much for anti Brahmin Boy postings. The same with TB girls when they find criticism in repeated order.

The basic fact is, both the parties would try to substantiate their views and would blame each other. No one would come forward boldly to accept what is happening in today’s society irrespective of their gender. There are exceptional boys and girls are still ought there with neutral and reasonable mind set (like you). But still most of those people seems to be protecting their own species.

Days/generations are changing very fast. Dreams and expectations are multiplying. Needs and desires are almost reaching the sky. People are competing with each other to reach the higher summit. Everyone wants the best in life and as quickly as possible. Literally there is a RACE in human society globally.

In such a case, I believe there is nothing to blame any girls and boys who wants to live the life the way they want as long as each one of them can understand and accept what they are and up to what, and keep trying for a compatible partner. As you have stated, girls and boys should try to get some one who could fit well with their life style.

"ANNAN ENNA DA, THAMBI ENNA DA, AVASARAMAANA ULAGATHILEY"

Human beings are nothing but COMODITY now a days. The more productive a person is the more or equally productive partner would be preferred. No one would be willing to spare their dreams and desires for the sake of society. Every one wants to live the way they want and there is nothing to feel about them.

Today’s TB girls are highly educated, talented, independent and are really highly productive. So, in this human race, there is nothing wrong for them to look for a partner who is at least equally productive.


So, every one in this race wants to win and keep striving for the best. If they are lucky they would get what they want. If they are unlucky they would get some one lesser than their expectations. If they are some what lucky they may stick on to husband-wife relationship till the end. Otherwise they may break up even after marriage. If they break up after marriage, only those couple need to determine as whether they were lucky or unlucky to have broken up.

A high profile guy may accept a low profile girl for her cultural values. But for sure, a high profile girl would hardly accept a low profile guy for his cultural values. I am not blaming only the girls. Even a low profile guy may hesitate to marry a comparatively high profile girl for the fear of ego clashes.

But a true love and love marriage would help bridging the gap between the couples. If a Brahmin guy and a Brahmin girl gets into true love naturally than its good for we Brahmin society to grow. Otherwise we have to accept inter-cast married couples as some one who have won the RACE.

 

[renuka]

Dr. Renuka ji,

A very perfect feedback.

If not mistaken, I believe you belong to a bit older era where girls and boys got a different mindset and now its absolutely different.

If the community blames today’s guys than all the TB guys would feel too much for anti Brahmin Boy postings. The same with TB girls when they find criticism in repeated order.

The basic fact is, both the parties would try to substantiate their views and would blame each other. No one would come forward boldly to accept what is happening in today’s society irrespective of their gender. There are exceptional boys and girls are still ought there with neutral and reasonable mind set (like you). But still most of those people seems to be protecting their own species.

Days/generations are changing very fast. Dreams and expectations are multiplying. Needs and desires are almost reaching the sky. People are competing with each other to reach the higher summit. Everyone wants the best in life and as quickly as possible. Literally there is a RACE in human society globally.

In such a case, I believe there is nothing to blame any girls and boys who wants to live the life the way they want as long as each one of them can understand and accept what they are and up to what, and keep trying for a compatible partner. As you have stated, girls and boys should try to get some one who could fit well with their life style.

"ANNAN ENNA DA, THAMBI ENNA DA, AVASARAMAANA ULAGATHILEY"

Human beings are nothing but COMODITY now a days. The more productive a person is the more or equally productive partner would be preferred. No one would be willing to spare their dreams and desires for the sake of society. Every one wants to live the way they want and there is nothing to feel about them.

Today’s TB girls are highly educated, talented, independent and are really highly productive. So, in this human race, there is nothing wrong for them to look for a partner who is at least equally productive.


So, every one in this race wants to win and keep striving for the best. If they are lucky they would get what they want. If they are unlucky they would get some one lesser than their expectations. If they are some what lucky they may stick on to husband-wife relationship till the end. Otherwise they may break up even after marriage. If they break up after marriage, only those couple need to determine as whether they were lucky or unlucky to have broken up.

A high profile guy may accept a low profile girl for her cultural values. But for sure, a high profile girl would hardly accept a low profile guy for his cultural values. I am not blaming only the girls. Even a low profile guy may hesitate to marry a comparatively high profile girl for the fear of ego clashes.

But a true love and love marriage would help bridging the gap between the couples. If a Brahmin guy and a Brahmin girl gets into true love naturally than its good for we Brahmin society to grow. Otherwise we have to accept inter-cast married couples as some one who have won the RACE.

Dear RaviJI,

Love cannot bridge gaps between couples...
At the begining of any realtionship Love will look as if its the best feeling in the world.
Reality strikes only after a while.
Differences will remain differences.

So why not settle down with what suits us the best most..our equal in education,lifestyle,religion and cultural values?
When we buy a car dont we buy what we can afford and what we need only?
We dont buy a car and try to modify it later..
Same here..with marriage.
You might think I make marriage sound so mechanical but its just analogy only.

You know in Malaysia nowadays many girls "target" boys who are well settled in life with lots of money so that life will be easy when these girls themselves are not well settled and do not work hard enough.
All they want is money and spend husbands money and never even think of welfare of children.

See even in Chandrasekhara Ashtkam its says "Shaila Raja Sutaa ParishKruta Charu Vama Kalevaram"
Parvathi is decorating left 1/2 of Shiva.No one is dominating.

This time tested formula of equal halves can never go wrong.

 

[RVR]

I feel girls study well. They get settled fast as compared to boys in the job and career. Now there is no discrimination at salary levels on gender basis.

IT, BPO, Call Centre have created equality of opportunity for both boys and girls. Girls are willing to work extended hours and also in night shifts. Unfortunately boys think big and act little. Net result, there is no matching boy for a well settled girl.

Even after marriage, girls doesn't want to leave the job. This is becoming a condition at the time of marriage.

I wish boys and their parents understand all these things. It is not like olden days when gender discrimination prevailed. Today with one or maximum two children, education is offered to all children by their parents without discrimination. Girls make use of this opportunity better than boys.

Unless our boys improve their performance, it will be difficult for them at the time of marriage.

I have written the above based on my personal observation of few boys and girls in the last few years.

All the best

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

Dear RaviJI,

Love cannot bridge gaps between couples...
At the begining of any realtionship Love will look as if its the best feeling in the world.
Reality strikes only after a while.
Differences will remain differences.

So why not settle down with what suits us the best most..........................
You might think I make marriage sound so mechanical but its just analogy only.

See even in Chandrasekhara Ashtkam its says "Shaila Raja Sutaa ParishKruta Charu Vama Kalevaram"
Parvathi is decorating left 1/2 of Shiva.No one is dominating.

This time tested formula of equal halves can never go wrong.

I find your post a moderate and reasonable practical one.

I may slightly amend your first sentence as ..'' Love alone cannot....gaps".

I concur with this. If otherwise , so much splits and divorces would not have happened at least in Love Marriages..( this qualification is mainly for Indian context,as arranged marriage is still prevalent).


Again you are right. I am with you on that...After the initial euphoria, when the superficial layer of polish wears off, the raw surface comes up. Then comes the reality... The really capable and lucky ones cope up and sail thru happily. But it may not be so for some others. If the choice woul have bee one's own ,then the feeling of guilt will be more...

As Mr Ravi has noted, I doubt that many marriages nowadays are made as a business contract-- The pre-nuptial contracts, the terms of divorce etc all point to that. whether it is same down the society status ladder, I am not sure.
(I had an occasion to be present in a family court-in a divorce case-- as a witness..That was the first and onl time i went there... to my surprise there was a big crowd... mot of them middle class and lower middle class. It set my thoughts churning at that time... A day may come when the marriage and divorce may be done online .....to meet the large numbers..??)

The best is to own up the results of one's action....and not to find justifications... or blame any system...or practice, traditional ...or modern.

But still, I wish all a Happy married life. ( those already married and those yet to get married)



Gretings

 

[C RAVI]

I feel girls study well. They get settled fast as compared to boys in the job and career. Now there is no discrimination at salary levels on gender basis.

IT, BPO, Call Centre have created equality of opportunity for both boys and girls. Girls are willing to work extended hours and also in night shifts. Unfortunately boys think big and act little. Net result, there is no matching boy for a well settled girl.

Even after marriage, girls doesn't want to leave the job. This is becoming a condition at the time of marriage.

I wish boys and their parents understand all these things. It is not like olden days when gender discrimination prevailed. Today with one or maximum two children, education is offered to all children by their parents without discrimination. Girls make use of this opportunity better than boys.

Unless our boys improve their performance, it will be difficult for them at the time of marriage.

I have written the above based on my personal observation of few boys and girls in the last few years.

All the best

Sri RVR ji,

Absolutely you are correct....

Girls are performing well in studies than guys. And there is nothing wrong for the girl and their parents to look for a guy with equal caliber. This is very much obvious. After all every one wants good standard of life with equal contribution from both husband and wife.

A well educated and well settled guy can marry a girl irrespective of her studies and earning capabilities. Where as a girl and their parents can not go for such a option. Though girls are studying a lot and earning good salary, the ultimate responsibility of securing and leading the family is on her husband. The selection of high profile guys are not only to ensure continuity of good standard of life but to be in par with high class society and the respect for the family that are purely based on Husband.

What ever there is nothing to feel for low profile guys. Girls of low profile/status are available in our society to expect and choose accordingly.

A reason of a guy's low profile/status can be many. But the only point is such guy's need to be prepared to accept a girl of the same or lesser status and should be responsible enough to live a descent life.

There are many girls in our society between 28 and 32 years who are not working and studying lots of Masters Degree like MBA, MCA etc through correspondence taking their own time. Their parents don't want them to go for work for their own many reasons. They wants to leave the option open between their daughter and the guy marrying her.

If girls parents come to know through their daughter's horoscope that her marriage would be delayed up to 28 or 32 years, they give higher education to their daughter through correspondence and seriously look for highly qualified professionals.

Whatever may be, today’s working girls and boys are smart enough to make their own calculations and marry some one they like that's leading to more of Love and Inter-cast marriages.

 

[silverfox]

I have a question: Why is it that the girl cannot not have higher qualifications (whatever that may be; maybe lots of degrees, certificates, diplomas) than the guy? It seems that the boy must be more educated than the girl he would be marrying. Never can understand that. Maybe we still have that 'macho' thing in us, guys!!!

 

[C RAVI]

It's not that guys don't want girls to be professionally qualified. Only if girls are professionally qualified, guys can have girls earning high salary as their wife. Guys prefer to marry a more highly educated girls and girls working anywhere and in any industry.

Guys who all are moderately qualified and educated and got their marriage delayed up to 30 years and even up to 35 years can mostly get alliance only from those girls who are all equally or less qualified. Others are absolutely out of scope and that are all the girls and her families preferences.

Those guys who are all moderately qualified and over due for marriage due to many reasons are finding extremely difficult to get alliance from same standards. Because majority of the matching girls with in the age group of 30 and 35 are doing lots of Correspondence education sitting at home so that they can be comfortable in getting highly qualified professionals. So that they can have a better standard of life and in par with highly qualified working professional girls who could marry a guy of equal caliber.

There are many probabilities, preferences and confusions in the society that all are the root cause of today’s Inter-Cast marriages where girls and boys want to choose their own life partner whom they like and as comfortable.

I am trying to point out one among many reasons for Inter-cast marriages. The subject of expectations, preferences and intentions of guys, girls and their parents with respect to marriage can not be determined clearly in general and can not be substantiated firmly.

 

[nachi naga]

re

I have a question: Why is it that the girl cannot not have higher qualifications (whatever that may be; maybe lots of degrees, certificates, diplomas) than the guy? It seems that the boy must be more educated than the girl he would be marrying. Never can understand that. Maybe we still have that 'macho' thing in us, guys!!!

sf,

girls with higher qualification is a plus,to be independent in their lives.its the guys who get complex via the male ego.becoz in society whether one likes it or not,is a male dominated society.its practically a male thing.

the stereo typing is the culprit.evolvement to treat women as an equal in every aspect of life,must be shown in action,from top to bottom.

a child automatically veers towards mother,no matter how much affectionate the father is.except in matriarchal societies.

nachi naga.

 

[Raghy]

I have a question: Why is it that the girl cannot not have higher qualifications (whatever that may be; maybe lots of degrees, certificates, diplomas) than the guy? It seems that the boy must be more educated than the girl he would be marrying. Never can understand that. Maybe we still have that 'macho' thing in us, guys!!!

Sri.Silver Fox,

This is not a 'macho' thing; but an 'eva' thing if there is such a thing. I went through demands from many profiles... mostly the brides or her parents demand higher education than the girl. But in the western community, it is not so. I have seen many professionally qualified girls marrying lower qualified boys.

Cheers!

 

[C RAVI]

I find your post a moderate and reasonable practical one.

I may slightly amend your first sentence as ..'' Love alone cannot....gaps".

I concur with this. If otherwise , so much splits and divorces would not have happened at least in Love Marriages..( this qualification is mainly for Indian context,as arranged marriage is still prevalent).


Again you are right. I am with you on that...After the initial euphoria, when the superficial layer of polish wears off, the raw surface comes up. Then comes the reality... The really capable and lucky ones cope up and sail thru happily. But it may not be so for some others. If the choice woul have bee one's own ,then the feeling of guilt will be more...

As Mr Ravi has noted, I doubt that many marriages nowadays are made as a business contract-- The pre-nuptial contracts, the terms of divorce etc all point to that. whether it is same down the society status ladder, I am not sure.
(I had an occasion to be present in a family court-in a divorce case-- as a witness..That was the first and onl time i went there... to my surprise there was a big crowd... mot of them middle class and lower middle class. It set my thoughts churning at that time... A day may come when the marriage and divorce may be done online .....to meet the large numbers..??)

The best is to own up the results of one's action....and not to find justifications... or blame any system...or practice, traditional ...or modern.

But still, I wish all a Happy married life. ( those already married and those yet to get married)



Gretings

Sri Suryakasyapa ji

Certainly marriages are now a days business contract....

Todays working girls and guys just want get into their own deal and get into a contract called Love Marriage.

We got American Culture in all the major metropolitan cities. Girls, Boys and their Parents are confused. People could not believe each other. Guys don't know where to compromise with working girls. Girls don't know how to choose the right person. Parents are confused between their own preferences and their children preferences.

Recently I came to know through one of my friends that, his neighbor, a Brahmin guy had to face extreme insult and anguish when the bride ran away from the marriage hall couple of minutes before Muhurtham. Girls parents have forced her daughter to marry a Software Engineer. She left a note that she is going to marry a NB guy working as accountant in Delhi with whom she was in love while working in Chennai BPO.

Brahmins guys are no exception in such things.

My 35 years old elder brother who has done MBA finance, had his horoscope perfectly matching with that of girl's who is just 2 years younger to him. But the girls parents refused the proposal stating that they are unlucky to get into alliance with our family because the girl has done BE Computer Science (but not working from the beginning). They are looking only for Software Professional working anywhere.

Such things are happening with many guys...All the guys can not be software profesionals, Engineers, Doctors..etc..etc...

Can such guys expect alliance from a girl (When the Horoscope are perfecly matching) who is an Engineer or from any other profession?


Is this a Male Ego???????