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Brahmin Girls Marrying (Attracted towards) NB Boys

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Best solution is,once the children reach adulthood,let them decide whom they want to marry within the community.Parents just bless,and advice as and when needed,instead of poking into childrens affairs.What i have written is an idea,which popped into my head.Because adults,the boy and girl,should know the decision making power,in their own lives.How long should parents be parenting?Don't parents have a life of their own,to mind their business and enjoy their retired life!

nachi naga.
 
Sri.Silver Fox,

This is not a 'macho' thing; but an 'eva' thing if there is such a thing. I went through demands from many profiles... mostly the brides or her parents demand higher education than the girl. But in the western community, it is not so. I have seen many professionally qualified girls marrying lower qualified boys.

Cheers!

Sri Raghy ji,

You are right.....I am of the same opinion

People need to accept the ground reality that’s happening around us instead of focusing on Ego.

Couples are facing lots of Ego. This “ego” is not gender specific. So pondering about Male ego or Female ego seems to be waste.

Generally we find people substantiating their points based on their experiences. Ironically we find certain sections of the society concentrating and targeting on the people who are under achiever, unmindful of the fact that the other party of equal standard is aiming higher than their daughter's profile.

We can not even say that guys/guys parents are wrong or girls/girls parents are wrong. After all every one wants to be in a better place. Blamming or getting blamed can not solve the issues on Inter-cast marriages. Things will keep going.

In such a case ridiculing Male or Female species by associating their moralities with "Ego", "Macho" etc..etc are very funny to notice.
 
We can not even say that guys/guys parents are wrong or girls/girls parents are wrong. After all every one wants to be in a better place. Blamming or getting blamed can not solve the issues on Inter-cast marriages. Things will keep going.

Chi.Ravi,

Welcome back. I agree with you. We can not place a blame on any parents, guys or girls. Girls and girls parents 'think' lower qualified boys may not be comfortable with higher qualified girls. But, I also noticed many profiles did not restrict to such narrow views. I must confess that I did not browse many 'over 26 yrs old' girl profiles though. But like Chi.Ravi rightly points out here, the inter-caste marriages are not caused due to these factors.

Cheers!
 
Dear Ravi:
I am sorry to hear about your brother's case. Now I see even the girl's side have unreasonable expectations; marriage is not 'meeting of two minds and hearts' but a business proposition!
No wonder many of them opt for other means of marriage!!

Sri Suryakasyapa ji
.........................My 35 years old elder brother who has done MBA finance, had his horoscope perfectly matching with that of girl's who is just 2 years younger to him. But the girls parents refused the proposal stating that they are unlucky to get into alliance with our family because the girl has done BE Computer Science (but not working from the beginning). They are looking only for Software Professional working anywhere.
Such things are happening with many guys...All the guys can not be software profesionals, Engineers, Doctors..etc..etc...
Can such guys expect alliance from a girl (When the Horoscope are perfecly matching) who is an Engineer or from any other profession?
Is this a Male Ego???????
 
Dear Ravi:
I am sorry to hear about your brother's case. Now I see even the girl's side have unreasonable expectations; marriage is not 'meeting of two minds and hearts' but a business proposition!
No wonder many of them opt for other means of marriage!!


Sri Silverfox ji,

Absolutely ture...that many of them opt for other means of marriage...

The most ironical fact is to find our community worrying too much about inter-cast marriages...

I could not resist laughing myslef.
 
The Inter-cast Marriages and Love marriages are dominant in Urban community & working professionals. Majority of others living in semi town and villages, still prefer the arranged marriage and, I observed, its kind of going smoothly if it is planned between equal status and in time.
 
we are the fire,the brahmin girls will love you for this post,i bet.Yes loyalty to ones own community is a sane advice.I agree with this concept of loyalty rather hating non-brahmins.

nachi naga.
 
Dear WATF,

non-Brahmin Tamils arent exactly noted for their robust statures and good looks who are arguablly the least sexually endowed people of India that Brahmin females would have to chase after them of all people in India, correct? Absolutely preposterous if you ask me

IMO, the above statement is not a good representation of the correct sentiment of brahmin community.

Besides, You sound like, brahmin girls chase other community boys for this pleasure!!.

The above description of Tamil NBs by you are not good and correct.

Regards
 
we are the fire,the brahmin girls will love you for this post,i bet.

I sense some sarcasm there? Either that or I just have not understood the jist of this sentence :) :help:

Yes loyalty to ones own community is a sane advice.I agree with this concept of loyalty rather hating non-brahmins.

Yes, in this time and age where we are from the beggining thrown into this society where the hopeless trend of political correctness consumes all, we have to do our bit to protect our own kin. We have survived all these years and we will continue to do so. The survival of our people depends on the few individual who realise the importance of it.

We should not let these evils get to us just because of the anti-Brahmin propoganda that has instilled guilt in us TamBrahms all these years.

Integration is not necessary, yet diplomacy is, our forefathers new that. That is why we are still standing and are not bred out of excistence after what, 5000 years..? And if you believe in the concept of Yugas, even more!

IMO, the above statement is not a good representation of the correct sentiment of brahmin community.

Besides, You sound like, brahmin girls chase other community boys for this pleasure!!.

The above description of Tamil NBs by you are not good and correct.

Regards

Yes, in your opinion this is not a good representation of the sentiments of the Brahmin community.

That's totally fine, everyone is entitled to their own view, the disclaimer below each post aint for nothing you know.

This is a free speech forum, and I dont see why I have to sugar coat my views in the midst of my own brethren.

I do not know which other way I may present the above mentioned, if you do have a milder way that I can adopt, I will be happy to do so.

...Brahmin girls chase NB boys for this pleasure? What are you referring to..? Do elaborate respected sir.
 
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edited by Silverfox, Super Moderator - removed the photo and posting of WeAreTheFire

Absolutely true.


Safeguarding the sentiments and feelings of Tamil Brahmins is different than understanding and exposing the reality. Unless we accept our faults and truth, we can not do anything progressively. We will end up with some spicy discussions to pass our time.

Unless the Brahmin girls from their child hood are incorporated with traditional/cultural values,, the girls would prefer to choose some one from NB boys for his heroism. The same with Brahmin Boys. They would prefer NB girls for their friendliness in general.

I have stated before as well that NB boys are found to be Heroes (whether just outwardly are in real, can not say) comparing to Brahmin boys who all generally much focused into studies and careers instead on romance.

To avoid such things and sustain Brahmin community, we need to have a much forward thinking and derive a systematic program. Such concepts would be possible only if we Brahmins unanimously join hands with team spirit.
 
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Dear WATF,

non-Brahmin Tamils arent exactly noted for their robust statures and good looks who are arguablly the least sexually endowed people of India that Brahmin females would have to chase after them of all people in India, correct? Absolutely preposterous if you ask me

What it could imply Sir.

Intercaste marriage between professional lovers is unstoppable. Many ICMs are between working professionals. The success of Intercaste marriages are also depends on how forward looking, oneself is, and how their family encourages and facilitates the meetings of the prosperous boy and girl knowingly or unknowingly. (It includes right from the family setup & treatment). Here, nothing to do with the attraction or features of NB B's.

Cheers
 
Dear WeAreTheFire:
I am sorry to have to tell you that I had to delete your posting with that picture. While I, as a fellow member, might go along with your sentiments, as an Admin, I have to look out for the welfare of this Forum. As you may well know, dark and evil forces are constantly watching us and God knows what they might do. This has happened before. Besides, we do not want to castigate any other community; let us stick to our own agenda.
Yes, this is a free and most democratic forum; yet, we need to adhere to certain guidelines. I hope you understand.
Best wishes
 
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Dear Sri Ravi,
Unless the Brahmin girls from their child hood are incorporated with traditional/cultural values,, the girls would prefer to choose some one from NB boys for his heroism


I have the feelings that the girls get attracted towards NB Boys after living with (too much of) values/traditions.:). It is very difficult in this modern world, and from the media. But, with the genuine care from the home from childhood, it will be not an issue either way. :nod:.

Cheers

 
Unless the Brahmin girls from their child hood are incorporated with traditional/cultural values,, the girls would prefer to choose some one from NB boys for his heroism. The same with Brahmin Boys. They would prefer NB girls for their friendliness in general.

Respected Ravi,
I am thrilled to know people like you are on the same page as me. It is about time us as a people were heard, even if it means having to go through some amount of persecution and contradiction.

Heroism is a joke in South India, if it is the image the Dalit fascist mediatry to project you are referring to.

They have a hidden propoganda, havent any of you noticed it? It reeks of integration propoganda. Pairing ugly 50 year old uncles with light skinned and attractive North Indian imports. Sorry for my bluntness, but we all know this is essentially how it works.

http://www.koodal.com/cinema/galler...n/azhagiya_tamil_magan_1_1011200743912123.jpg

http://i39.tinypic.com/30w819u.jpg

Disgusting if you ask me.

Not all things of the past apply in the future.

When the first waves of Brahmins came into Tamil Nadu as missionaries they mostly took local women as their wives. As in all of history, all migrations and expeditions were largely male mediated. It was always the Brahmin male who was sought after by the low caste female never the other way around. Almost all Brahmins are of local lineage maternally, whereas paternally we are almost exclusively descended of Vedic Brahmins. It was justified then, not now. We should stick to our own people!

I have stated before as well that NB boys are found to be Heroes (whether just outwardly are in real, can not say) comparing to Brahmin boys who all generally much focused into studies and careers instead on romance.

Like I said, they try to project the non-Brahmin Tamil male as sexually desirable and the ideal male, which they fail at in my opinion. In terms of sexual selection the Brahmin male is the most attractive for all Tamil females naturally.
This is exemplified by the fact that low caste females sought Brahmin males as husbands in ancient times, as I already mentioned before.

You have decent looking individuals like Ganesh Venkatraman and Siddarth Suryanarayan but they still choose to pair the pot bellied uncles with the Northern imports :mad:

Brahmins have a reputation for being schyzothemic, hygiene conscious and intelligent(in the 'nerdy' sense) but that's reality really.

Thats why in Tamil media which is full of anti-Brahmin engineering agenda, they stereotype losers as being decent and prim and proper.

Take for example in Anniyan ~

Ambi(docile, respectful) an Iyengar vs his split personality Remo(suave, "bad boy cassanova") which Sadha falls for instead

To avoid such things and sustain Brahmin community, we need to have a much forward thinking and derive a systematic program. Such concepts would be possible only if we Brahmins unanimously join hands with team spirit.

Well said brother!Kudos to you!

Cultural and racial awareness is a must for every Tamil Brahmin and is essentially need of the hour for TamBrahms.
 
Dear WeAreTheFire:
I am sorry to have to tell you that I had to delete your posting with that picture. While I, as a fellow member, might go along with your sentiments, as an Admin, I have to look out for the welfare of this Forum. As you may well know, dark and evil forces are constantly watching us and God knows what they might do. This has happened before. Besides, we do not want to castigate any other community; let us stick to our own agenda.
Yes, this is a free and most democratic forum; yet, we need to adhere to certain guidelines. I hope you understand.
Best wishes


Respected silverfox,

What was so inappropriate about the photo that it had to be deleted?

I was merely supporting my view.

Even though I will watch out for the strong statements I make in the future, I do not see why there is a need for deleting the whole post? :(
There is a disclaimer below each post as well, so I wish you had just deleted the photo and not the post.

We will and always have countered against the forces you speak of brother, but standing up for ourselves is the only way to do so.
 
re

I sense some sarcasm there? Either that or I just have not understood the jist of this sentence :) :help:

watf,

There is no sarcasm.You are only reflecting a doubt that crept in your mind.Please dont doubt me.



Yes, in this time and age where we are from the beggining thrown into this society where the hopeless trend of political correctness consumes all, we have to do our bit to protect our own kin. We have survived all these years and we will continue to do so. The survival of our people depends on the few individual who realise the importance of it.

We should not let these evils get to us just because of the anti-Brahmin propoganda that has instilled guilt in us TamBrahms all these years.

Integration is not necessary, yet diplomacy is, our forefathers new that. That is why we are still standing and are not bred out of excistence after what, 5000 years..? And if you believe in the concept of Yugas, even more!

united we stand,divided we fall.That is why constantly forces try to divide us,so that they can lord over us,and never should tambrahms should be a ruling elite.All we do now,is,have economic freedom financially,there is hardly any tambrahm in politics,worth mentioning.

Our women are so simple,but in the richer brackets,tambrahm women are greed driven,shallow and vain.

nachi naga.
 
Dear Sri Ravi,


I have the feelings that the girls get attracted towards NB Boys after living with (too much of) values/traditions.:). It is very difficult in this modern world, and from the media. But, with the genuine care from the home from childhood, it will be not an issue either way. :nod:.

Cheers

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Sri pvraman ji,

Offcourse....too much of values/taditions may make the new generation get rid of it. Genuine care for the home is mandatory.

Traditional/Cultural values should never be forced into children. If parents follow traditional values and make their kids involve into it and enjoy its richness, than that may help children to stick on to the ethinic group....I re-instate that...than that may help children to stick on to their ethinic group.

If parents are liberal and prepared to accept genuinely their childrens decision of partner selection, than offcourse there is no issue. After all people need to live life for themselves and not for others.

If parents are not in a position to follow and show the cultural richness to their children due to genuine reasons, than parents are equally helpless and generally such parents are not worried about inter-caste marriage of their children.

Going against inter-cast marriages or in favour of inter-cast marriages are just a conception of every family and every individual. Society could never, can never and will never interfere atleast in Urban areas.
 
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Our women are so simple,but in the richer brackets,tambrahm women are greed driven,shallow and vain.

nachi naga.


Oh wow this Nachiji and pray tell me what about "our" men? I wish men on here would stop speculating and second guessing about Brahmin girls and why the marry if at all NB men.
 
re

Oh wow this Nachiji and pray tell me what about "our" men? I wish men on here would stop speculating and second guessing about Brahmin girls and why the marry if at all NB men.

amala,

i meant no offence,when i wrote about our women.Nor am i speculating,because its still the men who are in charge of most families,barring a minority families of tambrahm household.Only wifes of rich successful tambrahm men,indulge in such pomp and show,and invariably drag the men to toe their line.In such instances women are indeed most powerful,in any tambrahm family.For an unmarried woman,she will get to know about it,only thru anubhavam.

Again,i regret,if i have caused unneccessary disturbance amongst our lovable women in tambrahm families.

nachi naga.
 
Oh wow this Nachiji and pray tell me what about "our" men? I wish men on here would stop speculating and second guessing about Brahmin girls and why the marry if at all NB men.


Dear Amala,

You may not be aware of the plight of Tamil Brahmins (in matrimonial aspects) in Tamilnadu or at least in Chennai where western culture is over ruling through Software companies, BPO's/Call Centers etc..

During last 5 years of my stay in Chenni between 2003 and 2007, I came to know many stories of Brahmin girls marrying NB boys and or a Brahmin girl absconding from marriage hall.

And this trend is successfully progressing :loco:


Brahmin boys as well are into love marriage with NB girls. But the ratio is very meager.

Might be because Brahmin boys are mostly into True Love :horn:
 
Sri C Ravi,

I have observed closely few cases where brahmin girls marrying other community boys and I earnestly feel that parents are also responsible to a great extent.

If the girl's father side mistreats the mother, then girl is highly affected and doesn't want to have the same treatment atleast during her career.

If father fails to earn and perform his duties, then he has no control over the girl.

My close study of few cases reveals any one of the above causes for the problem.

I have also observed that the proportion of intercaste marriage is high among brahmin girls as compared to boys.
 
Sri C Ravi,

I have observed closely few cases where brahmin girls marrying other community boys and I earnestly feel that parents are also responsible to a great extent.

If the girl's father side mistreats the mother, then girl is highly affected and doesn't want to have the same treatment atleast during her career.

If father fails to earn and perform his duties, then he has no control over the girl.

My close study of few cases reveals any one of the above causes for the problem.

I have also observed that the proportion of intercaste marriage is high among brahmin girls as compared to boys.


Sri RVR ji,


Perfectly true.

But I would like to state that, such family problems are very well existing in NB families as well.

Whether its NB or Brahmins, the girls and boys of these suffering families prefer to opt for love marriage, expecting and dreaming for a friendly and loving mate.

Since we can find NBs more than Brahmins working in a office, these suffering NB girls might be able to choose one among them. But such Brahmin girls got limited chance to get close to a Brahmin boys not only because of Brahmin guys are few in numbers, but due to Brahmin boys being unmindful of Love sense as well and romancing perfectly with a girl, taking her around the city.

NB guys found to be more carefree of the society and do what they want for the sake of his love and romancing. This attracts girls in general. Brahmin girls have the same dreams and desires as NB girls. After all girls are girls having same natural tendencies. Only thing is Brahmin girls hardly find a romantic Brahmin hero.

This makes them to look for such guys in NB community and could succeed finding one for her life unmindful of future repercussions of such actions. Some are lucky and some are unlucky.
 
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You are correct Ravi.

I have also seen NB boys targeting Brahmin girls. They are willing to walk extra miles to marry a brahmin girl. Brahmin girls with internal problems fall into the trap.

The other side will look always green. Only after getting into the other side only, truth will be known.

It is a social and psychological problem which we have to address as a society.

All the best
 
Sri RVR ji,

That's what I feel personally from the beginning.

Society is the root cause of all the plus and minus of today’s random changes.

We Brahmins need to take some proactive steps to secure and strengthen our community.

Keeping in mind the present trend where boys and girls are independent and courageous enough to take on their own life time decisions, we need to seriously think of revamping our social structure, believe system and living style.

These changes should be constructive and should be the source of strength to today’s generation boys, girls and their parents to be happy and mentally relieved from unnecessary disturbances, sustaining our rich Brahmin culture and ethnic identity.

Boys and girls are struggling between their Parents-Society-and their Own Sensual Feelings. If all these three factors are synchronized effectively, than I believe we can see a better tomorrow.

We need to be visionary, team spirited and courageous to go a long way revamping our system.

Such a progressive set up is imperative to stop blaming each other and keep watching the problems brewing with in our community.

If we could have the interest, strength and courage to consider ourselves as Non-Vedic Brahmins, than we should be much mind full of sustaining Non-Vedic Brahmin society so that we should not be just in the history/social science books of future generation.

I strongly believe that 99% of boys and girls from Vedic Brahmin society are not into inter-cast marriage.

So it’s the need of the hour for we Non-Vedic Brahmin families to join hands and work together with team spirit.
 
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