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Indesent Dressing by Girls

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Why is that many Indian men feel that Foreign /NRI /PIO Women are freely available and can one do anything with them without their consent ?

Dear Sir,

God knows why...may be they think NRI/PIO/Foreigners are sluts!

But sometimes I wonder why these guys never take a look in the mirror to see even if a slut will actually find them attractive!

A slut might have her own taste of men too!

From what I have noted when I was in India..good looking men NEVER misbehaved with any girl..it was always some loser looking men like our college professor who would be perverted in thoughts.

The boys in my class used to hate this college proff cos they did not like him manhandling their girlfriends...the guys even had a name for him..since he was bald they called him
"Mottai Pu@#%"....I leave it to members imagination to fill in the blanks!LOL
 
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Shri Krishna,

Do the Canadians have any answer for the child molestation which happens there? Is it because the Canadians (male and female) are generally of deviant psychology? Does anyone in India, or in this Forum, argue for the rapists?

All that we are saying is that just as one has to be extra careful about their kidswhile visiting Canada or USA, about the possibility of child molestation, people coming to India should ensure that womenfolk desist from wearing short and revealing clothes/dresses.

Let us agree that each country has its own minus points and dark spots. Nothing in India which calls for so much hullabaloo about rape, rapists, their psychology, etc. Unfortunately, we have a government which does not know this country and its gaze is fixed on the west only.

Well said!!!

But still some members would not understand or would not agree, because, for them what all we say is idiotic and pathetic..LOL!!!!
 
Dr Renu

You can never convince *most people* with facts even in scientific/engineering profession. Most decisions seemingly (no fact based proof here :-) are actually made at an emotional level and facts are used later to justify the decision.


and

Since Tamil movies cannot show prolonged sex scenes they introduce some sex related topics often via rape. An average sex starved male learns to equate rape as an act of sex though they know it is a crime. When a rape scene comes in a movie they may not get turned off by violence (like they would if they saw a murder scene) but feel a sense of sexual excitement. For someone who is used to that emotional association they tend to think that women who dress in a provocative manner tormenting sex-starved males are somehow responsible for a rapist to feel the urge driven by sexual desire. This is an emotional association that cannot be reasoned by any argument or more importantly by any facts.

1. Your post # 82 by you was nice and sound,

2. This portion of your current post is illogical to say the least. You are ignoring your own observation in the first para and force fit your views. Just take into account the number of movies made in Tamil, Hindi, English or in any other language for that matter, (that contain some form of rape scene), the number of movie goers and the number of rapists getting egged on by these scenes. There is absolutely no co-relation.
 
Why should we have such long discussions? My FIL's house, in the plot of land next to mine had a very weak door at the rear and any one could sense that in just one look. The next door leading from the outermost rear verandah was solid wooden door and so my FIL was of the view that if at all any thief tries he would only be able to access the outermost verandah which had only the grinding stones (ammi, ATTukkal, tirukai and some junk items). When my in-laws had gone to their son's house, during one particularly heavy rainy season, one thief had got in, possibly remained for a few days, opened each and every room and stolen almost all valuables; he had left several smoked bidi pieces and a dirty latrine!!

The issue here is very similar, according to me. You keep your house almost open and exibit the assets and tempt the thief to the maximum extent to come in through the almost open door. And then expect that everything should be more than a Ram Rajya and there should be no thief; and that too in a country which deifies krishna who was very expert in getting himself smeared all over with the kumkum from the पीन पयोधरs (pīna payodharas = large, voluminous breasts) of already married and unmarried gopis who had a sexual obsession about him !!

Shri Sangom,

Let me tell you what will be the possible post from other side on your example.

They will say that the thief has the criminal mind and its not the error on part of your FIL to have left the rear week door as it is.

It would be utterly idiotic on part of any one who jumps in advising your FIL and blaming his carelessness.

Thieves should be punished with strictest law and people should be allowed to live in peace without the need to feel guilty and suffer personal damage AND without giving an excuse in favor of the thief that, he has been given an opportunity to do the crime.

:lol:
 


and



1. Your post # 82 by you was nice and sound,

2. This portion of your current post is illogical to say the least. You are ignoring your own observation in the first para and force fit your views. Just take into account the number of movies made in Tamil, Hindi, English or in any other language for that matter, (that contain some form of rape scene), the number of movie goers and the number of rapists getting egged on by these scenes. There is absolutely no co-relation.


Shri Zebra,

Many such horrific posts are appearing here.LOL!!!!

This is the impact of present time revolutionary thinkers who could achieve extraordinarily brilliant intellectual levels and are figuring out what is what in a scientific manner. LOL!!
 
Not necessarily . In an Old Tamil MGR Movie , the heroine KR Vijaya who is a modern Urban women comes to Village in a so called Modern Dress ( Modren dress of that era ) and on seeing her a villager tries to Molest her and the hero MGR Comes and saves KR Vijaya and asks the Villager why he has to molest her as he has a good and dutiful wife , kids etc . That Villager says that he got aroused seeing KR Vijaya in her modern dress and hence did that . Then MGR Advises KR Vijaya ( basically he was advising all the other modern women at that time ) to dress respecting the rules of that place and culture otherwise they will end up in these sort of trouble . There was no advise for that Man :shocked:
Had that movie come in today's time all the Women Organizations would have thrashed MGR in to a pulp for giving such a sort of advice :deadhorse:


Dear Sir,

So that means MGR too felt that the average Indian male is a potential rapist!

But actually I find most Tamil movies illogical where they show the heroine wearing modern dress in village!

Who actually wears a modern dress to village?

Even when I go to India..if I am in a remote area..I will wear covered up clothes.


But you know sir...even while being covered up still people ask you why you are covered up!

I was in Whitefield once to see Sathya Sai Baba and I wore Salwar Kameez in the Ashram and covered my head with Dupatta cos it was hot and also I like covering up my head when I pray outside home.

Then one old lady near me asked me where I was from originally in India.
I told her I am a Tamilian by origin and she started speaking to me in Tamil and then she remarked..'But it is not Tamil culture to cover one's head? Why are you covering your head?"

I was thinking ""what a country...if you expose, it is wrong...if you cover also its wrong!"
 

But still some members would not understand or would not agree, because, for them what all we say is idiotic and pathetic..LOL!!!!

See...you think what some say is idiotic and some think what you say is idiotic.

So its Idiot Vs Idiot..I don't see any problem in that?
 
I was thinking ""what a country...if you expose, it is wrong...if you cover also its wrong!"

When "cover" in India means like how any normal Indian women cover themselves and not like how a Saudi Women cover themselves :)
 
God knows why...may be they think NRI/PIO/Foreigners are sluts!

It is high time the tourist department and other people in the Media educate the people about not branding all NRI/PIO/Foreign women as sluts especially when they travel alone . Even if she is a slut the cardinal rule is Thou shall not approach a women sexually without her consent .
 
When "cover" in India means like how any normal Indian women cover themselves and not like how a Saudi Women cover themselves :)

LOL!

Covering like this pic..is still very much Indian isn't it?..to keep the suns rays away..

images
 

Dear Renu,

You say that your prof was misbehaving with NRI / POI girls only. Even when I was in school, masters used to touch the

little girls - in pAvadai, chattai stage - unnecessarily. It was definitely NOT brotherly / fatherly affection. There was also

a dance master who used to check if a teenaged girl was running temperature, by touching 'chOli ke peechE kyA hei' and

not her forehead! I think most of the guys have a crooked mind and to find a real good ones might be difficult! Many thAthAs

also take advantage of their age and touch the grown up girls, who are not even related to them! I have also written about

an Iyer guy who went on hugging (not the light shoulder hug!) every lady who was introduced to him because hugging is a

norm in the U S of A. He acted as if he was born and brought up there but the way he hugged showed his bad intentions. :evil:


And .......... This type of behaviour does NOT depend on the dressing style of ladies. :tsk:
 


and



1. Your post # 82 by you was nice and sound,

2. This portion of your current post is illogical to say the least. You are ignoring your own observation in the first para and force fit your views. Just take into account the number of movies made in Tamil, Hindi, English or in any other language for that matter, (that contain some form of rape scene), the number of movie goers and the number of rapists getting egged on by these scenes. There is absolutely no co-relation.



First of all you are right in the sense that the part of this later post you are referring to is pure conjuncture on my part since I have not seen any full length movie in a theater in decades. I at best flip channels and see parts of a few movie once in a few months. I was posting a less serious note more in tune with Dr Renu who I was replying. Please understand the context of the two posts.

. The number of times rape scenes that appear in all movies in my view is irrelevant and has nothing to do with my statement. That is your spin.

Most people here and elsewhere have notions of rape and images in their head only from movies and news articles. Many of us in our lifetimes have seen such a scene in some movie somewhere and hopefully never have to deal with a real life event.

If rape is equated as sex (and there is this if) then it is possible to understand why some people may associate ideas of revealing clothes motivating a sexual thought leading to rape. If they have association that it is a violent crime of power much like that of a violent murder then they will will not associate a sexy dress as a cause of rape.

Again I will not try to argue further since it is emotionally drawn conclusion that rape is sex.
 
Nice summary. But what is missing is what the rapists say or confess to. The psychologists and the police impose their perceptions on the perpetrator. It is not simple as it seems.

Many rapists claim that a particular scene in a tv show or cinema has triggered a reaction, but the real action is far away in time and space, meaning in a different place, different time and different victim. So the person who initially triggered may not become the victim.

A set of advice from US source for the potential victim is to fight, not to succumb, injure and try to run away, even if threatened with death. It is better to run away if a gun is pointed at, as he is likely miss the shot while running. But in the Nirbhaya case, it is said the that the rapists became cruel because the girl resisted.

It will be difficult to categorize all rapes under a few heads, as is being attempted. A rape is a rape and it is not correct to attribute anything to the victim, as she may nit have anything to do. All rapists must be caught and punished severely. The new trend of some converting concentual act to rape for any unfulfilled dream is a cause for worry. Even though the courts have ruled that the character and previous life of the girl has no relevance, the defence lawyers always work hard to tarnish the girl.

More than 80% of the rapes are done by the people the girls trust - relatives, friends, neighbours, and they with some hold or authority on the girl.

There is no simple universal solution. The family and society must boycott them, whether they land up in jail or not.


Dear All

The assumptions underlying the above statement is incorrect and not supported by facts gathered by those who are in crime investigation and crime prevention all their life.

There was a documentary made in 1980s that teaches how to be not a victim of a violent crime (like rape). If I can find a link to that documentary I will post that for the benefit of all.

A person who has spent his whole life in crime investigation (more than one thousand murders and large number of rape cases) as a head of Police unit has many useful advice in that documentary. Let me share one such advice.

A criminal acts of out of instincts and *selects their victim*. Unless it is a premeditated rape/murder the selection is always instinctive and they go after the one that offers an opportunity. An important advice therefore is not to be 'selected' to play victim.

A house which has an appearance of a home security system or a presence of a killer dog (perhaps a dog bowl outside) is highly less likely to be burglarized even if the homeowner does not have a dog or a centralized home security system. It is all about perception of vulnerability.

Even in animal kingdom the predator goes after the weakest animal that has strayed a bit from the crowd and certainly not the one that runs the fastest.

Wearing 'revealing dress' (which itself is a subjective item) is rarely relevant in assessing the opportunity for a predator. The rapist does not always select the most attractive member - they choose their victim if the victim find themselves in a vulnerable situation. Recently there was a case of a 85 year old woman raped by a teen because she happened to be vulnerable.

These criminals do not go around looking for those who wear the most "revealing clothing" and then awards their selection by trying to rape them. Instead anyone who finds themselves in a bad situation (like taking a shortcut through less crowded streets at night) are made to play the victim.

Let me summarize:

1. Rape is a violent act of serious aggression and not a sensual act. It is about someone who wants to assert power over another person who is weak.

2. Victims are selected by their situational vulnerability - the advice is to take precautions so as to be NOT selected.

To be not selected does not mean one has to be very strong - it means one has to take common sense precautions so that there are no obvious vulnerabilities apparent to a criminal.

It has nothing to do with what one wears or how 'attractive or ugly' one may seem (contrary to what is 'taught' in silly Indian movies)
 
The trigger is the mango, but the stone falls on the head of a passerby.


That assumption beats all logic. Mr. TKS a law enforcing agent debunked that in his post.
I have shown a 4 year old an 82 year old being raped, where is the revealing dress coming from.
 
This is only a discussion.each one of us have a right to put up our opinion; let us also not get emotional in this.

All we say is that women should be prudent in wearing their dresses according to the place, culture, and tradition; A Canadian or An US Citizen can run on the roads in US , barely dressed, but when they go to Saudi Arabia or any Part of Muslim world , they are not supposed to wear such dresses as per that country's culture, the same is the case with India.

These people argue, " No.. anywhere in the world they can run naked, and Rapes happen not because of their Dress, but because of Male Domination etc etc..

Learned Member sangom Sir has given a beautiful story of a thief entering a house which is widely open and steel, in the same way
although women are free to choose their dresses and wear, but they should shut any possibility of their modesty being invaded by wearing prudent dress according to place.

This simple logic is not understood by some.!!
 
There is seductive rape, as with ahalya. At least she knew who is responsible and was carried away by the importance of the hero/villain. Anyway she acknowledged her indiscretion and accepted punishment.

All ascetics are scantily dressed; even out great grandmothers were simply dressed. Violent rape is a modern phenomenon, perhaps from invasion period.

In the lands of burkha, the woman is always responsible, as seen from rape cases reported in the press.

So here's a question. Assuming women in ancient India were well-dressed and conservative, was there no rape 500 years ago? Or 1000 years ago?

Was Ahalya always seductively dressed? Is there no rape or adultery in the land of the burkha? Why there is rape even among animals!
 
That proves the point that trigger does not get the hit. If the heroine gets raped the censor will ban the movie.

Dear All,


I have solid evidence that sexy/revealing dresses does not cause rape!

Tamil Movies have the answer!

Have you ever seen an item number hot chick getting raped in Tamil Movies? No isn't it?


We always see a Padavai Thavani clad hero's younger sister running in the woods screaming "Anna Anna" and she ends up getting raped!

I was thinking about this just now...since as a medical professional I am unable to convince some members that type of clothes does not matter to a rapist...I thought hard and found cinema based evidence!LOL
 
Our former president Pratiba Patil, almost her nomination for her statement in a public meeting - that women cover their heads to protect them from muslims. As she was the consensus candidate, a woman and from maharashtra (she got shiva sena's support) she was lucky.

'But it is not Tamil culture to cover one's head? Why are you covering your head?"

I was thinking ""what a country...if you expose, it is wrong...if you cover also its wrong!"
 
Some churches in Goa have started the practice of refusing entry to indecently dressed tourists. Today's news. Sign boards are put up and guides have been informed to convey this new dress control order.

Hindu temples in ponda, in goa, had this dress advisory for some time.

It is high time the tourist department and other people in the Media educate the people about not branding all NRI/PIO/Foreign women as sluts especially when they travel alone . Even if she is a slut the cardinal rule is Thou shall not approach a women sexually without her consent .
 
Well said!!!

But still some members would not understand or would not agree, because, for them what all we say is idiotic and pathetic..LOL!!!!

Dear Shri Ravi,

You might have observed by now that PJ sir made the OP, probably after witnessing very scantily clad young women walking/jogging in the mornings in the US, where he and his wife currently are. He might have thought that if such a thing happens in any part of India (from the capital New Delhi to Jhumri Telaiya in Jharkhand) it is likely to provoke an attack of some kind on such girls/women. And that is but true, today. May be Indian men have all become borderline rapists !!;)

But to me it appeared that our expat friends were merely trying to say, "Look! how good a country we are living in, and how bad is India!!". Of course, they expected concurrence but when the response was different, it became an issue to be argued out and won; that was all.

Luckily, (or unluckily) this new member mkrishna100 comes in and says one should not touch small children in Canada; this applies equally in US also. My son had told us that even a continued look or gaze at a baby-in-arms will be considered boorish.

What I found when I was in US about 10 years ago was that some women/girls used to go around in the most skimpy clothes (the "barely there" type) though the majority was adequately dressed according to that country's norms. But it is a country which believes more in the bodily pleasures than in ideals like liberation, moksha, and similar other-worldly ideals which are more important in India. Therefore, women possibly try to show off their allure to the maximum. This, together with the fact that the fair complexion of people there is something like a "cooked" skin, one colleague of mine used to say that the women in the US and other western countries, looked more like "raw mutton"!! Perhaps he had a point in that observation.

May be due to my old age, or may be because of my personal biases and inclination, I used to feel a kind of dislike and also sympathy for those women who are forced to fight against nature and maintain themselves youngish-looking, up and solid (like the guns of Navarone) irrespective of their age; I used to wonder how blessed were our Malayali old women two or more generations ago - they could even walk safely to the evening market to buy goods, holding a walking stick and clad only in dhoti (kerala style mundu) and nothing above their waist!:) There was no rape then as we have today.
 
That proves the point that trigger does not get the hit. If the heroine gets raped the censor will ban the movie.
Dear Sir,

Didn't you read this post? The girl (actually a bride about to get married) who gets molested is the heroine of the story!

..... There was also a stupid movie in which a girl is 'spoiled' by a thug for getting some money. Soon the girl

settles in the house near the horrible place he lives in and woos him to marry her - Tamil culture! When will

such silly kind of movies stop being screened?
:mad2:
 

The movie which I call as a stupid one gets so many awards!! :dizzy:

"Pudhiya Paadhai is a 1989
Tamil comedy drama film written and directed by R. Parthiban. Parthiban's directorial debut,

it features himself in the lead role as an inhumane ruffian who gets reformed by his
rape victim, portrayed by Seetha.

The film released to critical acclaim and emerged a box-office success, while also winning several accolades including

two
National Film Awards, and two Tamil Nadu State Film Awards."

Source: Pudhea Paadhai
 
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