Is the Community digging its own grave

[sangom]

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In my limited experience and to my limited intelligence, there are two major factors which prod our youngsters - and more so, our young girls - to get attracted to opposite sex in different castes are the following:—

• Of late, young minds attach most importance to the physical aspects of marital bliss and do not give much importance to points like maintaining (continuing) family traditions, practices, etc.
• The younger generation girls who are, in many cases, the first in the line to come out of the traditional mold of a housewife and get exposed to the outer world and also about hindu religion, philosophy, etc., do find that the hindu religion is like a பஞ்சு மிட்டாய் (pañcu miṭṭāy = cotton candy, lit.); i.e., great mass but little substance! This realization together with the (usually) great importance being attached to such a belief system by their parents and elders, makes them to express their revolt by means of a signal step - viz., loving a non-brahmin/non-hindu and marrying him against all the opposition from parents and elders. (Tabra boys, on the contrary, instinctively take a liking to the predominantly male-oriented hinduism/brahminism and the importance they get under such a dispensation, and so only a few start thinking out of the ordinary and go in for inter-caste marriage, even though, at present it has become a herculean task or a billion $ lottery, if below-par tabra boys have to get a tabra wife.

I, therefore, feel that the first requirement is to think logically and remove all the cobwebs of unwanted beliefs and practices (as also in the overall hindu religious system) which exist in our brahmin way of life. Secondly, we have to become conscious of the trend that our tabra girls now give more importance to the physical appearance of their would-be spouses; accordingly, instead of bringing up our boys in the time-honoured way, and making them into typical அம்மாஞ்சிs (ammāñcis), we the parents and elders should start giving equal importance to their physical development as also in going out and wooing a girl of their choice, instead of sticking to the old customs like matrimonial ads, horoscope matching, etc.

IC and IR marriages cannot be prevented theoretically. Even 80 or so years ago my mother-in-law's maternal uncle's daughter, who became a graduate in those days, married a Muslim. She was promptly discarded from the entire brahmin circles but the moral that I am trying to emphasize is that it will be even more impossible today. The basic fault lies in our educating our girls. We must think hard as to whether we as a caste can stand united and stop sending our girls to school. (AFAI have seen, we tabras will be only eager to break this common understanding, even if reached, so that some additional benefit will accrue to "my family". Group loyalty is sadly lacking in the tabra genes I will say.)

Note:

I have not written anything above with the express, implied or indirect intention of belittling tabras or brahmins, etc. Hence, I would request honourable members not to impute any such motive/s and bring in the bogey of "brahmin-bashing", etc. These are the facts which I feel are the truth and I have put them down in typing, to the best of my capacity. That's all.

 

[renuka]

Why does a person who loves his/her brother or sister without reservation, when he/she had no choice or option, has to put such a premium on the parental love and demand my way or highway in respect of marriage?

Dear Zebra ji,

That is the unique attraction which we call love but I would rather call attraction for continuation of species.....we hardy see anyone committing suicide when their parents/siblings die but enough people jump off the cliff when love fails or even when lover dies.

Continuation of species is an innate nature of living beings..so anything that comes in that way is promptly bull dozed..after all even this whole thread is about continuation of species right??

Just to add...love between parents..child..siblings does not come with physical intimacy.

Love between a couple in love will come with physical intimacy after marriage..so that is why some people choose to sacrifice everything for love cos they find it hard break off with that person for the sake of parents.
cos it is not easy for most people to marry someone else (when they are in love with another) and sleep with someone they have no attraction at all.

 

[sravna]

In my limited experience and to my limited intelligence, there are two major factors which prod our youngsters - and more so, our young girls - to get attracted to opposite sex in different castes are the following:—

• Of late, young minds attach most importance to the physical aspects of marital bliss and do not give much importance to points like maintaining (continuing) family traditions, practices, etc.

I do not understand what Shri.Sangom implies by this. Does he mean that tamil brahmin boys lack in physical aspects which I take to mean as physical attractiveness, outward personality or the ability to provide physical comforts? I find this reason untenable.

• The younger generation girls who are, in many cases, the first in the line to come out of the traditional mold of a housewife and get exposed to the outer world and also about hindu religion, philosophy, etc., do find that the hindu religion is like a பஞ்சு மிட்டாய் (pañcu miṭṭāy = cotton candy, lit.); i.e., great mass but little substance! This realization together with the (usually) great importance being attached to such a belief system by their parents and elders, makes them to express their revolt by means of a signal step - viz., loving a non-brahmin/non-hindu and marrying him against all the opposition from parents and elders. (Tabra boys, on the contrary, instinctively take a liking to the predominantly male-oriented hinduism/brahminism and the importance they get under such a dispensation, and so only a few start thinking out of the ordinary and go in for inter-caste marriage, even though, at present it has become a herculean task or a billion $ lottery, if below-par tabra boys have to get a tabra wife.

I think the rebellion is not because the girls are really able to see that Hindu religion is like பஞ்சு மிட்டாய் but because the world has deluded them into thinking that there is no merit in our beliefs. Their course can be corrected but I think it should be done by reason.

I, therefore, feel that the first requirement is to think logically and remove all the cobwebs of unwanted beliefs and practices (as also in the overall hindu religious system) which exist in our brahmin way of life. Secondly, we have to become conscious of the trend that our tabra girls now give more importance to the physical appearance of their would-be spouses; accordingly, instead of bringing up our boys in the time-honoured way, and making them into typical அம்மாஞ்சிs (ammāñcis), we the parents and elders should start giving equal importance to their physical development as also in going out and wooing a girl of their choice, instead of sticking to the old customs like matrimonial ads, horoscope matching, etc.

I don't think that there are any cobwebs unless you are referring to those practices that
have crept in to the system and which are not supported by our philosophy.

Again, I think the main reason why we see the rebellion is because tamil brahmin girls being intelligent developed the trait of intellectual independence under the influence of the modern belief system. Since all that we offer in favor of our culture is not supported by reason the beliefs in them do not happen. Adding fuel to the fire is the overwhelming pragmatic success of the prevailing world philosophy. The pragmatic success makes the girls believe in them.

 

[sangom]

[/LIST]

I do not understand what Shri.Sangom implies by this. Does he mean that tamil brahmin boys lack in physical aspects which I take to mean as physical attractiveness, outward personality or the ability to provide physical comforts? I find this reason untenable.


I think the rebellion is not because the girls are really able to see that Hindu religion is like [/FONT][/SIZE] பஞ்சு மிட்டாய் but because the world has deluded them into thinking that there is no merit in our beliefs. Their course can be corrected but I think it should be done by reason.



I don't think that there are any cobwebs unless you are referring to those practices that
have crept in to the system and which are not supported by our philosophy.

Again, I think the main reason why we see the rebellion is because tamil brahmin girls being intelligent developed the trait of intellectual independence under the influence of the modern belief system. Since all that we offer in favor of our culture is not supported by reason the beliefs in them do not happen. Adding fuel to the fire is the overwhelming pragmatic success of the prevailing world philosophy. The pragmatic success makes the girls believe in them.

Dear Shri Sravna,

My first reaction to the above was that it contains merely your views (as against mine) and so, I should better not respond. But when I read the last para (highlighted by me in bold, blue fonts) I started wondering whether you are not repeating my own views but in different words. Will you kindly elucidate the differences, if any?
[/FONT][/SIZE]

 

[renuka]

[/FONT][/SIZE]
[/LIST]

I do not understand what Shri.Sangom implies by this. Does he mean that tamil brahmin boys lack in physical aspects which I take to mean as physical attractiveness, outward personality or the ability to provide physical comforts? I find this reason untenable.


I think the rebellion is not because the girls are really able to see that Hindu religion is like [/FONT][/SIZE] பஞ்சு மிட்டாய் but because the world has deluded them into thinking that there is no merit in our beliefs. Their course can be corrected but I think it should be done by reason.



I don't think that there are any cobwebs unless you are referring to those practices that
have crept in to the system and which are not supported by our philosophy.

Again, I think the main reason why we see the rebellion is because tamil brahmin girls being intelligent developed the trait of intellectual independence under the influence of the modern belief system. Since all that we offer in favor of our culture is not supported by reason the beliefs in them do not happen. Adding fuel to the fire is the overwhelming pragmatic success of the prevailing world philosophy. The pragmatic success makes the girls believe in them.

Dear Sravna,

If you go through Sangom ji's post..you will actually realize he has given practical advise for the TB community.

Ok let me share with you...out here the Indian community guys tend to marry Non Indians and this is a worry some trend cos some involves conversion by law and many Indian girls are finding it hard to get married.

So you see a practical minded person will try to find out why this is happening and how to combat these.

Obesity and over weight seems a problem for Indian women worldwide.

The average Indian woman out here is seldom very slim and after marriage mostly become fat....many guys cite this an excuse and the reply from Indian girls is "why should I slim down..he should marry me the way I am"

See this is not being practical...so the advise I give Indian girls is to take care of themselves and look attractive and not let anyone think they are less attractive than other races....do not be over traditional when it comes to dressing and be fashionable within limits.

One has to realize why somethings occur..the practical minded find the causative factor and try to solve it but the less practical minded let sentiments cloud their mind.

So please take Sangom Ji's post as practical advise.

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear Ravi

It is not your fault if someone was surprised [ or disappointed ] and became curious to do research on
what lies behind a komanam. Shows how innocent people are - they have to do research on the topic !

I don't think any man ever did any research to unravel "Victoria's Secret". Might be fun to have a men's
equivalent brand say, something like "Churchill's Confidentiality" / " Manmohan's Mystery ".

Ok, just forget the komanam and other lingerie - nobody is taking a personal dig at you. But your
over-reaction will only motivate these 'research scholars' to pursue their study more vehemently.

Cheer up, Sheikh.

Yay Yem

 

[sarang]

I agree; the present say two generations were exposed to a rapidly changing environment and pursued the purushartas they thought was needed and desirable. The parents, peers and hostile political environment - all contributed. Since the enhanced basic needs and the urge to earn wealth and security are all achieved to a great extent, many tambram and bram parents - both in India and in the West are drawn back to the old values, beliefs, systems and sampradayam. This is a good sign. A sizable portion of the next generation will find an affinity with their ancestors' ways suitably merged with modern living.

You advise to parents to inculcate brahmin values (followed in their families) from day 1 is the best course available. I would like to add one more - like the good touch and bad touch to be taught to kids, good/bad sampradayic thoughts, practices, people, beliefs must be taught or told to the kids from a very early age.

Too much of hair splitting on this issue !!. In the 70s, the whites rejected their religion & became hippies & an entire generation was lost. After that expensive experiment, most whites have come back to conservative roots. Today there is a large majority of whites following Christianity more than ever!!

Despite all these modernity, I know some folks who are highly educated working in corporate, sending their kids to study Vedam. So the more people go out of traditions, there are many who are going back strongly to the roots.

So this is a cycle & has to happen for the next generation to learn the pros & cons of marrying outside. Today for a lot of Brahmin kids & even NB kids, like to rebel, go against all the ancient culture & marry outside. It has become a fashion, show off, rebel & set a path like a lone ranger like in the American movies – LOL!!. Give 20/30 yrs, none of their kids will be able to marry into the community. Then that lesson will percolate to the next gen, who will then be more cautious in marrying outside!!

So in the meanwhile, as parents educate your kids the pros and cons of marrying outside. Also the most important thing the Brahmin parents can do is to get their kids to follow traditions from day 1. For eg if a boy or girl gets into carnatic music or study vedic slokams, etc.. , they will automatically choose Bram partners. It is all in the way you groom your kids. If you get into these forums & learn all the wrong things, saying everything is okay, I am okay for my kids to marry anyone or anything, I give a lot for freedom to my kids, then you will be facing such issues in your families!!

I know many folks who are into IC/IR marriages who blame their parents for not guiding them properly the pros, cons & cry over it when it is too late to do anything!! By the way, many in this forum are from the IC/IR group, hence they are loudly proclaiming all this, so follow them at your own peril !!

 

[sravna]

Dear Shri Sravna,

My first reaction to the above was that it contains merely your views (as against mine) and so, I should better not respond. But when I read the last para (highlighted by me in bold, blue fonts) I started wondering whether you are not repeating my own views but in different words. Will you kindly elucidate the differences, if any?

Dear Shri Sangom,

According to you: Tamil brahmin girls rightly believe that the hindu beliefs are without substance
What I said : Tamil brahmin girls erroneously believe that the hindu beliefs are without substance.

Actually the situation is more complex than it seems to from my above statement but in my view gives an idea about the reality.

 

[sravna]

Dear Sravna,

If you go through Sangom ji's post..you will actually realize he has given practical advise for the TB community.

Ok let me share with you...out here the Indian community guys tend to marry Non Indians and this is a worry some trend cos some involves conversion by law and many Indian girls are finding it hard to get married.

So you see a practical minded person will try to find out why this is happening and how to combat these.

Obesity and over weight seems a problem for Indian women worldwide.

The average Indian woman out here is seldom very slim and after marriage mostly become fat....many guys cite this an excuse and the reply from Indian girls is "why should I slim down..he should marry me the way I am"

See this is not being practical...so the advise I give Indian girls is to take care of themselves and look attractive and not let anyone think they are less attractive than other races....do not be over traditional when it comes to dressing and be fashionable within limits.

One has to realize why somethings occur..the practical minded find the causative factor and try to solve it but the less practical minded let sentiments cloud their mind.

So please take Sangom Ji's post as practical advise.

Dear Renuka,

I agree it is a well meant advice. When a problem is analyzed, all may not agree on the cause. It is good that the problem is analyzed but till a consensus emerges on the cause, the discussion will contain disagreements and differing points of view.

 

[prasad1]

I have few questions and want to know if there are general agreements in the answers.

1. Can anyone enumerate the key qualities of the culture and key traditional values that need to be preserved?
2. What does preservation mean?
3. Why preserve?

I have had same questions, but I never get an answer. Good luck.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renuka,

I agree it is a well meant advice. When a problem is analyzed, all may not agree on the cause. It is good that the problem is analyzed but till a consensus emerges on the cause, the discussion will contain disagreements and differing points of view.

Dear Sravna,

Causes are divided into 2 category

1)Nimitta

2)Upadana

I am sure you are familiar with this 2 classifications.

In cases of Glanir(decline) of same caste marriages of the TB kind no one can wait for anyone to re establish "Dharma" on Yada Yada basis.


Ok here the Nimitta Karana is parents/society/environment/peer pressure.

Upadana Karana is the mind of the person which is shaped by the Nimmita Karana.

So there you go..try to identify problems in each category and try to look for a practical solution.

 

[sravna]

I have had same questions, but I never get an answer. Good luck.

Hindu philosophy basically says that the conquest of the six inner enemies such as lust, anger etc. is the way to freedom from the bondage of the physical world. Our cultural values are drawn from this fundamental premise and represent the timeless. So you really do not need to preserve the values because their truth will be evident at whatever time you use them and after how long you use them. It is up to you to recognize that and follow them for your own spiritual upliftment.

 

[Vaagmi]

1. Can anyone enumerate the key qualities of the culture and key traditional values that need to be preserved?
2. What does preservation mean?
3. Why preserve?

1. All that is good in the culture and values need to be preserved. What is good means what is universally accepted as good.

2. Preservation involves teaching them to tne next generation, children etc., so that these good aspects of culture and good values do not become extinct. They need to be preserved because they are good.

3. If you do not preserve, all the effort(over centuries) and internalization that went into acquiring and retaining these good aspects of culture and values will go waste. What is going to replace them may be or may not be good. Just an example:

Our culture glorifies "நும்முன் பிறந்தது நுவ்வையாகும்" kind of discipline even in matters controlled by ductless glands and hormones whereas not asking a boyfriend after an outing on dating(with a lot of kissing and petting thrown in) to stay back for the night is considered bad etiquette in courtship in another culture. Of course the mother in that culture/society is bothered about other consequences and carefully reminds the girl about taking a condom even before she goes on the outing.

In this, what is good value and what is bad value varies according to cultures (கால தேச வர்த்தமானங்களுக்கு ஏற்றவாறு). Let me hasten to add I am not making any value judgment here as to what is good and what is bad in this. But what is desirable and what is not is determined by the society in which we live.

 

[renuka]

Our culture glorifies "நும்முன் பிறந்தது நுவ்வையாகும்" kind of discipline even in matters controlled by ductless glands and hormones whereas not asking a boyfriend after an outing on dating(with a lot of kissing and petting thrown in) to stay back for the night is considered bad etiquette in courtship in another culture.

Dear Sir,

Even in other cultures..asking a boyfriend to stay back for the night after a first date is considered bad behavior.

 

[prasad1]

Hindu philosophy basically says that the conquest of the six inner enemies such as lust, anger etc. is the way to freedom from the bondage of the physical world. Our cultural values are drawn from this fundamental premise and represent the timeless. So you really do not need to preserve the values because their truth will be evident at whatever time you use them and after how long you use them. It is up to you to recognize that and follow them for your own spiritual upliftment.

Circular answers, So your values (as of the present) can be preserved, i.e. followed by others, as opposed to my values. It is all very nebulous. Just like Manusmrithi codified the values of his days, can you codify yours today? it will be obsolete the day it is written.

 

[renuka]

Hindu philosophy basically says that the conquest of the six inner enemies such as lust, anger etc. is the way to freedom from the bondage of the physical world. Our cultural values are drawn from this fundamental premise and represent the timeless. So you really do not need to preserve the values because their truth will be evident at whatever time you use them and after how long you use them. It is up to you to recognize that and follow them for your own spiritual upliftment.

Dear Sravna,

We have to be practical....most Hindus might not even be able to understand the spirituality you are talking about here.
In fact many will know about Vasthu Shastra and Astrology better than Spirituality.

To most Hindus...God is Santa Claus..the Kalpa Taru and prayers are made in a transaction mode.

Hardly anyone wants out of the Ocean of Sansar.

Everyone is like Mangatha Ajit Kumar "Gimme More Gimme More"

Sravna..sometimes we need to wake up to reality and face the fact that the Arishad Vargas of Man.... Kama, Krodha, Lobha,Mada,Moha and Matsarya are the "Famous" 6 that rule almost everyone in varying proportions.

Spiritual upliftment has always been a distant dream even for those who attempt it... after all didn't Lord Krishna say "Among the thousands that strive for perfection only one perchance knows Me in reality".

 

[sravna]

Dear Shri Prasad, What I am saying is that the values will never become extinct . The same values will invariably be revived and practiced whenever people see the shallowness of the existing values and want inner peace. Consider someone who has conquered the emotions . How would he behave and what are the values we can infer from his behavior? Those are exactly the values I am talking about.

 

[sangom]

Dear Shri Sangom,

According to you: Tamil brahmin girls rightly believe that the hindu beliefs are without substance
What I said : Tamil brahmin girls erroneously believe that the hindu beliefs are without substance.

Actually the situation is more complex than it seems to from my above statement but in my view gives an idea about the reality.

Hindu philosophy basically says that the conquest of the six inner enemies such as lust, anger etc. is the way to freedom from the bondage of the physical world. Our cultural values are drawn from this fundamental premise and represent the timeless. So you really do not need to preserve the values because their truth will be evident at whatever time you use them and after how long you use them. It is up to you to recognize that and follow them for your own spiritual upliftment.

I said Tamil brahmin girls believe, or have come to regard - and the issue is rather not hindu beliefs, but more specifically, the tabra beliefs. There is no question whatsoever of rightly or wrongly, when it comes to matters of belief. It is apparent now that you believe that hindu beliefs are with substance and so, if any girl believes that the hindu belief system is without any substance, then that girl must be erroneously believing. This sort of argument will lead no one anywhere. What needs to be done is to get a first hand idea and then try to find out whether such a belief (rightly, or wrongly) is there and what are the causes thereof.

My limited interaction with some of the employed girls and one or two who have married NB men according to their own selection, makes me conclude that these girls who perhaps have original, out-of-the box, problem-solving. etc., kind of thinking feel that they are mostly irrelevant vis-a-vis the tabra belief system. A few examples put forward are as under:—

• Why are women prohibited from doing the various vaideeka karmas, including srAddhams for her parents?
• Why should women be considered "impure" during menstruation, and why even religious functions like sraaddham are stopped because the wife has her monthly periods, although her role is just holding the grass - a mockery of her individuality, independence and intelligence?
• Why are gender roles so accurately marked out as far as the tabra religious side is concerned whereas, in the secular or real world aspects, girls/women are even encouraged to study, qualify and earn money just in competition to menfolk? Is this not a double standard of sorts?
• In what way are the brahmins superior or more cultured than all the rest of the country's population? Have we any scientific evidence in support of this? If a tabra girl loves a NB boy who is a crorepati, why is the community accepting it as if some honour is coming, whereas if the NB boy is a clerk or junior officer, so much of objections are made?
• Why, on the above lines, when sons & daughters of the upper crust Tabras marry outside brahmin caste and even outside hindu religion, these rich people are not ostracized by brahmins including the vaideekans and the mutts like Kanchi, Sringeri etc? Is it not proof sufficient that out tabra society only worships mammon, and all the rest of this so-called religious blah blah is just that . . . mere blah, blah?
• Why should I/we not therefore choose a boy of our liking either outside the brahmin caste or hindu religion and how can you object to this when the caste's double standards is there for everyone to see?

It is for our tabra society/community, including our revered Mutts, Matadhipathis, etc., to give a fitting answer to such doubts instead of simply saying that the girls erroneously believe that the hindu beliefs are without substance.

I personally feel that the tabra community has no convincing answers to these and many other equally valid doubts, about our hypocritical belief system, and hence, we have to patiently bear with the rebellion which these girls seem to be making but without saying so. The foolishness of the tabra community consists in the fact that this community has not yet seen these IC and IR marriages as signs of an internal rebellion against this community itself and its misplaced value systems and the members here are trying to treat the patient without knowing how to make proper diagnosis.

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear All

Anyone know what became of MK - Manohar Kumar ? - seemed like an interesting person.

I might have missed it - hope the ladies didn't do some 'research' on him and shoo him away !

I suspect VR's hand in his going underground !

Yay Yem

 

[sravna]

Dear Sravna, We have to be practical....most Hindus might not even be able to understand the spirituality you are talking about here. In fact many will know about Vasthu Shastra and Astrology better than Spirituality. To most Hindus...God is Santa Claus..the Kalpa Taru and prayers are made in a transaction mode. Hardly anyone wants out of the Ocean of Sansar. Everyone is like Mangatha Ajit Kumar "Gimme More Gimme More" Sravna..sometimes we need to wake up to reality and face the fact that the Arishad Vargas of Man.... Kama, Krodha, Lobha,Mada,Moha and Matsarya are the "Famous" 6 that rule almost everyone in varying proportions. Spiritual upliftment has always been a distant dream even for those who attempt it... after all didn't Lord Krishna say "Among the thousands that strive for perfection only one perchance knows Me in reality".

Dear Renuka, I understand what you say would seem to be true because all these arguments for spiritual upliftment and so on will be completely lost on those who are steeped in totally contrary values. But voices like mine and those of like minded people I think do serve a purpose. I believe that each and every experience that a person goes through good or bad ,in any birth and in any yuga will get imprinted on the soul which will definitely benefit from all such experiences.

 

[sravna]

Dear Sravna, We have to be practical....most Hindus might not even be able to understand the spirituality you are talking about here. In fact many will know about Vasthu Shastra and Astrology better than Spirituality. To most Hindus...God is Santa Claus..the Kalpa Taru and prayers are made in a transaction mode. Hardly anyone wants out of the Ocean of Sansar. Everyone is like Mangatha Ajit Kumar "Gimme More Gimme More" Sravna..sometimes we need to wake up to reality and face the fact that the Arishad Vargas of Man.... Kama, Krodha, Lobha,Mada,Moha and Matsarya are the "Famous" 6 that rule almost everyone in varying proportions. Spiritual upliftment has always been a distant dream even for those who attempt it... after all didn't Lord Krishna say "Among the thousands that strive for perfection only one perchance knows Me in reality".

Dear Renuka, I understand what you say would seem to be true because all these arguments for spiritual upliftment and so on will be completely lost on those who are steeped in totally contrary beliefs. But voices like mine and those of like minded people I think do serve a purpose. I believe that each and every experience that a person goes through good or bad ,in any birth and in any yuga will get imprinted on the soul which will definitely benefit from all such experiences.

 

[sravna]

Dear Shri sangom, I was only pointing out the difference between our views which you had asked for regarding the beliefs of the tamil brahmin girls. Whereas you endorse their beliefs I do not and that is the difference between our views. You have raised specific questions in your post and there may be a number of others that need to be answered. What I suggest is to first agree on the underlying reason(s) for all these and see if all the queries and possibly others that are raised could be answered by answering them.

 

[Asirvadam]

Dear Shri Gane,
I can understand your anguish,......
Hence let us not lose our hope. What is required is that our beliefs and culture change to suit the changing needs of the times.

Dear Sangom,
I appreciate your broadmindedness.

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear Sir,

Even in other cultures..asking a boyfriend to stay back for the night after a first date is considered bad behavior.

Dear Renuka Madam,

"First date" are the key words here in your post. Please read my post again.

 

[Asirvadam]

Since time immemorial, our minds have been conditioned and programmed such that a man or woman shall marry only within one's religion, caste etc.

A woman and a man meet each other, fall in love and they marry. If they happen to be from different so-called-religion or so-called-caste it generates a sensation. IC/IR marriages are not uncommon yet why do they sensationalize?

For two people to marry each other the minimum requirement is one should be Man/Male and the other should be Woman/Female. For a successful marriage they need to love each other. Is anything else mandatory?

We are living in the 21st Century.

My humble request to my beloved brahmin brothers and sisters in this forum is to come out of your shells, cocoons and mingle with others. Please change your perception.

Please do not perceive any marriage as IC or IR. Marriage is a marriage between 2 souls, one a woman and the other a man, who love each other. It is not between a Hindu and Christian, Muslim and Hindu, low caste and high caste.

Love transcends Religion, Caste, Color, Ethnicity, Race etc etc.