The gothram of a child

[guruvayurappan]

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post 74 &75
since many brahmins are having bharathwaja gothram ,it is difficult to find alliance according to our prority , like raji ram madam said many parents ask the same question "what is wrong in marriage of saga gothram ?"when the profile excellent .i am also in the same mind setup of SRI TBS
guruvayurappan

 

[renuka]

post 74 &75
since many brahmins are having bharathwaja gothram ,it is difficult to find alliance according to our prority , like raji ram madam said many parents ask the same question "what is wrong in marriage of saga gothram ?"when the profile excellent .i am also in the same mind setup of SRI TBS
guruvayurappan

Bharadwaj Gotra is also seen in Non Brahmins.

Raju caste of Andhra Pradesh also have Bharadwaj Gotra.

So even in ICM one might land up with the same gotra person.

 

[guruvayurappan]

post 70 #
for such people no bar on many things except financial aspect.theboy or girl wants unquestionable life and the marriage one of the ritual for the sake of society . and not for the individual need .
guruvayurappan

 

[tbs]

post 70 #
for such people no bar on many things except financial aspect.theboy or girl wants unquestionable life and the marriage one of the ritual for the sake of society . and not for the individual need .
guruvayurappan

hi
the upper middle class/ super rich ppl no bar for many things....money and equal status ONLY CRITERIA...only lower middle class/middle class

has only these problems....these strings are attached.....

 

[tbs]

the marriage one of the ritual for the sake of society . and not for the individual need .

hi
this happens many marriages now a days.....especially in many elite families.....

 

[renuka]

post 70 #
marriage one of the ritual for the sake of society
guruvayurappan

Dear sir,

But isn't the marriage ritual actually for society sake and not for individual sake?
We call everyone and spend so much money just to make a statement that we are getting married.

But frankly speaking this can also be a private affair with just immediate family and priest too.

We are spending money to please society...that is no doubt about that.

Frankly speaking I really did not like the fact even to invite anyone for my wedding.. for my fathers sake I agreed to invite people cos you see we do not need a crowd to get married..we need the bride, the groom and their respective parents and a priest!LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

In a few cases, a marriage needs the bride, the groom, an officer and two friends for signature!!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

In a few cases, a marriage needs the bride, the groom, an officer and two friends for signature!!

Dear RR ji,

Here we register our marriages first at the Registration Department and for me both Father and FIL were the witness.
But we need to apply at least 1 month before and there will be a 1 month no objection period before we can register the marriage.
Both pics of bride and groom will be outside on the Registration Dept board for 1 month.

Here is it compulsory to register marriages.

That is also good cos we get to have 2 wedding anniversaries...registration anniversary and then the Hindu wedding anniversary.

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

We have been invited to a "poonal" at the temple.
This is a real story not a hindi movie.
A Tamil Iyangar girl from North India came to usa 20 years ago. She married a Tamil Iyangar boy from NY. The marriage failed and she got a divorce.
After 5 years she wanted a child. She did not adopt, she did not want to get remarried.
So she chose to have artificial insemination to get pregnant. She did not want an Indian donor sperm, instead she chose an Anglo sexton (white, with blond hair) donor sperm.
The child is almost white, and this single mother is raising it. She and the grand parents and the extended family is celebrating the poonal on a sunday at 5:00pm at the temple.

I am not a traditionalist, and i believe I am moderate in my outlook, but even to me this seems so funny at so many level.
Poonal for this child? really, what gothram, what lineage.
Why the muhurtham in rahu kalam?

I can not wait for the function.

Really an astonishing one.

Balasubramanian

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

Dear RR ji,

Here we register our marriages first at the Registration Department and for me both Father and FIL were the witness.
But we need to apply at least 1 month before and there will be a 1 month no objection period before we can register the marriage.
Both pics of bride and groom will be outside on the Registration Dept board for 1 month.

Here is it compulsory to register marriages.

That is also good cos we get to have 2 wedding anniversaries...registration anniversary and then the Hindu wedding anniversary.

Similar practice is followed in Chennai Tamil Nadu also.

Balasubramanian

 

[renuka]

the marriage one of the ritual for the sake of society . and not for the individual need .

hi
this happens many marriages now a days.....especially in many elite families.....

தாலியே தேவையில்லை நீ தான் என் பொஞ்சாதி
தாம்பூலம் தேவை இல்லை நீ தான் என் சரிபாதி


[video=youtube_share;8INi4mF23A4]http://youtu.be/8INi4mF23A4[/video]

 

[C RAVI]

i looked up The Hindu of last Sunday. out of a hundred I could count only two ads with those words. One tree does not make a forest (தனி மரம் தோப்பாகாது). Also please note SUBSECTS NO BAR AND IYER/IYENGAR OK is not equal to ICM. I did not find a single ad with the words GOTHRAM NO BAR. Take a look. Cheers.

YES!!! All the matrimonial adds reads as - "Any Gothra Other Than Mine"

 

[renuka]

I guess there must be so many similar gotras these days that makes finding a partner real hard.
Poor things for people who still want to follow gotra and get married..population of aging virgins are getting higher!LOL

May be Sagotra marriages can be considered to help people find partners.

 

[vgane]

When foreigners are inducted into Hinduism the ISKCON gives them the sacred thread as a mark of our religion...When non Hindus are initiated into Hinduism they are given the sacred thread as an enduring symbol of our religion

When the TB lady who has got a kid by artifical insemination from a white does not want to loose the roots decide to initiate her son to the Hindu way of life let us compliment her for this bold decision..What is wrong in that?

She is not casting aspersions on any one...She is not belittling any one...She is still religious & Hindu by heart in the alien land.

She wants her son to know the Hindu culture & way of live...The mother feels that doing the Upanayanam will do good for her son....

Let us respect her opinion & wish both the vadu & his mother all the best

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

It is a life-long commitment. Marriage is just not a union of two people,
rather it is an emotional, physical and spiritual union between a man and woman.
It is clearly described in the Hindu Marriage Codes. It is a holy act and requires
to be solemnized, being a solemn ceremony in front of the God and also in front
of elders and well wishers. That is why Agni Kundam is created and Homam is
being performed, etc. Further, it is according to vedic or customary rites. One
could marry at any age and there is no prescribed age limit or any lowest or
highest age is prescribed. Generally, inter-religious and inter-caste marriages
are prohibited but of late it is being carried out. Earlier, if we go through our
Puranas, it is clearly mentioned that marriage being performed within one Gotra or
Parivara is not allowed except among Shudras. The couples take an oath in
front of the Agni that husband and wife would live together with love and
affection, the latter would submit to the wishes of the former and the former
would maintain the latter in the presence of every one including Vedic Pandits.
Strictly speaking marriage was indissoluble. Those days divorce was not permitted
and the husband and wife used to stay apart duly recognized by the society and the custom.
Similarly, death of the husband does not dissolve the marriage bonding and
thus a widow generally is not allowed to remarry. But these days, it is permitted
owing to social reforms. Further the marriage brings together two people,
i.e. male and female, each with entirely different attributes/virtues, make them
join and blend together in life; facilitating to assist each other in times of crisis or
happiness, nurturing and caring for one another, affirming and guiding one another.
Two separate biological beings are blend only with the intention of creating a tree of family.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[renuka]

When foreigners are inducted into Hinduism the ISKCON gives them the sacred thread as a mark of our religion...When non Hindus are initiated into Hinduism they are given the sacred thread as an enduring symbol of our religion

When the TB lady who has got a kid by artifical insemination from a white does not want to loose the roots decide to initiate her son to the Hindu way of life let us compliment her for this bold decision..What is wrong in that?

She is not casting aspersions on any one...She is not belittling any one...She is still religious & Hindu by heart in the alien land.

She wants her son to know the Hindu culture & way of live...The mother feels that doing the Upanayanam will do good for her son....

Let us respect her opinion & wish both the vadu & his mother all the best

Well said!
I can not agree more.

In fact I feel very happy to read that such a bold person exists in this world.

Hats off to her family who are supporting their daughter through thick and thin.

 

[tbs]

தாலியே தேவையில்லை நீ தான் என் பொஞ்சாதி
தாம்பூலம் தேவை இல்லை நீ தான் என் சரிபாதி


[video=youtube_share;8INi4mF23A4]http://youtu.be/8INi4mF23A4[/video]

hi
nice song and nice meanings....nice video...இது காதல் இல்லே...அதுக்கும் மேலே...

.thanks.........

 

[renuka]

It is a life-long commitment. Marriage is just not a union of two people,
rather it is an emotional, physical and spiritual union between a man and woman.
It is clearly described in the Hindu Marriage Codes. It is a holy act and requires
to be solemnized, being a solemn ceremony in front of the God and also in front
of elders and well wishers. That is why Agni Kundam is created and Homam is
being performed, etc. Further, it is according to vedic or customary rites. One
could marry at any age and there is no prescribed age limit or any lowest or
highest age is prescribed. Generally, inter-religious and inter-caste marriages
are prohibited but of late it is being carried out. Earlier, if we go through our
Puranas, it is clearly mentioned that marriage being performed within one Gotra or
Parivara is not allowed except among Shudras. The couples take an oath in
front of the Agni that husband and wife would live together with love and
affection, the latter would submit to the wishes of the former and the former
would maintain the latter in the presence of every one including Vedic Pandits.
Strictly speaking marriage was indissoluble. Those days divorce was not permitted
and the husband and wife used to stay apart duly recognized by the society and the custom.
Similarly, death of the husband does not dissolve the marriage bonding and
thus a widow generally is not allowed to remarry. But these days, it is permitted
owing to social reforms. Further the marriage brings together two people,
i.e. male and female, each with entirely different attributes/virtues, make them
join and blend together in life; facilitating to assist each other in times of crisis or
happiness, nurturing and caring for one another, affirming and guiding one another.
Two separate biological beings are blend only with the intention of creating a tree of family.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

Dear sir,

I have read before remarriage was permitted in case of death or husband presumed missing.
I had an email before on this and even posted it in forum before.

In the story of Nala and Damayanti..remember she will arrange for a Syavamvaram as the last resort to get Nala back.
All Kings still attended this Syavamvaram even after knowing the fact that Damayanti was already married and husband presumed missing.

 

[C RAVI]

"Thaliye Theva Illai Nee Dhaan Yen Ponjaathi, Thaambulam Thevai Illai Nee Dhaan Yen SeriPaadhi"


If this is what really meant by a girl and a boy who are going to marry each other, not beeing too choosy to be monetarily/materialisticaly inclined, conducting their marriage as a celebration, inviting friends and relatives and making it a joyful event OR just by registering their marriage simply without such social gathering, will all be perfectly fine as long as they mean their human relationship, marriage bonding and value each other for what they are.


BUT, most or almost all the marriages are not only inclined towards exhibiting pomp and show but towards establishing business deals.

 

[renuka]

"Thaliye Theva Illai Nee Dhaan Yen Ponjaathi, Thaambulam Thevai Illai Nee Dhaan Yen SeriPaadhi"

BUT, most or almost all the marriages are not only inclined towards exhibiting pomp and show but towards establishing business deals.

​

But in this scenario there need to be some amount of attraction and the "Kickku" factor otherwise even a business deal won't last!LOL

 

[C RAVI]

When foreigners are inducted into Hinduism the ISKCON gives them the sacred thread as a mark of our religion...When non Hindus are initiated into Hinduism they are given the sacred thread as an enduring symbol of our religion

When the TB lady who has got a kid by artifical insemination from a white does not want to loose the roots decide to initiate her son to the Hindu way of life let us compliment her for this bold decision..What is wrong in that?

She is not casting aspersions on any one...She is not belittling any one...She is still religious & Hindu by heart in the alien land.

She wants her son to know the Hindu culture & way of live...The mother feels that doing the Upanayanam will do good for her son....

Let us respect her opinion & wish both the vadu & his mother all the best

Shri Vgane


I agree most part of your post no.89.


BUT,


To follow Hindu Religion and be into Hindu ways of spirituality by getting to know all about it, one need not to have upanayanam

If the mother chooses just to make her son a Hindu then that would be very much fine. For that one need not be converted into Brahminism.

Especially being settled in America, what the mother can expect from her Poonal wearing son?


1) To never to eat non-vegetarian food, though out his life?
2) To do aleast Gayathri Japam, every morning, holding the knot (Brahma Mudichu) of the poonal, through out his life?
3) To attend Aavani Avittam ceremony and changing poonal on that auspecioius day, every year, till the end?
4) To marry a Brahmin girl in future?
5) To do Pitru Karma Karyams ONLY to his mother and maternal grand parents, after the mother passes away?

My concern is, why to complicate the child JUST to make him a devoted Hindu? Is that only convertion to Brahminism makes one a devoted Hindu?


Mold the child in the right manner such that the child learns the life well, make him value the values, make him to be a good citizen and a compassionate human, make him a balanced and responsible person. Educate him about Hinduism and Hindu Spirituality. And make him a devoted Hindu BUT still be a non-discriminating and non-voilent as a Hindu Fanatic.

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear All

Here's what the Courts had to say about Gotrams [ before Jeera Mam, pulls us back on track ]

June 2012 :

" Do you know what a Gotra is ? Which Hindu text prescribes banning of sagotra marriage? Why are you wasting
the time of the court ? "
- on a PIL filed for amendment to the Hindu Marriage Act in wake of Khap Panchayat diktats in Haryana.
- needless to say, politicians like Jindal and Choutala take a bizarre stand even after the court dismissed the PIL.

In 1945: [ before the Hindu Marriages Act came into force ] - Madhav Rao vs Raghavendra Rao

" The mass of material on gorta and pravara in the sutras, puranas and digests is so vast and full of contradictions
that it almost an impossible task to reduce it to order and coherence ".

" On this ground the Court concluded that it was impossible to accept the suggestion that in reference to Brahmin
families of today the gorta and pravara represent anything like an unbroken lineage of descent from common
ancestors indicated by the name of the respective gotras and pravaras. After consulting texts of Manu and
Yajnavalkya, the court observed that the requirements on gotra were recommendatory rather than mandatory ".

In Matrilineal communities, the gotram membership is passed down from the Mother.

It is observations like these that make me NOT take a "Holier Than Thou "attitude.

YayYem

 

[renuka]

Yajnopavita is not the domain of any one caste.

Every Hindu who can conform to the rules and regulations of wearing a Yajnopavita has the right to wear it.

I have seen many who wear it but still eat non veg.

I have met many who wear it and still do not know even the meaning of Gayatri Mantra.

Let any deserving candidate wear it if they wish so.

We might not know who this little boy will turn out to be in the future.

Many great souls take birth in unconventional circumstances.

So I don't think we need to speculate if this boy won't live up to the expectations of society.

For all you know he will be teaching everyone one fine day.

Just to add..there is no such thing called Brahminism, Kshatriyaism,Vaisyaism or Sudraism..there is only Sanathana Dharma.

 

[vgane]

Shri Vgane


I agree most part of your post no.89.


BUT,


To follow Hindu Religion and be into Hindu ways of spirituality by getting to know all about it, one need not to have upanayanam

If the mother chooses just to make her son a Hindu then that would be very much fine. For that one need not be converted into Brahminism.

Especially being settled in America, what the mother can expect from her Poonal wearing son?


1) To never to eat non-vegetarian food, though out his life?
2) To do aleast Gayathri Japam, every morning, holding the knot (Brahma Mudichu) of the poonal, through out his life?
3) To attend Aavani Avittam ceremony and changing poonal on that auspecioius day, every year, till the end?
4) To marry a Brahmin girl in future?
5) To do Pitru Karma Karyams ONLY to his mother and maternal grand parents, after the mother passes away?

My concern is, why to complicate the child JUST to make him a devoted Hindu? Is that only convertion to Brahminism makes one a devoted Hindu?


Mold the child in the right manner such that the child learns the life well, make him value the values, make him to be a good citizen and a compassionate human, make him a balanced and responsible person. Educate him about Hinduism and Hindu Spirituality. And make him a devoted Hindu BUT still be a non-discriminating and non-voilent as a Hindu Fanatic.

I think the mother has decided to initiate her son to Hinduism by the Upanayanam...As per the mother it shall be some sort of bonding to our Hindu culture as far as child is concerned...

Let us not read too much into this symbolic act...

It is for the child & mother to take a call whether to attend Avani Avittam or chant Gayatri Mantra as is the case with many of our TB brethren


It may look non conformist to the traditional...Ultimately it is the call of the mother's inner voice to do Upanayanam for her son...Let us respect her feelings, her emotions & her decision on this

 

[Raji Ram]

....... That is also good cos we get to have 2 wedding anniversaries...registration anniversary and then the Hindu wedding anniversary.

Dear Renu,

In India also, all the weddings are registered soon after 'tying the three knots' is over, on the same day.

There are agents (even a few mamis) to help in the registration, for a payment, in SingArach Chennai.

So only one wedding anniversary each year!!