Wedding between Tamil Brahmin and Seer Karuneegar

[CHANDRU1849]

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BRAHMINISM:

DEFINITION #1: AS DEFINED IN THE BAGWAD GITA. But those conforming to this defintion had lived only during the times of Veda Vyasa. In the current times, these are a few in number, you can count with your fingers.

DEFINITION #2: HYPOCRISY, EGOISM, EGOTISM, ARROGANCE, PRIDE, CONCEIT, MEAN, FEEBLE, UNSCRUPULOUS, SELF-EXULTANT, SELF-RIGHTEOUS, SUPERIORITY COMPLEX, VAAGMI ET AL


The remaining queries do not merit any response from a Human Being.

From your reply, I think you might have been extremely frustrated by Brahmins to the core.

Bagwad Gita is not the authority to speak about Brahmins. It is from a Pshatriya.

 

[krish44]

what kind of experiences a lady might have had with hindu brahmins to be driven to the state of changing religion for breathing space.

some brahmins can ill treat ladies and drive them to desperation.

now lot of educated and economically independant girls are standing up and are demanding equality and fair play

hindu religion should cater to their aspirations .

 

[கால பைரவன்]

Dear Folks,

Knowingly or unknowingly, the feelings of superiority has become deep rooted among many brahmins. This is what I think is really unacceptable to others.

.... I am not trying to defend the notion of superiority. In fact it is in the best interests of brahmins, to really not feel that way. If people feel that the brahmins do not harbor such notions they would be more at ease with them.

Sravnaji, one can only exercise control over how one feels. One can't control the feelings of others. To accuse people of harboring thoughts including notions of superiority when they don't harbor such thoughts is an act of prejudice and is, in itself, more often than not a result of one feeling inferior. Such behavior should be called out. Instead finding fault with the group that stands wrongly accused is not an act of liberalism but, to put it crudely, illichavayaththanam.

Brahmins have to genuinely work towards reestablishing a harmonious society .

This is not the responsibility of Brahmins and certainly not only their responsibility especially with them being at the receiving end of this disharmonious society.

The varna system has turned in to notorious form which is the caste system

The varna system did not turn into the "notorious" caste system. Castes existed and predates the varna system. That also explains why castes still exist after the disintegration of varna system.

and it is in the best interests of all to see such a caste system is uprooted totally.

FYI, This thought is not at all shared by NB castes who are beneficiaries of caste system.

 

[sravna]

Dear Shri KB,

The rationale of my argument is that some one has to give in . In my view giving in is not always losing. It shows you are able to rise above ego issues. If brahmins can do that which I think they are definitely capable of, they will be really respected. Displaying true higher values and not just preaching will definitely be appealing to others and that is what I think brahmins should strive for.

It is better to impress upon others by noble thoughts and deeds which have been ascribed to us than try to play the game of one upmanship which is alien to us.That in fact will do a lot to damage to the identity and the values that we are trying to preserve.

Let it be considered as ilichavayathanam but real character will definitely prevail in due course and it is that character that needs to be displayed now. In its present form, the caste system is cancerous and if we are wise we will do away with it .We can take the lead in that.

 

[krish44]

Dear Shri KB,

The rationale of my argument is that some one has to give in . In my view giving in is not always losing. It shows you are able to rise above ego issues. If brahmins can do that which I think they are definitely capable of, they will be really respected. Displaying true higher values and not just preaching will definitely be appealing to others and that is what I think brahmins should strive for.

It is better to impress upon others by noble thoughts and deeds which have been ascribed to us than try to play the game of one upmanship which is alien to us.That in fact will do a lot to damage to the identity and the values that we are trying to preserve.

Let it be considered as ilichavayathanam but real character will definitely prevail in due course and it is that character that needs to be displayed now. In its present form, the caste system is cancerous and if we are wise we will do away with it .We can take the lead in that.

sravnaji
an excellent post. how many will take up the challenge and rise above narrow caste considerations and reach out to others

I can see only one upmanship and wanting to put down anyone with a different view

brahmins are facing an onslaught from all. what they are continuing to do will only marginalisie them further

the anger of two of the ladies of the forum is legitimate

a class of people who cannot respect or cherish ladies cannot be true representatives of brahmin community.

 

[sarang]

Well put sir. Very little to add.

Time does not stand still. If you come to India with the expectation to see the old time India of your younger days, you will certainly be disappointed. If in your days, you spent time with your friends by going to movies which were tear jerkers and puranic tales/love triangle yarns now it is lovvu everywhere. In your days if it was paavaadai-thavani for the curvaceous girls it is jeans and sleeveless shirts these days. If it was dhoti and pant for boys in your days it is bermudas and T shirts everywhere these days-from 90 years old oldie to 18 years old young boy. That is the march of time and it may appear to be imitation or aping but really it is not. It is not--because the basic values have not changed in a big way, the culture remains the same even today, the middle class that is the bulwark of brahmin culture still values the importance of remaining in a family committed to it. The kind of loose morals, indiscipline and aping of the west are all there in the higher class brahmin society but not in the middle class which is the largest chunk. I speak about majorities and there is always scope for exceptions which is human nature.

Any marriage which does not take into account the character of the groom or bride is bound to fail ultimately. There is no two opinions about it. But when you look for a suitable match within the community you are sure about atleast a few familiar things. Let me try to make it easy. Caste is like brand equity. I go to the market to buy an electric bulb. I look for only the best brands like Havell or Philips and don't even look at others. It is because of my experience with the product in the past. But after choosing a bulb I also see whether the individual piece is okay in all aspects-whether its filament is in place, whether the base is firmly fixed to the glass bulb etc., The retailer even connects it to the power and shows that it really works. I have learnt from experience that the brand gives me an assurance about many of my concerns. Please for heaven's sake do not immediately extend this example to bring in superiority/inferiority conundrum. Let us keep that aside and take this example of brand equity just in a limited way. The caste tag of brahmin is like the brand equity and it is based on solid scientific evidence as well as everyday experience in this world. Why should I ignore that and pick up from the attractive looking competitive products that come from china these days, which fail in two days or work well depending on how lucky I am? I am not comfortable with intangibles like luck.

In your days the concept of dating was not there because it was a different time with different circumstances/opportunities. Where is the scope for you to date a girl if all the privacy that was available was only the temple prakaaram, city bus journey, family get togethers which were marriages, upanayanams etc.? These days girls are bold and they also know how to manage a date harmlessly. Every date here does not end up in an unwanted pregnancy. These days tb middle class working girls go out on dates after either the marriage is fixed or just prior to that to know the boy better. They call of the proposal if they find the proposed partner is not upto the mark they have in their mind. This is very different from the numerous dating episodes of girls in west. I do not want to go further deep into this. You must be knowing it better. About meat eating, it is again the pressures of the time. Not everyone goes and eat meat or chicken. There are those who do that due to peer pressure and perceived need to live upto the expectation of their love.

Dear friend it is not superficial culture. I would prefer to call it basic values. Even a boy who eats meat a few times with friends in hotels never dares speaking about it to his father, mother, brother or sister. I call it the pangs of growing up. Even Mahatma Gandhi went through this. Many of these boys return back to their basic values and live a normal life as a brahmin. A few go deep into the alien ways and are lost in it for ever. But that is the tyranny of exceptions and there is no escape from that.

When britishers came our veda chanting, puja performing, poonal wearing brahmins had to change. They did that well. They retained their tuft but learnt to wear and live with the uncomfortable turban over it. They retained their poonal but wore a shirt, tie and a coat over it. They did not go for the pant because the kachcham was as good as a pant. And they rose up the ranks of the elite retaining all that.

I am optimistic that our culture will not die. It may undergo periodic modification but will retain the essence of it always in tact. The reason why I am optimistic is because the values are good by universal standards. Like truth which does not require something else to show it our basic values are great and they will stay put.

I cared to give a detailed reply because I understand your position and your genuine interest in a debate. Thanks for your time.

 

[கால பைரவன்]

Dear Shri KB,

The rationale of my argument is that some one has to give in . In my view giving in is not always losing. It shows you are able to rise above ego issues. If brahmins can do that which I think they are definitely capable of, they will be really respected. Displaying true higher values and not just preaching will definitely be appealing to others and that is what I think brahmins should strive for.

It is better to impress upon others by noble thoughts and deeds which have been ascribed to us than try to play the game of one upmanship which is alien to us.That in fact will do a lot to damage to the identity and the values that we are trying to preserve.

Let it be considered as ilichavayathanam but real character will definitely prevail in due course and it is that character that needs to be displayed now. In its present form, the caste system is cancerous and if we are wise we will do away with it .We can take the lead in that.

I respect your views Sravanaji. But you fail to see the irony here. If one were to agree with you and say that "Brahmins, true to their nature, should be magnanimous" that will be deemed as exhibiting notions of superiority, the same notion of superiority you took the liberty of asking Brahmins to shun!

 

[கால பைரவன்]

the anger of two of the ladies of the forum is legitimate

a class of people who cannot respect or cherish ladies cannot be true representatives of brahmin community.

A person can be respected or cherished for the views expressed. Not just because a person is a lady.

Only a male chauvinist will have such a view that a lady cannot elicit respect other than by showing off as a lady.

 

[sravna]

I respect your views Sravanaji. But you fail to see the irony here. If one were to agree with you and say that "Brahmins, true to their nature, should be magnanimous" that will be deemed as exhibiting notions of superiority, the same notion of superiority you took the liberty of asking Brahmins to shun!

Dear Shri KB,

No irony really. I have always said that brahmins still have many desirable qualities and they should ensure that such qualities be passed on. By saying that I am not saying that I consider brahmins in general superior to others. But others have got the feeling may be rightly so that the brahmins consider themselves superior. It is this notion one needs to work on. In fact what I actually say is that one cannot call oneself magnanimous if one were to feel superior about it.

 

[sarang]

Varna system is not the exclusive prerogative of tambrams; it is practiced all over bharat. Other varnas are more passionate in acknowledging and following the system defined in scriptures. Each region has its set of rules and practices for the different varnas and followers are aplenty. Chetiiars may be komutti or nattukottai, but still they collectively group themselves as vaishya chettiars. None of the religious leaders from different sections have talked or worked against varna system. It is wrong to attribute varna mind set and adherence only to brahmin community. In a lighter vain, all talk is of abolition of castes and not abolition of varnas. All varnas from the good old days had no difficulty in retaining their core varna values but working together with mutual respect and cooperation. Even now every jati has a website catering to the needs of their community members as we have, but only frustrated and disgruntled brahmins are offensive to their community members. Definitely they are not reformers, but neo version of black shirts. (most of the black shirts are wearing white now).

All along, our ancestors have retained the core values and also successfully adapted to the ever changing political and religious environment, whether in dress, education or vocation. Even hostile and destructive attacks did not weaken them. They survived, regrouped and restored and followed whatever was important and vital. Today is no different. There are many sub groups passionately adhering, preserving and propagating our values.

There are many who are neutral and sort of sitting on the fence; and there is a high probabilty that they will return to the fold, either by a chance event, meeting the right person or by the grace of his acharya. This is happening every day. Visit any mutt or asramam of the pontiffs.

The doomsday morons may be salivating on the decimation of brahmins have to wait for anotehr millennium to see any change.

Tambram is just a small subset of the entire brahmin community and has its own strength and capacity to derive from the bigger community.

 

[R Ramakrishnan]

Hi,
I am a new joiny to this web site. i just started going through some of the discussions and I felt this is one of the serious discussions which i could add some comments.
There is two side to look into the life.
1) One is live your life as per choice without to much analystion of past and future.
2) Respecting the value of what you belong and sacrificing the self interest.
There will be pro and cons bothsides. But you would like to have only pro only from bothsides. This may not be successful al the time.
So My advice is select eighter one of it and get fully satisfied with it. don't look back.

 

[Vaagmi]

1.I like the optimism of the member. I wish I could agree with him

2. good to live in a dream world if it gives happiness two senior gentlemen

3. After another ten or fifteen years we will find out if the same optimism exists

4. there may not be many brahmins of this POV. there may not perhaps be brahmins left to be moulded to fit the label with poonool, caste marks and sandhyavandanam and character as these gentlemen perceive

1.Thank you sir. I know the doomsday soothsayers live in the world of their own and they can never accept reality. It is just "yaam petra thunbam peruga ivvaiyakam" kind of curse that they throw at brahmins. LOL. Brahmins who live here in this punyabhoomi have sympathy for these people who are lost to an alien way of living in a distant alien environment. Poor things. It is their prarabtham and sanjitham together coming to roost. LOL.

2. I am not senior. You would rather find many surprises if and when we meet. LOL.

3. I remember my childhood days. The grand old sumangali lady in my village used to do kummiyadi around a kuththuvilakku along with other not so old and young ladies and girls of the agraharam singing a song. She used to sing "kalikaalam muththippochchu. Kudumimudichchellam kaanaamale pochchu." That was more than 35 years back. I still wait for the kalikaalam to mature. LOL.

4.Next time when you visit India please contact me. I will introduce you to the members of the Sripaathamthaangikal sangam here. They are young boys in the age group 20 to 30. They are all achievers. Engineers from top notch colleges and IITs working with large MNCs in Chennai. They do sandhya regularly, pray in the local temple regularly, and on utsavam days come promptly and compete with each other to carry the utsavar deity on their shoulders around the streets here. Some of them are married and having kids who also come to temple with their young working mothers. These girls too are equally well educated and work with MNCs. They wear their naamam in the morning and evening. When they go office they do not wear it. They are not stupid ambis. You talk to them for ten minutes you will develop respect for them for the clarity of thinking, knowledge of our culture and of course the expertise in their respective domains. That is Chennai in India. Come out of your dreams and visit Chennai once. And do not forget to inform me. LOL.

 

[Vaagmi]

what kind of experiences a lady might have had with hindu brahmins to be driven to the state of changing religion for breathing space.

some brahmins can ill treat ladies and drive them to desperation.

now lot of educated and economically independant girls are standing up and are demanding equality and fair play

hindu religion should cater to their aspirations .

What a twist!!

So changing religion gives a woman breathing space and relief from dominant males at home. LOL.

And Girls! once you change the religion your new husband will become just a poodle whining and wagging his tail just at the site of you. LOL.

 

[renuka]

the anger of two of the ladies of the forum is legitimate

a class of people who cannot respect or cherish ladies cannot be true representatives of brahmin community.

Dear Krish ji,

After Vaagmi ji wrote a post asking everyone to shut up becos he stated reasons about some members being abroad and have followed a different culture etc..(even though I did not agree fully with his post..but at least I agreed that one needed to shut up!)

Well I shut up for a while but I decided to talk again now just for this 2 lines you wrote.

I can understand your good intention and concern but I dont think any female member got angry here..it was just that points were discussed and there were some surprises in that process and also responses based on feedback.

It is mature in my opinion for anyone to be able to hold a discussion for any topic even though the depth of any reply might differ depending on the depth of water the reader has set in his/her mind.

Now the reason I am replying your post is at least on my part I do not seek preferential treatment as a lady that people need to cherish or respect.

I prefer people being themselves.. even if they have Mania it does not matter becos at least through the actions of others and ourselves we learn a lot more about the world.

In my opinion seeking preferential treatment of any kind is sign of cowardice.

Help is different from preferential treatment..in help we allow others to assist us and thank them for it.

Preferential treatment is imposing ourselves on others and expect others to not say anything in respond..

Preferential treatment makes the mind think that it can hide behind some privilege..like how the snake on the neck of Lord Shiva asks Garuda "Garuda how are you" knowing very well Lord Shiva is there to protect him..that is cowardice.

I do not intend to hide behind the privilege of being a female becos that wont be fair to me or anyone who engages in debate in me.

In the real sense no one is man or woman but we are both man and woman..that is we inherit genetic material from both mother and father..so each one of us is a walking Ardhanarishwara.

So if anyone wants to have a debate it is better they be brave enough to stand up and face responses without resorting to any armour of preferential treatment.

 

[Vaagmi]

Bravo. Renukaji. I appreciate that post.

 

[balak223]

You have not mentioned what your dad says to your marriage. Your mother has said about madissar because she does not want you to marry a non brahmin. It is very simple. First understand that. Madissar is not the issue. Your life is precious to them. If you marry a non brahmin , they feel their mobility to you and your new house will be limited. They cannot afford to discard you. Their life is in peril. They may even die of thinking about you. Such things are happening elsewhere. You are their daughter. They loved you for so many years. This is what happens in many many brahmin families where the daughter disregards the faith, the customs and traditions and everything. She asks for comments from Tamil brahmins community but not her dad. The community is under a severe threat of extinction. Oh God ! what did we do to you to punish us like this ?

 

[tks]

Sravnaji, one can only exercise control over how one feels. One can't control the feelings of others. To accuse people of harboring thoughts including notions of superiority when they don't harbor such thoughts is an act of prejudice and is, in itself, more often than not a result of one feeling inferior. Such behavior should be called out. Instead finding fault with the group that stands wrongly accused is not an act of liberalism but, to put it crudely, illichavayaththanam.



This is not the responsibility of Brahmins and certainly not only their responsibility especially with them being at the receiving end of this disharmonious society.



The varna system did not turn into the "notorious" caste system. Castes existed and predates the varna system. That also explains why castes still exist after the disintegration of varna system.



FYI, This thought is not at all shared by NB castes who are beneficiaries of caste system.

Sri KB

Admire how with few words you communicate very well your key points.

In nature and in life itself differences will always exist. There are some people better than others in a given skill. Even as a group, some groups are far better or far superior than other groups. The orthognal categories of Varna based organization is but one way to leverage differences in people for betterment of everyone.


In other words there is no reason to be apologetic to acknowledge the differences provided that the so called superiority is ONLY from a standpoint within limited scope and that we as a person or as a group did not do anything on our own to make that superiority to happen. It is all part of nature's grand scheme


All

Unlike many others and without being disrespectful I can say that I come here to waste time - hopefully a pleasurable time when I read posts of some people. If it is waste of time and not good exchange of ideas or gets into pettiness then I hope I have the wisdom to disengage.


I do not consider myself spokesperson for any group including TBs. Also due to my expectations of the word Brahmin I have run into less than exemplary behaviour of people who call themselves TB during my visits to India.. But all this does not change my view that there is systematic discriminations practiced in India against anyone caring the Brahmin Tag.

When I first joined this forum I was surprised at some posts with venom either blatant or 'latent' directed at this group. In those instances the best thing is to call out that behavior which I hopefully did. Of late this kind of venom has all but disappeared except for a few posts here and there by some. They are all sort of moore latent in my view.

Let us thank Maash for providing a chance to have all these discussions even if the situation posted in the OP is real or not real.

 

[rishikesan]

Dear Mr.vague, Your Post186 has made me to write this Ple

 

[rishikesan]

Dear,Vaggmi
I read your post no.186.I am interested to talk to you on phone,since we both live in Madras.My phone no. is 04424806871.I am eager to get introduced to those young,intelligent,well educated,still follow our customs,which is rare these days.

thanking you
Rishikesan

 

[krish44]

1.Thank you sir. I know the doomsday soothsayers live in the world of their own and they can never accept reality. It is just "yaam petra thunbam peruga ivvaiyakam" kind of curse that they throw at brahmins. LOL. Brahmins who live here in this punyabhoomi have sympathy for these people who are lost to an alien way of living in a distant alien environment. Poor things. It is their prarabtham and sanjitham together coming to roost. LOL.

2. I am not senior. You would rather find many surprises if and when we meet. LOL.

3. I remember my childhood days. The grand old sumangali lady in my village used to do kummiyadi around a kuththuvilakku along with other not so old and young ladies and girls of the agraharam singing a song. She used to sing "kalikaalam muththippochchu. Kudumimudichchellam kaanaamale pochchu." That was more than 35 years back. I still wait for the kalikaalam to mature. LOL.

4.Next time when you visit India please contact me. I will introduce you to the members of the Sripaathamthaangikal sangam here. They are young boys in the age group 20 to 30. They are all achievers. Engineers from top notch colleges and IITs working with large MNCs in Chennai. They do sandhya regularly, pray in the local temple regularly, and on utsavam days come promptly and compete with each other to carry the utsavar deity on their shoulders around the streets here. Some of them are married and having kids who also come to temple with their young working mothers. These girls too are equally well educated and work with MNCs. They wear their naamam in the morning and evening. When they go office they do not wear it. They are not stupid ambis. You talk to them for ten minutes you will develop respect for them for the clarity of thinking, knowledge of our culture and of course the expertise in their respective domains. That is Chennai in India. Come out of your dreams and visit Chennai once. And do not forget to inform me. LOL.

1. vaagmiji. you have a misunderstanding. I do not stay abroad. I stay in delhi 2000km away from chennai . I have chennai links . I am in chennai atleast once every 3 or

4 months, Iam definitely lost to an alien way in the sense my responses are of a person who has lived in delhi for over 50 years and whose interactions are with TBs and

others of north india who think and respond differently due to exposure to all castes and religions. I do not have sympathy nor expect any sympathy from any TB or

anyone else from tamilnadu

2. I am happy to know you are not a senior citizen . i like to bond with youngsters though they might not like to do so.lol.

3.4. when I visit chennai , I will definitely call you for a meet over mangalore bonda and coffee at woodlands where I normally stay.I would be happy to meet the

sripadamthangikal who are as per my understanding vaishnavite brahminsand I am also an iyengar by birth. I am only curious . I love to meet strange people from all over

the world . such people in chennai interest me

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish ji,

After Vaagmi ji wrote a post asking everyone to shut up becos he stated reasons about some members being abroad and have followed a different culture etc..(even though I did not agree fully with his post..but at least I agreed that one needed to shut up!)

Well I shut up for a while but I decided to talk again now just for this 2 lines you wrote.

I can understand your good intention and concern but I dont think any female member got angry here..it was just that points were discussed and there were some surprises in that process and also responses based on feedback.

It is mature in my opinion for anyone to be able to hold a discussion for any topic even though the depth of any reply might differ depending on the depth of water the reader has set in his/her mind.

Now the reason I am replying your post is at least on my part I do not seek preferential treatment as a lady that people need to cherish or respect.

I prefer people being themselves.. even if they have Mania it does not matter becos at least through the actions of others and ourselves we learn a lot more about the world.

In my opinion seeking preferential treatment of any kind is sign of cowardice.

Help is different from preferential treatment..in help we allow others to assist us and thank them for it.

Preferential treatment is imposing ourselves on others and expect others to not say anything in respond..

Preferential treatment makes the mind think that it can hide behind some privilege..like how the snake on the neck of Lord Shiva asks Garuda "Garuda how are you" knowing very well Lord Shiva is there to protect him..that is cowardice.

I do not intend to hide behind the privilege of being a female becos that wont be fair to me or anyone who engages in debate in me.

In the real sense no one is man or woman but we are both man and woman..that is we inherit genetic material from both mother and father..so each one of us is a walking Ardhanarishwara.

So if anyone wants to have a debate it is better they be brave enough to stand up and face responses without resorting to any armour of preferential treatment.

renukaji

Great you are back with a rejoinder after 24 hours.

I did not think my two sentences could provoke a response

one could have a mature dialog but one could be civil in communicating with each other .

when it get reduced to kuzhayadi sandai it turns off all others .

since both members involved ceased to communicate for sometime due to their maturity , the thread got diverted to other members and their opinions

I hope you were not hurt . now curfew is lifted . we can continue in our merry way. all ardhanareeswaras declered and undeclared can freely have a dialog,lol

with best wishes

 

[krish44]

What a twist!!

So changing religion gives a woman breathing space and relief from dominant males at home. LOL.

And Girls! once you change the religion your new husband will become just a poodle whining and wagging his tail just at the site of you. LOL.

in inter religion marriages normally , the couple keep away from society which find them unacceptable.they deal only with people with a liberal mindset

this type of marriage gives them an escape route from rigourous rules of either religion as they become outcastes in both religion and are shunned by people practising

either religion

the male tries to bond more with the female so that they can face ostracism together.

I have seen this in many inter religion marriages

 

[renuka]

renukaji

Great you are back with a rejoinder after 24 hours.

I did not think my two sentences could provoke a response

one could have a mature dialog but one could be civil in communicating with each other .

when it get reduced to kuzhayadi sandai it turns off all others .

since both members involved ceased to communicate for sometime due to their maturity , the thread got diverted to other members and their opinions

I hope you were not hurt . now curfew is lifted . we can continue in our merry way. all ardhanareeswaras declered and undeclared can freely have a dialog,lol

with best wishes

Dear Krish ji,

Have you realized after the round 1 of the fight Forum became active again?!LOL

Everyone jumped in for a share of the battle.

That keeps the mind active and everyone gets an opportunity to participate.

Nope..dont worry I seldom feel hurt..the ability to get hurt decreases with age..as we age most of us become "besharam"!LOL

And as you rightly said in Chit Chat thread that its hard to predict me so dont worry I could be back for round 2!LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

In most of the I R weddings I have seen, the guy proposes to the girl first and so the girl dominates! We have quite a few I R weddings

in our family circle. When girl is a tambram, the other religion guy becomes so fond of 'thachchi mammu' that he is happy to have

only that item for his dinner when he visits in-laws (even if it is every week end)!

When the guy is a tambram, he surrenders to the girl completely and dances to her tune! He will do any hard work for the sake of the

dominating better half at his in-law's house, by spending his full vacation with them, not caring to visit other relatives in India! :lol:

 

[tbs]

1.Thank you sir. I know the doomsday soothsayers live in the world of their own and they can never accept reality. It is just "yaam petra thunbam peruga ivvaiyakam" kind of curse that they throw at brahmins. LOL. Brahmins who live here in this punyabhoomi have sympathy for these people who are lost to an alien way of living in a distant alien environment. Poor things. It is their prarabtham and sanjitham together coming to roost. LOL.

2. I am not senior. You would rather find many surprises if and when we meet. LOL.

3. I remember my childhood days. The grand old sumangali lady in my village used to do kummiyadi around a kuththuvilakku along with other not so old and young ladies and girls of the agraharam singing a song. She used to sing "kalikaalam muththippochchu. Kudumimudichchellam kaanaamale pochchu." That was more than 35 years back. I still wait for the kalikaalam to mature. LOL.

4.Next time when you visit India please contact me. I will introduce you to the members of the Sripaathamthaangikal sangam here. They are young boys in the age group 20 to 30. They are all achievers. Engineers from top notch colleges and IITs working with large MNCs in Chennai. They do sandhya regularly, pray in the local temple regularly, and on utsavam days come promptly and compete with each other to carry the utsavar deity on their shoulders around the streets here. Some of them are married and having kids who also come to temple with their young working mothers. These girls too are equally well educated and work with MNCs. They wear their naamam in the morning and evening. When they go office they do not wear it. They are not stupid ambis. You talk to them for ten minutes you will develop respect for them for the clarity of thinking, knowledge of our culture and of course the expertise in their respective domains. That is Chennai in India. Come out of your dreams and visit Chennai once. And do not forget to inform me. LOL.[/QUOTE)

hi vagmi sir,

i like to add more...last yajurveda aavani avittam day....we had abt 3 batches in a USA temple...very close to my home...

mostly youngesters from IT companies...they are not very religious...but they are BRAHMIN BY BIRTH....NOT WITH ANY GUNAS...

they are mostly modified brahmins....even many samavedin youngesters did their aavani avittam....we call them as MOST

CONVENIENTB RAHMINS....