Finding A Match For A Tamil Brahmin

[krish44]

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Simple - Hype or Give Cosmetic Cover or both!

I got a profile of a girl for my elder son The girl 's parents are known to us well But this I got by email The Girl studied in Vikasa Matriculation school run by Madura Coats - This is presented like this - She did her schooling in a prestigious public school run by Coats Vialla of UK and had a good laught at this attempt to glorify her scooling!! In fact None of my children joined this school reason - its lower ranking!! They sent this probably they could not identify us by email id! Irony is that the girs mother took over that school when it was for sale! and now she is out of that also started a new school here - Trading in education!

JJji

I was reserving it for next post.
academin qual.-always mention name of prestigeous school ,college , you have studied if you are grades are bad or

an avrage. for boys academic credentials matter more than looks
for jobs again MNC names or big four in IT or consulting are sought after
the gross yearly lakhs salary sound better than monthly net take home. try not to bluff on this.
mention you take your car to work-girls like car owners and husband who can drive them to office

Mention you get foreign assignments or atleast go on official trips/holiday abroad

these add value to profile

if you are a girl , add you will keep your job after marriage. it gives you the option to give uplater and stick to your existing place

in write up about yourself, describe yourself conservatively as a simple good looking person with high sounding ideals looking for a non orhodox ,liberal person who will give space to your desire to work besides pursuing your interests and hobbies this is a hit with mod.boys

discreetly indicate you have a limited talent in cooking and require help from man to manage the cooking .
also indicate your desire to eat out on week ends.this clearly says you are not going to be the cook for boys family.

wit all this float the profil and see what happens.

icollected 140 responses for a 28 yr old girl in 2 days of posting without paid membership recently.

this profile is a big hit.lol

 

[krish44]

next-this star-horoscope dilemma

most get stuck on this one .

never post your home made horos. just put system generated one based on d.o.b and time and place of birth.

also never take on the job of comparison .

leave it to the the prospective groom /bride to do what they like with it.

the option I use is to say no two astrologers agree so better they get satisfied by comparison themselves.

alternately take the stand you do not believe in it . most agree saying manaporutham is important if they are

desperate for marriage.

I find by experience , very few reject on horoscope if the girl is otherwise good. they overlook it with some pariharam in worst case .lol

I have other solutions for this . But I am unable to mention it as many will get worked up. my views on this are known to many.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

I find by experience , very few reject on horoscope if the girl is otherwise good. they overlook it with some pariharam in worst case .lol

I accepted Ayilum for D in L . But Moolan was rejeted for S in L i Have already posted !

indicate you have a limited talent in cooking and require help from man to manage the cooking .
also indicate your desire to eat out on week ends.this clearly says you are not going to be the cook for boys family.!

Looks like Uppiliyappan Story Anyway both my D in Ls donot have to cook But have Maids to do that Elder eats out on week ends as her 2 maids don't stay with them and day off for the maids!

The younger comes to Madurai whenever her maids who stay in house are on long holidays during Deepavali and Pongal ! & I cook!!

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

krishji,

when did you become the sole knowledge source of truths.
It appears you are trying to convert all your failures in your family into success by liberally advising members here to follow you. But it is pathetic. LOL.

I do not intend to continue this conversation any further. I will not be responding if you reply. Thanks.

Typical Roar like a Lion and hide in Burrough like a rat! Asingam!

 

[Vaagmi]

let us talk of something else pleasanter.
How to write a profile in a matrimonial site to get maximum hits.?
first , the profile should match the maximum numberof profiles of opposite sex and appeal both to the young and the
old. ,one should for example choose Moderate instead of liberal[suiting the young] and Orthodox[liked by conservativeparents] while choosing lifestyle values.this satisfies both.
always choose caste no bar which gets you the maximum eyeballs even if you are a casteist and protective of your
caste.it sends a message to youngsters that you think like them.
complexion -do not choose very fair or dark .place yourself midway -fair which might mean anything.
always say veg in food preferences . Add eggetarian if your conscience troubles you.
languages known, write tamil , hindi ,english though not 100 percent proficient for all india and international appeal.
other languages optional . do not overdo it . many add german,french if they are aiming foreign mate and show they
are upmarket
for food choices -people write chinese, north indian ,mexican even if you like only sambar ,rasam platemeal or chapathi.this is considered sophisticated
for music add carnatic or western even if you like ilayaraja and rehman . parents like carnatik music types as it
conveys you are conventional
next in specs height if you are a girl 5-5'3 -opt only for boys upto 5'6 or 5'7, if you are more, opt 5'7 to 6'plus.
Age -do not choose more than 3-4 years older and even same age is OKif you are a girl. same age guys make the beat friends. Do not marry a mama looking guy. Saves
a lot of time later in filtering profiles.
Photos -this is the most important . Get recent photos , full length and one passport well groomed from a studio
Pl do not use pohtos taken home or used for college application form. photos are a big turn off for most. people do not
care about it .most get rejected on this alone as it is a big turn off for most .A badly shot posted photo decides the fate of many

The experience speaks. The experiences of a 70+ living away from TN, with children who never bothered to ask him what to do when they themselves were looking for a match. giving unsolicited advice as usual. You go with these specifications and ask for a meeting. You will be meeting a 70+ walking with a walking stick. And he has promised more of this. Wait and see. LOL.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

vaagmiji
Great people think alike

I too thought I should terminate this dialog with you.

we are different poles .

we can live and let live.

with best wishes

Remember Bond Live and let die!!

GUNS N' ROSES LYRICS - Live And Let Die

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr1Ec7a4TZM


Revolver Reeta!!

 

[Vaagmi]

JJji

I was reserving it for next post.
academin qual.-always mention name of prestigeous school ,college , you have studied if you are grades are bad or

an avrage. for boys academic credentials matter more than looks
for jobs again MNC names or big four in IT or consulting are sought after
the gross yearly lakhs salary sound better than monthly net take home. try not to bluff on this.
mention you take your car to work-girls like car owners and husband who can drive them to office

Mention you get foreign assignments or atleast go on official trips/holiday abroad

these add value to profile

if you are a girl , add you will keep your job after marriage. it gives you the option to give uplater and stick to your existing place

in write up about yourself, describe yourself conservatively as a simple good looking person with high sounding ideals looking for a non orhodox ,liberal person who will give space to your desire to work besides pursuing your interests and hobbies this is a hit with mod.boys

discreetly indicate you have a limited talent in cooking and require help from man to manage the cooking .
also indicate your desire to eat out on week ends.this clearly says you are not going to be the cook for boys family.

wit all this float the profil and see what happens.

icollected 140 responses for a 28 yr old girl in 2 days of posting without paid membership recently.

this profile is a big hit.lol

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Eager to get. Please wait till the next post.

 

[baskarenh]

1

Dear All
This is my first post in the tam brahm site so forgive me if it is a long post.
I am in my early forties and remember all the trivia my parents had to go thru for mine as well as my brother as well sisters marriage. Those days advertisement in Hindu Newspaper was the popular choice than the matrimonial sites which are now more popular. So the motto was to keep on trying through several repeat advertisements till you are successful followed by endless trips to astrologer who would short-list based on ranking(porutams). Then parents would call speak to each other , exchange horoscopes and if it matched at the other end , meet each other and if everything is fine , then the prospective bride and groom meet each other and take it to a logical conclusion either yes or no. This has been the time tested process and irrespective off the pain involved it works. We , our parents etc and the generations before add enough testimony to this process.
The issue today is a combination of generation Y as well as the Parents. Both are impatient, less accomdative, more career focused, large egos and to top that declining beliefs in traditions and values. Yes increasing education levels of the girls and fancy jobs / salaries with very high expectations have seriously complicated the process but look at it at from the other perspective. If you have a girl child you would want her educated as well as your male offspring, allow her to work abroad etc and i don't see anything wrong in any of these. It is the value system the child has inherited that will make all the difference. Remember as Parents you were the role model. Were you responsible, unselfish, did family come first , did you respect your parents, did you value your traditions? If yes, the child 9 out of 10 would have picked up all these values and irrespective of the fancy job/salary she may have she will have a successful married life because the "glue" would always be family.
Modernization in its wake brings lot of positive as well as negatives. We as parents have to be the catalyst in guiding our young ones to make the right choices. We have a very rich culture, heritage, traditions. Lets make the best off them and not scoff at them. Change Just to add some perspective am attaching a very interesting
The 70's/80's reloaded​...
■your "Camlin" geometry box​ with​Natraj​/Flora pencil was your prized possession.
​The only "Holidays" you took were to go to your grandparents' or your cousins' hous​e​ .. generally somewhere​ within the country !​
​​​​Ice-cream meant only - either an orange stick, a vanilla stick – ​ ​or a Choco Bar if you were better off than most.
​You gave your neighbour’s phone number to others with a ‘c/o’​ ​written against it because you had booked yours only ​SEVEN ​years ago and were still waiting for your number to come.
Your parents were proud owners of HMT watches. You "earned" yours after ​the dreaded ​SSC exams.
You have been to "Jumbo Circus"; have held your breath while the pretty young thing in the glittery skirt did acrobatics, quite enjoyed the elephants hitting football, the motorcyclist vrooming in the "Mautka Gola" and it was politically okay to laugh your guts out at dwarfs hitting each other's bottoms ​!
You at least once heard "Hawa Mahal" on the radio.​ Or seen "Hum Log" on TV.​
​If you had a TV, it was normal to expect the neighborhood to gather around to watch the Chitrahaar or Ramayan or the Sunday movie. If you didn't have a​ ​ ​T​V ...​ you just went to a house that did. It mattered little if you knew the owners or not.
​Sometimes the owners of these TVs got very creative and got a bi- or even a tri-coloured anti-glare screen which they attached with two side clips onto their Weston ​or "EC" ​TVs. That confused the hell out of you​ ...
​
​Black White TVs weren't so bad after all because cricket was played in whites.
You dreaded the death of any political leader because of the ​mourning they would announce on the TV. After all how much ​ ​"Shashtriya Sangeet" can a kid take​?​
​Salma Sultan and Sarita Sethi​ also did'nt smile in Doordarshan News during the days of mourning ...​​
You knew that "Indira Gandhi" was somebody really powerful and terribly important. And that's all you needed to know.
The only "Gadgets" in the house were the TV, the Fridge and possibly a mixie.
All the gadgets had to be duly covered with a crochet covers and sometimes even with ingenious, custom-fit plastic covers.
Movies meant Rajanikant or Kamala Hassan. Before the start of the movie you always had to watch the obligatory ​black & white ​"​ Indian Newsreel ".
School teachers, your parents and even your neighbours could whack you and it was all okay.
Photograph taking was a big thing. You were lucky if your family owned a camera. A reel of 36 exposures was valuable hence it justified the half hour ​it​ ​took with everybody holding their breath and standing at attention!
During Diwali celebaration it was family clothes tailored from​ y​our favourite tailor down the road with all shirt pant and and sister's clothes with same cloth design ​.. it was ​quite ​common...
We walked to school or took a ​​bus​ ​( ​​​but,​it was also FUN to bi​k​e down ​​​!​ )​ ... ​the ones who got dropped by car were always ​the ​RICH ones​​.
Our outdoor games were gully danda, marbles, stick in the mud, langdi, lagoori , abba dubhi , Dog and the bone, chupa chupi .... ​​and​ ​don't forget the "FOUR CORNERS" in the school corridors during every Interval / Break.​
Going out to eat in a restaurant was an occasion maybe once ​or​​ ​​twice in a year.
Mostly we managed with one pair of shoes for the whole year at school, our elder brother/sisters clothes , books were passed to us for school...
" Duckback " raincoats were premium what we could get starting the school in rainy season every year​...
Life was fine, and we could happily survive without Mobile Phones, Internet, e-Mail and Whats App. The air was pure, the Grass was green, the sky was Blue, and the word 'pollution' was just another dirty word in the dictionary​​.

 

[krish44]

Vaagmiji
I thought you wanted to terminate your dialog with me.

How are you back with your wise posts?

It seems you have a hang up about me.lol

For your info/I settled marrige of my grand nephew in jan in four

weeks.my grand niece is also getting engaged in three weeks. I floated the profile twelve days back

both matches are tamil brahmins..

both have been /being settled thru matrimonial sites in record time.



mine is a fail safe strategy..

I am settling the wedding of my grand niece in next three weeks.

finding a match is indeed a simple affair .

 

[Vaagmi]

post # 82 continued:

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Same method is adopted for bed bugs too.

Happy mosquito and bed bug hunting. enjoy your peaceful sleep and sweet dreams.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Vaagmiji
I thought you wanted to terminate your dialog with me.

How are you back with your wise posts?

It seems you have a hang up about me.lol

For your info/I settled marrige of my grand nephew in jan in four

weeks.

both matches are tamil brahmins..

both have been /being settled thru matrimonial sites in record time.

proof of pudding is eating.

mine is a fail safe strategy..

I am settling the wedding of my grand niece in next three weeks.

Nice that you did - Now I would like to post my experiances regarding the adjustmente they made to carry forward to make it a successful realationship! - with mature decision regarding relocation Children Parents and parents in law! finance saving buying property children education etc! which is not easy to come!

 

[Vaagmi]

Vaagmiji
I thought you wanted to terminate your dialog with me.

How are you back with your wise posts?

It seems you have a hang up about me.lol

For your info/I settled marrige of my grand nephew in jan in four

weeks.my grand niece is also getting engaged in three weeks. I floated the profile twelve days back

both matches are tamil brahmins..

both have been /being settled thru matrimonial sites in record time.

proof of pudding is eating.

mine is a fail safe strategy..

I am settling the wedding of my grand niece in next three weeks.

Hang ups are for alcoholics and not for me, a person from a family with a reputation.

I settled marriages of ten of my nephews and twelve of my nieces in the last 5 years. And five of those were settled in the last two days. The five profiles were floated just three days back. all are TBs. This pudding, I am sure, is better than the pudding that you know.

And I did not follow your prescription. LOL.

 

[krish44]

JJji

shoot . waiting to know your experiences -post marriage of kids .keep it up. thanks

 

[krish44]

Hang ups are for alcoholics and not for me, a person from a family with a reputation.

I settled marriages of ten of my nephews and twelve of my nieces in the last 5 years. And five of those were settled in the last two days. The five profiles were floated just three days back. all are TBs. This pudding, I am sure, is better than the pudding that you know.

And I did not follow your prescription. LOL.

Good . share your experiences.
members will get an alternate model for settling marriages

 

[krish44]

continuing with my posts

what to do when people start approaching you on mobiles/telephone.

most important is to bond with them irrespective of age group and soft talk.

always talk regarding their interests.

when I receive calls from traditional type senior ladies/men -somehow it is mostly ladies trying to fix up mummys

boys- talk traditionally about kumbakonam, srirangam , divyadesam,acharyan[say swayamacharyan if you do not

know this info.lol], thengalai ,vadagalai etc and your relationship with all these places and things. if it happens to be

iyer ,then paramacharya , arupadaiveedugal are there to talk about.

talk about their husbands and kids . then they will take over ,you have only to listen.

next make them agree to their child to talk to your child and give your childs mobile and skype address

get similar info about their child and arrange for them to talk to each other a few times.

if they talk about horoscope, make them compare it or say you do not believe in it.

the second option is to be taken if the childs mother is educated and shows off talking in tamilinglish

then wait for two weeks for boy and girl exhaust themselves talking to each other. on skype.

if the relationship survives after two weeks call a meeting and have face to face meeting of boy ,girl and families and engagement ceremony with few people.simple

do not call any religeous types .just exchange rings and plate of betel leaves and coconut and get a lagna patrikai

prepared on net signed by both parties.lol .boy and girl engaged

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

continuing with my posts

what to do when people start approaching you on mobiles/telephone.

most important is to bond with them irrespective of age group and soft talk.

always talk regarding their interests.

when I receive calls from traditional type senior ladies/men -somehow it is mostly ladies trying to fix up mummys

boys- talk traditionally about kumbakonam, srirangam , divyadesam,acharyan[say swayamacharyan if you do not

know this info.lol], thengalai ,vadagalai etc and your relationship with all these places and things. if it happens to be

iyer ,then paramacharya , arupadaiveedugal are there to talk about.

talk about their husbands and kids . then they will take over ,you have only to listen.

next make them agree to their child to talk to your child and give your childs mobile and skype address

get similar info about their child and arrange for them to talk to each other a few times.

if they talk about horoscope, make them compare it or say you do not believe in it.

the second option is to be taken if the childs mother is educated and shows off talking in tamilinglish

then wait for two weeks for boy and girl exhaust themselves talking to each other. on skype.

if the relationship survives after two weeks call a meeting and have face to face meeting of boy ,girl and families and engagement ceremony with few people.simple

do not call any religeous types .just exchange rings and plate of betel leaves and coconut and get a lagna patrikai

prepared on net signed by both parties.lol .boy and girl engaged

This is ideal and simple This is the practice in Nadar community. The Nitchaydharatham is done the day before wedding No Sastrigal involved Every thing over in 10 minutes Both the parties go back to their respective place . Brides side people and guests eat in their place seperatly Same with Grooms side as well! There are no rituals here But the Rokka Panam(Varadhakshinai) and Moi etc strictly followed factorising cost of inflation! I attended one Nitchayadhartham Sunday (day before yesterday) at Aruppukottai. Guest were not offered even Thamboolm!.

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]aariya koothadinaalum
thandava kone
kaasu kaariyathil kaN vaiyada
thandava kone
aariya koothadinaalum
thandava kone
kaasu kaariyathil kaN vaiyada
thandava kone

[/FONT]

 

[krish44]

This is ideal and simple This is the practice in Nadar community. The Nitchaydharatham is done the day before wedding No Sastrigal involved Every thing over in 10 minutes Both the parties go back to their respective place . Brides side people and guests eat in their place seperatly Same with Grooms side as well! There are no rituals here But the Rokka Panam(Varadhakshinai) and Moi etc strictly followed factorising cost of inflation! I attended one Nitchayadhartham Sunday (day before yesterday) at Aruppukottai. Guest were not offered even Thamboolm!.

aariya koothadinaalum
thandava kone
kaasu kaariyathil kaN vaiyada
thandava kone
aariya koothadinaalum
thandava kone
kaasu kaariyathil kaN vaiyada
thandava kone

I ensured that boy and girl side share equally all expenses . The boy paid for engagement saree of cost almost to

the rings paid for by the girls side. we had small get together at the nearest mall with high tea . just 15 people total

, almost equal numbers on both sides. the expenses were nominal . after the event ,we went our different ways.

both parties were very happy. girl side because there were no talk of gold ,silver or such things. they were given

the choice of place ,date of marriage with our number of persons attending indicated to them[a nominal small

number as it was outstation]. we offered to share the marriage expenses by paying for a meal as ethir mariyadhai

 

[kunjuppu]

I ensured that boy and girl side share equally all expenses . The boy paid for engagement saree of cost almost to

the rings paid for by the girls side. we had small get together at the nearest mall with high tea . just 15 people total

, almost equal numbers on both sides. the expenses were nominal . after the event ,we went our different ways.

both parties were very happy. girl side because there were no talk of gold ,silver or such things. they were given

the choice of place ,date of marriage with our number of persons attending indicated to them[a nominal small

number as it was outstation]. we offered to share the marriage expenses by paying for a meal as ethir mariyadhai

krish, hopefully these are the signs of the future. all indian weddings, across all castes and languages, in the west, mostly IC amd or inter language, the weddings are very informal. even though some tend to get expensive, the whole drama is restricted to the bride and groom, and possibly their parents.

one nair wedding i attended, all over in 5 minutes. everyone simply loved it.

 

[kunjuppu]

This is ideal and simple This is the practice in Nadar community. The Nitchaydharatham is done the day before wedding No Sastrigal involved Every thing over in 10 minutes Both the parties go back to their respective place . Brides side people and guests eat in their place seperatly Same with Grooms side as well! There are no rituals here But the Rokka Panam(Varadhakshinai) and Moi etc strictly followed factorising cost of inflation! I attended one Nitchayadhartham Sunday (day before yesterday) at Aruppukottai. Guest were not offered even Thamboolm!.

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]aariya koothadinaalum
thandava kone
kaasu kaariyathil kaN vaiyada
thandava kone
aariya koothadinaalum
thandava kone
kaasu kaariyathil kaN vaiyada
thandava kone

[/FONT]

it is well known and accepted within the nadar community, due to the prosperity, the rampantly practised dowry is inflated to an astonishing level. which is another reason, the nadars now not only marry within community, but also within religion, as hindu nadars are the most prosperous, while their christian cohorts are more educated.

we are talking of crores here mostly in the form of a kilo or such of gold sovereigns, a fancy car, a set for a medical hospital if the groom is a doctor or dentist, and the list goes on and on. the father of the brides compete for educated mappillais and apparently are very happy to pay the rokka panam. the moi is also along the same lines, - an average tambram family would see their entire yearly expense doled out in one wedding by one family as moi.

 

[tbs]

krish, hopefully these are the signs of the future. all indian weddings, across all castes and languages, in the west, mostly IC amd or inter language, the weddings are very informal. even though some tend to get expensive, the whole drama is restricted to the bride and groom, and possibly their parents.

one nair wedding i attended, all over in 5 minutes. everyone simply loved it.

hi

nair weddings very simple...i saw 3 nair weddings in guruvayur temple..totally half an hour for 3 weddings....less than 1 hour...

i liked very much....in USA...many hindu weddings are less than 1 hour....cocktail party /dance party may be more than 3 hours...

 

[krish44]

Another interesting fact . According to bharat matrimony survey , only 36 percent in chennai region are prepared to

marry outside their caste while , kolkatta and delhi it is 56-59 percent.

Caste appears to be an important factor in dravidian dispensation.

in brahmin community , the number of unmarried males in thirtees is enormous. they are all well educated and in

very good jobs. since tamil brahmns are dispersed over the country and many are abroad , they find it difficult to get

a match. the situation is pathetic, dozen of parents chasing a few girls available for marriage.they are prepared to do

anything to get a brahmin girl.

has it anything to do with demography?

where have the girls disappeared?

I have some interesting stories on how mothers of these boys behave.

I have been unable to sleep as they have been ringing me up at odd hours-some repeatedly pushing their sons.

also , they sell themselvess saying they will look after girls like their own daughters, cook for them etc.

they are prepared to travel thousands of miles to see a prospective girl.

The parents of older boys have no demands . according to them ,they want only a brahmin girl and nothing more

 

[krish44]

yet many of these parents of brahmin boys are not prepared to compromise on caste.

the only concession is any brahmin will do.

but , the more interesting phenomenon is boys and more girls marrying those in their own city .

in mumbai it is the local marathis,gujeratis, delhi it is kayasths,brahmins of UP,,bihar who have settled in delhi years

back from british or post independance days and are from govt servants families. some are adventurous and marry

punjabis. These mixed types are very common in delhi

 

[mkrishna100]

where have the girls disappeared?

The male to female ratio is highly imbalanced and the no of girls for 1000 boys is highly reduced and the same is true for Brahmin families .I do not have the statistics but that is the truth .Plus TB Girls are giving more importance to their education and career and not willing to compromise the same for marriage and many TB girls are also not getting married for the same reason . If at all they settle down for marriage it is only with that Guy who is not interfering in their education , job .and in fact willing to re-orient his career to accommodate the demands of the Girls . No longer are TB Girls willing to play the role of DIL and this is a shocking reality many TB boys and their parents are unwilling to come to terms with . Recently one of my cousin from Mumbai told me that his daughter is making impossible demands from the boys side and they are frustrated as she is just rejecting each and every boy with one reason or the other and wants a perfect match ( perfect according to her ) . The Girl is now in USA first went for studies and employed there and her demands have increased more and they said they have given up seeing alliance for her and told her to find a boy for herself and even if it means he belongs to other caste / community . The Girl is still searching and I have no idea whether she will find a match that will fit her 100% requirements . I am not judging anyone here but only pointing out the reality that TB Girls have become more assertive and have increased their demands . While it is hurting the TB boys , I can also see frustration in many TB girls parents ( as far as my family & relative circle I know it for sure ) who acknowledge they their daughters are too much demanding and not taking practical realities in to account ..Many TB Girls parents have given up seeing grooms for their girls and given them freedom to make their own choice .

 

[krish44]

continuing with the thread, the next step after engagement, the marriage itself.

most do not have any idea about expenses that go into a marriage and control to some extent.

if money goes into jewellery [gold etc] or silver , it is conversion of rupees into immobile asset and may not be bad

per se. similarly if it is consumer durable like frig ,TV or washing machine, it is required for good living and OK.

but what hurts is money spent on marriage halls ,food , transportation[train,air], clothes [sarees?] for all relatives

often silk.

marriage halls always oversized than required, booked at least for 2 days[check in rigid timings ensures that it has to

be booked for two days], premium for good location jack up the costs.In addition hotel accomodation also get

booked for outstation relatives.if one plans these judiciously , one can save a lot.It is worth checking this Smaller .Halls in suburbs or choosing to have marriages in smaller cities or getting halls belonging to govt is a solution.

in delhi , there are baraat ghars belonging to govt which are availble.similarly defence miny. offers its halls if it is

free. many use these.

Food is another major item . if only number of invitees are restricted,it is very easy to bring it down.if one is

disciplined and invites only relatives and very close friends to muhurtham and friends only to reception it would be a

huge saving

similarly clothes. If a few sarees are bought for the bride , it is fine. but many make it their prestige, buy sarees for all

relatives costing a bomb. worst part is it is costly silk.there has to be some reason for this. this money spent can be

given to those getting married to set up their home instead.

then this honeymoon to foreign lands.Iknow people who go to exotic locations for a couple of weeks costing a few

lakhs .could not india do,if it saves lakhs.

most cases girls side takes up most of the expenses. why should the boys side not take some expense.

all these expenses drive many parents downhill . Later on only children have to support these paarents.lol

most parents pass on their debts to children after splurging on marriages like this They later on lament that

children do not look after them

 

[krish44]

An interesting thing which happens when one marries working ladies.

they bring their parents debts along with them.lol

they have a way of saying my parents spent a lot on my education and marriage and recover the same from husband

so when one marries working ladies ,one collects debt of inlaws.lol

so do not squeeze parents of working ladies at the time of marriage. only you will pay for it later.

there is no escape in life and no free lunches

most marriages are strained due to money issues of girls parents.in india ,you do not marry a girl ,you marry a

family.this wisdom comes to most boys only after marriage.lol