women domination

[amala]

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Yes Bushugaru, Nara mama,

I thought the girl was cool and calm but i did feel sorry for the boy. She wasn't taunting him knowingly Bushu garu. She is but a child. An innocent child. If anyone is at fault its that boy's mother egging them on. But its funny how the little boy didn't want to marry her. At that age many boys hate little girls and don't want to sit with them in kindergarten etc. Mostly it goes away when they grow up. For some kids it never does. Hence misogynists perhaps?

 

[amala]

Kunjuppu mama,

I am not surprised at penis envy at all. I've heard (and overheard as well!) many a time women/girls saying things like "wish i was a guy" especially during the time of the month or when their parents don't let them go out but let their brothers, at workplaces etc. The last time i heard it was at an acquantainces do where the girl was being forced to dress up while her brother just got to wear any ol' trousers/shirt and run off .

 

[Subhalakshmi]

You stole my heart bushu ji........

The usage of such words are very very common in English World. At the same time such equivalent words are very much common in India too. Both North Indians and South Indians, as you know, have many such swear words and are commonly used, especially in urban areas.

As you have stated, I feel so too. Why can't we express without the cuss words? Much to my surprise I hear people saying, using cuss words shows that one belongs to high class and those who dont like it and don't use it are considered low class or middle class. I am highly sensitive to such usage and can't bear people using against me. May be it is that, either I don't belong to high class or I am not in synch with the fashion. Whatever may be the reason, I am not confortable with such cuss words.

The most shocking and disguisting thing for me is, girls using such swear words against guys and guys using against gals.

In reality, I could find girls using such cuss words against guys. One of my female colleagues uses such terminalogies against the boys in her social circle. Off course, I dunno if some Brahmin girls in India are fascinated with such usage. So far, I could not find any Brahmin guys in my social circle using such cuss words. I could only find some Brahmin guys who are all disgusted with such usage, like me, during casual discussion on this.

In Dlehi, in present generation, it is very common among college gals to show middle finger to guys, often.

O! Ravi Ji, you are sweet. thank you..

Wow! I did not know that cussing is a high class thing.. isn't that stupid.. if someone considers themselves all suavy and sophisticated, one should not use such words, well that is my opinion.. be it girls using against boys or boys against girls, I just don't like it.. I think it is cheap.. OK I am not saying when someone is frustrated you just yell out something, that is OK with me.. but on a daily basis and that too every sentence, Nah!!! I don't like it.. I think there were a lot of Americans spoke that way even in public a lot but in the recent years I have not seen that many, in fact, it is so sweet of my co workers about five men, will never use cuss words in front of me.. One day someone did and the other took him to task,..

I feel the girls now are bolder for the wrong things.. I always admire women who have come a long way from the time they were treated like slaves and no where to go to this sophisticated, well educated well dressed and beautiful inside and out.. and again there are some who are so vain (being a little vain is ok ), so conscious of their bodies and look at today's actress what is happening.. the sari is not to cover the bosom anymore looks like..

I came away late 70's and my image of india and Indian girls are of charm, beauty, grace intelligent nurturing etc etc.. but well I guess they are competing with the women in the western world.. )

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Kunjuppu mama,

I am not surprised at penis envy at all. I've heard (and overheard as well!) many a time women/girls saying things like "wish i was a guy" especially during the time of the month or when their parents don't let them go out but let their brothers, at workplaces etc. The last time i heard it was at an acquantainces do where the girl was being forced to dress up while her brother just got to wear any ol' trousers/shirt and run off .

You know why they feel that way Amala, it is all in the treatment from the parents specially the mother, a mother always favors the son and always says in many ways to the daughter.. I think in some cases it is more of suffering from inferiority complex than being jealous of the male. well that is my two cents..

 

[amala]

I'm not sure about inferiority complex or even outright jealousy. I think perhaps (i admit i may be wrong) but looking around and all life is just that wee bit more easier if one is male, biologically, socially, emotionally et cetera et cetera et cetera.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Just now I posted this in my thread! Those who can not read Tamil, please excuse...

நல்லதையே பேசுங்கள்!

ஒரு முறை மூவர் தவமிருந்து, இறைவனை
ஒரு வரம் கேட்க மிகவும் விழைந்தனர். அந்த

பக்தியை மெச்சி, இறைவன் தரிசனம் தந்திட,
யுக்தியுடன் ஒரு சேர, ஒரே வரம் கேட்டனர்.

எதிரில் உள்ள குளம், தாம் எண்ணுவதாகவே,
அதனுள் குதித்ததும் மாறிட வேண்டிக் கொள்ள,

'அவ்வாறே ஆகட்டும்' என இறைவன் மறைய,
அப்போதே தமது சோதனையை ஆரம்பித்தனர்.

முதல் மனிதன், குளம் ஆடைகளாகிட வேண்டி,
அதில் குதிக்க, பல வண்ண ஆடைகள் நிரம்பின!

ஆடைப் பிரியனான அவன், அத்தனையும் தானே
ஆவலுடன் அணிய எடுத்துச் செல்ல, அடுத்தவன்

மனைவி அணிகலன்களை வேண்டுவதால், தன்
மனைவிக்கு நகைகள் வேண்டுமென்று குதித்திட,

கண்ணைப் பறித்து மனம் மயக்கும் நகைகள், தன்
எண்ணப்படி வர, அள்ளிக் கொண்டு செல்ல, பின்

மூன்றாமவன் வைரங்களாக வேண்டி, செல்வம்
மூன்று தலைமுறைக்குச் சேர்த்திட நினைத்தபடி,

ஆவலாதிபோல ஓடி வர, காலில் ஒரு கல் தடுக்க,
ஆங்காரத்துடன் Bull shit என்று கத்தி குதித்தான்!

அவன் நிலைமை என்னவென எண்ணினால், நாம்
அவனைப் போலப் பேசாது இருக்கவும் பழகுவோம்!

:blah: . :blah:

Fantastic..

Well I think i read this in english, someone sent it to me.. well my MIL used to say, there are the Saaranargal who are floating above and whatever you say, they keep saying " Thadhasthu" so I always tell my children, even for fun sake don't say anything negative.. I feel even thinking negative brings those vibes back quickly.. I can site many examples but don't want to bore you..

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Yes Bushugaru, Nara mama,

I thought the girl was cool and calm but i did feel sorry for the boy. She wasn't taunting him knowingly Bushu garu. She is but a child. An innocent child. If anyone is at fault its that boy's mother egging them on. But its funny how the little boy didn't want to marry her. At that age many boys hate little girls and don't want to sit with them in kindergarten etc. Mostly it goes away when they grow up. For some kids it never does. Hence misogynists perhaps?

You are right.. I did see that.. but again, I was only thinking if that girl becomes exactly like that when she grows up O dear, what will happen to the boy.. )) I know boys are so awkward until mid teens.. again you are right boys will be boys for the most part.. that is the reason those days there was 10 year difference.. the girl is more matured and the boys catch up later.. heheheheee!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[tbs]

ada paavi manusha,engaiyoh poiteenga.... but that is also good

hi NN sir,
naan onnum thappa sollale...unga words koncham vilakkama sonnen...avvaluvu thaan....besh besh....

regards
tbs

 

[tbs]

without comments...i present this video

I am gonna Marry You - YouTube

penis envy? penis rage, more likely

hi K sir,
payyan koncham bayantha swabhavam......paavam payya kozhandai....kalynanam na koncham bayam adhigam thaan....


regards
tbs

 

[renuka]

O Ok! I get it.. no offense taken.. but again, do you think girls are envious in that way, I don't agree with the famous Freud.. that is my opinion

The human nature is sometimes weird..its true we girls are not really envious of what guys have and neither are guys are envious of what girls have but both end up loving each other to make a perfect "fit".
I hope you get what I mean Bushu..

But I know some girls who always wish they were guys but i really enjoy being a female..as a female we can dress up with nice clothes,nice shoes,wear lipstick and the best thing as a female we get lots of things done by giving the sweetest smiles and glances by using our charm.
A woman can be mysterious and dangerous too and thats the best part.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

The human nature is sometimes weird..its true we girls are not really envious of what guys have and neither are guys are envious of what girls have but both end up loving each other to make a perfect "fit".
I hope you get what I mean Bushu..

But I know some girls who always wish they were guys but i really enjoy being a female..as a female we can dress up with nice clothes,nice shoes,wear lipstick and the best thing as a female we get lots of things done by giving the sweetest smiles and glances by using our charm.
A woman can be mysterious and dangerous too and thats the best part.

I agree with you Renu, I love being a woman, yes! love to dress up too.. specially in sarees.. that is one of my greatest weakness the other one was beautiful earrings, not necessarily gold but even if I pay $2, it should look like $200, I have achieved that look many times..

About being mysterious Yes!! but dangerous Nah!! .. )))

I had a big grin reading this " we get lots of things done by giving the sweetest smiles and glances by using our charm"

reminded of that song " Paarvai ondre podhume, pallayiram sol vendumaa?? Pesaadha kangall pesuma "

 

[renuka]

I agree with you Renu, I love being a woman, yes! love to dress up too.. specially in sarees.. that is one of my greatest weakness the other one was beautiful earrings, not necessarily gold but even if I pay $2, it should look like $200, I have achieved that look many times..

About being mysterious Yes!! but dangerous Nah!! .. )))

I had a big grin reading this " we get lots of things done by giving the sweetest smiles and glances by using our charm"

reminded of that song " Paarvai ondre podhume, pallayiram sol vendumaa?? Pesaadha kangall pesuma "

OMG I love to wear sarees esp with cute blouses that makes my mum get mad cos she wished the blouses had more cloth!!!


But I dont like wearing ear rings partly cos my ears turn red with anything on it and I also dont spend much but chose the right stuff and many think that I spend a lot.
See thats an art to chose stuff that dont cost much but look like a million dollars.

May be you can share with me and Amala some tips to look good.I see your pic here is attractive.Amalas also love to dress up.

You know in college I used to dress well and the only time I dressed down is during exams cos the external proffs had some sort of impression that girls who dress well dont study well and might not give us good marks even though you answer well.
So that time I used to dress down.

 

[biswa]

A woman can be mysterious and dangerous too and thats the best part.

Isn't this the description of Bond, James Bond?

 

[biswa]

Why is it that women get to dress up, while men usually get a dressing down?

 

[renuka]

Why is it that women get to dress up, while men usually get a dressing down?

Thats still Ok compared to a dressed Turkey/Chicken..(its undressed but yet called dressed!!!)

 

[renuka]

Isn't this the description of Bond, James Bond?

OK I guess then we women have a "A View To a Kill"

 

[Subhalakshmi]

OMG I love to wear sarees esp with cute blouses that makes my mum get mad cos she wished the blouses had more cloth!!!


But I dont like wearing ear rings partly cos my ears turn red with anything on it and I also dont spend much but chose the right stuff and many think that I spend a lot.
See thats an art to chose stuff that dont cost much but look like a million dollars.

May be you can share with me and Amala some tips to look good.I see your pic here is attractive.Amalas also love to dress up.

You know in college I used to dress well and the only time I dressed down is during exams cos the external proffs had some sort of impression that girls who dress well dont study well and might not give us good marks even though you answer well.
So that time I used to dress down.

TEll me about it.. I love those blouses.. even though I am 57 I love those blouses, and I have always worn, low cut in the back, now with all those string tying and different designs, of course, I will be a bit conservative, don't like too much attention either..

Whenever I wear a heavy saree I wear simple jewelry, a earring that makes a statement and just my thali chain inside.. that's it.. but when I have goergette. again it has to be not too see through, I am through with all that kind of look.. plus I am not young and slim and pretty like you are dear.. anyway, with simple sarees I wear heavy necklace or a nice chain and not a very heavy but semi heavy earring.. and my daughter always maintains that you don't have to match your jewelry as long as the colors are picked up.. which I agree..

In addition if you guys want to see my collection.. I have about 60 or more pieces that I got made with beads and beautiful pendants from Madras.. some are semi precious stones and some are glass beads, and the addition that I made them put in each chain is unique.. if you are on facebook.. check me out.. I go under Subha Lakshmi or you may see Narayana attached to it..

being here for so many years, I am writing like an american, my spelling for a few things are off... because of the American influence.. for example Jewellery I guess is the right one but we use only one L.. just realized what I was doing that's all..

When you go to India next, get some light silk - they are gorgeous.. it is light and what imagination of the designer.. I am not into too much chemki work but love a little bit of it.. but without it the saree with just the original weave and the color combo is awesome..

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Why is it that women get to dress up, while men usually get a dressing down?

You mean you guys dress down ??? not too much into the fashion etc??? hey don't you love it when your wife gets all decked up..... Enjoy the beautiful view..

 

[biswa]

You know it is so hard to dominate a(n Indian) woman if she is dressed to the hilt. Oops, I meant heel.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

You know it is so hard to dominate a(n Indian) woman if she is dressed to the hilt. Oops, I meant heel.

Why it makes you nervous and insecure???? )))

 

[renuka]

TEll me about it.. I love those blouses.. even though I am 57 I love those blouses, and I have always worn, low cut in the back, now with all those string tying and different designs, of course, I will be a bit conservative, don't like too much attention either..

Whenever I wear a heavy saree I wear simple jewelry, a earring that makes a statement and just my thali chain inside.. that's it.. but when I have goergette. again it has to be not too see through, I am through with all that kind of look.. plus I am not young and slim and pretty like you are dear.. anyway, with simple sarees I wear heavy necklace or a nice chain and not a very heavy but semi heavy earring.. and my daughter always maintains that you don't have to match your jewelry as long as the colors are picked up.. which I agree..

In addition if you guys want to see my collection.. I have about 60 or more pieces that I got made with beads and beautiful pendants from Madras.. some are semi precious stones and some are glass beads, and the addition that I made them put in each chain is unique.. if you are on facebook.. check me out.. I go under Subha Lakshmi or you may see Narayana attached to it..

being here for so many years, I am writing like an american, my spelling for a few things are off... because of the American influence.. for example Jewellery I guess is the right one but we use only one L.. just realized what I was doing that's all..

When you go to India next, get some light silk - they are gorgeous.. it is light and what imagination of the designer.. I am not into too much chemki work but love a little bit of it.. but without it the saree with just the original weave and the color combo is awesome..

I only wear Chiffon and Georgette cos i think I said before I dont wear silk(my mum poor thing yaar..she keeps saying why did i get a daughter who doesnt wear silk,gold etc cos she doesnt know who to pass all her sarees and gold to)

I am not in Facebook anymore I deleted my account long back.Bushu Ji I am 41 and not too young either but I still wear all those sexy blouses cos its too hard to resists.I like halter blouses, string backs, low back too.

I also like costume jewels esp crystals..Semi precious I have a Silver Aum with semi precious stones I bought from India.

You know wearing an AUM with a white gold chain looks very beautiful and just yesterday I was asking my mum why a Thali never has AUM design..it would be so beautiful.I always wishes Tamil Thalis were shorter at neck level but dont know why its too long.Somehow long chains dont look good on me.

I also have some collection of glass plastic beads that I wear on weekends.
At work I dont wear any rings,bangles cos the hazard of removing them each time we do a procedure and the risk of carrying back any bacteria.
So only when I go out I wear crystal bracelets and white gold ring.

You know let Amala read this..she will share with us too what she likes.
BTW I forgot I like to wear Payals(Golosu) when I wear sarees cos I like the sound.I like the non silver ones they make more sound.These are the cheap ones you can buy off any cart by the road in India and they do last long time if you keep them well.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

You are right, Aum is a beautiful symbol to wear.. I used to wear my thali, even if I had to get chest Ex Ray, the nurses thought I was silly, but I would wear it over the ears.. all that changed after 30 years.. Now I wear the black beads with a very simple sort of pottu style, it looks so pretty, not flashy.. and the black beads are very small.. that is the in thing my niece said..

I love chiffon too, I do have a few of them and some really god georgette.. love that material.. but try those thin silks next time.. I also have the same dilemma as your mom.. who would wear my sarees.. my gold my kids will take, I don't have too much chunky ones.. mine are all I have to say unique sort of antique.. I like it that way, I exchanged some old gold chains for a very modern necklace, all that is with my daughters.. I have my old stuff..

I do understand being a physician you can't wear rings etc..and also don't want to look over dressed.. I remember my OBGYN in Calcutta, used to be dressed in Japan sarees, which were expensive for those days, all those 644 and also had matching earrings and she used to smell great.. )

I have some lovely physicians as close friends.. I used to also work for the medical board in NJ..

O yeah Payal is great.. I still have mine, which my father made for me when I was 5.. and also the kunjalam.. in gold my daughter wore that for her wedding.... Yeah I am waiting for Amala to see our mail exchange..

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Listen, Renu, you look damn young because of your attitude.. that is refreshing..

 

[renuka]

Listen, Renu, you look damn young because of your attitude.. that is refreshing..

You know Bushu..thats genetic I feel cos even my brothers look young for their age.
But it does come with 2 major drawbacks.

1)At work!!! people think I dont have much experience cos they think I am young and doctors who are actually younger to me (but look older) somehow patients believe them more!!!

2)Second drawback is a wife that didnt age as fast as she should have.That youth finally becomes ones own enemy in the eyes of her spouse.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

You know Bushu..thats genetic I feel cos even my brothers look young for their age.
But it does come with 2 major drawbacks.

1)At work!!! people think I dont have much experience cos they think I am young and doctors who are actually younger to me (but look older) somehow patients believe them more!!!

2)Second drawback is a wife that didnt age as fast as she should have.That youth finally becomes ones own enemy in the eyes of her spouse.

I completely understand on both accounts Renu, my daughter had similar experience,when she was in India, this guy had no respect for her, since she looked like a teenager.. at the time she was 26 I think and instead of taking checking with her regarding a project, he would only talk to the translator.. and then there was another guy who was so arrogant and insulted her in so many words almost like why are you here..

About beauty of a wife hurting the husband, been there dear, very much.. I went through a lot but again that is an experience in life..

One of my BIL's was telling his father that he wanted a very beautiful girl etc.. My FIL said to him, Ok son, we will find someone very suitable, but if the girl is very beautiful, not only you will look at her, but the whole world will look at her even if she is your spouse, are you OK with it.. he did not know how to answer..

Many years later, about two weeks after I was married.. he came to my ex and said " brother, your wife is extremely beautiful very nice person and she is so glamorous she should have been a movie star, at that time my ex was in cloud nine.. but later on what happened, god only knows.. ))

all my BIL's treat me like their sister and respect me a lot.. so I am grateful.. My MIL used to say " Bharya roopavathi shathru" I asked her is she her own enemy or her husband's enemy??? she had no answer..