visa,
it is not a crime for a brahmin to drink or eat meat. it is a crime to do those, and yet claim to be superior and exclusive. all this proves, is that we are no better or no worse than any other group.
since india's independence, our community has gone through enormous changes. our career and education aspirations have moved at a faster pace than our mental ability to adjust to the accompanying challenge of values. if success means an MBA at harvard, and we have in our scriptures that to cross the kala pani is to lose caste, it is not much of a brainer to understand who will be the winner.
also in other communities for the past 33 years, since the dawn of the dravidian reformation came, with the rule of dmk, even more enormous changes have taken place. for the first time ever, and i repeat, for the first time ever, their familiar order and hierarchy have been threatened. no longer, can they or will they or should they, look at education as something that is not of them. thanks to periyar and MK and MGR, the farmer or the blacksmith or potter or sthapathi of today, has no guarantee that his son will follow him.
i can understand the discomfort and dismay among the older generation, and the older thinking younger generation, about the loss of values, traditions and ultimately a threat to their clan. not unlike the lament for a declining brahmin count in tamil nadu.
to me, the answer is to embrace new comers. if your daughter marries from outside the caste, evaluate him on his credentials and ability to take care of your daughter, and not on the caste. why not consider a good candidate as a son gained and not as a daughter lost. there are two colours and sides to a shield, as we all know form that old story.
is it not possible for a son in law from another group to be taught and respect and practice the brahmin traditions. is it not just possible to inculcate brahmins customs to a non brahmin daughter in law. where there is a will there is always a way. the parents are the key, to provide the leadership, the support and above all be standard beacon to the rest of the community, steadfast not only in their support and tolerate no bigotry towards their children.
these are enlightened parents, and continue to be considered enlightened, till such caste is no longer a source of concern or issue. we must not forget, that in the overall context of india, unless we change our attitudes, we are in for a fragmentation built nation, which are unravel at the whiff of any strong external wind like the USSR of old did. does not take long to separate, but it takes forever to be united.
i agree with you that the rich have their own rules, beyond anyone. the middle class appears affected but i think these are quicker to adapt. i think our poorer tambram brethren are more affected and form the bulk of the traditional element. just to give you an example, in the premises of this forum, there used to swayamvarams, which are no longer held. all over, i used to see the pix, and judging from the participants, it appeared to be the lower middle or lower groups of tambrams. i could be ofcourse completely off the mark, but my dealings with this group, have often found me amazed at the chips on these folks shoulders.
in the light of increased intercaste marriages, it is my gut feeling that very soon some day, this is going to be an avalanche and those parents who still hold on to outmoded values, are in for much grief and heartaches.
personally, i think, there are enough number of folks in this forum, who can in some sort of way provide guidance, counselling and advice, to identify values and coach them as to how to bring up children in this modern era, and provide them with werewithals for finding suitable spouses. harping on anti ic marriages, i fear will only solidify the youngsters resolve to do what they want, and thus everyone ends up in a lose lose situation.
thank you.
